She's an epitome of beauty...in her final year in the University.

We have been friends for about six months now...without so much close contact yet.

Last week, her call came. And she spoke up like she has never done before...

"I want to get married. I am sick and tired of remaining a virgin."

To say the least, those words sounded like a bomb blast in my ear...and the echoe continues!

Yes, i am ripe for marriage...but i am still confused about the whole thing.

Please, who else has had a similar experience? How did you handle it? Nairalanders, i need your opinions and suggestions. Thanks in advance.

Marry her

It's time to be very analytical.
There are many reasons that could make a lady utter such statement.

1. External pressure: Maybe someone is selling her the idea that she should get settled. It may be her parent(s) or friend(s). Alternatively, her friends may be getting married en masse. Finally, a suitor or suitors have been making her believe she is due, and she is letting you know she is considering that option, even if it's not you.

2. She may not be seeing a future with you. Hence, that statement is a way of reinforcing her belief that you will be there for her or trying to let you know she wants something real than what you both are in.

Either ways, this is a signal that something isn't normal for her in that relationship anymore. She may be ready to advance into the next stage of life, with or without you.

I believe you have two options, both of which you can negotiate after having a talk with her. First, try to find out her reason for wanting to take the next step. You have to do this as a friend, not a jealous lover.

If she's doing it under pressure, remind her that people tend to make grave relationship mistakes whenever they are willing to thaw under pressure. Rather, she must take all the pressure away and see what she wants for herself clearly.

Your two options are to marry he or to let her go, if you can ascertain that she really feels the need to get settled soonest. You know, a woman's mind holds a lot of secrets and reasons for every single action they take or are willing to take. No need acting like you know it all, for in truth, men do not actually weigh over issues as deeply as women do.

If you're ready, you marry her as long as she'll make you proud of that decision.

If you're not ready, ask her to be patient only if you want the relationship. Else, you can tell her you aren't ready or considering that option anytime soon.

But leave out begging in any case. Let her make her decision from then on, so you do not get blamed for a wrong act

DesChyko:
It's time to be very analytical.
There are many reasons that could make a lady utter such statement.

1. External pressure: Maybe someone is selling her the idea that she should get settled. It may be her parent(s) or friend(s). Alternatively, her friends may be getting married en masse. Finally, a suitor or suitors have been making her believe she is due, and she is letting you know she is considering that option, even if it's not you.

2. She may not be seeing a future with you. Hence, that statement is a way of reinforcing her belief that you will be there for her or trying to let you know she wants something real than what you both are in.

Either ways, this is a signal that something isn't normal for her in that relationship anymore. She may be ready to advance into the next stage of life, with or without you.

I believe you have two options, both of which you can negotiate after having a talk with her. First, try to find out her reason for wanting to take the next step. You have to do this as a friend, not a jealous lover.

If she's doing it under pressure, remind her that people tend to make grave relationship mistakes whenever they are willing to thaw under pressure. Rather, she must take all the pressure away and see what she wants for herself clearly.

Your two options are to marry he or to let her go, if you can ascertain that she really feels the need to get settled soonest. You know, a woman's mind holds a lot of secrets and reasons for every single action they take or are willing to take. No need acting like you know it all, for in truth, men do not actually weigh over issues as deeply as women do.

If you're ready, you marry her as long as she'll make you proud of that decision.

If you're not ready, ask her to be patient only if you want the relationship. Else, you can tell her you aren't ready or considering that option anytime soon.

But leave out begging in any case. Let her make her decision from then on, so you do not get blamed for a wrong act

U sounded like a counsellor, nice one! Hope Op follows ur advice

That's an indirect way of telling you to marry her. If you're okay with than then forge ahead.

Missleading topic

If she said that,take the relationship to the next level,if you are truly ready,and ready for commitment..

Ur gf n I are in d same condition. D only diff is dat m nt into a relationship n it's making me sick

look before you leap.marriage is only in no going out.if u are confused , pray to GOD for guidance. sex at the wrong time has consequences

Dude marry her since ure ripe for marriage











BTW,maybe dats her own way of saying"I see my future in you"

It just like story for the god to me cos I wonder how she will be telling you that when she is not ready for marriage, moreover mayb your behavior to her sound like you don't find her attractive. Cheer up

pretydiva:
Ur gf n I are in d same condition. D only diff is dat m nt into a relationship n it's making me sick

Hmmm...dnt get sick dear.
It will happen, when u dnt expect.

Jst remember u're not alone in dat situation.

jnrbayano:
Marry her

But i scarcely know her. Like i said, we have been operating from a distance. Is it wise to go ahead and marry her?

Something seems sinister about this entire issue

DesChyko:
It's time to be very analytical.
There are many reasons that could make a lady utter such statement.

1. External pressure: Maybe someone is selling her the idea that she should get settled. It may be her parent(s) or friend(s). Alternatively, her friends may be getting married en masse. Finally, a suitor or suitors have been making her believe she is due, and she is letting you know she is considering that option, even if it's not you.

2. She may not be seeing a future with you. Hence, that statement is a way of reinforcing her belief that you will be there for her or trying to let you know she wants something real than what you both are in.

Either ways, this is a signal that something isn't normal for her in that relationship anymore. She may be ready to advance into the next stage of life, with or without you.

I believe you have two options, both of which you can negotiate after having a talk with her. First, try to find out her reason for wanting to take the next step. You have to do this as a friend, not a jealous lover.

If she's doing it under pressure, remind her that people tend to make grave relationship mistakes whenever they are willing to thaw under pressure. Rather, she must take all the pressure away and see what she wants for herself clearly.

Your two options are to marry he or to let her go, if you can ascertain that she really feels the need to get settled soonest. You know, a woman's mind holds a lot of secrets and reasons for every single action they take or are willing to take. No need acting like you know it all, for in truth, men do not actually weigh over issues as deeply as women do.

If you're ready, you marry her as long as she'll make you proud of that decision.

If you're not ready, ask her to be patient only if you want the relationship. Else, you can tell her you aren't ready or considering that option anytime soon.

But leave out begging in any case. Let her make her decision from then on, so you do not get blamed for a wrong act

Thanks a million my man for taking time to walk me through all this. I appreciate it.

Acting on your advice, i have resolved to ask her over this weekend and have a heart-to-heart chat with her.

simplemach:
Missleading topic

Really? I don't get that. Could you please explain it, if you don't mind.

pretydiva:
Ur gf n I are in d same condition. D only diff is dat m nt into a relationship n it's making me sick

All right, sorry about that. But what do you think could lead to such situation?

simplemach:
Missleading topic

my brother see me see wahala o. Watin i see come see watin i come dey hear

cj4someone:
But i scarcely know her. Like i said, we have been operating from a distance. Is it wise to go ahead and marry her?

don't be n a hurry to get yourself trapped4ever.

Wanting to loose her virgnity is a ”whorre in d makings way” of saying. Marry me, disvirgn me and let me go xplore d world.

Virgns are always curious. They wonda what the next dck tastes like.


Last bullet: run for your life...like u said, u don't even know her well enough.

Virgins freak me out.. Don't know what to tell u.

cj4someone:
All right, sorry about that. But what do you think could lead to such situation?

its rily nt easy keeping one's virginity u no. Sm times d tot of doin it comes 2 mind. Gues she does nt wanna commit fornication, so she prefers she gets married on time/early so as 2 avoid it

MissSlimbody:


Hmmm...dnt get sick dear.
It will happen, when u dnt expect.

Jst remember u're not alone in dat situation.

kk.fnks dear

Give her wot she wants

So getting married or losing her virginity will solve her problem? To me that's a childish talk and unwise move. What gives her the impression that s rushing to settle down is the way? Well, except she's giving you the green light to ask her out. Otherwise her utterances is childish.

kellexnuel:
look before you leap.marriage is only in no going out.if u are confused , pray to GOD for guidance. sex at the wrong time has consequences

Thanks

guffywealth26:
Virgins freak me out.. Don't know what to tell u.

Waoh!

She wants to get married all because of sex??
Of all reason to get married....Sex??

Mtchew
U can easily predict someone who will not have a successful marriage.

I see someone who needs a renewing of mind. She's been fed with a lot of jargons and needs to start reprogramming her mind.


[size=30pt] My dear op[/size]
Try and talk to her and find out where all dx started from. How she came about that decision. When u do, tackle it from there. And if u'r not ready for marriage now and she's stl holding on to what she said, kindly let her walk away. Finito!

pretydiva:
Ur gf n I are in d same condition. D only diff is dat m nt into a relationship n it's making me sick

Ever heard dx?
"Real good things take time"
I am in ur shoes also and it used to make me sick. I realized dt, d more I allowed it to affect me, d more liable I was to take d wrong step.

All I do now is making myself a better person. Adding value to myself. Increasing in knowledge and improving myself in all areas so dt when she finally comes, all I will have to offer her will not be I love u. U could do same

AgapeCharis:
Ever heard dx?
"Real good things take time"
I am in ur shoes also and it used to make me sick. I realized dt, d more I allowed it to affect me, d more liable I was to take d wrong step.

All I do now is making myself a better person. Adding value to myself. Increasing in knowledge and improving myself in all areas so dt when she finally comes, all I will have to offer her will not be I love u. U could do same

fnks dear..wil kip dat in mind

pretydiva:
fnks dear..wil kip dat in mind

Uwc

cj4someone:
She's an epitome of beauty...in her final year in the University.

We have been friends for about since months now...without so much close contact yet.

Last week, her call came. And she spoke up like she has never done before...

"I want to get married. I am sick and tired of remaining a virgin."

To say the least, those words sounded like a bomb blast in my ear...and the echoe continues!

Yes, i am ripe for marriage...but i am still confused about the whole thing.

Please, who else has had a similar experience? How did you handle it? Nairalanders, i need your opinions and suggestions. Thanks in advance.

What if u marry her and later find ouut she z not a virgin afterall? Will u divorce her?