After i wrote How to Save a Dying Relationship i got a facebook message on this sensitive area i didn't mention but I'm making it open for general wisdom.

The message goes,

"pls hide my name. I have been dating this guy for almost a year now and the highest cash i could remember given me was 1k. I do everything by myself though i made complains but he hasn't changed. I don't know, maybe because he thinks i'm ok? I have always been an independent lady and begging for stuffs is what i can't do but i fear for us, i'm scared of marriage to such a man. I don't know if he will go on like that or maybe i put a stop to it now. Please advise me"

SOURCE

After reading that, i was more concern about spending in a relationship. It could be said that when a guy spends too much, ladies sees him as a 'maga'. . . when a lady ask too much, guys sees her as a 'pest'. . . How have you balanced this? How do you handle financial issues in your relationship?

Are they living together??

I'm at a lost here, what is he suppose to give her money for?

If she isn't in some financial crises and the man has refused to help, what in fact is her problem??

I think there should be a clear difference between Dating and Marriage.

My points should be on Dating.

A stingy guy is one who has enough fund or materials to satisfy a person's needs but out of greed, he pretends he doesnt have. When a guy has money but doesnt give out is different from when he doesnt have and cannot steal to give out.

Understanding is what some people lack in a relationship. I am not trying to be sentimental by defending any of the gender but a lady should not let her priority in a relationship be all about getting help(fund) from the guy. As he plans to make ends meet, you too sleep and think of how to make it in life. Be independent.

MONEY only impress lazy girls; when a woman works hard, a man with money is just a BONUS and not a ladder of upgrade!

How can she be an independent woman and also complain about the guy not giving her money? What are we talking about here? Is the problem the fact that the guy doesn't buy her gifts on occasions like her birthday/anniversary? Or giving her money to live on?

LastApostle: MONEY only impress lazy girls; when a woman works hard, a man with money is just a BONUS and not a ladder of upgrade!

wRong, I need my husband to take hold of me. How can I be womanly when I pay all my bills.

The gal should kuku tell us there is someone buying her gift and giving her money..if not she wuld'nt be worried.Its a natural thing for d ladies?

2legit2qwt: How can she be an independent woman and also complain about the guy not giving her money? What are we talking about here? Is the problem the fact that the guy doesn't buy her gifts on occasions like her birthday/anniversary? Or giving her money to live on?

. She needed to be appreciated

X

In every relationship, openness is needed. If ur partner is aware of your financial capability, then there is no need for any hard and fast rule as to who should bring what.
There is a need for women to realize that it is no longer a man's world. The opportunity of making money is open to both gender. Hence the idea of a man giving out money like father christmas or catering to your every need is a thing of the past.

olivegirl: . She needed to be appreciated

Is money the only way to appreciate a girl

If we strip it naked, money is merely a unit of measure, an accounting tool. Money is a means of trade and exchange. Money holds no value in the strength of your relationship. Money can never be a symbol of your romantic achievements. Your partnership is the focus of your greatest success. The health, direction and progress of your partnership are where your greatest riches lie.

1st of all, is d guy her father or bf?. 2nd, witout d guy can't she survive?. 3rd, what kind of fwends does she kip?. 4th, what is her own definition of luv?. 5th, wia's it written d@ in a r/ship d dude shld spend on his babe? Afterall d scripture made me 2 understand d@ a woman shld b a helpmate. My advice is d@ d lady shld over-luk d guys' pocket & play d role of an independent woman.

I don't wana derail this thread.............








S̴̩☺ I won't comment

Here we go again! Abeg where DailyNews, lalaosky, caracta, ogugua, lynpetra, ok Redbenson is here already.!

Better don land for ground gidipa! Let's talk it.

The Lady should run... Cos. The coast is clear now before she will come and write on FB,NL TW. that SAVE ME MY HUSBAND IS STINGY..

I feel so confortable giving my partner my signed blank checks for emergency use... But she must confirm from me before going to bank o...

this is a very sensitive issue,myfriend works butwhen she visits she expects at least transport,we live at different towns four hours on road apart,once i didnt give her she did nt complain,but her response in some issues made me know she was expecting some thing from me.since then my dear ,i dis covered no matter how much a woman has she still wants her mans own.a woman always want her man to buy things for her once in a while.

olivegirl: . She needed to be appreciated

Appreciated with money?

I'm sincerely nt in support of female askin..Only if it's gettin' too much..nt as in d case of 1k for d whole life of a relationship...what i expect a guy to take care once in a yl recharge card..bb subscriptions and nt actual physical cash..am also in same ditch..my gurlfrnd asks a lot too and too frequent after i recharge once in a week wif lik 200naira..pays monthly subscription on a monthly basis..buy gifts for b.days nd extends cash once in a yl..d funny thing is if she wanna buy stuffs lik fones and expensive gadgets..i supports wif minimum of 5k..the funny tin is, she earns more dan i du..*we are both fresh graduates*

olivegirl: wRong, I need my husband to take hold of me. How can I be womanly when I pay all my bills.

Who is supposed to pay YOUR bills in the first place or who incurred those Bills?

I don't understand. Did the guy take an oath to foot her bills? Is he stingy or insensitive? What if the guy wasn't there in the first place?

Sometimes, you need to live your life as if you are alone in the world. Never weave your success or breakthrough around anybody. That way, you won't be disappointed.

I still don't understand the terms of their relationship...so i can't say more.

*shrugs*

My dear is better u leave dat guy.I was once in a relationship like dat,for a year d guy didn't give me a dime becos i neva ask rather he wil jus buy nd both of u wil eat but d money is there.No mata what every lady needs money from her weather independent or not.

D-Explorer:

"pls hide my name. I have been dating this guy for almost a year now and the highest cash i could remember given me was 1k. I do everything by myself though i made complains but he hasn't changed. I don't know, maybe because he thinks i'm ok? I have always been an independent lady and begging for stuffs is what i can't do but i fear for us, i'm scared of marriage to such a man. I don't know if he will go on like that or maybe i put a stop to it now. Please advise me"

1. What is the highest amount you have ever given him?

2. You do everything yourself? is that an anomaly? isnt that why God gave you hands and a brain?

3. Why should you beg for stuffs?

4. Is your purpose of getting a boyfriend to fulfill your financial needs?

5. What are you scared of in marriage to such a man since you already said you are independent?

Why should you be getting paid for having a boyfriend

Evanisgud: My dear is better u leave dat guy.I was once in a relationship like dat,for a year d guy didn't give me a dime becos i neva ask rather he wil jus buy nd both of u wil eat but d money is there.No mata what every lady needs money from her weather independent or not.

What did you ever give the guy monetarily?

When you started the relationship, Was there an agreement for him to be giving you money?

Which job did you do for him to warrant a paycheck or salary?

I had to read the "story" again. Some guys don't even give until you ask. Relationship is about sharing...not just in monetary terms. If he is the type that doesn't share or make sacrifices AT ALL (both monetary and non-monetary), the lady should think twice about the relationship.

And i just hope she is not stingy too...

olivegirl: . She needed to be appreciated

how?

2legit2qwt:
Is money the only way to appreciate a girl

Lol......you must be a LEARNER to ask such a question! Btw, give your own examples of ways to appreciate a (Nigerian) girl

Majority of those that commented before me are either not in a relationship or are still trapped in boyfriend/girlfriend syndrome.

In every serious/real relationship, there are things called filiar responsibilities. Your woman should not ask you for money before you support her. While it should not be an everyday affair, you can help her financially through projects, luxuries and investments.

She also does her part by assisting you when she suspects you are a lil broke. Can't count the number of times my woman has given me money to either fuel the car or to just hold body. Though as a man I still do more cos I believe every one naira spent on her is a big investment.

Better to give every dime to my woman than to spend it on one goodforjustsex lady outside.

She can opt for a sugar daddy if she likes.
Smh. .. Women and their nonsense wahala.

There is something you guys are missing oo. From what i see, she is truely independent and just needs the guy to prove to her that he is capable to take care of her for futures sake. She's not after his money, she's just bothered.

Jcob: Majority of those that commented before me are either not in a relationship or are still trapped in boyfriend/girlfriend syndrome.
In every serious/real relationship, there are things called filiar responsibilities. Your woman should not ask you for money before you support her. While it should not be an everyday affair, you can help her financially through projects, luxuries and investments.

She also does her part by assisting you when she suspects you are a lil broke. Can't count the number of times my woman has given me money to either fuel the car or to just hold body. Though as a man I still do more cos I believe every one naira spent on her is a big investment.

Better to give every dime to my woman than to spend it on one goodforjustsex lady outside.

But the girl in the OP message never mentioned anything monetary she has ever given to the Boyfriend