iyabodeh:
Depends

story

she has a competitive spirit

Wow!!!!! Incredible stories that makes me shiver..
She must be a possessive woman or perhaps a domineering one...
Really... They are husband and wife for Gods sake and that makes them one....
She had better seek counselling lest she gets eaten Up by her envy that could cause a damage only God can solve through series of prayers and fasting or She finds herself replaced by another....

sophy09:
I know a lady whose husband was promoted as a project manager in an oil and gas company in Canada. The guy called us to come and celebrate with him because within two months of landing in Canada he got a job in the company that promoted him within 6 months of working with them. The wife on the other hand has been in Canada for 5 years. She initially came to study for her masters. When she finished her studies, she tried to get her permanent residency through Canadian Experience but she was told she did not have enough experience. She was advised to do menial jobs in order to get her papers, which she did. She got her papers through that avenue. She tried getting a job in her field but she has not gotten any yet only data entry or customer service jobs. She brought the husband to Canada and within 2 months of coming to Canada the guy got a job.

My wife since i cant control thought of her heart if possible i will give her the thing & look for another.

chiibekee:
Yes if the husband is selfish

I agree. And this man looks more selfish than sensitive. He has reached the top of the stair and is 'throwing a party' forgeting his other leg at the bottom of the stairs. Most one legged people I know are in physioteraphy not throwing parties. Selfish dude.

Reference:


I am speaking about ideals here and shutting the door to excuses no matter who is doing them even me. The fact that many marraiges are faulty doesn't make it ideal. Envy is destructive, (sorry) period. If I envied my wife for any reason I have a conscience that will not justify or re-route it but will condemn me immediately. Those are the ideals we should seek. The institution of marraige is just too weighty to be burdened by personal emotions and individualistic ambitions.

Ideals for me are not reality. I live in the REAL HUMAN WORLD, when people pretend they are not envious it is either hypocrisy or delusional It is like saying human beings should not get angry or quarrel or fight. In the real world if yo put two children down and give them food they will check to see they are not "cheated" they will question why one has more meat or whatever. That is the most NATURAL human behaviour. Men(and women ) want to have what their peers have

. Your "period" approach just suggests that you are opinionated and inflexible and ( in my opinion) you are also wrong. Envy is the most natural thing for a human and to say otherwise is like criticizing shit for smelling or to be a profound hypocrite.

Were they legally married?? If not.... The lady might be in fear of being dumped..

sophy09:
I know a lady whose husband was promoted as a project manager in an oil and gas company in Canada. The guy called us to come and celebrate with him because within two months of landing in Canada he got a job in the company that promoted him within 6 months of working with them. The wife on the other hand has been in Canada for 5 years. She initially came to study for her masters. When she finished her studies, she tried to get her permanent residency through Canadian Experience but she was told she did not have enough experience. She was advised to do menial jobs in order to get her papers, which she did. She got her papers through that avenue. She tried getting a job in her field but she has not gotten any yet only data entry or customer service jobs. She brought the husband to Canada and within 2 months of coming to Canada the guy got a job.
On the day of the celebration, she was complaining bitterly. She compared herself to her husband saying the guy does not even have masters. This surprised me. Can a wife be envious of her husband?

I go talk later.

mynairatime:
My wife since i cant control thought of her heart if possible i will give her the thing & look for another.

Does anyone understand this man?

Only women with very low mentality can,it's unthinkable. Your husband's success is a success to you and women should view it that way.

omonnakoda:


Ideals for me are not reality. I live in the REAL HUMAN WORLD, when people pretend they are not envious it is either hypocrisy or delusional It is like saying human beings should not get angry or quarrel or fight. In the real world if yo put two children down and give them food they will check to see they are not "cheated" they will question why one has more meat or whatever. That is the most NATURAL human behaviour. Men(and women ) want to have what their peers have

. Your "period" approach just suggests that you are opinionated and inflexible and ( in my opinion) you are also wrong. Envy is the most natural thing for a human and to say otherwise is like criticizing shit for smelling or to be a profound hypocrite.

Okay. I give up. Envy is okay. Its...fantastic.

justi4jesu:
Love and jealousy are two emotions as different as night and day and one cannot imagine them in the same sentence and yet we constantly hear of people who are jealous of their partner’s success. Born of low self-esteem, this feeling usually starts out as possessiveness, especially when the perpetrator inwardly feels unworthy to have such a partner and wants to keep them dependent on them.

Spot on.

Daniel058:
Were they legally married?? If not.... The lady might be in fear of being dumped..

This was the suspicion in my first post. That it is a business thingy in which one party is about to cash in on his shares. I bet the whole Canadian adventure is either the foundation of the relationship or is the dominant theme around the dinner table.

MizMyColi:
Well generally speaking, I think it's okay to feel slightly envious (emphasis on slightly) but she must watch it! She must not give the devil (if any) a chance.

Please sis, it's not okay no matter the justification..Couples who find themselves running on competition mode should really reconsider their feelings, and where they emanate from.
Competition is only healthy when it is working for you, not against you, as is the case when it happens in a marriage.
But the competition happens probably because of other challenges in the relationship.
For instance, there are those who were mistreated by their spouses when they did not have a source of income.
That creates the feeling that the money your partner has is his or hers and when one gets an opportunity to make their own, the likelihood is that he or she will try to outdo the other.
The other possible reason is when one partner has a low self-esteem, and therefore feels threatened by the one doing well, or better.
This kind of person needs to be assured of his or her role, even if it is of little or no direct monetary value.
The partners should also plan together on all aspects related to running the home so that no one feels left out.
Finally, there is the very sensitive issue of how roles are shared in the home.
Traditionally, men were providers, while women were in control of the home.
So my sis, Jealousy and envy are two of the most common—yet negative and use-less—emotions many of us have. It's not healthy and I'm talking from experience. It's evil, time-consuming and destructive. Please don't let it come into your mind.

Yes, most especially when she has assumed the position of a bread winner in the family issuing orders like military officers and insisting on implementing every bit of her orders regardless of whether right or wrong.

Reference:


Okay. I give up. Envy is okay. Its...fantastic.

I do not know whether envy is good or bad what I know is IT IS HUMAN
NATURE

Is it good or bad to die


There are different kinds of minds. Some think a thing is either black or white Such minds only understand dichotomies and polarities. There are others that understand that there is a lot in between black and white and that a thing may be neither good nor bad.

 I bet the whole Canadian adventure is either the foundation of the relationship or is the dominant theme around the dinner table.

And I bet she used to delight in reminding the "husband" at every turn how she brought his FOB ass from Nigeria.

She must have been prepared for his getting a job right from when he applied na. Adim sure she will make her peace with it. I can't imagine how annoying it must be to see somebody succeed with little effort at what you've been struggling to do and failing.

naturally:
Its better for her to start thanking God. What if the hubby has no job and he is becoming a burden/liability to her? Women sha

words of wisdom

lolaxavier:



Does anyone understand this man?

If u are a professor of english, if the message isnot for u then u cant understand. Those who own it got it!

justi4jesu:
Love and jealousy are two emotions as different as night and day and one cannot imagine them in the same sentence and yet we constantly hear of people who are jealous of their partner’s success. Born of low self-esteem, this feeling usually starts out as possessiveness, especially when the perpetrator inwardly feels unworthy to have such a partner and wants to keep them dependent on them.

You just nailed it.
She knew that with that job she can't dictate to the man like someone she just pulled out from a third world country.
The day you start taking monthly stipend from your wife ,your name automatically becomes Mr Sorry.

eckersley:
YES. YES. YES
But ladies do it in a low key/undercover manner

They will employ all manners of guilt-tripping tactics

Since u got promoted,
1. You no longer care for me the MOTHER of your children

2. You just abandoned your family

3. You no longer pray/go to church, neglecting God, Most High
who gave u the promotion and can TAKE IT AWAY IN THE TWINKLE OF AN EYE

blah blah blah

Let a guy say any of the BS she said, and u'll see them feministas and pseudo-women
rights activists shouting

He's intimidated by her success
He's not a real man
He's jealous
She shd divorce his unsupportive ar.se
Blah blah blah

All these feministas and pseudo-women rights activists ehn, una be PROPER WINCH/KPIANCE

Aptly said.....

AreaFada2:
.

Hahahaha.

I yaff catchted you. Na nyanga ring be dat.

Seriously me talk better, let me whisper in your ear, amebor alert!

Shey you sabi dat mango tree for junction? 5pm.

Shey you like Mama Nkechi rice?

no i nor like am

eckersley:
YES. YES. YES
But ladies do it in a low key/undercover manner

They will employ all manners of guilt-tripping tactics

Since u got promoted,
1. You no longer care for me the MOTHER of your children

2. You just abandoned your family

3. You no longer pray/go to church, neglecting God, Most High
who gave u the promotion and can TAKE IT AWAY IN THE TWINKLE OF AN EYE

blah blah blah

Let a guy say any of the BS she said, and u'll see them feministas and pseudo-women
rights activists shouting

He's intimidated by her success
He's not a real man
He's jealous
She shd divorce his unsupportive ar.se
Blah blah blah

All these feministas and pseudo-women rights activists ehn, una be PROPER WINCH/KPIANCE

guy you've said it all. I think i may have a sister that is showing glimpses of this feminist trait. I pray it's not it though.

yes

The woman is nothing but a witch.

justi4jesu:
Love and jealousy are two emotions as different as night and day and one cannot imagine them in the same sentence and yet we constantly hear of people who are jealous of their partner’s success. Born of low self-esteem, this feeling usually starts out as possessiveness, especially when the perpetrator inwardly feels unworthy to have such a partner and wants to keep them dependent on them.

very correct.Shes the type that prefers to be above while her spouse either depends on her or seek her favors.Mind you OP said "she brought the man from naija to canada and with 6 months...hes become a VIP while shes still struggling to attain her career.

There are many of such women in the corporate sector.Mean biatches if they dont have their way.

If i were the man....the full benefits that goes with the job offer il keep mum about it.For the sake of peace and his safety. Ever heard of spouses that rid their partners simply because of Life Policie Insurance?.

Meldrick:
Ahhh, Yes oooo. It happens very well. Especially when both of them are working class people and it is so prevalent these days. My friend was making the same complain to me, how his wife had a fight with him and was openly telling him they are in competition. Anytime properties are bought, she wants the property in her name. Immediately the guy began his Masters programme, she was feeling very uneasy and insisting she wants to begin too. I really wonder what marriages are turning into.

welcome your friend to the world of Alpha female.There woud only be peace if she have her way.Advise your friend to be more discreet.

Am dating one presently she always get annoyed whenever I buy things for myself or. Archive something

FolarinLondon:
A friend had this experience and he is really getting tire of the whole game.

If this guy buys an IPad today, his wife ll buy her own the following day. Whatever he buys, his wife ll make sure she gets her own and as we chat here right now, everything in that house is in double double and the husband who happens to be my close friend is complaining bitterely

Guess What! They r both working for the same company and the husband got sacked last year but only for his wife to offer to buy car

As long as shes shinning above her mate (spouse) no problem and there will be peace.If you guy complains to her friend,they would sum it and said hes the one feelng insecure.

This is a common thing with Nigerian women (and to a large extent black women), they carry lots of insecurity around, and these insecurities usually translate into aggressive behaviour, envy, violence & lots of other vices.

A typical Nigerian woman in the west is usually brainwashed due to their weak minded ness & gullibility. Add that to her plethora of insecurities, & you've got a really lethal combination.

Nigerian women in the west yearn to play the role of a man, they want to be the man, they want to be the main financial source in the family, to enable them subdue, control their husbands and behaviour whichever way they want... That's exactly the case of this woman, unfortunately for her, the man she brought from Nigeria, had brighter prospects than her, he was untameable and seeing the strides he's making, scares the shi*t out of her, because all of a sudden, she realises he could actually dump her if she isn't on her best behaviour.

Every normal woman should be happy of her husband's progress. I understand a man being envious of his wife, because he's a man & wants to remain the man but an envious wife is dangerous wife.

It is not a travel arrangement. They were dating in the university and after graduation the lady study visa arrived they decided to get married before she came to do her masters. I understand where the lady is coming from. Coming to foreign country to study, you paid international fee which is really high, not to talk of the feeding and accommodation. After school, you cannot get a profitable job, employers telling you you need Canadian experience. You do menial job just to get your permanent resident and then to get a job seems difficult. Her husband without Canadian experience gets a job within 2 months of moving to Canada. I mean it hurts. Who knows the kind of debt she has to pay.
Oh well, I am happy for them both because they seem like a nice couple.