laykorn:

Why didn't anyone report him to the authorities
Ayamlaykorn

nt aware of d tricks d motherfucker guy was playing, cos we were very little jss 1 student we just tot he didnt wants us 2 hide sumfin in d front pocket, pple are just hrtless nt even finking of d future or even dere 2morrow

laykorn:
Seun, ishilove and lalasticlala please help move this to the front-page. People need to see this. This 54 year old impregnates 9 year old thing is getting too rampant abeg.

Onegai, if only you could add a link to your first post. You know our people are very lazy.
Ayamlaykorn

Thanks. I wrote the piece myself, so I'm afraid there's no link for it. All the stories in it were real, taken from friends and relatives I knew. Some I had to leave out because it was still too traumatising for the people involved.

I don't understand why Lordmykel, whoever that is, is joking with this matter and trying to trivialise it. I get it, he's probably guilty of same and is using whatever 'playful' means to save face. I think that's silly. It's much better to be quiet, you don't have to comment on every thread. This is no trivial issue.


@ op, the level of abuse in this country is way overboard. It has gotten from bad to worse overnight with the rotten stories of older men sleeping with younger girls. And it is because the generation before us has chosen to keep quiet about it for so long that it has eaten deep into the fabrics of our community. One in five girls in Nigeria has been abused (I stand to be corrected) mostly from cousins, neighbours, uncles, brother's friends etc

I've gotten so scared of this abuse tingy, I was carrying a 2 year old girl in church on Sunday. Some guys, about 12/13 years old wanted to carry her and relieve me, I vehemently refused. Not so much because I wanted the girl all to myself but because I was scared.

Parents, please don't shy away from this, it is real and it happens everywhere. EDUCATE YOUR KIDS!

Parents ought to take proper care of their children. I always advise every busy mum to at least bath their children especially the female child themselves before leaving for work ,in this way you will know if anything is wrong in her pubic area.
I have this story to share which my sister in-law told me sometime last year.

She had an uncle who is an ex –soldier whom her mum respected a lot and even call her daddy after the dead of her father.
She said the first time her uncle engage her in the act was when her mum told her to go to this uncle and collect some money, the uncle took her to his bed room spread a white bedspread on the bed pull off her pants and force himself on her,the white bedspread was stained with blood and she was crying unfortunately his wife was returning from market and the man sneak out the little girl through the window.
From then on each time her mum send her to this uncle she try to protest and she will be force to go and each time she go there the man must do the same thing, she always return home crying but her mum always think it is becos she didn’t want to go that is why she is always crying.
She developed pain on her laps close to her pubic area that took almost a month to heal, but because her mum was blind she could not actually spot out what was wrong.
This act continues for quite some time.

She said this thought came to her some years ago while in Abuja when she understood what it means to be a virgin mind you she is now 23, that was when the thought of who actually deflowered her came to her mind.
She said to herself I have only dated two guys in my life and I can’t boldly say I was deflowered by any of this guyz that was when she began to have a rethink of what her uncle did to her and she said she cried for three days and the fourth day she had to travel from Abuja to edo state to relate the story to her mum her mum could not but cried uncontrollably. It was painful.
Her mum asked her daughter to forgive her, from that day till now the mum don’t greet the uncle again, she said each time he hears his voice this story always come to her mind.

I advise parents to take care of their female children even when there is house help find time to discuss with your children.

Onegai:


Thanks. I wrote the piece myself, so I'm afraid there's no link for it. All the stories in it were real, taken from friends and relatives I knew. Some I had to leave out because it was still too traumatising for the people involved.

Oh no! I wasn't talking about what you wrote. I know the stories are real. In fact, I know worse stories myself.

I'm talking about a link to the page where one can get the book, so people just click and pay instead of having to search for it.
Ayamlaykorn

fr3do:
Beautiful! Parents in Edo state need this.

You mean Parents from Lagos state, Oyo state and Ogun state

80% of such news comes from that area bro

Onegai:
This weekend, my exuberant 3-yr old nephew was sitting down, hands in his lap. Grandma asked him "do you want to wee-wee?" And our baby replied "I'm protecting my privates"



You see, my brother gifted them with a book written by Nomthi Odukoya titled "No! Don't touch me there". It's a lovely book, talking about child abuse, teaching children how to understand what is right and wrong and how to react.

Now, before you go "my child is perfectly safe, covered by the blood of Jesus" and check out of this thread, let me tell you a few things and share a few personal stories.

Child abuse is one of the most common crimes in Nigeria. It is so common, that almost everyone you know has been abused. I'm not exaggarating. Let's share some real life examples.

1. VVF, where girls too young are having babies. I remember a thread about it and people living there said young girls selling Fura de Nunu will be lured by older men, high on Burantashi, to be attacked, whilst the child wept.

2. Child street hawkers, who are constantly attacked, yet not one has come forward to name their attacker.

3. My friend in primary school, the smallest girl in her class, for 6 months, a bigger girl in her class would follow her to the bathroom, pull her panties down and handle her for 30 mins every day and warn her not to tell anyone. This started age 6 and for 25 years after, my friend couldn't go to the bathroom easily and would stain herself. She also doesn't like having female friends till now.

4. That horrendous video some years back, of 2 children having Bleep in a face-me-i-face-you quarters. Instead of someone stopping them, he filmed it and shared it. The number of Nigerian men that happily shared and viewed that video stunned me.

5. Going swimming at Ikoyi club. The instructor (a man in his 20s) picked a girl to teach (the littlest girl, 14 and she looked like 10 years old). Every time he was supposed to put his hand on her waist, he would instead drop his hand lower and try and slide 2 fingers under her swimsuit towards her privates. He kept doing it all afternoon and the child got more upset but didn't know what to do. He kept smiling. That man is now a father of children and a prayer warrior.

6. A cousin's memory at age 5, where one houseboy was sweeping her dad's room and she used to tag after him. With no-one there, he quickly lifted her dress, pulled his pants down and rubbed his kini all over her privates till she felt a liquid, thereafter he made her change her undies and continued sweeping like nothing happened. She wept when she told her hubby this story at age 33.

7. The boy in my ex's group of friends who boasted that he had deflowered a lot of maids his mum and grandma brough to the house. Most of them underage girls.

8. The cousin who was one of the most popular boys in Unilag and was getting "enough" from girls, who came home and at night, pounced on a relative of ours (still in secondary school). She cried out and ran away and her mum told her to keep quiet and never speak of it again. Now a very wealthy man and father.

9. The Uni of Ife student who, because I came to his dad's bookstore to buy some books and sounded smart, smuggled a love letter through his neighbour (a classmate) to me on Val's day, detailing how much he loved my "walk, talk and just wanted to devour me". I was 14. I gave that letter to my mum in fear.

10. The number of people who will sit down in a cramped bus beside girls in school uniform and be doing elbow nudge to rub against their bosom. And those people think there's nothing wrong with such behaviour.

Have you noticed from all these stories, that these attacks happened everywhere you thought your child was SAFE? Even at my former office, I know what happened to the PA's daughter (8 yrs old) by another co-worker (in his 40s) and after rubbing her chest all over pretending to help her get over a fall, he said "don't tell your mummy o".

We need to educate our babies that there is a type of touching that is wrong. Kids can telll when something upsets them but don't know how to tell adults "I'm scared of another grownup", after all they are taught to respect all adults. Otherwise, they won't complain and as adults, will tell you horror stories and we will keep hearing tales like "15 year old impregnated by 45-year old man" and blaming the girl. Did she know it was wrong, did anyone ever tell her "keep your body to yourself?

I don't work for TFOLC, I just wish parents would buy this book, it costs N350 on Konga and teach their kids what's right and how to handle it. My nephew won't let me touch him in the loo and I'm happy (infact if you ask him what should he do if someone touches him anywhere naughty, his shout of "noooooooo" can wake up a ghost).

Child abuse is rampant in our society. Please start from babyhood to tell your kids to make people respect their bodies and keep reinforcing this until adulthood. Don't let your baby one day grow up and say "Mummy/Daddy, I wish you had known what happened to me and stopped it".

Pls how can I get the book,am in Gusau Zamfara state.

Interesting...dis reminds me of hw 2 sisters who wia much older dan my big brodas tried all day 2 taste my tonic wen I wz much younger(almost like a toy den). I left my family in Lag den 2 spend my Holliday wit gradma in d villa. I wz always scared weneva dey visit my home den but cud nt spk up due 2 fear

I

Onegai:
This weekend, my exuberant 3-yr old nephew was sitting down, hands in his lap. Grandma asked him "do you want to wee-wee?" And our baby replied "I'm protecting my privates"



You see, my brother gifted them with a book written by Nomthi Odukoya titled "No! Don't touch me there". It's a lovely book, talking about child abuse, teaching children how to understand what is right and wrong and how to react.

Now, before you go "my child is perfectly safe, covered by the blood of Jesus" and check out of this thread, let me tell you a few things and share a few personal stories.

Child abuse is one of the most common crimes in Nigeria. It is so common, that almost everyone you know has been abused. I'm not exaggarating. Let's share some real life examples.

1. VVF, where girls too young are having babies. I remember a thread about it and people living there said young girls selling Fura de Nunu will be lured by older men, high on Burantashi, to be attacked, whilst the child wept.

2. Child street hawkers, who are constantly attacked, yet not one has come forward to name their attacker.

3. My friend in primary school, the smallest girl in her class, for 6 months, a bigger girl in her class would follow her to the bathroom, pull her panties down and handle her for 30 mins every day and warn her not to tell anyone. This started age 6 and for 25 years after, my friend couldn't go to the bathroom easily and would stain herself. She also doesn't like having female friends till now.

4. That horrendous video some years back, of 2 children having Bleep in a face-me-i-face-you quarters. Instead of someone stopping them, he filmed it and shared it. The number of Nigerian men that happily shared and viewed that video stunned me.

5. Going swimming at Ikoyi club. The instructor (a man in his 20s) picked a girl to teach (the littlest girl, 14 and she looked like 10 years old). Every time he was supposed to put his hand on her waist, he would instead drop his hand lower and try and slide 2 fingers under her swimsuit towards her privates. He kept doing it all afternoon and the child got more upset but didn't know what to do. He kept smiling. That man is now a father of children and a prayer warrior.

6. A cousin's memory at age 5, where one houseboy was sweeping her dad's room and she used to tag after him. With no-one there, he quickly lifted her dress, pulled his pants down and rubbed his kini all over her privates till she felt a liquid, thereafter he made her change her undies and continued sweeping like nothing happened. She wept when she told her hubby this story at age 33.

7. The boy in my ex's group of friends who boasted that he had deflowered a lot of maids his mum and grandma brough to the house. Most of them underage girls.

8. The cousin who was one of the most popular boys in Unilag and was getting "enough" from girls, who came home and at night, pounced on a relative of ours (still in secondary school). She cried out and ran away and her mum told her to keep quiet and never speak of it again. Now a very wealthy man and father.

9. The Uni of Ife student who, because I came to his dad's bookstore to buy some books and sounded smart, smuggled a love letter through his neighbour (a classmate) to me on Val's day, detailing how much he loved my "walk, talk and just wanted to devour me". I was 14. I gave that letter to my mum in fear.

10. The number of people who will sit down in a cramped bus beside girls in school uniform and be doing elbow nudge to rub against their bosom. And those people think there's nothing wrong with such behaviour.

Have you noticed from all these stories, that these attacks happened everywhere you thought your child was SAFE? Even at my former office, I know what happened to the PA's daughter (8 yrs old) by another co-worker (in his 40s) and after rubbing her chest all over pretending to help her get over a fall, he said "don't tell your mummy o".

We need to educate our babies that there is a type of touching that is wrong. Kids can telll when something upsets them but don't know how to tell adults "I'm scared of another grownup", after all they are taught to respect all adults. Otherwise, they won't complain and as adults, will tell you horror stories and we will keep hearing tales like "15 year old impregnated by 45-year old man" and blaming the girl. Did she know it was wrong, did anyone ever tell her "keep your body to yourself?

I don't work for TFOLC, I just wish parents would buy this book, it costs N350 on Konga and teach their kids what's right and how to handle it. My nephew won't let me touch him in the loo and I'm happy (infact if you ask him what should he do if someone touches him anywhere naughty, his shout of "noooooooo" can wake up a ghost).

Child abuse is rampant in our society. Please start from babyhood to tell your kids to make people respect their bodies and keep reinforcing this until adulthood. Don't let your baby one day grow up and say "Mummy/Daddy, I wish you had known what happened to me and stopped it".

nice info ...

Onegai:
And please before you rush screaming "it is my driver/houseboy that can do this", remember that it may be most likely a classmate, a relative, a teacher/instructor or someone who has access to your child, that looks harmless and responsible, who will most likely be a predator.

They tend to go after children they know, because of the close proximity, they feel more comfortable (after all, if a stranger wants to take my clothes off I would scream, but when my grown-up in university neighbour used to tell 6-year old me I was the prettiest girl ever and he would marry me and then one day my brothers and I were dropped off at his home and he proceeded to watch an Indecency film in front of kids shamelessly, I didn't tell my mum. I was too scared).

And all these predators, they have access to people their age who can satify their needs. But they go after vulnerable people like children and young adults because it's about power. A young adult is anyone under the age of 18. And sadly, people who are abused tend to go and abuse others (child abuse perpetrated by other children is very common in primary school, most abused children grow up not knowing boundaries, struggling with healthy relationships. An abused girl I know grew up to constantly date/marry guys younger than her. Her hubby said it's because her abuser was much older therefore she formed a fear of older men in her mind, she can't date even 2 years older than her because she would feel helpless and out of control and scared, and not know why).

Make sure you get this book, bring up this topic with your little one and ask them "has anyone touched you that you weren't happy about? If anyone touches you, tell them No". If your playful baby suddenyl turns into a quiet withdrawn child who is too scared to leave your side or people they trust, start asking questions, because someone has made them feel threatened.

Abeg, don't let your child be another sad story.

I need the book ASAP ...

Sleek05:
I don't understand why Lordmykel, whoever that is, is joking with this matter and trying to trivialise it. I get it, he's probably guilty of same and is using whatever 'playful' means to save face. I think that's silly. It's much better to be quiet, you don't have to comment on every thread. This is no trivial issue.


@ op, the level of abuse in this country is way overboard. It has gotten from bad to worse overnight with the rotten stories of older men sleeping with younger girls. And it is because the generation before us has chosen to keep quiet about it for so long that it has eaten deep into the fabrics of our community. One in five girls in Nigeria has been abused (I stand to be corrected) mostly from cousins, neighbours, uncles, brother's friends etc

I've gotten so scared of this abuse tingy, I was carrying a 2 year old girl in church on Sunday. Some guys, about 12/13 years old wanted to carry her and relieve me, I vehemently refused. Not so much because I wanted the girl all to myself but because I was scared.

Parents, please don't shy away from this, it is real and it happens everywhere. EDUCATE YOUR KIDS!

#anothercharitycomment

those conscience want to kill, they first mention my name.

Thanks op. Every child and parent needs that book. Most people think abusers nd molesters are strangers and outsiders but more often than not they are relatives and friendß. uncles, aunties, cousins. Most times even same sex. You may feel ur gurl child is safe with a female relative, news flash: I was molested by my aunt. I was in primary school while she was in a girls secondary school. I dare not catch u call my child your wife or husband, or attempt to carry them on your laps.

http:///no-dont-touch-me-there-1310571

Here is a link to the book, on Konga.

1miccza

post=29593202:
Beautiful piece Op apart from konga where else can we get that book?

I know The Fountain of Life Churrch Ilupeju sells it, I'm not sure if Laterna (VI) sells it, but please make enquiries from The Fountain of Life church (Pastor Taiwo Odukoya's church).

I'm going to get my own copy, even though I don't have kids yet and gift one to a friend's 2 year old daughter and another's 4 year son. We cannot keep pretending all is well in our society, it's madness to do so, when we are continually surrounded by evidence showing we have so much wrong with us.

Most people who target kids are people who are around them. Remember, it is rarely a stranger on the road that will attack your child, it will most likely be his classmate, her teacher, his nanny, your neighbour or even worse, your relative.

And yes, boys do get abused too. A friend of my sister's narrated how his parents n boy decided to molest him for an entire term, and how he got so desperate to not return back to the school, he drank either Bleach or some other household chemical.

Many parents need to buy this book.The rise in child abuse this days is alarming

Op. Ur write-up was great.

It made me remember how I was abused @ age 5 (pry 1). This girl (same age wit me) would start rubbin my d**k from mornin till closin tym until one day she put my finger inside her t¤t¤, I felt a wetty warm feelin on my finger (all dis under d table; locker). This act continue til we got to pry 3 or so. I rememba one day we were almost caught by a teacher dis tym in a store on an end-of-d-yr-party day. It was realy a long story bcz we later became so intimate dat even @ home, we continue d evil act durin holidays. Until my parents relocated 2 anoda apartment so far dat I took transfer to anoda skool @ age 8 (pry 4 or thereabt).

One very thing dat bothers me till nw is aw did she got to knw dis act at dat age bcz she stay wit her parent in d flat, infact, her parent dont allow dem to even step out of dia flat let alone visitin friends. It realy baffles me.

Parents should always take note of dis children xpecialy dis issue of abuse. Its very importnt

Nice1

Wow. Some heart wrenching stories in this thread. Sorry to all those who have been victims. Such a terrible thing to have passed through.

God bless you OP for opening this thread. Kudos to the poster that recommended it for front page and the mod that obliged.

Here is a cartoon parents can watch with their child to help jumpstart the conversation about child abuse. It's from India so the accent is prominent but hopefully, people can still find it helpful.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkY0xqtw6W8

One way to teach it is to talk about "good touch, bad touch"

Good touch: examples hugs and kisses from parents, grandparents etc. good touch makes you feel good, doesn't hurt, is welcomed/wanted.

Bad touch: unwanted hugs/kisses, touches in private area (private area is anything covered by underwear/bathing suit), touches that make you feel uncomfortable, cause pain etc

Always teach them to tell you immediately if anyone tries that. Help them learn to say no and run away if confronted with such. Teach them it is not okay to keep secrets especially if an older person asks them to keep a secret. They must tell you. Teach that it's not okay to show their privates/or take off their underwear to others and it is not okay for other people to show them their privates.

God help us all.

Pls I need d book where can one get it apart 4rm konga?

babson2b4:
Op. Ur write-up was great.

It made me remember how I was abused @ age 5 (pry 1). This girl (same age wit me) would start rubbin my d**k from mornin till closin tym until one day she put my finger inside her t¤t¤, I felt a wetty warm feelin on my finger (all dis under d table; locker). This act continue til we got to pry 3 or so. I rememba one day we were almost caught by a teacher dis tym in a store on an end-of-d-yr-party day. It was realy a long story bcz we later became so intimate dat even @ home, we continue d evil act durin holidays. Until my parents relocated 2 anoda apartment so far dat I took transfer to anoda skool @ age 8 (pry 4 or thereabt).

One very thing dat bothers me till nw is aw did she got to knw dis act at dat age bcz she stay wit her parent in d flat, infact, her parent dont allow dem to even step out of dia flat let alone visitin friends. It realy baffles me.

Parents should always take note of dis children xpecialy dis issue of abuse. Its very importnt

SERIOUSLY MY EXPERIENCE IS JUST ALMOST D SAME AS URS, DIS GIRL DURING THE TYM DAT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO PLACE OUR HEAD ON D LOCKER AND SLEEP, WEN WE DO DAT SHE WOULD ASK ME TO LET US DO PLAY, SHE WOULD SAY THAT WE SHOULD ASSUME DAT I AM VISITING HER AND I MET HER NAKED, DEN DUE TO D FACT THAT OUR SCHOOL UNIFORM FOR GALS IS A SHORT GOWN, WE WOULD PUT OUR HANDS IN EACH OTHER'S PANT AND MANIPULATE OUR ORGANS TILL TODAY NONE OF OUR TEACHERS KNEW ABT IT AND WE WouLd ALWAYS DO IT DAILY DEN. DIA WAS DIS GUY WU WOULD BRING HIS IMMEDIATE YOUNGER SISTER AND ASK ME TO SLEEP ON HER AND ALSO ASK HER TO RUB MY DICCK AND SUMTYMS HE WOULD WANT TO FORCE HIS TIN INTO MY BUTT UNTIL WE WERE CAUGHT BY MY MUM WHO FLOGGED D HELL OUT OF US AND IT STOPPED DERE. YOUNG BOYS GET MOLESTED TOO AND IT CAN COME FROM ANYBODY ANYTIME I AV MANY TALES TO TELL BUT NT ALL CAN BE NARRATED

And the 'Born Twice' people be like..No! Dats a no-go area.

My parents never for once taught me anything like sex education but I chose to myself!. Even at my age many still find it hard to believe I've never kissed a girl before not to say of the other. It sounds awkward? Good. The only woman to get it will do on my wedding night.




Nice job there OP, I'd recommend your book to as many as possible.
It is a must for parents who leave their children at the mercy of a guardian or maid all in the name of work.

Very educative piece thanks for sharing. More awareness needs to be created to secure our younger generations from these perverts.

www.askthelawyeronline.com

Call 09028683605 if you are going through any form of abuse and you need to talk to someone or tweet @YourViewTVC on Twitter.

SAY NO TO CHILD ABUSE

[quote author=Danycrusoe post=29601213]

Am telling u d rate of abuse in Nigeria is alarming. Tou I later fell so intimate wit dat girl dat I cant do witout seeing her in 2days but the fact remains dat she abused me bcz I dnt knw anytin of such b4 den.

Imagine, I was discusin dis thread wit my neighbour nw (a woman teacher), she told me me aw 2 male nursery 2 pulpils were caught in d act in d skool toilet were she's workin last year.

I wil try 2 get dat book 4 her to read bcz she has a little girl (1 yr +) dat always cum 2 play in my room. Each time she cums 2 my room, I'l make sure my windows and door is widely opennd and fold my curtain so dat evry1 can see inside clearly xpecialy if my fiance in nt around. Make dem no go frame me abeg.

Parents can do their best to protect their wards. However, more often the enemy is within. Ones u never suspect. Relatives, neighbours, school teachers. U may call me paranoid, if only we knew. The more effective way is 2 educate our kids properly and early. Thank u OP.

Lord have mercy

Its getting worse by the day. I was almost molested, my mom was a single parent dad was getting married to several women. It was difficult for mom alone. Most times she's bitter, always cursing. So I never told her anything I just always give the then neighbour space. I was very smart as a kid. I always prayed for two boys, but then I got a boy & a girl... I must do my best to make them my bestfriends vice versa

@Op,thanks for sharing. For those joking with the topic keep doing that and pray it never happens to your child or any of your loved ones. Child abuse is a cancer that must be stopped. protect your little ones both male and Female.

ileobatojo:
Wow. Some heart wrenching stories in this thread. Sorry to all those who have been victims. Such a terrible thing to have passed through.

God bless you OP for opening this thread. Kudos to the poster that recommended it for front page and the mod that obliged.

Here is a cartoon parents can watch with their child to help jumpstart the conversation about child abuse. It's from India so the accent is prominent but hopefully, people can still find it helpful.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkY0xqtw6W8

One way to teach it is to talk about "good touch, bad touch"

Good touch: examples hugs and kisses from parents, grandparents etc. good touch makes you feel good, doesn't hurt, is welcomed/wanted.

Bad touch: unwanted hugs/kisses, touches in private area (private area is anything covered by underwear/bathing suit), touches that make you feel uncomfortable, cause pain etc

Always teach them to tell you immediately if anyone tries that. Help them learn to say no and run away if confronted with such. Teach them it is not okay to keep secrets especially if an older person asks them to keep a secret. They must tell you. Teach that it's not okay to show their privates/or take off their underwear to others and it is not okay for other people to show them their privates.

God help us all.

Thank you, really needed something like this to buttress what I have been telling my seven year old.

Klare:
Rem den 2 in my sec days, girls dats has breast were abused by our den bussiness teacher of j1, he will call u nd asked wats is in ur breast pocket, u says nothing, he will reply lets me see, den dips his hands in ur pocket uses d pocket d medium 2 reach 4 ur breast nd press it.... Untill he is satify. He will den says truely dere is nufin dey omase oooo

Lord, have mercy!

I quite agree with you that child abuse is very rampant in our society. And this is the area the govt. is expected to do something, I mean stiff penalty. Instead the executors are busy amassing ill gotten wealth. Even our women are not safe