I need advice on this issue.

Late November 2014, i met a well known guy on nairalander, after seeing the cool picture, and reading his posts, summed with the series of commendation on his level of intelligence, i added him on BBM chatting platform. At first, he seems distanced and after one or two more days, we began to chat well. As the conversation moved on and on, i got intrigued by his personality. I saw intelligence at its peak, care, gentle easy going guy and i said to myself this is this is the guy, i will like to be mine.

6th December, i informed this guy that i want to visit him and spend few time. He never took me serious, laughed and hung up. I left my house i far north or middle belt. I arrived late around 5:00PM and called him to inform him of my arrival, he never took me serious, till i handed the phone to a passerby to talk to him. He came down to the park from work to pick me up and then took me home.

This guy is a clear definition of the ladies man, every morning during my stay he boils me water to take my bath, he cleaned my shoe twice during my stay, we eat outside in eateries as he does not cook, he took me to his place of work and gave me all the care a lady could ask for. However i was bothered, he never tried to sleep with me, even when i gave him the green-light couple of times. I left his place fourth day and he paid for my Transport back and bought me the most lovely Indian dress / Watch, also called at intervals till the end of my trip.


SECOND EXPERIENCE
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I visited him on the 24th Last month. It was my decision to visit him. He paid for my flight down to his place.

During my second visit, he showered me more love, care , he even helped me loosen my hair and spend hours with me at the saloon, always wake up morning hours to boil water for me to take my bath, he was just there for me. For the first time i took reading to be fun, i felt and saw reason why i need to be independent, he made me able to recite the whole country in West Africa and their capitals, i was so free to read his messages and chats, even though i was scared of him reading mine, this he never did. He taught me knew things....

I left his place 30th December back home.

Now what bothers me is, why he refused all my green-lights ? Not even romance, i kissed him once and he just stared at me like something crazy happened. yet he never responded.

Am i trying to hard? I know Sex does not Equates Love but why did he not respond to my green lights? If you must know he admitted to me he had romance before in the past, so i dont see why he acted this way he did. Why can a guy show a lady so much love, care and attention without asking sex in return?

HE IS A NICE GUY...The guy is trying to take it slow, If he had tried rushing into sex,may be you would have called him an immature guy. Besides, If you really want him to make love to you,you have to step up your "art of seduction".

Maybe-just Maybe he's not into you, or he's scared of you; you know, fear of the unknown.

there are 4 things..
first... he maybe impotent..
second.. he may not find you attractive..
third ....he may be afraid,thinking u be mammy water
fourth...maybe he is a true xtian

He is a guy not a green light detector.



BTW, You think say nah everybody ready 4 sex?

All we can do is guess. Maybe you should ask him instead

Damn! Are you for real cos if this your writeup is so real, I THINK you need to stop giving him green lights as it might make him take you as a naughty thing. Judging from your texts, there are lotta guys out there like that, they are such that pick every little action and analyzes it. He's gonna come right after you if you act like an urban nun, all you need to do is keep him close and check out what's gonna happen next.

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Well, I just read the thread about HUSBAND SCARCITY, guess this is something else.

Man, you're a genius

faqman:
there are 4 things..
first... he maybe impotent..
second.. he may not find you attractive..
third ....he may be afraid,thinking u be mammy water
fourth...maybe he is a true xtian

Watch it he has a fiance somewhere and doesn't want to be tied down emotionally with you. Be content with been a friend to him

SeverusSnape:
HE IS A NICE GUY...The guy is trying to take it slow, If he had tried rushing into sex,may be you would have called him an immature guy. Besides, If you really want him to make love to you,you have to step up your "art of seduction".

Maybe-just Maybe he's not into you, or he's scared of you; you know, fear of the unknown.

Then why pay my transport fare down to visit you second time?

ceny6:
Watch it he has a fiance somewhere and doesn't want to be tied down emotionally with you. Be content with been a friend to him

He has no fiance, as he his not really of age just early Twenties, however he his successful, even as a final year student he his working already.

DesGirl:

Then why pay my transport fare down to visit you second time?

Well, Maybe he finds you interesting and fun to be with...or just keeping you in suspense, I do this atimes, some guys like suspense filled scenarios like this. It's obvious he's succeding in the game.

faqman:
there are 4 things..
first... he maybe impotent..
second.. he may not find you attractive..
third ....he may be afraid,thinking u be mammy water
fourth...maybe he is a true xtian

Laughing.

First, he his not as i saw that Thing was strong during the day.
Second, i cant say.
Third, i cant say.
Fourth, He is irreligious / wild atheist.

Now d guy is acting undesperate..ur complaining.... If he had sex with you first instance, you would still complain..what is wrong with ladies sef.....

DesGirl:

Laughing.

First, he his not as i saw that Thing was strong during the day.
Second, i cant say.
Third, i cant say.
Fourth, He is irreligious / wild atheist.

ok...maybe u should ask him....
but that will be gross

My advice? Leave the guy for a better lady that cherishes a nice guy.

Hehehe ah smell lies! buh wait a minute does dis kind of guys still exist?

SeverusSnape:

Well, Maybe he finds you interesting and fun to be with...or just keeping you in suspense, I do this atimes, some guys like suspense filled scenarios like this. It's obvious he's succeding in the game.

Now you getting me scared. Well i have not stayed with him for long. But he doesn't look much of a player. He his so shy, and cant even say somethings until i say them first then he gathers that confidence to talk on such issues.

wenson:
Hehehe ah smell lies! buh wait a minute does dis kind of guys still exist?

we do exist, we're just rare

jmoore:
My advice? Leave the guy for a better lady that cherishes a nice guy.

Exactly

DesGirl:

Now you getting me scared. Well i have not stayed with him for long. But he doesn't look much of a player. He his so shy, and cant even say somethings until i say them first then he gathers that confidence to talk on such issues.

HMMMMMM... I think he's being cautious,nothing more. Just take it easy on him,but don't force him into sex, you may regret doing it.

They guy is a shy guy joor
He is afraid to make a move, worried abt his performance, if he can satisfy you.

DesGirl:

Now you getting me scared. Well i have not stayed with him for long. But he doesn't look much of a player. He his so shy, and cant even say somethings until i say them first then he gathers that confidence to talk on such issues.

then you have to lead him on, but subtly. Don't try to rush him into kisses or intimacy, else it would scream desperation (you are pretty close enough), and you'd scare him off. If he doesn't respond to your flirting, leave him alone.

Some girls are so used to being reactive that they are at a loss as to what to do when faced with situations when they have to take the initiative

Happy new year, Mister

Oahray:
then you have to lead him on, but subtly. Don't try to rush him into kisses or intimacy, else it would scream desperation (you are pretty close enough), and you'd scare him off. If he doesn't respond to your flirting, leave him alone.

Some girls are so used to being reactive that they are at a loss as to what to do when faced with situations when they have to take the initiative

Let's say your story is true....this I doubt very much.

Your actions were indeed very silly. Visiting a total stranger?? What were you thinking??

striktlymi:
Let's say your story is true....this I doubt very much.
Your actions were indeed very silly. Visiting a total stranger?? What were you thinking??

Thank you jor, I don't believe the story one bit

Zeemoor:
Happy new year, Mister

Thanks... A great year to you too, one day at a time

Oahray:
Thanks... A great year to you too, one day at a time

well, if you have been flashing green lights to him, and he doesn't seem to have noticed you.. just express your feelings to him by talking to him....



he might just be nervous about being around him

faqman:
there are 4 things..
first... he maybe impotent..
second.. he may not find you attractive..
third ....he may be afraid,thinking u be mammy water
fourth...maybe he is a true xtian

5th. Gay

u re probably giving him red light instead of green

or he is probably not seeing any light

u need to up ur act of seduction

maybe he is a virgin

Cutehector4u:
Now d guy is acting undesperate..ur complaining.... If he had sex with you first instance, you would still complain..what is wrong with ladies sef.....

was just about to say the same thing.