https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eJkNpNOxeg

Title: ENGLISH LETTER

Akpos is a varsity student. The Lecturer ordered him to write an apology letter showing why...http://laugh247ng..in/2015/10/english-letter.html

Title: BILLIONAIRE

A teacher asked her class what they would love to be when they grow up.
Musa answers, ''I want to be a billionaire, have the cutest wife, make her feel like a woman, give her everything she needs..http://laugh247ng..in/2015/10/billionaire.html

Title: Garri Bag

Akpos goes up to the Cotonou border on his bicycle. He had over his shoulders two large bags.
The Customs Officer stopped him and asked, "What is inside the bags?"
"Garri", Akpos replied.
The Customs Officer said, "Let me see. Come down from the bicycle."
The Customs Officer took the bags and ripped them apart. He emptied them out and found nothing in them but garri.
He detained Akpos overnight and had the garri analysed, only to discover that there was nothing but..http://laugh247ng..in/2015/10/garri-bag.html

Title: Native Doctor

UNCLE: Ah ah! Akpors long time! How are you doing?
AKPORS: Am ok thank you. I came looking for admission to realize my dream of becoming a doctor! and with your help sir, I believe I won't have any difficulty.
UNCLE: I see, how was ur O'level?
AKPORS: Fine O! 2 credits Sir..http://laugh247ng..in/2015/10/native-doctor.html

Title: blind boy

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up..http://laugh247ng..in/2015/10/blind-boy.html

Title: THE BEST MAGIC

I believe the best magic is neither in Merlin's nor Harry Potter's hands...
I was going out one fateful day and I needed some money to buy some stuffs urgently! I asked my mum for money. Although she's been giving me various excuses, she didn't hesitate this time, instead she brought out the money. I counted it and it was N35,000! I was very happy.
I showed off the newly wrapped notes, especially to my best friend. He asked me to lend him some amount of money promising to return it the next day. I refused to give him lying to him that it was for my school fees. He was annoyed but had no choice.
Whilst counting the money, my crush, a beautiful light skin girl, walked up to me asking me..http://laugh247ng..in/2015/10/the-best-magic.html

Bad Mood

Akpos sat in a bar and was very moody? Soni goes over and asks: Akpos, wetin happen..http://laugh247ng..in/2015/10/bad-mood.html

Akpos why didn't you study?

TEACHER: Why didn't you study?
AKPOS: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days..http://laugh247ng..in/2015/10/akpos-why-didnt-you-study.html

Pals. Check out some Hilarious screenshots from Nigerians Vs Kenyans twitter yabbing competition @ http://www.medianehd.com . We Nigerians wicked for yabbing sha!! Loool

OMG Did Rick Loss get a slap at the pool party?? Confused see the action yesterday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo8KE6Ht0Nw

TITLE: LETTER OF LEAVING SCHOOL

Daer Sir
I'm writter this letter with haters and tell you that I'm leave your school for good enough.
The why of the leave it is because...http://laugh247ng..in/2015/12/letter-of-leaving-school.html

SIX SENSE

A young boy met a very rich businessman and asked him, "Sir, what is the secret of your success?"
The businessman replied, "Boy, you have to use your number 6 in 6 ways."
The boy was so surprised and asked him, "Sir, how in 6 ways?"
He further replied, "I only do business 6 times in a year,
1. I sell bags of rice during d Christmas season.
2. I sell children clothes during children's day celebration,
3. I sell poultry during the Easter celebration period.
4. I sell condoms on valentine day.
5. I sell Indian hemp on Bob Marley's remembrance day.
"So, you see why I am successful?"
The boy asked, "Sir, you did not tell me the 6th way."
He then smiled and said, "I go on VACATION."
The boy asked, "VACATION? To where?"
The man replied, "Yes, I normally go on vacation to jail...http://laugh247ng..in/2015/12/six-sense.html

Types of Salaries

These are the names of different salaries...
1. Onion Salary – You grab it, you open it, and you cry.
2. Storm Salary – You don’t know when it’s coming or going.
3. Menstrual Salary – It comes once a month and lasts only four days.
4. Magic Salary – You touch it and it disappears.
5. Amnesia Salary – You can’t remember what you spent it on.
6. Time Traveling Salary – You spend it paying various debts even before you collect it..
Which one have you ever experienced?http://laugh247ng..com/2015/12/the-dirty-clothes.html

Akpos got a message from his girl friend on his Bday "Message Reads" HBD Boo...LLNP,LYSMTTYL"...
Akpos:So provoked and called her phone"
Kate wat is meaning of HBD LLNP and Those rubbish...
Kate replied:Haaa! O Akpos dnt tell ♍ξ u are dis dumb and local,Oh My Gooosh;, u dnt even know the meaning of HBD and all dat Mtchwwww. Well, HBD Means "Happy Birthday", LLNP means "Long Life and Prosperity" LYSM means "Love You So Much" and; TTYL means "Talk To You Later" dumb ass.
Akpos : ( angrily ends the call and sent her a text message 2mins later, *message reads* TFY...
Kate called immediately, AKpos wat is the meaning of TFY?
Akpos answered Oh u don't even know common TFY =D=D=D After much laugh Akpos replied TFY means "Thunder Fire You.
Who is more intelligent out of Akpos and Girlfriend?..http://laugh247ng..in/2016/01/on-birthday.html

Akpos’ pastor added him on facebook and he
innocently accepted.
Two minutes later his message came in:
Pastor: How are you?
Akpos: I’m fine daddy.
Pastor: May the building of heavenly favour
collapse on your head
Akpos: (no reply)
Pastor: May the thunder of Blessing strike you
and your family.
Akpos: (no reply)
Pastor: May God slash you with the axe of life
Akpos: (no reply)
Pastor: May God stab you with the knife of
riches
Akpos: (no reply)
Pastor: May you be sentenced to life
imprisonment in the eternal jail of success
Akpos: (no reply)
Pastor: May the World Trade Centre of
happiness
collapse on you and your family
Akpos (no reply)
Pastor: Are you there?
Akpos: Yes daddy
Pastor: You should be saying amen to claim the
Blessings.
Akpos: Ok, May the over-speeding trailer of
blessings jam and crush you and your family.
May the earthquake of happiness swallow you
and your family members. May the sea of
miracles drown you and your family members in
Jesus’ name.
Pastor: (no reply)
Akpos: Daddy you should be saying ‘Amen’ to
claim these prayers
Pastor: May thunder fire you! Idiot! http://laugh247ng..in/2016/01/on-birthday.html

VOTE OF THANKS


During a wedding reception, the groom was called upon to give his vote of thanks to his guests and this is what
he came up with:
1. I want to first of all thank the Lord Almighty for creating my wife and to also thank the pastor and his wife for lending us their wedding rings...http://laugh247ng..com/2016/01/vote-of-thanks.html

Baptism of Beer

After dipping AKPOS three times in water, Father Peter then said to him, "You are now a new creation so your name is no longer AKPOS but Paul. From now onwards, no drinking alcohol!"
When he got home, AKPOS now Paul dipped his Beer Bottle in water three times and then said, "From now on your name is now Water"

Inside and Outside
Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to Mr Outside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said , "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside.
Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside.
Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.

africa king



Years ago, an African King was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets President Bill Clinton.
The instructor told the African King, "When you shake hands with President Clinton, please say, 'How are you?' then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say, 'me too'. Afterwards, we translators will do the work for you."
When the African King met Clinton, he mistakenly said, "Who are you?" (Instead of "How are you?).
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked, but still managed to react, "Well, I'm Hillary's husband."
Then the African King replied, "Me too."

Just can't believe what my eyes saw yesterday evening. A Motorcyclist knocked a girl down, we all rushed to help her. While she was on the floor helplessly, with serious injuries to her body, she was shouting, "My phone! My phone!!"
We thought she wanted to call her family, so we gave her her phone.
Immediately, she stood up after she collected the phone, took a selfie of herself, log into Facebook and uploaded the picture with the caption...
"JUST HAD AN ACCIDENT, FAINTING THINGS ON MY MIND!"
She logged out and fainted immediately!
jokeafrica..com

A Nigerian couple living in the U.S.A unable to have children decided to adopt, they talked to the management and agreed to adopt a three months old Chinese baby.
On the way back home, they signed up for Chinese lessons at a nearby institution. The secretary asked in a friendly way, "Are you guys planning to go to China?"
The Husband answered," No oh! We are adopting a Chinese boy."
"Oh," she continued, "I guess you don't understand a word he says!"
The Wife jumped in, "You see, we are very clever, he hasn't started talking yet, he's only three months old, so we are taking these lessons so that when he starts talking, we will be able to understand him."

Missing Eclipse


Today news headlines on MISSING ECLIPSE

1. Missing eclipse: PDP calls for Buhari’s resignation

2. The past Administration is responsible for the missing eclipse, Lai Mohammed

3. EFCC traces missing eclipse to ex governor account.

4. Eclipse is not acceptable in Ekiti state, Governor Fayose

5. Missing Eclipse: Another move to Islamise Nigeria, Fani Kayode

6. CAN sends strong warning to presidency over missing eclipse

7. We are responsible for the missing eclipse- Niger Delta Avengers

8. Release our captured members and we will release the eclipse, Boko Haram tells Nigerian Army.

9. Government does not have constitutional right to withhold eclipse - Lawyers

10. Missing eclipse affected our performance at the Olympic games - sports Minister

11. Four arrest have been made over missing eclipse - Police

12. Presidency will not probe the missing eclipse - Adesina

13. Nigerians will experience monthly eclipse if we are voted in 2019- PDP

14. Sheriff and Markafi faction disagrees over missing eclipse

15. Dogara padded the missing eclipse in the budget - Jubrin

16. We left about 58 eclipse in the federation account, Okonjo Iweala replies APC

17. Missing Eclipse: I will speak at the appropriate time - Jonathan

18. PDP looted the eclipse for 16 years - Oshiomhole

19. We will borrow more eclipse to fill the gap- Finance Minister

20, The Eclipse is inconclusive - INEC

Hahaha, it reminds me back in my days when a friend of mine secured a loan on my behalf with one condition, I was to return the loan with agreed amount of interest, in two weeks time her daughter was having a birthday and I managed to be one of the guests, we sang, ate and drunk, only to realize late night her wife was staring at me with suggestive eyes. I hesitated a bit only to realize we were only two of us, then the wife asked whether was interested sleeping with her in exchange for www.jokeafrica..com

The Stolen Goat

Kunle stole a goat, he was arrested and taken to court.
JUDGE: Gentleman, are you guilty or not guilty?
KUNLE: My Lord, I’m not guilty.
JUDGE: How come you were arrested and brought before the court for stealing a goat?
KUNLE: My Lord, I was just passing by Mr. Darlington's house and I saw a very big rope tied to a tree. I said to myself, "maybe the tree is trying to commit suicide," so I rescued the tree and took the rope home. My Lord… I swear I didn’t realise there was a goat tied to the rope until now!
The Judge freed Kunle.

Watch the latest, funniest Comedy skit in town on YouTube... Click the link below and don't laugh alone share with f&f.. Also don't 4get to SUBSCRIBE!!!.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF0YHj02IcdB3s9Ocl6AaWQ

I wonder what kind of baptism we go call this one now, this laughing Gas Comedy people self...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJ5-mN41pxA

Pa. James the Keke Driver (funny)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9-ZX4SvsZo

Can you imagine what was done to him in Lagos?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0SMiKehpyU

Akpos went to an electronic store, he asked
the storekeeper "what is the price of this TV?"
The storekeeper answered "we don't sell our
products to Akpos." Akpos again came next
day by cutting his beard and asked "what is
the price of this TV?" The storekeeper replied
"we don't sell our products to Akpos". The
next day Akpos came with a different face
and asked "what is the price of this TV?" The
shopkeeper replied "we don't sell our
products to Akpos." Finally Akpos got irritated
and asked the shopkeeper "how do you
recognise me every time?" The storekeeper
replied "because this is not a TV it is
Microwave Oven!"
jokeafrica..com

The following conversation ensued between Akpos and his son:
​Son: Daddy who is an idiot?
Akpos: an idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a way that another person who is listening can’t understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No!
jokeafrica..com