MojAyo:
tanx ,I've heard u,bt d problem here is dat I dnt wanna work under her cos I knw my worth and how peeps talk about,I can work elsewhere nt with her,I dnt want people seeing me coming back with a baby after 5 years in SA,in her mothers shop,sorry,I've some self respect for myself,I'm never a lazy person,bt its just dat I dnt knw d system in dis country well again

you're not ready yet.

Hi
why dont you do the same job ( plaiting and painting nails ) that you were doing in South Africa. back home in Nigeria? The type of hair is the same and the kind of nail colors will surely be the same fashion. so why dont you start from somewhere? surely you dont have to know what ever system works in Nigeria to start that!
It is all about looking at what reality is staring you in the face and dealing with it.The sooner the better.

you really cant blame your mum she is really disappointed in the setback you have brought. your mum is hurting kos as her first born you should be helping to help reduce the stress she has( considering that all your siblings stayed with your mum and not followed your dad) look at this and maybe you will understand the presence of her new man friend in her life. Instead of moping turn the situation around.Get one of your sisters to care for your baby and go and prove to your mum that it was a mistake and you are all set to make things right.
Don't sit at home wallowing in self pity, there is no time for that, your child is growing by the day and as she grows her needs become bigger and more expensive.Now is the time you can perfect any skill you need .pls make haste in doing this.
Thank God you have a free roof over your head for now .Many in your situation dont . Ignore whatever insult you get, turn a deaf ear.just strive to move forward.Make that first step and persevere God be with you as you make the right choice . it is well

[quote author=jayedu108 post=28079800]

purityme:
See am not against you and I know its not easy inn your predicament what am saying is be appreciative in whatever condition u re. She is trying her best even if its not good enough you re under her so follow her way just 4 peace to reign. So pls appreciate every little things she is doing. As a yourba gal I understnd u dnt want to pple to say rubbish about you but @ times you take that rubbish because you know what u want to achieve. Get something doing so you can stand on ur feet again and cater 4 ur baby. Dat way she will have little or nothing to quarell about.

tanx for ur advice,I think I'm gonna follow her way for peace to reign,I'm gonna start something soon,tanx

[quote author=purityme post=28080840]

[quote author=cococandy post=2808110

[quote author=toyemz post=28081511]Hi

MojAyo:
amen,tanx dear for dis comment,she also knws I'm nt a lazy person,cos I was fending for myself when I was in sa,even with my husband being irresponsible,so,what's just making me feel depressed is d fact dat she give me money and insult me over it,cos I'm never like dis,just dnt knw d system,bt I believe everything gonna be fine soon

Yes everything will be fine. I feel it's cos she set expectations for you and hoped that you would follow what she set, live up to it or even surpass it. It prolly seems to her that you disappointed her or sth . Yes your hubby isn't the type of man she expected you to marry but she should let it go. What you need now is support not criticism, she shouldn't mock you over one little thing that happened she should put herself in your shoes for a change and try to see what you're going through. She didn't forget that you worked hard in S.A she just finds it easier to accept that you are now out of work and dependent on her... I wish moms didn't have to be so difficult at times my mom criticizes me every chance she gets, if I speak up I'm difficult to talk to, if I don't speak up then she "advised" me smh.. It gets better dear, chin up and tell your baby a naira lander said hello lol

[quote author=Lepetitechic post=28082840]

thorpido:
It's so important to raise young girls right.Mothers,please spend quality time with your daughters and feed their minds. Some girls just grow up d**b.

Young lady,this abuse will continue cos you brought it upon yourself.What you have to do is get a job,no matter how little.That way,you will become less dependent on your mum and you will be able to save enough to get an accommodation of your own later.

A du.mb mother will raise du.mb girls

aisha2:
I am going to be very harsh with you
you need a reality check.

Grow up. Why is it everyones fault but yours? You want another pity party.

First of all your parents even in their lack sent you to south Africa to school, you got involved with a violent criminal, dropped out of school and he was even trying to love-vendor you out. You somehow found your way back home, oya follow your mother to the market so she can help you learn the trade and hopefully have your own shop so you can grow and fend for your child that was war.

Now you are complaining about her life choices and her life while she is feeding you and her baby, clothing you and giving you money when you still refuse to work abi follow her to the market. You are over 18, what she does for you now is not your right and yes you are disrespectful to her, all your sibblings can not be against you but instead of facing the truth humbling your self and growing up you want to return to your ex convict love-vendor of a husband, later now you will come with another whinny post.

Grow up.

The only person I pity in all this is your innocent bab

Grow up, why dont you woman up and do something good with yourself instead of running around like a headless chicken. Women have survived and are surviving under worse situations enough of this whinny everybody hates me posts. Go and apologise to your nother learn a trade and do something good with yourself. Go back to that man at your own risk

I will with this.

OP: get a grip on yourself and stop whinning.

You have made your family a laughing stock and instead of you to be grateful and your mother still put up with you, you are whinning

Your father left your mother because of her bad attitude (which you claim you see) yet same father is not willing to accommodate you. You are not even ashamed that you stay with your bad mother who will be a bad influence on your child.

Everything is everybody's fault!

I cannot work because I do not know the system of the place yada yada

I blame your mother: if she throws you out for one week, you will find work.

Grow up and make something useful out of your life.

bukatyne:


A du.mb mother will raise du.mb girls

That's true.How can we help some of these young girls?

thorpido:
That's true.How can we help some of these young girls?

Do they want to be helped?

I don't believe in kicking people when they're down. You are at your lowest point in life, your mummy should spend her energy encouraging you instead of trying to bring you down emotionally.

Let me be straight with you. At your age, your mom owes you nothing, NOTHING! You should be on your knees thanking her for even tolerating you. You have to look within and find your strength, you need to tell yourself some real truth. All your problems were created with your own hands, therefore it is your job to fix them. Not your sisters or your parents.


You have a child now, someone that depends on you, you don't have time to be worrying about your parents divorce talk less of worrying about whose fault it his; face your own troubles if you don't want your child to later grow up to blame you for his/her misfortunes the way you're blaming your mum.

You are a homeless beggar. You have no room to be choosy, your a*ss should be out on the streets doing any small job till you can get a real job tailored to your skills or work experience.
You should be ashamed of yourself forming yanga while feeding your own child from begging. Is that the example you want to lay for your child? - ***My mom is not embarrassed that she has to collect hand-out to feed me but she is embarrassed that she has to work with her mom*

With all that you've been through, you're suppose to be the biggest hustler Nigeria has ever seen. Get up off your lazy butt and start looking for a job, no matter how small.


ON A SIDE NOTE: ABORTION PPL, ABORTION!

bukatyne:


A du.mb mother will raise du.mb girls

Very True. And we do have a lot of du.mb mothers because a lot of ladies now are getting du.mber and du.mber.

bukatyne:

I will with this.
OP: get a grip on yourself and stop whinning.
You have made your family a laughing stock and instead of you to be grateful and your mother still put up with you, you are whinning
Your father left your mother because of her bad attitude (which you claim you see) yet same father is not willing to accommodate you. You are not even ashamed that you stay with your bad mother who will be a bad influence on your child.
Everything is everybody's fault!
I cannot work because I do not know the system of the place yada yada
I blame your mother: if she throws you out for one week, you will find work.
Grow up and make something useful out of your life.

Madam she has asked people like us to shut up. She just wants to hear from people who will pet her and tell her that her mother is bad. The same mother who:
1. Sent her to south Africa
2. Was still sending her money when she got pregnant and was broke. Sent her money for baby items
3. Sent her money to come back from the abusive relationship and start life over again
4. Currently feeds and shelters her, feeds and provides care for her baby

Her mothers crime:
1. Her mother became a devil when she asked her to follow her to the shop. I am sure the mother wanted her to learn the trade so she could with time get a small shop and start her own business thats how its done

2. Her father left with another woman and wont have her come and stay over yet the mother is bad for also moving on with her life despite her admitting that the mother was the one taking care of the family while daddy dearest hero hardly contributed.

So lets gather and abuse this bad mother for daring to Scold her daughter or ask her daughter to go with her to her kowly shop where people will see her and " talk" why wont mama understand she has class and doesn't know how the Nigerian system works after just 5 years " abroad" same africa

BananaBender:
ON A SIDE NOTE:[/b] ABORTION PPL, ABORTION!

Seconded

Sophyrocks:


Very True. And we do have a lot of du.mb mothers because a lot of ladies now are getting du.mber and du.mber.

LOL!

@ op u dnt knw wat u want your pride will kill u slowly

bukatyne:


LOL!

Its true. Im a lady but i gotta be honest. How else can we explain ladies of nowadays getting du.mber and du.mber? Ive read some really pathetic stories of ladies and ive come to the conclusion that most mothers hardly give coaching lessons to their daughters as regards relationships. Some of them just expect you to figure it out yourself. Can you give what you dnt have? I just read a veeeeerrrrry annoying story from a lady in a blog yesterday night. Words could not express how pissed i was even though a lot of the comments attacked the lady for being soooo du.mb.

K

Sophyrocks:


Its true. Im a lady but i gotta be honest. How else can we explain ladies of nowadays getting du.mber and du.mber? Ive read some really pathetic stories of ladies and ive come to the conclusion that most mothers hardly give coaching lessons to their daughters as regards relationships. Some of them just expect you to figure it out yourself. Can you give what you dnt have? I just read a veeeeerrrrry annoying story from a lady in a blog yesterday night. Words could not express how pissed i was even though a lot of the comments attacked the lady for being soooo du.mb.

Am sure its the story of the clown whose ex gave her std till she miscarried then married someone else now wants to spend 1 week in dubai where she works and asked her to come and have se- x with him to replace the lost baby and the silly girl is considering it because she is 28

[quote author=bukatyne post=28084461]

Not only did you use her to play ur a making a bad mother and disgracing her

MojAyo:
I think dats for ur mother,I never use my mother to play on nairaland,so pls,watch what u say

[quote author=thorpido post=28084744]

[quote author=bukatyne post=28084934]

aisha2:


Am sure its the story of the clown whose ex gave her std till she miscarried then married someone else now wants to spend 1 week in dubai where she works and asked her to come and have se- x with him to replace the lost baby and the silly girl is considering it because she is 28

Buhahahahahaha. U read Sdk!! U know that story. Chop knuckle.

brosss:
First off, welcome home to Naija.
Your mom is probably embittered cos she placed much hope and believe in you.
Its probably her own way of reacting to her disappointment.
She doesn't hate you, if she did , she'ld not accept you or provide some much needed assistance.
I don't know the circumstances surrounding ur move to SA but it seems she must have sat you down and given motherly advice. And she probably feel, u threw all that to the wind.
Now that that's explained.
1. Never accept that your little bundle of Joy was a mistake. No! Else you'll fall into the trap of despising or hating your baby. Give that baby all the love He/she needs, be very proud of your child.
2. Talk to your Mum. Apologize to her for not making her proud. Tell her you are sorry. She is pretty hurt cos she trusted u to deliver. Remember u are more hurt by those close to you. Ask her to give u another chance. Tell her u are her own baby and she's all u'v got.
3. Get busy in the house. Don't Just put on AM or MTV in the mornings, lazying about. Sweep, do the dishes, laundry. Make her Lazy. Let her know that u are back. Watch tv only when there's no chores to do.
4. Tell ur siblings how much u'v missed them. And no matter how they ridicule you. Stand up for them and take their sides against any outsider, soon, you'll win them to your camp.
5. Get a Job. However how menial, get something, a teacher at the daycare or something, cleaner, anything. Get outer the house and buy something while coming back.
6. Try and get intouch with ur dad. But on no account should u let them know u are searching for him.

Soon enough, they'll forgive you and integrate you again.


Pray.......it is well sis.

dis a very gud & kind advice pls op try & use it very well as 4 phema sincerely I dont like ur harsh comments it could b anyone so pls try nt 2 judge harshly even though I knw u r legally married

Stop decieving your sef he is not your husband. It pains me that you still have hope upon all u went thru. So u can stay with any man even a criminal. U re that desperate for greener pasture as u stated. O ga ooo orishirishi. Pele ti ooo he luvs your gaskiya. Na romeo and juliet luv ooo hold on to him tight. Iru iro ni iboru

MojAyo:
yeah,my baby is my top priority,tanx for ur care and concern about me,the thing is I tried to move on with my life frm him,bt he sometimes called me,he love me,dat he ve changed for d better,dat he is working now,bt since he is working,he suppose to be sending something for d babys care,bt I think he want to be stable with himself first,I can stay with a man in any situation,especially him,except if he continue to be abusive towards me,and I did nt see any changeness in him,firstly,I no dey call him mama again,bt me nd him do talk on phone becos of my baby,I'm still thinking of leaving him or not,no man is ready to settle for a after one,u knw what I mean

Sophyrocks:

Buhahahahahaha. U read Sdk!! U know that story. Chop knuckle.

I almost tore my clothes off in frustration

[quote author=BananaBender post=28084945]

aisha2:


I almost tore my clothes off in frustration

Tufia!! How can a human be that du.mb? Haba!!