HumbledbYGrace:
Don't ever look down on someone unless your going to help them

my comment suggests nothing of such.
I'm sure chastising her but never looking down.The other part of my comments sure shows what I want her to do.

[quote author=HumbledbYGrace post=28070132]quote

crackhaus:
Thanks for the response aisha2.

So after reading that, I'm still wondering miss MojAyo - if you had a job while in SA before the abuse started, why didn't you try to get it back or get a new job without returning to Nigeria?

What I'm getting at is this:
You should think about returning to SA if that's the system you are used to, according to this bit from one of your comments...



Also what are your qualifications and why haven't you used it in getting a job in Nigeria yet?

The power is in your hands and self-pity will get you nowhere.
All you need is a job at the moment and possibly a way to get back to SA if you so wish, that's if your immigration status/eligibility hasn't been compromised.

will knw what to do,tanx

thorpido:
my comment suggests nothing of such.
I'm sure chastising her but never looking down.The other part of my comments sure shows what I want her to do.

anyway,tanx,its becos of love dat make u to comment,I appreciate

MarvellousGod:
You are getting all those insults because they're feeding you and your baby, you're still dependent on them... Try and find something doing no matter how small, so you can atleast start fending for yourself and your baby, gradually you can then find a house and move out. ..
what about the father of your baby?


Really don't know why a mother can't stand by her daughter during hard/trying times, too bad....as for your siblings,

it's well sis, just try and do things that make you happy... just know your happiness isn't tied to anybody, this is only but a stage, you will still tell the story. ...

Goodluck

amen

K

MojAyo:
tanx ,I've heard u,bt d problem here is dat I dnt wanna work under her cos I knw my worth and how peeps talk about,I can work elsewhere nt with her,I dnt want people seeing me coming back with a baby after 5 years in SA,in her mothers shop,sorry,I've some self respect for myself,I'm never a lazy person,bt its just dat I dnt knw d system in dis country well again

Am sorry but you are not serious
Oya go back to your love-vendor since you are too proud to go and work with your mother but not too proud yo collect her hard earned money

MojAyo:
anyway,tanx,its becos of love dat make u to comment,I appreciate

Nothing but love my sister.You have a challenging situation at hand but it's what many have been through and you can do too and smile at the end.
The most important thing as many have said is that you get a job.Have something doing that brings an income.That way,you will be less dependent and your mum and siblings will have less cause to insult you.
While you say with them,just numb your mind to the insults.

MojAyo:
Pls peeps,I feel vry bad about my situation,I feel I'm d only one in dis kind of situation,bt its nt like dat,many woman go through dis ,bt I think mine is getting too much,since I came back frm SA,I ve been an object of ridicule to my mum and siblings,mum talked vry bad about me and ridicule me dat I ve a baby for n irresponsible person,dat she is d one taking care of both me and d baby,my siblings also ridicule me,say all sorts of bad things to me,which my mum will give them d go on, I'm so tired of staying with them,dat I feel like moving out of their house,I'm in tears as I'm writing dis,I prayed my life should nt be complicated,before I went to SA,my parents were staying together bt when I went to SA,they got separated,which my dad said he can't tolerate my mums attitude,which I can see for myself its nt vry good,I'm just living with them becos I dnt ve anywhere to go

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I feel you're going through this because you're still dependent on your mom. I can relate. Maybe it's the getting old thing but my mom is like that some times. She doesn't feel like my fiance and I can make it cos of distance and we're young so it's like every time she opens her mouth to say sth about us it seems like she is mocking us. My dear stay strong and try to stand on your own feet it helps when you are able to take care of yourself as well as your kid. Try finding a job and then a house go from there. God be with you

Mojayo u re not serious at all, u can't help ur mother with what she is doing and u can't get a job u feel befits u, u re shouting I dnt understand dis country abeg no be 4 naija dey born you. Abi u ve been in SA all ur life u spent just 5yrs and u re acting lyk omo onile, u dnt even appreciate d little ur mum is doing 4 u. She feeds you and ur baby, give ur a roof yet u can support her biz. Get a business u re talking about ur class and respect well u re still enjoying now. I just pity dat innocent baby. So u still want to go back to dat criminal. Ve u forgotten all ur with thru b4. U still ve not learn a lesson. So u want a man to be catering 4 u. Hmmmm. Orishirishi. Ur parent re seperated so ur mum has every right to start a new life. Shebi ur father now has a wife. Am sure is d way u lazy around and insult ur mother that's y ur siblings re disrepecting u, better get something doing u re a school cert. Get a menial job 4 d main time. U dey do shakara.

Aisha2 leave her jare she never learn ni upon all he did to her she still talk abt going back

aisha2:


Am sorry but you are not serious
Oya go back to your love-vendor since you are too proud to go and work with your mother but not too proud yo collect her hard earned money

Hahahaha.

You are here talking down on your mom like you are any better? She's feeding you and your baby, after wasting her money on your fruitless SA trip. I say, you have a good mother!

Not sure my momma would be that kind.

Young lady, stop complaining, finding faults, judging your mom cos u are not in a position to. Meanwhile, you are too proud and holy to get your hands dirty in your mom's shop?

Lucky you, I say. wait for NLders to help you, don't help yourself, shotigbo?

MojAyo:
I just ve to pretend I dnt see what's going on in d house,cos I hate dis kind of shit,I'm just persevering for the main time

Seriously you are not serious. Judge and Jury over the mother who accepted you back home warts and all. Abeg do and leave her house so the woman can breathe. You spent only 5 years in south Africa nobody go hear word chai. # I dont know how thw system here works# same system you have spent almost 18 years or more in oh.

Poor woman will go to her shop all day hustle come and give you baby money and food while you are too oyiboish to go to her lowly shop then come home and face judgement from you how exactly are you the victim jere?

Please go back to your pi- mp you too deserve each other

My dear,I will never condemn you neither will I judge you cos am only human and we all make mistakes.

Now is the time to rise up ,dust your self up and believe you are not worthless,start from somewhere,pick up a job,get ur self busy and stop wallowing in self pity.going back to SA is not really a wise decision for now,get busy and pray for God's direction.

Your story is so similar to my cousin's story. Firstly i'll use this medium to warn all ladies living abroad to be very careful with men abroad, the men abroad are 80% worse than men in our home based country,coupled with the fact that we cannot do a proper back ground checking, the men abroad are more dangerous, liars and polygamist. The only difference is my cousin looked for something doing to support herself and she got all the love and support from her parents, siblings and extended families. Sometimes we can't blame ourselves for falling into wrong hands, how do u know if some1 is lying, but Moyo's case he was abusive and u went ahead, you are just the type that doesn't learn from your mistakes. Any little money you can get start a petty business or look for a job, stop ranting that you don't understand nigeria's system, my cousin was in d UK for 6yrs and she came back home,she is doing well.

MojAyo:
dear,I want to work,bt I dnt knw d system of d country,my father of my baby did nt ve much money and is nt here in d country,I'm d only one here,she dnt want to see me in dis trying times of my life,she use my situation to insult me,saying I never get wedded before I ve a baby,dat everybody else child re doing wedding dat she regret making me d first born,even while she is insulting me,my siblings will also put mouth,I want to move out bt becos of my baby sake,I hate d fact dat my mums man friend put mouth in my matter

i am in same shoes as u and mine is a bit complicated dan urs.av learnt to b patient nd ignore wateva my mum does.i blive i wunt live wit her forever.its just a matter of time.

b determined nd focus more on trying any skill that could b of help to u later. it is well

aisha2:


Am sorry but you are not serious
Oya go back to your love-vendor since you are too proud to go and work with your mother but not too proud yo collect her hard earned money

Is this constructive? Really?

Going back to the guy will not solve anything, we all know that. She is not being proud, ask anyone who has left her home and lived outside the country how it is like. To endure the stares of those who knew u were once living large aint easy.

@ Op, all I can say is, you can follow your mother wherever only if she wants you to.

I can't imagine following her even if she was my mother if she would be embarassing me in public making me the joke of the town.

Hold up, OP.....

Under no circumstance will you come back to South Africa for that guy......you left because it wasn't working out for you so please save yourself from an early grave, get your act together before coming back.

[quote author=ephee post=28078677]

i

[quote author=aisha2 post=28076478]

k

@op u are the cause of ur problem,u travel to SA to fool around,came bck like a prodigal child,and u expect ur mum to be happy,u deserve no pity,no mercy,go out dey and hussle so u can regain ur lost respect cos if ur mum still feed u and ur baby then knw that she will continue to see u as a pest to her.

[qu

MojAyo:
I think dis is too harsh frm u,who told u I dnt want to work,pls if u dnt ve anything good to contribute to my thread,dnt comment pls,who told u I'm doing shakara,I've my own policy likewise everybody

Park well u aint got policy,u are just too proud,ur type sit at home all day watching MTV,AFRiCA MAGiC,e.t.c u get luck hw I wish ur mum is nt taking care of ur responsibility if hunger wire u,no be person go tell u make u enta street,u still dey enjoy mama small change I blame ur mum nt u.

Madam I know you ve policy dats y you can't help your mother and u re miss perfect. Abeggi spare me if you like wrk if u like no wrk na you get ur life shikena.

MojAyo:
I think dis is too harsh frm u,who told u I dnt want to work,pls if u dnt ve anything good to contribute to my thread,dnt comment pls,who told u I'm doing shakara,I've my own policy likewise everybody

Warfi man say any Dog wey dey wait patiently instead of hussling na hunger go tell am

MojAyo:
tanx for ur advice,I feel good dat I'm nt alone in dis,yeah I'm gonna learn some skills,seriouslyzni just ve to d patience,the patient dog eat the fattest bone

[quote author=Lepetitechic post=28074209]

[quote author=thorpido post=280727

Everybody,tanx for ur comments,all help in some ways,even d good ones and d bad ones,I will let u people knw one thing,I love my mother more than anything,I dnt hate her at all,bt sometimes,I got so emotional dat I carried every bit of what she said in my head,she has been so loving and caring to me,bt I still hate d fact dat she is nt with my dad again,I just need to look past that,and focus on my life,I believe its gonna be well with me,about my husband,we may get married or not,only based on his character,if he change

[quote author=purityme post=28080031

[quote author=purityme post=28079961]

See am not against you and I know its not easy inn your predicament what am saying is be appreciative in whatever condition u re. She is trying her best even if its not good enough you re under her so follow her way just 4 peace to reign. So pls appreciate every little things she is doing. As a yourba gal I understnd u dnt want to pple to say rubbish about you but @ times you take that rubbish because you know what u want to achieve. Get something doing so you can stand on ur feet again and cater 4 ur baby. Dat way she will have little or nothing to quarell about.

MojAyo:
I never beg u to comment all dis thread,and for ur information,I'm nt a proud person,I do all her washings frm A to Z,I never feel big dat I can't wash her clothes,bt where they knw me before I leave d country,I dnt want peeps to start saying jargons about me,dats why I said,I want to work,bt nt under her

And for your baby daddy pls dnt go back to an abusive relationship. U re lucking u came out on scatch nw. You may not be lucky next tym. 4get about him 4 now and force on your life. Don't hate your mum 4 leaving your dad no woman will wish to just end her marriage just like dat she may be passing thru things she can't share with you so leave it that way and move on. You can't change a man you can only pray 4 him. U re not married to him yet so u can still find some one who will luv and appreciate you. Your baby should be your top priority now.