YES if they have a very supportive partner.
One person can't simply do it alone. Some do try but surely the work/life equilibrium would almost certainly be imbalance

skydeep:

She is busy woman

LOL
But her children hardly get to see her too . . .but she needs to buy uniform and pay school fees.

chaircover:


Are you saying that the fish seller who wakes up at 3am to catch the 4am danfo to badagry to buy fish, comes back home to Barracks to smoke the fish, then sells them at Iyana Iba market in the afternoon and the night market at okoko is not a career woman?

People think carrer woman and automatically think of the women holding board positions and skirt suits. . . . .

A lot of women are out there providing for their familes and many just dont have choices especially in a place like Nigeria where there is no welfare state for widows, divorcess etc

A career person is a professional person ma'am

jaybee3:


A career person is a professional person ma'am

Her career is selling fish

skydeep:

The part she will get frustrated was why I created this topic. How can that be averted?

Can it be averted? Can you ever be happy with someone that is killing your goals in life?

Imagine if your father stopped you from furthering your education in order to take care of him in his old age? You were top in ur class and always wanted to be a medical doctor. Can the frustration within you be averted especially when you have classmates who also have aged fathers and were able to agree alternative arrangements with them, but ur own father refused to work anything out and insist you must stop school as his time on earth is very limited.

How would you feel? Remember he seems to have very valid reasons.

chaircover:
I forgot to ask a very crucial question . . .

What is considered a career woman?

To me, a career woman is anyone who works . .

A woman who goes round banks selling shoes, hairdressers, fashion designers, bankers, teachers, fish sellers, nurses, social workers etc are all career women.

The emphasis is on increase in responsibility and experience within the field of work as well as increasing financial remuneration and status.

Increasing responsibility and status always bring with them unique challenges. Take for example the woman going about selling stuff as her business booms she will probably acquire a shop or two which will change the way she used to do things. Probably even have to travel to get her wares. All these must present challenges to her that were not there previously.

chaircover:


LOL
But her children hardly get to see her too . . .but she needs to buy uniform and pay school fees.

What about the husband? It is easy to spot a career woman if her husband also has a comfortable job

Maybe she tried reasoning with the man and it fell on deaf ears.
Who knows?
Is It not in this same family section that we read of various helpless women who can't get away from husbands who abuse,beat and cheat on them simply becasue they have no financial backing to stand on their feet.
At those times we blame them for agreeing to be stay home moms forgetting that if they refused to quit their jobs,we would still blame them for not being submissive to the leader of the home.

The quit-your-job-i-will-start-a-business-for-you thing doesn't work for everyone.
He may not live up to his words or even if he does,she may not know how to run a business.
So she's taking the way out she knows.

Selfish? Maybe. I don't know. But I WON'T judge her until I walk a mile in her shoes.
Who wants to live with someone who like to force their decision on them?

Ceasar1:



The woman in the background is utterly self centered. She clearly doesn't give a damn about her family. Not even for a second.

I'm not saying she should give up her Job, but her readiness to opt for a divorce speaks alot.

Spot on

Kimoni:


Can it be averted? Can you ever be happy with someone that is killing your goals in life?

Imagine if your father stopped you from furthering your education in order to take care of him in his old age? You were top in ur class and always wanted to be a medical doctor. Can the frustration within you be averted especially when you have classmates who also have aged fathers and were able to agree alternative arrangements with them, but ur own father refused to work anything out and insist you must stop school as his time on earth is very limited.

How would you feel? Remember he seems to have very valid reasons.

Kimoni:


Can it be averted? Can you ever be happy with someone that is killing your goals in life?

Imagine if your father stopped you from furthering your education in order to take care of him in his old age? You were top in ur class and always wanted to be a medical doctor. Can the frustration within you be averted especially when you have classmates who also have aged fathers and were able to agree alternative arrangements with them, but ur own father refused to work anything out and insist you must stop school as his time on earth is very limited.

How would you feel? Remember he seems to have very valid reasons.

Hmmmm

ONCE a man is ready to allow his wife or sister aspire to d top and try in helpin her get there,i think a woman get get to zenith of her career.it depends on d help men are ready to render,because once a man has d notion that 'i can never allow a woman to rule me'i do not pray that my wife gets better than me',then there is trouble for the woman folk.

Chaircover abeg educate them.
Everytime career woman this career woman that.
Shioor!
Market women stay longer outside than d so called career women. Some even sell weekends.
My mummy wakes(infact I wake up not seeing her if she is going to far away market)very early,does her things and off she goes.she prepares food at times b4 going(very early)most times she comes late. But anytime she is at home, we enjoy d most of her. So also all d women I knew of.

Career women r even lucky, they hv washing machine, can cook and pack inside freezer,so tee there is a machine for pounding yam too.

So why all these?
Abi d men dey fear that them wifeys will make it in life more than them?

Abeg make una talk true.

Women are naturally born hussler. They can juggle three to five things at d same time and still come out unscratched.

Give women a break pls.

zeb04:
Asking someone to quit their is to the extreme.

Why do we take decisions without considering the other party.is it only the woman's duty to bring joy into the family, .......weren't our mother's successful family and carrier women .

You don't ask someone to make sacrifice you know you cannot do youself and marriages don't just pack up because of someone's ambition.

We all have purposes,ambitions,goals in life and we can do that carrying everyone along.

yimu

chaircover:


Her career is selling fish

@Jaybee3 & chaircover:



I honestly got confused as to the true meaning of a "career woman" after seeing the definition from both sides. Had to even start searching for what a career means. You just never stop learning.

Most definitions describe it as the job you do after acquiring formal education and extensive training, so m wondering what they call this fish seller chaircover just described

Kimoni:


@Jaybee3 & chaircover:



I honestly got confused as to the true meaning of a "career woman" after seeing the definition from both sides. Had to even start searching for what a career means. You just never stop learning.

Most definitions describe it as the job you do after acquiring formal education and extensive training, so m wondering what they call this fish seller chaircover just described

she is a career woman
she did an apprenticeship on how to smoke the fish

Do you know that there are apprecticships for things such as selling fabric and how to repair shoes
All those girls in isale eko measuring fabric are learning how to be fabric merchants too one day


@moca, when you go to dubai, you will think that half Nigerian women have left Nigeria. These are the women running these so called "family friendly" businesses.
There are also tailors that sew express and are up all night

cococandy:
Who wants to live with someone who like to force their decision on them?

You don't have look at it that way.
You shouldn't accuse the man of playing dictatorship.

I believe he was in support when she got the job. And he was definitely happy with her being successful.

But look at what comes next;

She stops playing the role of a wife. And perhaps of a mother too. All she wants now is more success. Nothing more.

They talk. And talk.
She promise to change. And now says No.

He said, Okay quit. It's not about the money. I will get you a job less demanding. She says No, I want a divorce.

Successful women are career driven.
Once they taste sweet success, they forget the bonds around them. And only wants more.

I'm telling you; the woman in the background is self-centered and selfish.

moca:
Chaircover abeg educate them.
Everytime career woman this career woman that.
Shioor!
Market women stay longer outside than d so called career women. Some even sell weekends.
My mummy wakes(infact I wake up not seeing her if she is going to far away market)very early,does her things and off she goes.she prepares food at times b4 going(very early)most times she comes late. But anytime she is at home, we enjoy d most of her. So also all d women I knew of.

Career women r even lucky, they hv washing machine, can cook and pack inside freezer,so tee there is a machine for pounding yam too.

Do you really want to compare physical stress to mental stress?

A career woman must have gone through all sort of hoops just to climb the career ladder.

chaircover:


she is a career woman
she did an apprenticeship on how to smoke the fish

Do you know that there are apprecticships for things such as selling fabric and how to repair shoes
All those girls in isale eko measuring fabric are learning how to be fabric merchants too one day

Agree but the formal education part? Should we waive that one for them?

M still learning thou...

Kimoni:




Agree but the formal education part? Should we waive that one for them?

M still learning thou...

Where?? . . I didnt see that bit o . . .

jaybee3:

Do you really want to compare physical stress to mental stress?

A career woman must have gone through all sort of hoops just to climb the career ladder.

Both are very hard on the body.
I will rather go through the odd mental hoops to climb the career ladder than constant daily physical hoops. The fish seller is also using her brain too o! she needs to do her calculations properly or she will be out of pocket
The fact that she did not write a thesis doesnt mean that she isnt using her brain.
You see why we all cant be olympic champions

chaircover:



Where?? . . I didnt see that bit o . . .

jaybee3:

One who has been in structured employment for any given period just like a career civil servant is one that has worked all their life in civil service

What about successful entrepreneurs who have never actually worked in structured employment e.g Tara Fela durotoye,banke Meshida Funke bucknor obruthe etc etc

damiso:


What about successful entrepreneurs who have never actually worked in structured employment e.g Tara Fela durotoye,banke Meshida Funke bucknor obruthe etc etc

. . . and women running successful charities and volunteer all over the place
Some women are out there in Syria and Liberia just handing out food and medical supplies. They dont even get paid for it
Pastors wives nko?
Are they career women?

chaircover:


. . . and women running successful charities and volunteer all over the place
Some women are out there in Syria and Liberia just handing out food and medical supplies. They dont even get paid for it
Pastors wives nko?
Are they career women?

True like that lady that runs The Kids Company I can't pronounce her name let me go and google it.

@OP question yes you can depending on a lot of factors.Career woman like CC pointed out is relative.A community nurse who closes at 5 is a nurse and can also climb up the career ladder of her profession but works less hours than the nursing sister or matron at a big hospital.

I also believe though that happy families takes the efforts of all concerned(yup at a certain age even children have a say in how happy a family can be).It cant be all up to the woman.One can chase a thousand two ten thousand like the scripture says.

If she quits her job just to satisfy the husband resentment will build over time and that will still destroy the marriage . It's not a compromise when only one party is making the sacrifice. You didn't say the nature of her job or that of the husband so we can't really advice on how they can work out a plan to ensure they both spend enough time with the children. Does she work on weekends? Does he? Who closes from work earlier? Etc quiting her job isn't necessarily the problem, it could be more of a time management issue.

cococandy:
Spot on

chaircover:


Both are very hard on the body.
I will rather go through the odd mental hoops to climb the career ladder than constant daily physical hoops. The fish seller is also using her brain too o! she needs to do her calculations properly or she will be out of pocket
The fact that she did not write a thesis doesnt mean that she isnt using her brain.
You see why we all cant be olympic champions

Make i start?

jaybee3:

Make i start?

I know what you are going to do next
If you bring any weird calculation here . . . . . .

chaircover:



I know what you are going to do next
If you bring any weird calculation here . . . . . .

I wan begin quantify the amount of expected stress na

chaircover:


Are you saying that the fish seller who wakes up at 3am to catch the 4am danfo to badagry to buy fish, comes back home to Barracks to smoke the fish, then sells them at Iyana Iba market in the afternoon and the night market at okoko is not a career woman?

People think carrer woman and automatically think of the women holding board positions and wearing skirt suits. . . . .

A lot of women are out there providing for their familes and many just dont have choices especially in a place like Nigeria where there is no welfare state for widows, divorcess etc

I love your reply. Any woman who works hard to advance herself professionally/ skillfully/ commercially/ monetarily or whateverly can be considered a career woman.

But it is true that some careers are more energy intensive than others. I think happiness is too subjective to generalise but both parents need to prioritise their family over all else. Daddy's time is just as important as mummy's. Fathers are more than often sidelined and miss out on spending time with their wives and kids as they (chose to or society expects them to) bear all the financial pressures. Why are we so concerned about the wives? Career men need family time also.

skydeep:

You are missing the point. The fact that her husband asked her to quit doesn't mean she will become a housewife. Its just that the nature of her job contradicts the happiness of the family. He was planning to establish a small scale business for her.

So I heard..

Not everyone have the passion to manage businesses.

skydeep:

Yes, the topic is possible but on a slim chance

You mean it is a slim chance for a career woman to have a happy home