To:Meexteriox:

Get a life punk

outlaws:



Let those idiotic traditionalist who brag about having money who have been brain washed by their village elders go ahead with the traditional wedding. While those who use their head and make right choices without having some one make choices for them opt out. After all there are two  types of people in this world. Those that make choices for themselves and those that let others make choices for them. Which one are you?

I wonder why people don't brag about how much they bought their wife from their elders. Maybe they are feeling quilty in engaging in such a rediculous act. It seems like is those hopeless greedy poor gold digging elders are the ones people are associating with to make decisions for them.

People should be able to freely marry a lady and give her family what ever he feels like not buy her at the auction held by the village elders.  So on the auction contract, is there a place were it states full refund quaranteed if the lady happens to be a bitch? I don't think so.

There are some dumb people in this forum who thinks that this is about having money. This isn't about money. Is about common sense. I know this family
here in Portland. Back home their family[Their dads side]caused them or something. So they actually didn't go home during christmas or any hollidays. They lived in the town and visited their moms place. The man have I think about three or more daughters right now that are at a marrying age. So all this bitch posters here in this forum who are brain washed to go along with what ever tradition the dumb village elders have set up. Where are this ladies suppose to have their traditional wedding if they chose an Ibo[Not Igbo] man? Certainly not at her moms place. I heared that there have been men who came to marry one of these ladies and because they believe in bullshit tradition, they went to her dads place to inquire about things. They learned that they are not welcomed at her dads place. So this dumb nigger got to backout of marriage just because they can't do traditional wedding. So does that mean all the ladies should stay single? Bullshit. What if I fall for one of these ladies. I will tell her is not good that her dads family hate them all. But as far as I am concerned Zap. your elders and they can go to hell. Who are they to cause a family from visiting their fathers land. Some times I feel sad for these ladies. This is serious, is not a joke.

You see anything that make sense, look at it any how it will still make sense. While bullshit things will always be bullshit untill is fixed or even eliminated entirely.

Also I read somewhere on this thread, some one stated that Ibo guys commit a lot of crimes. I totally agree with that. Imo state have more ritualist than any state in Nigeria unless you can prove other wise. Any one remember Otokoto era? If you don't there was this man named Chief Vincent Duru known as Otokoto [yahoo it up you will find more info.] who had a son named Obicheozo. The man had a restaurant in Orlu road. He is Ibo ofcurs, he kills his customers and sell their body parts and then burry their body at the back of the restaurant. You could be eating their paper soap and be eating somebody's body all along. That's why I don't like eating meat at public places, you really don't know what you are eating unless is chicken or something like that. One day, it was discovered. There was riot all over the city. A lot of ritualist houses were borned down. His son, there are women[stupid ones]all over him, he cruises on the road with fleet of luxury cars. Eventually this man, his son, and other ritualist that took part in the killings were killed. Most of them by hanging. If you think I am making this up read some of the story here.                                    [ http://www.thisdayonline.com/archive/2003/01/21/20030121fea01.html ] or [ http://magazine.biafranigeriaworld.com/aehirim/2003jul12.html]

For those people cursing others for say the truth. Mine is back to send. You curse it goes back into your family. I even think that if you combine all the ritualist in Nigeria all put together. Ibo ritualist still out number them. Why because their tradition wants them to be rich to be able to perform stupid things like traditional wedding. Even in Ibo land any man that doesn't build up a house is considered a failure. Who said you have to have a house to be a man? These things pushes Ibo guys to crime. They can't really get into federal positions because the Hausa and Yorubas have taken over the ownership of Nigeria but that would be a different thread.

Nigeria is a sad place and will continue to be.

Just when you thought that dumbs are no more in Nairaland another one will just pop out from nowhere

I can understand that your sisters are finding it hard to get a husband because of the "Ban" from the father's family members. pele!!

You think you don't need a House to be a man? You are a big JOKE.

Outlaws, thanks for your very frank and blunt post. I agree with you 100%.

Some forumites seem to think it is only those who cannot afford the cost of marital rites that are complaining. But, that belief is completely erroneous.
I am opposing this tradition out of principle and it would have been selfish to keep mum just because, i can afford it. What of the very hardworking boys and girls who are earning meagre amounts back home. Who would speak for them?If i had been a poor guy, it would have been easy for them to paint me a moaner. I can afford the 2 million naira estimate for my wedding, but is that really the best way to spend money in these times?. No, i don't think so.

Some people believe that as an Igboman, somehow, i am betraying my people for washing our dirty linen on a public forum. There is nothing secretive about all we have raised so far. I think those that are living in denial (Dede, romeo) are the ones doing a disservice to our people by supporting our boys being held hostage to archaic traditions.

Outlaws, Just like you mentioned in your post, the Igbo tradition has a tendency of comparing pitching people in the same "age group". For example, if an age mate of yours builds a house, no one will question the source of his wealth. Instead, the elders will start comparing you to him sometimes in a cruel and denigrating manner. It will be mentioned at the local towns meeting all in a bid to humiliate you.

If an adult becomes deceased without having his own personal house, do you know they will lie his body in the open air. The elders will refuse his body to be taken into any other house in the compund, because, the poor guy could not build a house before his death. How humiliating and cruel can a tradition be? It is this type of subtle pressure that forces our brothers to indulge in risky behaviors and sometimes falling foul of the law.

It is the same reason the South East is unable to produce a concensus candidate for president. The other tribes know our weaknesses. All they need doing is bribe our so-called elders (Iwuanyanwu & co) and they switch sides immediately and become the campaign chairperson of the rival candidate from another tribe.

We really need to examine our value systems and be brave enough to challenge retrogressive customs otherwise, the viscous cycle continues.

Romeo,
You don't need a house to be a man. What you need is a home consisting of a loving wife and well brought up children and to be admired and respected in your local community.

idiopathic:

Romeo,
You don't need a house to be a man. What you need is a home consisting of a loving wife and well brought up children and to be admired and respected in your local community.

I don't know what you are talking about here!! You can not live under a Mango tree or under bridge with your family and expect respect from the society.

To: Idiopathic:
I agree with you. A lot of people don't like the truth. They go along with the majority or custom as to avoid conflict or disrespect from their elders. Before I use to avoid conflict, right now I am like bring it on. Ladies don't like conflict as you may have realize, they are not responding to this thread as for now.
My thing is I say it the way I see it wether is good or bad. That's why I have a lot of enemies in this forum and outside this forum. Having enemies can be a good thing in a way. But my point is people should have a choice that's why they are human beings. If we are talking about animals here like ewu hausa[ a goat], then we can say this animals have no choice, human beings make choices for them, but when a human being starts acting like ewu hausa, then we got a problem. Another issue is chieftency, it seems like in the village both old and young want to be chief. That's another bullshit on its own. This chieftency all you need is to have money and then you bride the elders and they will give you a list of things you need and then you are a chief. This positions are things the people suppose to select not the elders. A lot of older and younger guys are turning to ritualism to be able to afford this chieftency. Most of all this things going on in Ibo land.This elders should be digging there grave not running peoples lives.


To:Romeo:
You don't have a point. What you are stating is not making any sense. What is your point? What do you have to contribute in this issue? The ladies that I refered to are not my sisters. The question that I asked regarding those ladies, you can't even answer them and you are here posting nonsense. This shows your level of comprehension is very low.

outlaws

why do u sound so bitter loud, and angry?/

Romeo, your assertion that “one is not a man” without building his own house is the type of reasoning that I have always protested against on this forum.  It is your kind, that use the local town meetings to ridicule those unable to afford to own a house rather than focusing on projects aimed at helping the underprivildged. I am sorry, but these kinds or reasoning puts our brothers under unfair pressure to succeed at any cost.

The South East is one of the most densely populated regions in the whole of Africa. The Wikipedia estimates the Igbo population to be well over 20 million. Are you encouraging us to build 20 million houses on our very limited supply of land? Common, we really need to be sensible here and adapt traditions/culture to reflect the changing realities of the times.

Even in the most advanced democracies, not everyone own their own houses. What is so “unmanly” about raising your family in a rented flat/house? I have cousins living in Lagos/overseas who built mansions in their villages. They spend approximately a week or two in a whole year on these properties. They really don’t have any use for these houses except to massage their egos and stop others from gossiping about them. Thank God Nigeria has no council taxes as yet!!

My position is this: those who can afford to own their homes would be encouraged but we should not make it a yardstick for measuring success or “manliness”. We should also desist from ridiculing and trying to humiliate those who choose not to build a house.

Wait. . . outlaws. How did you come to the conclusion that the Igbo use the practice to sell their daughters and drain prospective male suitors of wealth? (I'm assuming that's the assertion that you've made. If I'm wrong, let me know).

I'm yoruba and i must say that God recognises traditional wedding.In fact,if a pastor is present during traditional wedding,there is simply no need to do church wedding.Church wedding is simply oyinbo's style.

As soon as brideprice is paid,u are permitted by God to even do jigijigi with ur wife,

SO TRADITIONAL WEDDING IS NOT SHIT BUT SOME AREAS IN IBO LAND TEND TO OVERDO IT BY ASKING FOR TOO MUCH.One of my friends wanted to get married to an ibolady and he was asked to bring 10cartons of star,10cartons of gulder,100litres of palmwine etc, I asked him whether the in-laws wanted to open a bar with the DRINKS

do u know, what even caught my attention, in this whole thread??

PORTLAND OREGON,USA, WEST SIDE!!!
LMAO!!!, dont really blame the dude, wetin im sabi?, what does he know about life?/, he is 4rm the 50cents generation, blink blink, wearing chains n all that crap, maybe when he is a likkle older, [n hopefully wiser], he will know better,

anybody dey force u marry ibo lady, 4 crying out aloud, there are more than 250 tribes in naija, so if u must marry naija babe, feel free to select from there,
with as litle a 200k, u can hv a succesful trad marriage,
i know some places in iboland demand a lot of things 4rm prospective inlaws, but they r on the minority.

what of the fulanis n their tradition of flogging the would be groom 40 strokes of the cane, during the trad marriage rites?, ,,,,,,abi u neva hear/see that one?,,,,,it aint by force, if u r concerned about such mattters, DO UR HOMEWORK WELL, b4 u propose 2 any lady chikena!!!

idiopathic is making some sense

Out law i think you are right on the issue of the high bride price which suitors have to pay in order to marry a girl in the igbo tribe of Nigeria. However i think you are sounding very rude and in trying to express your oppinion. As some one else said earlier there are better ways of expressing it.

Secondly, there are many other tribes in Nigeria which dont charge that high ok. So dont say that you want to marry a white simply because you want to skip the traditional marriage ceremony and not pay bride price.
I think you are just suffering from colo(colonial) mentality as the late fela anikulakpo kuti will say.



You cannot run away from the payment bride price when getting married to a Nigerian or any African woman for that matter.This is our culture and there is nothing you can do abt that no matter how much you swear and curse, So you better Continue to stick to the American ladies and dont even bother with Africans

Good luck to you

@poster
Shut the Zap up and go get your straight jacket, you retarded dipshit,no one gives a flying Zap about what you think of traditional weddings.

To:Landwin:

Zap. you. I don't blame you. Kitty-Cat. a.s.s. retarded bastard.

@Outlaws
What u should know by now in dealing with Nigerians is that there are some people who don't see anything wrong in a system, until they are adversely affected by the system. That's when they will start crying fowl.

As earlier pointed out to you, if you cannot afford the bride price and the rudiculous demands they make in the name of traditional marriage. Please don't abuse anybody just forget about them. Most times when the women getting close to 40yrs and not married that's when they will start looking for men and even assisting them financially to achieve their marriage dreams. Most women take it as a thing of pride that their marriage was very expensive - and you know very well that Nigerians thrive on ego.

Right now in Rivers & Bayelsa an average girl wants to be married traditionally, in church and court, which i clearly use to point out to them is not necessary. But, because their friend or someone they know did it, they also require same standard. The whites use to pay bride price before it was dropped centuries ago. Those who are arguing for pride price as tradition should check historical books. Poor men use to marry off their beautiful daughters to wealthy men. But when they started embracing christianity they did away with most of those traditions.

Nigerians no matter how long they have been christians - including those born to christian parents and growing up in the faith - still hold on to various traditions.

microgiant:

@Outlaws
What u should know by now in dealing with Nigerians is that there are some people who don't see anything wrong in a system, until they are adversely affected by the system. That's when they will start crying fowl.

As earlier pointed out to you, if you cannot afford the bride price and the rudiculous demands they make in the name of traditional marriage. Please don't abuse anybody just forget about them. Most times when the women getting close to 40yrs and not married that's when they will start looking for men and even assisting them financially to achieve their marriage dreams. Most women take it as a thing of pride that their marriage was very expensive - and you know very well that Nigerians thrive on ego.

Right now in Rivers & Bayelsa an average girl wants to be married traditionally, in church and court, which i clearly use to point out to them is not necessary. But, because their friend or someone they know did it, they also require same standard. The whites use to pay bride price before it was dropped centuries ago. Those who are arguing for pride price as tradition should check historical books. Poor men use to marry off their beautiful daughters to wealthy men. But when they started embracing christianity they did away with most of those traditions.

Nigerians no matter how long they have been christians - including those born to christian parents and growing up in the faith - still hold on to various traditions.

foolishness has nothing to do with any tradition. Christianity has nothing against the decency of respecting your inlaws to be. there are excesses in every society nigeria is no exception. in my place you pay only 24 naira as bride price whatever you go do by way of party and the rest is your business.

the most important thing is doing what makes both of you happy but dont start doing that by creating trouble and expect to live happily there after. i know my people well enough to know you will be lucky to celebrate the first 100days let alone 1yr anniversary.

@ poster

Not all traditional weddings are expensive xpect the Ibos who sell their daughters.

I am not having a Traditional wedding by Gods grace, fricking waste of money

Omolola1:

@ poster

Not all traditional weddings are expensive xpect the Ibos who sell their daughters.

Another one
are u igbo?who have u seen selling who?
@Topic,i love trad . weddings and thank God,mine was superb. 
Had the blessings of two different families,community and people.we even had a priest attend and bless us too.
@Poster,is there anywhere in the bible its written that one must wed in the church?If yes, quote pls.
i so loff trad weddings that i rarely attend the so-called white weddings.I loff the food,the dresses,the corals and beads,the up-wine and palmwine and everything that comes with it

Hey! Mr.Outlaws or outlaw I really don't know if I am wrong or the lexicon is wrong but dude you can't come here and be cursing out sisters.Men that is so unmanly and rude.trust me even in westside of portland,oregun which I know allot of ppl here don't give a Bleep about don't appreciate brothers disrespecting sister no matter their color or nationality just make your point plain and stop calling those ppl names especially the ladies.Because that just show how immature you  are and I can tell you are new in the states on a student visa that's why you are going all crazy about what is going on around you.Time will tell.
Grow up and learn to express your opinion without cursing.

To:Kayusa or whatever:

Who the Zap. are you to tell me what to do? You don't have that privilege to do so, get it into your feminist head. I don't curse women ok. I curse those that need it, people like you and also those that make lame assumptions like you. You know Portland Oregon very well abi? If you do I am sure you know the correct spelling is Oregon not Oregun. You see, you don't know Poo. and you are coming here to teach me something. Seriously what can some feminist bastard like you teach me? So, Zap. you and your lame assumptions.

Get a life bitch.

outlaws:



To:Landwin:

Zap. you. I don't blame you. Kitty-Cat.  a.s.s. retarded bastard.

Bitch, Bleep you snitch,go get a life fucking clint,ass fucker.The next time you wanna talk shit you step up

outlaws:



To:Landwin:

Zap. you. I don't blame you. Kitty-Cat.  a.s.s. retarded bastard.

Bitch Zap you,Zap.i.n.g snitch,ass fucker. The next time you wanna talk shit you step up

ifyalways:

Another one
are u igbo?who have u seen selling who?
@Topic,i love trad . weddings and thank God,mine was superb.
Had the blessings of two different families,community and people.we even had a priest attend and bless us too.
@Poster,is there anywhere in the bible its written that one must wed in the church?If yes, quote pls.
i so loff trad weddings that i rarely attend the so-called white weddings.I loff the food,the dresses,the corals and beads,the up-wine and palmwine and everything that comes with it

You are so correct, we need the quotations please, oyibo follow follow people.

@ outlaw chei, ur a worthless piece of garbage get ur gangsta ebonics speaking ghetto self out of here. trash.

To:Landwin and Ijeoma:

It looks like you two bitches don't have shit to say. What the Zap. do y'all got to say. Punks

outlaws:



To:Landwin and Ijeoma:

It looks like you two bitches don't have shit to say. What the Zap. do y'all got to say. Punks

Zap.i.n.g piece of dipshi*t,go get yourself Zap.e.d you starved clit.

Annoying Assho*le

Whoever is not proud of his colour is not fit to live. Tradition marriage predates history. It is a way of showing appreciation to parents of a wife to be. It is worth it. It is good and should be continously practiced. Even God sees it as the real solemnization and not the so-called white one which sometimes undermine the consent of parents and indirectly exposing both the guy and the babe to fornication in the sight of the Creator.

I'm liking this topic. Makes a good read for an otherwise boring work day.

Gamine:

I am not having a Traditional wedding by Gods grace, fricking waste of money

Lol!!

MrCrackles:

Traditional weddings are fucking waste of time!

Double Lol!!!!

@Original Poster

From what I understand about the Nigerian culture, it's really not compulsory to have a traditional wedding or white wedding. Like some lady (Monica?) said earlier, it all boils down to CHOICE. Do whatever feels right to you.
No one will come breaking down your door and bashing in your head with a machete, especially if you live abroad.
I know a few couples (one partner is Nigerian and the other isn't) who are happily married without trad marriage, and family and in-laws are fine with it.

Marriage is not by force. If you don't like the stipulation that comes with your chosen bride-to-be, then bail out. If both of you (you and your fiance) do not like the trad marriage thing, then elope! End of story!

There is nothing like elope. All righteousness must be fulfilled.