Osisi good points but the truth is are American man any more civilized than Nigerian men?
You think if given the opportunity many would not rather their wives just disappeared than having to pay hefty monthly alimony?

a woman is expected to shut up and put up - the same society says a man is financially responsible for his home and extended family . . . i dont hear women complaining about this.

where she could be sent away penniless from her matrimonial home for not having a male child
or have a second wife brought in esp in Muslim cultures,whether she likes it or not
a man could abandon his wife and kids and nothing happens
she could be beaten up and maimed by her husband and nothing happens - If we enforced our laws this shld never happen.


here on this forum,you remeber the statement made by several males when they found out I was female.
That is the mindset of an average Nigerian male - mindset is not the issue . . . here in the states too u'll easily find men who would have reacted the same way.

davidylan:

I have not denied it, i have simply asked a question - is this a societal problem or a failure of the justice system?

Both.
Our culture basically is anti-woman and pro-man
haven't you heard things like

"doesn't she know she is a woman"?
"how dare this woman do blah blah blah" ?
"and she's even a woman"

that's the  general mindset.

Osisi, again true . . .

but is the nigerian man radically different from the Japanese male or Syrian male or the English male? The difference is in Europe they have laws that strongly prohibit discrimination against women and that has slowly forced their society to evolve.

100yrs ago women could not vote in this supposed egalitarian society . . .
America just decorated her first 4 star female General

Discrimination against women is entrenched in every society. We are simply lucky to be born in an era where the world has radically changed. You are lucky to live in a society where laws matter . . .

I tols him that they go hand in hand, osis

osisi*:

here on this forum,you remeber the statement made by several males when they found out I was female.
That is the mindset of an average Nigerian male

what happened?

davidylan:

Osisi good points but the truth is are American man any more civilized than Nigerian men?
You think if given the opportunity many would not rather their wives just disappeared than having to pay hefty monthly alimony?

[

To the highlighted part,I say a resounding yes not because we are incapable of civilization but because we are a product of our society.They think differently.If you know any Nigerian woman who has been married to a Nigerian then to a white guy,ask her.
And when you see Nigerian males married or dating western women they are totally different compared to those married to their fellow Nigerians because they are forced to comply with what is acceptable to a westerner.

my dear women also pay alimony when they earn more than their husbands.
Americal laws are fair

And when you see Nigerian males married or dating western women they are totally different compared to those married to their fellow Nigerians because they are forced to comply with what is acceptable to a westerner.

my dear women also pay alimony when they earn more than their husbands.
Americal laws are fair

*true true.

to the last sentence, Jessica simpson is the one paying alimony to her ex.

But Osisi your husband is a conc Nigerian right?

Does he find you strong willed?

osisi*:

To the highlighted part,I say a resounding yes not because we are incapable of civilization but because we are a product of our society.They think differently.If you know any Nigerian woman who has been married to a Nigerian then to a white guy,ask her.
And when you see Nigerian males married or dating western women they are totally different compared to those married to their fellow Nigerians because they are forced to comply with what is acceptable to a westerner.

sometimes living abroad makes us mental slaves to white culture and we dont even know it.

KarmaMod:

I tols him that they go hand in hand, osis

what happened?

My dear since I hardly put my gender in my profile,when I first joined the forum despite the obvious female moniker,many assumed I was male and when my gender was made known,there were men I had debated in the past that would say things like "I don't have time for this woman" or I had no clue you were a woman or please find your fellow women and all that crap.
Like women were some 2nd rated beings and so were not expected to say anything intelligent

osisi*:

My dear since I hardly put my gender in my profile,when I first joined the forum despite the obvious female moniker,many assumed I was male and when my gender was made known,there were men I had debated in the past that would say things like "I don't have time for this woman" or I had no clue you were a woman or please find your fellow women and all that crap.
Like women were some 2nd rated beings and so were not expected to say anything intelligent

Not surprised. Heard it all before.

Dafidi sef is guilty of stuff like "what are you going in poltics, is Romance full"

KarmaMod:

Not surprised. Heard it all before.

Dafidi sef is guilty of stuff like "what are you going in poltics, is Romance full"

LadyT:

But Osisi your husband is a conc Nigerian right?

Does he find you strong willed?

Conc Nigerian but I am truly blessed because I talk with friends with husbands that will not lift a finger,will not babysit their own kids,will not bathe ,feed them or change diapers.
Mine will  ocassionally vaccum,cook, do laundry and always bathed the kids till they could bathe themselves.
The only thing he will not do is wash dishes

Yes he thinks I'm opinionated but he knew that before we married but then over the years ,I've learnt when to back down and let him lead because we're not a power tussle and thankfully he respects me and my opinions.

osisi*:

Conc Nigerian but I am truly blessed when I talk with friends with husbands that will not lift a finger,will not babysit their own kids,will not bathe ,feed them or change diapers.

This is depressing.

Well he sounds modern! And it may not have anything to do with living in the US

Not these old fashion lazy lay abouts!

I do find some men pick what they like out of Nigerian culture whatever suits them.

KarmaMod:

This is depressing.

Very annoying.
I attend all these baby and bridal  showers and you'll see women with little kids some with 3 kids all under the age of 5 running amock at the shower and the poor woman can't even enjoy her time out with other women just because she has kids.
While the husband is at home watching TV and drinking beer.
I never go to such outings with my kids.
I need my own time alone to relax and have fun
Even weddings.when the hubby doesn't want to come he stays home with the kids.
Some men are very very inconsiderate and that's why you see some of our women looking so much older than their age.
They'll work hours and hours plus overtime and get no time alone to cool off

Two quick points; of course the premise of the thread has some truth. Many African men love African culture, or those parts of African culture, that confer advantage over women.

However, regarding this

Not surprised. Heard it all before.
Dafidi sef is guilty of  stuff like "what are you going in poltics, is Romance full"  Angry

I can't find any female Nairalander whose views on the ''hard stuffs'' are worth reading. Not one.

I think Seun should sequester all females from politics and confine female users to the romance and sexuality sections

LadyT:

Well[b] he sounds modern[/b]! And it may not have anything to do with living in the US

Not these old fashion lazy lay abouts!

I do find some men pick what they like out of Nigerian culture whatever suits them.

That's not all of it, I had to train him too.
My mom told me that you teach people how to treat you.
She taught me to love,respect and submit to my husband but not to be a doormat and she was no doormat and my father and all his relatives love and respect her.

4 Play:

Two quick points; of course the premise of the thread has some truth. Many African men love African culture, or those parts of African culture, that confer advantage over women.

However, regarding this I can't find any female Nairalander whose views on the ''hard stuffs'' are worth reading. Not one.

I think Seun should sequester all females from politics and confine female users to the romance and sexuality sections

Another topic changer.

Sadly some of the points raised by osisi is true. Some men can be so inconsiderate like the kids ain't even theirs.

4 Play:

Two quick points; of course the premise of the thread has some truth. Many African men love African culture, or those parts of African culture, that confer advantage over women.

However, regarding this I can't find any female Nairalander whose views on the ''hard stuffs'' are worth reading. Not one.

I think Seun should sequester all females from politics and confine female users to the romance and sexuality sections

This is a sexist comment.

Beliefs and tradition i think is the main issue here.

A black man will defend his culture because of the societal values attached to Good Morals.

I have no respect for western cultures (personally).

Binge, multiple sex partners, cigarette, low life, laziness, obsession,

The very value i cherish here is development(everything that makes survival secured), nothing more.

Africa would be the greatest continent on earth if we get our priorities right (n the west know that).

it's impressive that when I point out something, Mr davidylan labels me as hysteric and says that I'm looking down on my culture. Looking down on what? Pointing out that there are aspects in our society that are unfair and grossly wrong. You contradict yourself way too much. So what if I've lived outside the country? No one lives in a vacuum. You live and learn. These are opinions I've held before I carry leg out of Naija and you cannot shut me up by your sub-standard and fallacious arguments.

Look I'm not saying that men in other societies aren't chauvinistic. I'm not saying that western societies are perfect. I'm only pointing out what I've seen with my korokoro eyes. In our country. I have not mentioned any favorable comparison anywhere else. I've dated men of different races and whathaveyou and they all have their pros and cons. You say that it's acceptable to suffer being treated as a second-class citizen because it's in our culture and godforbid we become like the people of gomorrah in the west. I'm not a fan of divorce but I've seen far too many homes suffer unnecessarily because some women don't stand up for themselves.

At least, I'm glad the women in your family are happy. And I agree that people should take more responsibility for their lives.


@4Play
I studied politics in college and work in journalism. I don't spend too much time on nairaland because frankly I have a full plate. I repeat, it's sad that some men dismiss the opinions of women as utter rubbish and not worth hearing.

@dremoney "Binge, multiple sex partners, cigarette, low life, laziness, obsession, "
and of course you've never seen this in africa (/sarcasm)

4Play you've become quite predictable. I was actually expecting that response.

dremoney:

Binge, multiple sex partners, cigarette, low life, laziness, obsession,

sounds like naija to me.

whats the difference between binging and excessive palm wine/overcrowded bar parlors?

also are you saying people don't smoke in Naija?


Keep fooling yourselves

@Karmamod.

Abi oh!!

@KarmaMod

Predictability is not inherently bad. Perhaps, yet another example of the clueless punditry of the Naija female specie.

@beehop

So? Who cares what you studied. My point still stands and I have as evidence the political threads of NL where many women have proceeded to defaecate on our threads with commentary devoid of any iota of sapience.

@4Play.

whatever. go delight in the superior brainpower of your fellow menfolk. I'm going offline. I don tire.

beebop:

@4Play.
whatever. go delight in the superior brainpower of your fellow menfolk. I'm going offline. I don tire.

Never said anything about superior brainpower. All I have said is that I don't learn anything reading female posts in the politics section.

If this is the ''brainpower'' you have threatened to inflict on the politics threads, I'm delighted that you have decided to stay offline.

4PLay misses Funmi is all

Your girl is EarthMama now K?

.

@ dremoney

u must be joking right?

African culture has produced the worst continent that the world has ever seen.

Has it occured to you that Western culture is the reason why everything is good where you are.

We claim Africa has good culture but we are like ANIMALS. A continent that is at the bottom of the barrel in everything of use in the world

.

Western Culture is 1000 times better than African culture. The proof is there for all to see.

Bogus Claim: people in Africa have better culture than westerners

Facts on ground: Africa is the worst continent in the world and the laughing stock of the world. People acting like animals all over the place. Infact the whole continent is a big safari.

So before you talk down Western Culture ask yourself these questions

How come we claim to "have grown up well" (whatever that means) and have 'culture' and the westerners--not so much but we are the most pathetic breed of humans on earth and We are like scum of the earth?

HOW IS IT THAT A CONTINENT FULL OF PEOPLE THAT GREW UP WELL IS CRAP WHILE CONTINENTS THAT HAVE DECADENT CULTURE IS WHERE WE ALL WANT TO BE.

We Africans are fools and shit will never change because we can't even tell ourselves the truth. Let us get to the level of Asia and Latin America b/ we start comparing ourselves with Westerners. What a joke we are

4 Play:

Never said anything about superior brainpower. All I have said is that I don't learn anything reading female posts in the politics section.

If this is the ''brainpower'' you have threatened to inflict on the politics threads, I'm delighted that you have decided to stay offline.

puleeze. If that's the biggest putdown you can muster, Einstein, *snore*