iseleiyanu:
I need your advice, I have been going out with a girl for over 3yrs, d 2families knew each other well. my Mom do visit a parents. But she is pregnant now bt obviously not for me because she have been seeing her ex boyfriend regular because they stay in d same town.
within me I'm no more interested and I don't know how to tell her mom because she had been so nice to me both in kind and generosity. Right now I'm so confused, she has always be cheating on me, in which she will confess . But now I'm so fed up.
pls I need ur advice how do I take d mater up

50% of all the first born in Nigeria are bastards..smh.. And everyday,another man fathers a bastard..this is actually the reason why it is like that.
Some men are wimps...and this op is a goat..I mean,your fiance is still sleeping with her ex and you are making plans to marry her?..are you a goat?..sorry,I already called you a goat before...so if not for the pregnancy,you'll still go ahead and marry her easily while she'll continue seeing her ex because you are such a mumu being..calling you a goat should be an insult to domestic animals..smh!!!!

Just let's calm down,let him talk to his parents about it first n I tink from deree we can know what to say.

Akinsz:
guy make i ask you this question. What kind of relationship can it be between lion and dog? How will she tell her bf if they had thing together.

iseleiyanu:
I need your advice, I have been going out with a girl for over 3yrs, d 2families knew each other well. my Mom do visit a parents. But she is pregnant now bt obviously not for me because she have been seeing her ex boyfriend regular because they stay in d same town.
within me I'm no more interested and I don't know how to tell her mom because she had been so nice to me both in kind and generosity. Right now I'm so confused, she has always be cheating on me, in which she will confess . But now I'm so fed up.
pls I need ur advice how do I take d mater up

i will advice you do a dna before taking any rash decision. she may/maynot be having an affairs. doing introduction may not be advisable till you are sure of the paternity of the baby. bro, getting married out of pity is not an option here. marriage without trust is also not advisable.

My new year eve 2 cent

repogirl:
Very foolish OP! Your fiancee was cheating on you?

you knew?

You were still sleeping with her and kept up your relationship?

Now that she is pregnant, your eye don clear abi? You wan run?

That baby is your baby because she has said so (even if its a lie), she will also keep sleeping with the ex if you marry her. I dnt have advice for you but for the best, don't marry her yet till she puts to bed and you confam the baby is yours.

Whatever you choose to do after, na u sabi!

LOL

Una don fight before

I tink u let her give birth first to do d DNA test to knw if d child is truely urs .bt u better tink twices if u marry her after knwing d father of d baby cos dere will be no trust in ur marriage n won't even last long.i wil say u tink more abut it

iseleiyanu:
I need your advice, I have been going out with a girl for over 3yrs, d 2families knew each other well. my Mom do visit a parents. But she is pregnant now bt obviously not for me because she have been seeing her ex boyfriend regular because they stay in d same town.
within me I'm no more interested and I don't know how to tell her mom because she had been so nice to me both in kind and generosity. Right now I'm so confused, she has always be cheating on me, in which she will confess . But now I'm so fed up.
pls I need ur advice how do I take d mater up

My friend I was in similar case as yours!
only, I did not know she was cheating, until she was pregnant. I mostly did not have unprotected sex with her but sometime I partially did!
I really liked the girl and we were both avoiding being pregnant (atleast I thought). One day she called me and said she was pregnant and started crying, i was like why are you crying (I was pissed, but could not stand hear her cry), trying to comfort her. She said there was "another guy" and she does not know which of us was responsible. I dropped the call in anger and did not call for two days, meanwhile, I was having sleepless nights. Since we stay in different cities we hardly but calls were regular, I called her over to discuss her plan. I asked how she was doing and who she thinks is responsible, she said me. I asked if she's informed her new guy about the situation, she said yes. That the guy is confused and angry too.

Then I asked what she felt about us, does she want to be with me or the other guy. She said she liked me and did not know why she was with the other guy, I said OK. Then I told her that we can no longer plan a future together not because I can't forgive but because I can't be trying to stop you from cheating. I can not be worrying over where you are or who you are with or what's happening, life too good than for me to be worrying over such stuff. Things will be easier if there is trust. I convinced her to agree on that but we could be friends for the sake of the pregnancy and that she remains my girl friend till the pregnancy is due (To protect the little interest I may have). Then I went to do STD tests.. and I encourage her to do as well.

Agimor:
Why bite what you won't chew?

he wanted to chew but it choked him!

iseleiyanu:


what abt d cheating attitudes

according to you, you knew and did nothing until she got pregnant. So u better continue to deal with it as you were doing before.

Wat is d time frame btw d time both of u had sex, calculate it wel, if it matches d week u had sex. Then brase up man, u jst got served!

iseleiyanu:


Yes I had sex with her.
yes her family and mine are aware of d relationship, Even we are planning introduction at Jan ending
She is claiming I'm responsible

Egbon E lo se test naaa. No need stress. Or accept the baby as an isele iyanu & prepare to buy pampers. U have the right to demand a test since she confessed to seeing her ex so U don't need to feel bad when U inform her U need a test.

/
For the fact that you cannot make a decision on this issue shows that you are not ready for marriage.

You don't even know what you want.

Where do you draw the line?
\

iseleiyanu:


Her mom is aware of d pregnancy, even sent her to hospital for test and status of d foetus

Her mother might arrange with the hospital to give U a result they want so pls DON'T ALLOW THEM TO SELL ZOBO FOR U. Take her to an hospital U can trust she & her Mum must not be aware of the hospital's name or address before U take her there.

Ensure she do not hold private meetings with the doctor during the process of the test.


Feel free to send her back to her family when U find out that the child is not Urs cos I suspect foul play against U here





Finally. They conducted a test without a sample of Ur blood or Ur medical details & said the child belongs to U!!!!! Zobo in the highest order.

iseleiyanu:
I need your advice, I have been going out with a girl for over 3yrs, d 2families knew each other well. my Mom do visit a parents. But she is pregnant now bt obviously not for me because she have been seeing her ex boyfriend regular because they stay in d same town.
within me I'm no more interested and I don't know how to tell her mom because she had been so nice to me both in kind and generosity. Right now I'm so confused, she has always be cheating on me, in which she will confess . But now I'm so fed up.
pls I need ur advice how do I take d mater up

@OP FIRST AND FOREMOST I WOULD GO THE CHRISTIAN WAY PLS READ HEB 13:4 ALSO DONT FORGET IF THE FOUNDATION IS FAULTY THE BUILDING CANNOT STAND YOU MADE THE FIRST MISTAKE OF TAKING HER TO BED BEFORE MARRIAGE SO THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES.
AM MARRIED AND WRITING OUT OF MY EXPERIENCE. BUT AS IT IS THE DEED IS DONE SO WHAT TO DO IS BE CALM AND CALL GOD NOW TO TOUCH HER HEART TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH BUT DONT FIGHT NOR CAUSE UNNECESSARY ISSUES BTW UR FAMILIES.

AND ON THE OTHER HAND BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCKS TOGETHER BEFORE THE FAMILY COMING INTO THE PICTURE HOW WERE YOU GUYS MANAGING ISSUES? IF YOU ACCUSE HER OF CHEATING YOU TOO SHOULD HAVE YOUR OWN FAULTS TOO, AM A MAN AND HAS BEEN THERE EVEN AFTER MARRIAGE SO YOU NEED TO SIT AND THINK THINGS THROUGH BEFORE DECOMMISSIONING THE AFFAIR.
BUT IN ALL CALL ON GOD TO ORDER YOUR STEPS AND ACTIONS.
ALL THE BEST...

Lemme comment first before I get biased reading nairalanders comment
The fault is yours,you said she always cheats and you kept on forgiving her. Is this the kinda person you want to live the rest of your life with?if your answer is in the affirmative which is most unlikely,you need help.

I know guys like you,you feel you can't get any girl better than her and you think she's doing you a favor.Bros grow some balls.

Op stop having pre-marital sex, you won't listen. Now you are looking for advise. As for me I have none for you.

Even if the kid is yours it doesn't mean that you have to marry the mother.

Mother and child are separate entities.

Firstly, how sure are you that you are not responsible for the pregnant.

iseleiyanu:
I need your advice, I have been going out with a girl for over 3yrs, d 2families knew each other well. my Mom do visit a parents. But she is pregnant now bt obviously not for me because she have been seeing her ex boyfriend regular because they stay in d same town.
within me I'm no more interested and I don't know how to tell her mom because she had been so nice to me both in kind and generosity. Right now I'm so confused, she has always be cheating on me, in which she will confess . But now I'm so fed up.
pls I need ur advice how do I take d mater up

Op, u said obviously your Fiancee has been cheating on you. Do u have proof of that? If it is possible to establish that, I don't see why u find it difficult talking to her mum about her daughter's unfaithfulness, hence your decision to back out of d relationship. No man would be blamed for letting go of a relationship if there is an established case of unfaithfulness. But be sincere with us: are u sure u are not trying to excuse away d truth that u are fed up with her and probably interested in someone else? Just asking...

iseleiyanu:


Yes I had sex with her.
yes her family and mine are aware of d relationship, Even we are planning introduction at Jan ending
She is claiming I'm responsible

How possibly could you cope with someone who constantly have sex with the ex-bf nd still come to tell it to ur face??
Are U physically challenged or less privileged.
I swear to God who made me, if any babe try that kind rubbish with me, she go curse the day wey she say yes to me.
What nonsense.

nuges1:
Lemme comment first before I get biased reading nairalanders comment
The fault is yours,you said she always cheats and you kept on forgiving her. Is this the kinda person you want to live the rest of your life with?if your answer is in the affirmative which is most unlikely,you need help.

I know guys like you,you feel you can't get any girl better than her and you think she's doing you a favor.Bros grow some balls.

He's not even concerned about his own health, person carry pvssy go give anoda guy make dem knack am raw, no condoms, e even release inside o, dude knack am so tey, she get belle, she kon carry dt same public toilet come give u make u sef knack....kon still get the effontery tell u say na u get pickin....chineke!!!!
Some guys dey fall hand I swear.

kilodese:


My friend I was in similar case as yours!
only, I did not know she was cheating, until she was pregnant. I mostly did not have unprotected sex with her but sometime I partially did!
I really liked the girl and we were both avoiding being pregnant (atleast I thought). One day she called me and said she was pregnant and started crying, i was like why are you crying (I was pissed, but could not stand hear her cry), trying to comfort her. She said there was "another guy" and she does not know which of us was responsible. I dropped the call in anger and did not call for two days, meanwhile, I was having sleepless nights. Since we stay in different cities we hardly but calls were regular, I called her over to discuss her plan. I asked how she was doing and who she thinks is responsible, she said me. I asked if she's informed her new guy about the situation, she said yes. That the guy is confused and angry too.

Then I asked what she felt about us, does she want to be with me or the other guy. She said she liked me and did not know why she was with the other guy, I said OK. Then I told her that we can no longer plan a future together not because I can't forgive but because I can't be trying to stop you from cheating. I can not be worrying over where you are or who you are with or what's happening, life too good than for me to be worrying over such stuff. Things will be easier if there is trust. I convinced her to agree on that but we could be friends for the sake of the pregnancy and that she remains my girl friend till the pregnancy is due (To protect the little interest I may have). Then I went to do STD tests.. and I encourage her to do as well.

I'm d fool here, my tot was I could change her cheating attitudes, she ve cheated on me like 3 times tot I could change her
But her parents are now aware of d whole story.

Emaprince:
50% of all the first born in Nigeria are bastards..smh.. And everyday,another man fathers a bastard..this is actually the reason why it is like that.
Some men are wimps...and this op is a goat..I mean,your fiance is still sleeping with her ex and you are making plans to marry her?..are you a goat?..sorry,I already called you a goat before...so if not for the pregnancy,you'll still go ahead and marry her easily while she'll continue seeing her ex because you are such a mumu being..calling you a goat should be an insult to domestic animals..smh!!!!

lmaoo

op, one single question: how are you so sure you are not the one who impregnated her?
cheating is completely wrong but the pregnancy could also be yours
I will suggest, u postpone the engagement. wait till she delivers, then go for a paternity test, before breaking up or sealing up your promises 2 her by being a single dad or give her d ring.
u cant break up with her abruptly...a growing fetus is now involved.. thread with caution. so yur name wont be soiled afterwards

After licking her dry,you want to shift to a fresh blood.Can you tell the house the number of times you've slept with her.How do you know that you're not responsible for the pregnancy?Accept your responsibility except if you can ascertain through genuine means that the pregnancy isn't yours

iseleiyanu:


Yes I had sex with her.
yes her family and mine are aware of d relationship, Even we are planning introduction at Jan ending
She is claiming I'm responsible

How do u knw, dat pregnancy is nt urs? Only a lady cn tell u the father of her child. Just tell her no mata wat u wil stand by her so dat she cn tell u if u r responsible or nt. Dnt 4get 2 record her ans 4 evidence

.

Amelian:
op, one single question: how are you so sure you are not the one who impregnated her?
cheating is completely wrong but the pregnancy could also be yours
I will suggest, u postpone the engagement. wait till she delivers, then go for a paternity test, before breaking up or sealing up your promises 2 her by being a single dad or give her d ring.
u cant break up with her abruptly...a growing fetus is now involved.. thread with caution. so yur name wont be soiled afterwards

mtcheew!!!.....which name will be soiled?...so if a man dumps a sslut,his name will be soiled?...will you advice your brother/son to go ahead and marry a woman that keeps sleeping around to the extent of getting pregnant?

If you guys were engaged & you slept with her, & she tells you that you impregnated her, then that stands. You can't run away from it. You must accept responsibility for your actions as a man.

Bringing up her promiscuity now is not an excuse. That is what we call "a case lacking locus standi" in Law. Now You can't proof that you are not responsible, insofar as you had slept with her.

And don't even think that abandoning her now will solve the problem. She might cry to God, which is even the worse.

My advice: just suspend the marriage for now. Let her give birth, go for DNA, before you either continue then or you back out. So that even heaven will bare you witness. Good luck. Pls let's be wise and learn from the mistakes of others.

iseleiyanu:


I'm d fool here, my tot was I could change her cheating attitudes, she ve cheated on me like 3 times tot I could change her
But her parents are now aware of d whole story.

Trust you cannot change such people. I am sure you forgave her because you were scared of loosing her, but such people are not worth keeping, unless you wan die quick!

tlops:


Trust you cannot change such people. I am sure you forgave her because you were scared of loosing her, but such people are not worth keeping, unless you wan die quick!

U got me right!

Follow ur mind on any decision you make/take...... Also filter from opinions and suggestion here.

This is a case of one chance on a BRT lane

kilodese:


My friend I was in similar case as yours!
only, I did not know she was cheating, until she was pregnant. I mostly did not have unprotected sex with her but sometime I partially did!
I really liked the girl and we were both avoiding being pregnant (atleast I thought). One day she called me and said she was pregnant and started crying, i was like why are you crying (I was pissed, but could not stand hear her cry), trying to comfort her. She said there was "another guy" and she does not know which of us was responsible. I dropped the call in anger and did not call for two days, meanwhile, I was having sleepless nights. Since we stay in different cities we hardly but calls were regular, I called her over to discuss her plan. I asked how she was doing and who she thinks is responsible, she said me. I asked if she's informed her new guy about the situation, she said yes. That the guy is confused and angry too.

Then I asked what she felt about us, does she want to be with me or the other guy. She said she liked me and did not know why she was with the other guy, I said OK. Then I told her that we can no longer plan a future together not because I can't forgive but because I can't be trying to stop you from cheating. I can not be worrying over where you are or who you are with or what's happening, life too good than for me to be worrying over such stuff. Things will be easier if there is trust. I convinced her to agree on that but we could be friends for the sake of the pregnancy and that she remains my girl friend till the pregnancy is due (To protect the little interest I may have). Then I went to do STD tests.. and I encourage her to do as well.

How did it end/go with her?