Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

O di egwu.. Children of nowadays, you don't how to go around and come around them. They always do that thing that is in their mind discrediting the people that raised them.
I think it's that fragile stage that she is in, you have to do the ones you know that are good for directing her in the right direction, don't play by her rules because of her diary because soon enough her write up in her diary will change to that of a maturing young lady who understands the reason why she was chastised while growing up. I understand how you feel about it, u avoid pushing her far but at the same time, maybe your mom should stop flogging her, it makes them more adamant at that age. Just always draw her close to you, make her feel you are always there to protect her. Don't grow weary. She will gradually transit into the person we hope her to be. God bless your family






FTC
CHOCOLATE CREAM

Op, I think u should dread d day she will run away from home...


Please never allow that to ever come to pass...


U people should just let her be.. let her paint.. just let her be...

Unless she may be like my sis who ran away from home for 2months!

I also have a 14yr old sister, I left the country when she was 10. We used to be very tight, when I came back I noticed she is always having issues with my mom about what to wear, my mom is the over protective type, even me that's an adult she still treats me as a kid.

What I did was to create a very very tight bond with my lil sis, we are so tight she tells me everything.

From what you have said, it appears to me ur kid sis is by herself, big bro is not around, u are not around, mom has to work, Dad probably don't relate well with her. So create a tight bond with ur sister. It may be difficult because of ur job, get her phone and call her every day, talk with her, let her know she is ur person and stop treating her like a 5yr old u guys can push around else u will end up pushing her away.

Continue to have a heart to heart talk with her ... and also add prayers.

dawnomike:
Continue to have a heart to heart talk with her ... and also add prayers.

havin a heart to heart talk won't solve anythn.. see, she wil talk and tire.. notn.. that girl just wants to get exposed dats all. She feels like she is being trapped.. she can't see her frnds paintin nails na and b d odd one out..

Besides I dnt see anythn wrong in paintin nails..

donbenedict:
havin a heart to heart talk won't solve anythn.. see, she wil talk and tire.. notn.. that girl just wants to get exposed dats all. She feels like she is being trapped.. she can't see her frnds paintin nails na and b d odd one out..

Besides I dnt see anythn wrong in paintin nails..

There is everything wrong in painting her nails, wanted to take my lil sis out once, and she went and put lip gloss on, although there was nothing wrong with it, but I had her clean it up nicely " Lolo (her nickname) do u think the lip gloss is necessary?" she got the message that I don't approve of it and she wiped it off. It's all about how u relate with them.

things are easier when farmily pray togather. use the sctipture togather and show examples.

I don't think a 14year old is too old to be spanked although I m not an advocate of beating but sometimes it does reset the brain to default, ejecting all that stuff that is making her disobey her parents.

She should be able to listen to simple instructions, its not too much to ask her not to paint her nails, its not too much to ask her to help your mum.

Continue talking to her and she should please discard that boyfriend before something happens. A lot of times when these small girls begin to have boyfriends they lose respect for those in authority. She should not give her elderly parents HBP.

Times have changed sha. I have noticed this trend, a lot of children born 2000 upward seem to be quite disobedient, some parents are having a tough time with these kids, listen to simple instructions they wont.

martyns303:


There is everything wrong in painting her nails, wanted to take my lil sis out once, and she went and put lip gloss on, although there was nothing wrong with it, but I had her clean it up nicely " Lolo (her nickname) do u think the lip gloss is necessary?" she got the message that I don't approve of it and she wiped it off. It's all about how u relate with them.

dats a nice way of correcting.. not beating a girl because she is wearin lip gloss, dang! She will continously do it over again.. I like ur approach towards Dat.. it's very very goood.

yetseyi:
I don't think a 14year old is too old to be spanked although I m not an advocate of beating but sometimes it does reset the brain to default, ejecting all that stuff that is making her disobey her parents.

She should be able to listen to simple instructions, its not too much to ask her not to paint her nails, its not too much to ask her to help your mum.

Continue talking to her and she should please discard that boyfriend before something happens. A lot of times when these small girls begin to have boyfriends they lose respect for those in authority. She should not give her elderly parents HBP.

Times have changed sha. I have noticed this trend, a lot of children born 2000 upward seem to be quite disobedient, some parents are having a tough time with these kids, listen to simple instructions they wont.

let us blame modernization... they feel u are an old cargo..

donbenedict:
let us blame modernization... they feel u are an old cargo..

modernization? hmm okay oo.

14yrs old girl? no surprises though. Boyfriend issue( Already blaming her bf for not giving her money mentality at an early age SMH) she hates parents because they correct her, wants to paint nail, paint face, wear skimpy dress, nothing new. How you all handle it is the major problem because the rate at which teenage girls are going about 30% of them might get pregnant before age 20. May God give you the grace to handle the issue @op

martyns303:


There is everything wrong in painting her nails, wanted to take my lil sis out once, and she went and put lip gloss on, although there was nothing wrong with it, but I had her clean it up nicely " Lolo (her nickname) do u think the lip gloss is necessary?" she got the message that I don't approve of it and she wiped it off. It's all about how u relate with them.

.

Thanks dear...I will try use your approach. I need to get my sister very close to me.

bennyrazz:
14yrs old girl? no surprises though. Boyfriend issue( Already blaming her bf for not giving her money mentality at an early age SMH) she hates parents because they correct her, wants to paint nail, paint face, wear skimpy dress, nothing new. How you all handle it is the major problem because the rate at which teenage girls are going about 30% of them might get pregnant before age 20. May God give you the grace to handle the issue @op

Amen...thanks for your prayer

you sister doesn't really like what she is doing, believe me. When she was about to join a religious group that would channel her the way you would have wanted her to be, you and your family refused. Now she is into those things you hate.

She is angry because, you give her theory, what you are telling her is not in harmony with reality, and you paint yourself as the good and accepted one whereas she is the bad type.

There is a lot you are yet to know about your sister, and untill you know her, you can't solve this problem. I work with teens and I can handle them. You are yet to hear from her why does what she is doing. Get to the root first.

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

Have you dealt with her yet?

She‘s a kid and doesnt know what fire is until she touches it,a single mother in training is what she is

All i see here is bad friends,also bad tv shows and the worst of all no protection.....

Go to the root of the mara,HER FRIENDS,make her discard them and stop giving her money

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

I think the matter is settled already. How?

When you reach home, take her out to an eatry or any private place where the two of you can be alone and relaxed.


Then tell her the story of how you kept a diary when you were her age and tell her about the naughty things you wrote in your diary.

Tell her you thought your parents didn't like you because of the way they disciplined you.

Tell the story in the most relaxed and off-handed manner possible; nothing rigid, nothing scary. I really hope you are a good story teller.

Purpose of your story is to let her know that you know how she feels, that you have been there before and to let her realize that the punishments and corrections she is receiving are for her own good.

I Dont know the level of friendship between the two of you presently, but I think you should make friends with her more.

Some peeps here adviced that you should let her be, but i think this is wrong. You and your parents have responsibility over her and you must not fail in this responsibility for the bogus fear of your sister leaving home.

Then I think your serving brother should be closer to her too. She may find it easy to play, talk and befriend your brother more than you.

Pele @ OP you are a peer educator like u said,

I think you are doing the right thing.





ThefakeStan

Advice and prayer is really all you can do.. This is a really difficult time to raise kids because of the disastrouslly high rate of exposure.
May some divine assitance come your way

Teenagers are the toughest bunch to handle..I hope she realizes the worth of her parents before it's too late...She should go ask peeps who lack parents..

She will grow up eventually. . There's nothing like self improvement. Try & connect her with friends dat ve +ve attitudes(she will easily gt influnced); enrol her in a church group, snce she likes church activities; kip talking or spanking.wch ever dat works 4 her. & above all, prayers..... We all want d best 4 our loved ones, but we can't live their lives 4 dem. Each go beta.

Dear OP, I read your entire post and I figured that some things are quite negligible while some others could be greater than anyone thinks. Your sister is at the edge of a cliff... How people around her react will determine if she will fall or not. I was a little harsh with my sister and she ran to friends for solace with some undesirable consequences. You need expert advice from Educators and child psychologists. Pls SUMMARISE this post and repost it on www./SchoolFinders and you'll be glad at the professional and mature advice you'll get.

Gbam! Future olosho!

Woh

.
#front_page_makes_me_feel_horny

Hmmm

lol