lilmax:
what happened in the olden days when there were no phones?

I didnt have a house then.
Abeg people should get off my case, state how you deal with unplanned visitors and leave me with what works gor me haba, must everybody act the same or do what you want?
Its a question poster asked answer yours and leave Aisha

Hazardd:


rude as in not leting them in. Most you expect everybody coming to your house to always inform you first before you let them in.is better you give them lesser attention than not letting them in. You must always expect 'surprise visiting' every time.

My house my choice. Live in your house and let me make the rules in mine. Thank you

aisha2:


My in laws are not visitors but family. They can visit anytime same way i visit them anytime

But the principle is still the same though, isn't it? As long as they too don't live with you, and drop in unannounced, then they are also visitors (albeit family visitors).

SAMBARRY:
if I peep through the hole of my door or peep through my curtain and it's a close relative he or she can enter like my parents or siblings parents. The rest will sleep there

So it's one rule for them and another rule for the others. A bit of hypocrisy here, won't you agree?

aisha2:


I didnt have a house then.
Abeg people should get off my case, state how you deal with unplanned visitors and leave me with what works gor me haba, must everybody act the same or do what you want?
Its a question poster asked answer yours and leave Aisha

attitude

Ladies (Aisha2 & Sambarry), I'm not picking on either of you - far from it.

I'm simply highlightening the fact that some actions are easier said than done and a lot more difficult to carry out when family is involved.

I daresay, this exclusion might even be extended to very close, but long, lost friends too.

EfemenaXY:
Ladies (Aisha2 & Sambarry), I'm not picking on either of you - far from it.

I'm simply highlightening the fact that some actions are easier said than done and a lot more difficult to carry out when family is involved.

I daresay, this exclusion might even be extended to very close, but long, lost friends too.

I dont lie, I dont say what I dont do.
I have little tolerance for nonsense, I dont pretend, everyone in my life will say that much about me, everyone may not like it but they know where we stand, I dont keep malice or hold grudges I am like a mirror.

My inlaws are not visitors, they are family they are free to come and go as they please same way I go to my mother in law, but we always somehow try to alert each other because we are all busy and may not be home when the other drops in unannounced.
I like to harrass my mother in law, I like to poach her jewellery and bags, I also make her prepare ewedu a lot lol so sometimes she hides from me too

aisha2:


My house my choice. Live in your house and let me make the rules in mine. Thank you

lol, the best thing to do is to write down visiting days and hours and hang it in your gate.

What concern me by the way

EfemenaXY:


But the principle is still the same though, isn't it? As long as they too don't live with you, and drop in unannounced, then they are also visitors (albeit family visitors).




So it's one rule for them and another rule for the others. A bit of hypocrisy here, won't you agree?

Dont twist words, my inlaws are family they are not visitors, they call because my house is far and wasting a long trip without meeting me is not worth it but even if they dont call they can come, my mother in law has a spare key if she needs something urgently she can always go and pick it but will let me know. The key is for emergencies incase I loose mine or hubby looses his. Someone with a key is not a visitor like I said it works for me. Has worked from day 1

Hazardd:


lol, the best thing to do is to write down visiting days and hours and hang it in your gate.

What concern me by the way

Go and die

EfemenaXY:
Ladies (Aisha2 & Sambarry), I'm not picking on either of you - far from it.

I'm simply highlightening the fact that some actions are easier said than done and a lot more difficult to carry out when family is involved.

I daresay, this exclusion might even be extended to very close, but long, lost friends too.

Hmmmm very very true o, to be very realistic if I hear my doorbell and open my door to see a long time friend I haven't seen in years, I would be so damn excited and scream the whole house down. OMG we humans sometimes mostly don't how we will react to things till it happens o.

At the above post I posted earlier will like be done to a persistent person who never listens.

EfemenaXY:
Ladies (Aisha2 & Sambarry), I'm not picking on either of you - far from it.

I'm simply highlightening the fact that some actions are easier said than done and a lot more difficult to carry out when family is involved.

I daresay, this exclusion might even be extended to very close, but long, lost friends too.

they didnt know what they are doing.

aisha2:


Go and die

aisha2:


Dont twist words, my inlaws are family they are not visitors, they call because my house is far and wasting a long trip without meeting me is not worth it but even if they dont call they can come, my mother in law has a spare key if she needs something urgently she can always go and pick it but will let me know. The key is for emergencies incase I loose mine or hubby looses his. Someone with a key is not a visitor like I said it works for me. Has worked from day 1

You're simply buttressing my points, Aisha.

aisha2:

I dont lie, I dont say what I dont do.
I have little tolerance for nonsense, I dont pretend, everyone in my life will say that much about me, everyone may not like it but they know where we stand, I dont keep malice or hold grudges I am like a mirror.
My inlaws are not visitors, they are family they are free to come and go as they please same way I go to my mother in law, but we always somehow try to alert each other because we are all busy and may not be home when the other drops in unannounced.
I like to harrass my mother in law, I like to poach her jewellery and bags, I also make her prepare ewedu a lot lol so sometimes she hides from me too

Okay.

Lol @ your last sentence! Are you serious?

aisha2:


Go and die

lol,if i catch you there eeh

taryour:



Hmmmm very very true o, to be very realistic if I hear my doorbell and open my door to see a long time friend I haven't seen in years, I would be so damn excited and scream the whole house down. OMG we humans sometimes mostly don't how we will react to things till it happens o.

At the above post I posted earlier will like be done to a persistent person who never listens.

Lol! I get where you're coming from.

EfemenaXY:

You're simply buttressing my points, Aisha.
Okay.
Lol @ your last sentence! Are you serious?

Lol very serious her sense of style no get part two and we are both size 10, so why buy when she has a closet full.
Am her only daughter and daughter in law as well so who she wan give am too?

aisha2:


Go and die

Na wa o! Take it easy o...

EfemenaXY:


You're simply buttressing my points, Aisha.




Okay.

Lol @ your last sentence! Are you serious?

this is the type of girl that will turn the family into 'fire on mountain' lol

EfemenaXY:




Na wa o! Take it easy o...

Oh you saw that too? I intentionally quoted her and waiting for her to quote me like she quoted me on another thread earlier today saying I am acting perfect mum. But here and some other threads she is miss know all.

aisha2:

Lol very serious her sense of style no get part two and we are both size 10, so why buy when she has a closet full.
Am her only daughter and daughter in law as
well so who she wan give am too?

Lucky you.

You remind me of a story I heard long time ago. Daughter working and earning N4,000 a month, but used to "poach" her mum's shoes too work. The mother used to scream, "you take my N5,000 shoe to your N4,000 work!"

EfemenaXY:


Na wa o! Take it easy o...

Abeg I don't have back and forth. Told him politely to get off my case he is carrying his bitterness to follow me around.

taryour:


Oh you saw that too? I intentionally quoted her and waiting for her to quote me like she quoted me on another thread earlier today saying I am acting perfect mum. But here and some other threads she is miss know all.

Biko, Taryour, let's not go into all that, abeg.

You two are my favourite ladies here. Don't want to be caught in the middle.

Okay, I love you both but I'm out of this thread....

EfemenaXY:


Biko, Taryour, let's not go into all that, abeg.

You two are my favourite ladies here. Don't want to be caught in the middle.

Okay, I love you both but I'm out of this thread....

Ok sis no vex jare, make I just respect my self jejely and be quite.

Aisha get belle.
Sign of pregnancy hormone kicking
Babe is on fire!

Compliments everybody

I open door to my visitors.
My momma told me that one important thing I must always do as a human is to be humane.
If I'm busy, I will keep u entertained with d telly and continue with what I'm doing.
If u r a close friend and I'm in d kitchen,oya follow me let's go and cook and gossip.
Of course I know d kind of company I keep and knows d type of people that will knock at my door.

At times I pay my close friend surprise visit if I wanna see d kids or bought somethings for them.
And it's not everytime I give my visitors food.
Water can be ok depending on who and where u r coming from.

taryour:

Oh you saw that too? I intentionally quoted her and waiting for her to quote me like she quoted me on another thread earlier today saying I am acting perfect mum. But here and some other threads she is miss know all.

Awwww, am sorry. I worked in social services for a while so I am sometimes over sensitive on the things single mothers and widows go through, they face so much judgement, condemnation and other in humane treatement. Worse still they start to hate themselves feel inadequate, takes a lot of counselling most times for them to understand that the death was not their fault, the break up and abandonment was not because they were not patient enough as others may tell them.

Worse still is when they powerlessly loose their kids.

On that thread I felt perhaps wrongly that you were going on so much about the mother looking for a way to hang her, my protective instincts kicked in because most times when faced with judgement from in laws the women are to scared to talk so I am used to doing mother hen.

I apologise for going off on you, please forgive that, it wasn't about you but about a system which is very unfair to women.
What hurts the most in working closely with such women is that it is fellow women who promote the unfair practices against women, it is women who force them to drink water from corpse, women who shave their heads, a fellow woman a grandma in this case lost her child then knowing how painful it was denied another woman access to hers. My response was from that frustration and not because it was Taryour
Sorry again

aisha2:


Awwww, am sorry. I worked in social services for a while so I am sometimes over sensitive on the things single mothers and widows go through, they face so much judgement, condemnation and other in humane treatement. Worse still they start to hate themselves feel inadequate, takes a lot of counselling most times for them to understand that the death was not their fault, the break up and abandonment was not because they were not patient enough as others may tell them.

Worse still is when they powerlessly loose their kids.

On that thread I felt perhaps wrongly that you were going on so much about the mother looking for a way to hang her, my protective instincts kicked in because most times when faced with judgement from in laws the women are to scared to talk so I am used to doing mother hen.

I apologise for going off on you, please forgive that, it wasn't about you but about a system which is very unfair to women.

Sorry again

Awww trust me sis its nothing really. You are well appreciated. Lots of hugs for you ma. God bless your handwork and strengthen you.

taryour:

Awww trust me sis its nothing really. You are well appreciated. Lots of hugs for you ma. God bless your handwork and strengthen you.

Thanks dear

EfemenaXY:

Lucky you.
You remind me of a story I heard long time ago. Daughter working and earning N4,000 a month, but used to "poach" her mum's shoes too work. The mother used to scream, "you take my N5,000 shoe to your N4,000 work!"

Lol mine will pretend to be grumbling but she has always wanted a girl to dress up with. I know that and use it to my full advantage lol. She just says " you and ya wahala shey you want me to go nake-d

Aww...

Aisha and Taryour

Except I don't like you much or I'm very busy. Other than that if an August visitor shows up I let them in.

Can be really annoying sonetimes esp on days when you are running low on food and the kids were going to have cereal for dinner while you and hubby are having toast and baked beans but I don't have the heart not to open the door I also will feel bad if I made the person feel unwelcome.

My hubby on the other hand has no qualms about continuing to watch his match even when we have elderly visitors (they are usually the few ppl who drop in unexpected).I shoot him dirty looks from where I am sitting and he does not even look at my face .. He would NEVER visit people without informing them I don't really do that too but he is much more rigid about it than I am.He feels it an intrusion of privacy like most or all of his family members.I am more laid back as I grew up in a home where people always dropped in at all times unannounced.

That is the thing about Nigeria. People think they have a right to your life and home. At least before going to anyone's home, you give them a call. At time some people are not in the mood to entertain guest or at times there is no food in the home. These same guests are the ones who go about bad mouthing you on how you entertained them when they came over.