The mistake is done already, I will advice you to stay and carry your cross because you had all the signal you need to stay away yet you were blinded with love and wealth. The divorce you are considering now what will be your basis for it? What petition can you hold against the man?
According to your story the man is loving, faithful and caring even his wife self, so am wondering what will be your stand for the divorce. These are my advice;
Convert to muslim since the man is a muslim faith it will make you win the man's heart more and he will be happy to start introducing you to his friends as you lamented.
Secondly, try as much as possible to get a child for him since his initial intention is the child bearing. This will also make him love you more.
Then, love him more by beginning to focus on those qualities you found in him that made you fell in love with him. I assure you that you are going to enjoy your married life once again forget about what your friends will says please this life is very individual and does not have a general principle.
Say no to "Divorce" unless on the issue of infidelity, humiliation, and carelessness. The Devil you know is far more better than the Angel you do not know.
Good luck

Floodgater:
After all these time you still dont feel right yet you are forcing yourself to Anyways, dont be naive to the point of not utilizing the opportunity of furthering your study abroad immediately after birth. You will know what you really want for yourself after it.

Yeah that is exactly what I will do arangement has already been and it's certain as far God gives me the gift of life. As for forcing myself I just have to till I give birth but I still said it has not been that bad. Thanks.

Allo Sherina....sent you a Pm....pls do reply!

bashbabe2:

What are you saying. I was not brought up in a polygamous home. But my religion allows it in as much it's done within the rules and he can be just. If he fear he cannot be just then should only marry one to avoid falling into error.

It's better to have a polygamous home than adulterous husband. This is a grevious sin in which most men are involved in today.
Your beliefs might not make you see sense in polygamy but what you should not do is discourage or condemn people in it. Live your life and let her live hers.

Well Said I am actually waiting for @babeosisi reply

I just saw this thread today and I read every post. OP I think you have a good life and you should not let people take away you happiness. Yours is a happy marriage from all indications, you will be surprised at the number of so called monogamous marriages in which there are more than 2 people in it, devoid of love, understanding, happiness, trust, repeat, even mercy. Your husband has been a perfect husband from all what you have said. Please disabuse yourself of the notion of ever leaving him. All your focus now should be about giving birth to a wonderful baby and raising the baby with your husband with love and affection. I am appalled that some people will seat in the comfort of their homes and be advising a woman to leave her husband and destroy her home (YES YOU HAVE A HOME) when there is no cogent reason, but giving lame excuse about polygamy, Where in the Bible is polygamy prohibited, Abraham the father of faith married more than one wife. Monogamy was only brought into Christianity as part of roman culture. May God guide you aright.

See an herbalist... Next!

I dont get, this is making FP a year after?

sherina10:


What I meant by comfort was that he helped me a lot when I moved out from my sister's house. Because he was practically the family I never had then.

u are simply a child/children factory.

1) He is supposed to treat you the same way but sorry that can never happen

2) It was your choice to go ahead with it

3) I don't know where in the Bible, God expressly forbid polygamy

4) There are some albeit (very few) polygamous bones that are far better than most monogamous homes. You might not be happy at all if you decided to marry another person. I am not asking you not to leave but this time around you must be willing to take responsibility. You don't sound like you weigh your options before making life changing decisions.

5) There are women who do not mind polygamy. Child issues or not.

End time second wife


End time childbearing agent

Over a year now, just hitting FP. Mods how market na?

sherina10:
Hello
I'm 23 years old, a graduate and currently serving.

I met a guy sometimes in 2012 and we got into into a relationship along the line he told me he was married but had issue with his wife and they are separated but he didn't tell me what d issue was.

I couldn't care less then because I had issue with my elders sister's husband whom I was staying with and he sent me packing. They were the one sponsoring my education. I was broke, confused and frustrated with no money. I called my in law to apologize he wouldn't pick up, send sms in fact I did everything I could to make him forgive me but it seems its heart was made up then, I was left with no choice but to move on then I just finished the semester for 300 level going to 400 level with no savings in my account and my heart was full of anger and hatred.

Above is the reason why I couldn't care less, then i was totally broke with no love from anyone expect this guy, in fact to me he was God sent then because really he saved me from a lot of sufferings.

He helped me move on with no stress, again I was comfortable and I don't need my sister's money for anything but he told me that he wanted to get married to me which I accepted because I cant afford to loose him.

Along the line he reconciled with his wife and he told me that he had reconciled with his wife and he told her about me and his intention to marry me and she accepted.
Note: they are muslim n i'm a Christian
When he told me about this I wasn't comfortable with it because I wasn't interested in polygamy in fact at the beginning I lost interest in everything when he told me he was married but I couldn't let go because of the comfort. He is not very rich but he is comfortable.

We kept on seeing each other, he is very okay in person, very religious, very caring, he had it all and I love him very much.
All he wanted was marriage, I got to know his wife who happen to be very nice too and sometimes I wonder why a woman will become that nice to her husband's
Everything was going fine and I got deep into promise of I will marry him too to the point of no return again I was left with no choice than to get married to him.

FAST FORWARD..........
We are currently married(polygamy)
Separate apartment (the two houses are close by) no transport needed.
24hours with each wife
No fighting
Provide's everything equally
JEALOUS? Deal with it whatever way you can but you have no right to confront your mate over anything because she isn't married to you.

The marriage is going on fine if you can deal with the above.

My GRIEVIANCE
1. I just find out that he married me (if not me then another) for child bearing
His wife had health issues and he wants a particular number of children.
How did I know this? He told me himself. When I stressed on it he told me that if he married me for child rearing how come we are still together because i lost a pregnancy
not long after we got married.

2. He doesn't keep any of his personal belongings in the apartment the both of us is sharing. But he brings some office document and somethings when he needs them and take it back when he is done

3. He doesn't receive visitors in our apartment. Reasons: I don't cover my head and his friends isn't comfortable looking at me because it's as if i'm naked to them.

4. Sometimes I feel ashamed of being a second wife, I cant tell my friends, sometimes when we discuss marital issue they always complain about money but I don't while they are I like I wish i'm comfortable like u, In my mind I will be like I wish I can get a husband to myself like u . Pathetic? Yes.

All in all the marriage has not been bad but my senses just can't accept it that i'm a 2nd fiddle, maybe because of the way I was raised or because it is a taboo to my Christian faith.

I want a divorce because he has bridged his marriage contract, he told me initially that wife is wife in islam, there is no difference between 1st, 2nd to infinto wives but I cant cope with the above because I feel he lied to me.
I can't be in a marriage because of children.

CRITICISM is allowed but please advise while you do so or after you have done that.

It is worthy to NOTE that we never committed fornication/adultery before the marriage because he said its against its religion.
If you want any kpekus (whether extra, supplementary or whatever) then get married first, lol.

As a Christian,you cant be married as a second wife so,the door is wide open:get out of there b4 Jesus comes back.

You basically married for money so now that u see that money cannot satisfy all, u want out. Well I'm sorry but u can't eat your cake and have it. Remain there ankle seek God's face. Cos if u leave life will become a living hell for u

sherina10:


I can't deal with the emotion and the stigma. That awful look they give me when they discover i'm a second wife at my age breaks my heart.

Have a life. An actual one. Build and pursue your career/dreans. When you finally have kids, you can hand them to your first wife to help out.

You will be more confident in yourself if you make efforts to have a life outside polygamy. In fact, you will hardly have time to think about the emotions, stigma, and the man's selfishness.

However you can choose to divorce home. Don't mind people. It is your life, you are still very young and even if you are not, inasmuch you are somebody and you are a good person. Your life will turn out great

Abeg somebody summarise this long story for me. I no get power to read.

Madam You Are Confused, And The Only Person That Can Get You Out Of This State You Are Right Now Is You Yourself

bashbabe2:

What are you saying. I was not brought up in a polygamous home. But my religion allows it in as much it's done within the rules and he can be just. If he fear he cannot be just then should only marry one to avoid falling into error.

It's better to have a polygamous home than adulterous husband. This is a grevious sin in which most men are involved in today.
Your beliefs might not make you see sense in polygamy but what you should not do is discourage or condemn people in it. Live your life and let her live hers.

Polygamy does not stop men from committing adultery. Yloif should come up with rational reasons for polygamy.

Don't you hv other family members?

@ Sherina10 I totally relate with your predicament especially in a developing economy like Nigeria where there are not much opportunities for people especially young girls to cater for themselves without relying on their parents , rich relation and brother in law that wants to help or a rich boy friend .However , I think it is important to accept your mistakes and move on with your life if you truly feel alright to leave this union except you're still hell bent on freebies you don't deserve.
Leave the high life and leave all that financial freedom and take your destiny in your own hands unless you're sure that your financial and social salvation lies solely with this man but again a man that has zero respect for your feelings will never give you that freedom - To him , you're nothing but a baby vessel which is an equal of a slave .
Unless you've got your plans intact on how to overthrow the other woman but it won't be an easy road.

why do u want to back out after being married to him by law?
U knew wat u were signing-up for from d onset so no need for divorce now. Till dead separate u guys . .

sherina10:
Hello
I'm 23 years old, a graduate and currently serving.

I met a guy sometimes in 2012 and we got into into a relationship along the line he told me he was married but had issue with his wife and they are separated but he didn't tell me what d issue was.

I couldn't care less then because I had issue with my elders sister's husband whom I was staying with and he sent me packing. They were the one sponsoring my education. I was broke, confused and frustrated with no money. I called my in law to apologize he wouldn't pick up, send sms in fact I did everything I could to make him forgive me but it seems its heart was made up then, I was left with no choice but to move on then I just finished the semester for 300 level going to 400 level with no savings in my account and my heart was full of anger and hatred.

Above is the reason why I couldn't care less, then i was totally broke with no love from anyone expect this guy, in fact to me he was God sent then because really he saved me from a lot of sufferings.

He helped me move on with no stress, again I was comfortable and I don't need my sister's money for anything but he told me that he wanted to get married to me which I accepted because I cant afford to loose him.

Along the line he reconciled with his wife and he told me that he had reconciled with his wife and he told her about me and his intention to marry me and she accepted.
Note: they are muslim n i'm a Christian
When he told me about this I wasn't comfortable with it because I wasn't interested in polygamy in fact at the beginning I lost interest in everything when he told me he was married but I couldn't let go because of the comfort. He is not very rich but he is comfortable.

We kept on seeing each other, he is very okay in person, very religious, very caring, he had it all and I love him very much.
All he wanted was marriage, I got to know his wife who happen to be very nice too and sometimes I wonder why a woman will become that nice to her husband's
Everything was going fine and I got deep into promise of I will marry him too to the point of no return again I was left with no choice than to get married to him.

FAST FORWARD..........
We are currently married(polygamy)
Separate apartment (the two houses are close by) no transport needed.
24hours with each wife
No fighting
Provide's everything equally
JEALOUS? Deal with it whatever way you can but you have no right to confront your mate over anything because she isn't married to you.

The marriage is going on fine if you can deal with the above.

My GRIEVIANCE
1. I just find out that he married me (if not me then another) for child bearing
His wife had health issues and he wants a particular number of children.
How did I know this? He told me himself. When I stressed on it he told me that if he married me for child rearing how come we are still together because i lost a pregnancy
not long after we got married.

2. He doesn't keep any of his personal belongings in the apartment the both of us is sharing. But he brings some office document and somethings when he needs them and take it back when he is done

3. He doesn't receive visitors in our apartment. Reasons: I don't cover my head and his friends isn't comfortable looking at me because it's as if i'm naked to them.

4. Sometimes I feel ashamed of being a second wife, I cant tell my friends, sometimes when we discuss marital issue they always complain about money but I don't while they are I like I wish i'm comfortable like u, In my mind I will be like I wish I can get a husband to myself like u . Pathetic? Yes.

All in all the marriage has not been bad but my senses just can't accept it that i'm a 2nd fiddle, maybe because of the way I was raised or because it is a taboo to my Christian faith.

I want a divorce because he has bridged his marriage contract, he told me initially that wife is wife in islam, there is no difference between 1st, 2nd to infinto wives but I cant cope with the above because I feel he lied to me.
I can't be in a marriage because of children.

CRITICISM is allowed but please advise while you do so or after you have done that.

It is worthy to NOTE that we never committed fornication/adultery before the marriage because he said its against its religion.
If you want any kpekus (whether extra, supplementary or whatever) then get married first, lol.

Get a reorientation lady..polygamy though not advisable but not a bad thing neither is it a sin...you made that choice so live with it.

base on your religion he is not and will never ur be ur husband and deep down u already know that better truth do u just woman up and follow u gut cos with that u can't get it wrong and I will also suggest u don't complicate the issue on ground with kids base on your religion he is not and will never ur be ur husband and deep down u already know that better truth do u just woman up and follow u gut cos with that u can't get it wrong and I will also suggest u don't complicate the issue on ground with kids

Old story copy n pest

sherina10:
Hello
I'm 23 years old, a graduate and currently serving.

I met a guy sometimes in 2012 and we got into into a relationship along the line he told me he was married but had issue with his wife and they are separated but he didn't tell me what d issue was.

I couldn't care less then because I had issue with my elders sister's husband whom I was staying with and he sent me packing. They were the one sponsoring my education. I was broke, confused and frustrated with no money. I called my in law to apologize he wouldn't pick up, send sms in fact I did everything I could to make him forgive me but it seems its heart was made up then, I was left with no choice but to move on then I just finished the semester for 300 level going to 400 level with no savings in my account and my heart was full of anger and hatred.

Above is the reason why I couldn't care less, then i was totally broke with no love from anyone expect this guy, in fact to me he was God sent then because really he saved me from a lot of sufferings.

He helped me move on with no stress, again I was comfortable and I don't need my sister's money for anything but he told me that he wanted to get married to me which I accepted because I cant afford to loose him.

Along the line he reconciled with his wife and he told me that he had reconciled with his wife and he told her about me and his intention to marry me and she accepted.
Note: they are muslim n i'm a Christian
When he told me about this I wasn't comfortable with it because I wasn't interested in polygamy in fact at the beginning I lost interest in everything when he told me he was married but I couldn't let go because of the comfort. He is not very rich but he is comfortable.

We kept on seeing each other, he is very okay in person, very religious, very caring, he had it all and I love him very much.
All he wanted was marriage, I got to know his wife who happen to be very nice too and sometimes I wonder why a woman will become that nice to her husband's
Everything was going fine and I got deep into promise of I will marry him too to the point of no return again I was left with no choice than to get married to him.

FAST FORWARD..........
We are currently married(polygamy)
Separate apartment (the two houses are close by) no transport needed.
24hours with each wife
No fighting
Provide's everything equally
JEALOUS? Deal with it whatever way you can but you have no right to confront your mate over anything because she isn't married to you.

The marriage is going on fine if you can deal with the above.

My GRIEVIANCE
1. I just find out that he married me (if not me then another) for child bearing
His wife had health issues and he wants a particular number of children.
How did I know this? He told me himself. When I stressed on it he told me that if he married me for child rearing how come we are still together because i lost a pregnancy
not long after we got married.

2. He doesn't keep any of his personal belongings in the apartment the both of us is sharing. But he brings some office document and somethings when he needs them and take it back when he is done

3. He doesn't receive visitors in our apartment. Reasons: I don't cover my head and his friends isn't comfortable looking at me because it's as if i'm naked to them.

4. Sometimes I feel ashamed of being a second wife, I cant tell my friends, sometimes when we discuss marital issue they always complain about money but I don't while they are I like I wish i'm comfortable like u, In my mind I will be like I wish I can get a husband to myself like u . Pathetic? Yes.

All in all the marriage has not been bad but my senses just can't accept it that i'm a 2nd fiddle, maybe because of the way I was raised or because it is a taboo to my Christian faith.

I want a divorce because he has bridged his marriage contract, he told me initially that wife is wife in islam, there is no difference between 1st, 2nd to infinto wives but I cant cope with the above because I feel he lied to me.
I can't be in a marriage because of children.

CRITICISM is allowed but please advise while you do so or after you have done that.

It is worthy to NOTE that we never committed fornication/adultery before the marriage because he said its against its religion.
If you want any kpekus (whether extra, supplementary or whatever) then get married first, lol.

You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

You're married and according to you somewhat happily, some of the people that are going to advise you are in monogamous hell hole marriages.

There's nothing wrong with being in a polygamous marriage as long as everybody is on the up and up.

Enjoy the life that you have or if it's not what you want then divorce.

Good luck.

It seems like the man truly loves you. The one thing standing in the way of true intimacy between you guys is your christianity, and you sound as if you're taking steps to remedy that already.

If you become a muslim, you wouldn see polygamy as awkward anymore, and he would treat your house more like his other home. Voila, all your problems solved in a flash

your basic problem is that : you want out since you have got what you want and can't take the stigma if being a second wife to a Muslim... ..seriously, it also seems someone is already attracting your attention
there is no advice here.... you don't want again because you have got what you want ..comfort when you needed it....
it seems you just want us to tell you your plan is good or bad.....there is no evil in being a second wife ....homosexual are even proud despite the evil it is . but you being a second wife is not...the world is upside down

Fred Amata should come and pick up this script and it should be titled "No Love Lost and No Love Found"


Girl enjoy ur marriage jor

4. Sometimes I feel ashamed of being a second wife, I cant tell my friends, sometimes when we discuss marital issue they always complain about money but I don't while they are I like I wish i'm comfortable like u, In my mind I will be like I wish I can get a husband to myself like u . Pathetic? Yes. HMmmm!!! Enito ni ori oni fila

I won't blame you. It's the African mentality to get married solely for children that is increasing our population exponentially. Our infrastructures are bursting at the seams and our universities are overflowing with undergraduates. Meanwhile someone is taking four wives because his religion says so. But his religion will not be here to help with the societal pathologies that follow. Think about your happiness first before you think of being a baby making apparatus for any man.