| Re: I Need your Advice by Sparklequeen(f): 1:23pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Heated arguments does no one any good because we say things we don't mean and sadly can't take it back.
When my husband annoys me knowing how he can like to debate I just send a long e mail stating clearly all my points no accusations, no fault finding infact I bullet the issues so as angry as he may be he can clearly read and understand what I am saying and most times that works as he now understands where I am coming from and we debate on a level playing field and sort out our issues.
You made a threat you didn't mean, he is also doing bragado he may not mean, hoping you will beg because if you self go to your parents and you are both called in you will both feel foolish in the end
Both of you are childish and hot headed talking and acting irrationally without thinking.
You self why threaten to walk out when you can't follow through? Why expect that he will beg you for threatening him? Who told you that works? If you make a threat be ready to follow through especially when you have a marriage situation where your husband has seen you finish and can easily call your bluff.
Anyway, since you self know you can't leave swallow your pride and stay, if you can leave you wont be here asking for advice, swallow your pride, stay and talk when he gets back or send him a message explaining clearly how you feel please no emotional blackmail be straight and concise in your message
Marriage is not as seen on African magic.
Send him a message straight and concise explain how you feel and how hurt the actions you speak about make you feel. Apologise for over reacting and when he comes watch his reaction and sort it out
Lessons learned I hope for you is never to make idle threats else na you go shame I have observed ur name changes and no one can view ur profile on this forum |
| Re: I Need your Advice by Nobody: 1:28pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
younghartz:
When you put a toad in a pot of water and you start boiling the water at 45•c the toad adjust its body to the temp of the water at 100•c it won't be able to adjust anymore, now it tries to jump out bt d strength isn't there anymore,it dies .... Assuming it used its strength to jump out the pot instead of using it to adjust to the temp..it would have bn alive.... Moral: don't think things will get better along the line, rather pack your things and leave.....if he really loves you he won't let you leave.
Never beg for love in a relationship or marriage if not you will forever beg just to maintain it... You were right! |
| Re: I Need your Advice by younghartz(m): 1:31pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
cionon:
You were right! Pls go through some of my post nd you will see things related to what you're facing now |
| Re: I Need your Advice by Nobody: 2:11pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
younghartz:
Pls go through some of my post nd you will see things related to what you're facing now Okay I will |
| Re: I Need your Advice by aforti(m): 3:37pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
cionon:
Well, i made up my mind if he doesn't beg, then i ll leave. I was leaving when i was stopped by my neigbhour and she told she heard our argument and she asked me not to leave like that. That its just a young marriage. Our gate man is elderly and he told me to go back and stay put. I stil have the keys to my parents house and later i though about it and decided to stay.
My main concern is how to calm my husband and ask for forgivness because he hardly forgives Op. Don't ask for forgiveness, what are you asking for forgiveness for?. Retain your dignity as a woman. Stay put say no word further. Watch his actions so you can understand what is motivating him to take such drastic actions, you might think its cause of your threat but their might be something else motivating him which might even be what is making him behave the way he is behaving that is causing you pains. A man who loves his wife should listen to her and make necessary adjustment so there will be peace in the house. But that is if you are telling us the truth. |
| Re: I Need your Advice by Nobody: 4:35pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
@5minsmadness @marcjane @sexystrawberry @thearchangel @postman @twinkie8 @fem29 @herbie27 @armchair @vikky014 @slam7000 @sonya4all @joavid @talkingbird @ekaka1 @hotguy27 @vislabraye @hunted @ceccylia @kingadeolumo1 @victorazy @aforti @raumdeuter @onoja12 @mlpnig @adipose @godsend @maximum85 @poppop @younghartz @dilini @flawlessan8gel @goldman777 @lawanson44 @edpunter @rilokilley @biafranflag @9airaland @fabulousman @wowzer @worshipdevice @girlfriendsnatc @josite @rosalieene @blackprowler @lastpage @blustreak @deetus @bollinger
Those I mentioned and for to all who commented. I didnt want to state my reason for saying such in the first page so that people won't accuse me of giving so much info. I wanted to also see people's comment and advice without sentinment or pity for me and then make my decision.
I have weighed the options made my decison.
MY REASON for saying such to my husband
Reasons I talked about magun was because on our first year wedding anniversary. My husband wasn't home from Thursday till Monday. He spent the whole days with his mistress. He even told me to my face. Then thats when I said he should be grateful I still have a heart. That if not I 'll do magun and tie them both then snap the lady and put up her pix since she won't leave my husband alone. But I quikly told him but I can't do that. That no matter how badly he treats me I will never go the diabolic ways
No one knew my husband wasn't home. I still put up our pix on BBM and pple wished me HWA. But deep down I wasn't celebrating it. I faked all the smiles and told them my husband and I would go out in the night. He didn't even come home at all
I didn't even tell my sisters of any close friends. Up till today. It was only his mum I called to tell her son to return home and his cousin that was with us at the time it happened. It was later I got to know why he was angry and decided to spend our wedding anniversary with his mistress was because I called his mistress to leave us alone for me and my husband to solve our issues. She and my husband kept talking about our home.
Everything said here is nothing but the truth. I didn't add and I didn't subtract.
Thank you all for the advice. Decison made. So I will stand by it. So help me God 1 Like |
| Re: I Need your Advice by Nobody: 5:20pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
cionon:
@5minsmadness @marcjane @sexystrawberry @thearchangel @postman @twinkie8 @fem29 @herbie27 @armchair @vikky014 @slam7000 @sonya4all @joavid @talkingbird @ekaka1 @hotguy27 @vislabraye @hunted @ceccylia @kingadeolumo1 @victorazy @aforti @raumdeuter @onoja12 @mlpnig @adipose @godsend @maximum85 @poppop @younghartz @dilini @flawlessan8gel @goldman777 @lawanson44 @edpunter @rilokilley @biafranflag @9airaland @fabulousman @wowzer @worshipdevice @girlfriendsnatc @josite @rosalieene @blackprowler @lastpage @blustreak @deetus @bollinger
Those I mentioned and for to all who commented. I didnt want to state my reason for saying such in the first page so that people won't accuse me of giving so much info. I wanted to also see people's comment and advice without sentinment or pity for me and then make my decision.
I have weighed the options made my decison.
MY REASON for saying such to my husband
Reasons I talked about magun was because on our first year wedding anniversary. My husband wasn't home from Thursday till Monday. He spent the whole days with his mistress. He even told me to my face. Then thats when I said he should be grateful I still have a heart. That if not I 'll do magun and tie them both then snap the lady and put up her pix since she won't leave my husband alone. But I quikly told him but I can't do that. That no matter how badly he treats me I will never go the diabolic ways
No one knew my husband wasn't home. I still put up our pix on BBM and pple wished me HWA. But deep down I wasn't celebrating it. I faked all the smiles and told them my husband and I would go out in the night. He didn't even come home at all
I didn't even tell my sisters of any close friends. Up till today. It was only his mum I called to tell her son to return home and his cousin that was with us at the time it happened. It was later I got to know why he was angry and decided to spend our wedding anniversary with his mistress was because I called his mistress to leave us alone for me and my husband to solve our issues. She and my husband kept talking about our home.
Everything said here is nothing but the truth. I didn't add and I didn't subtract.
Thank you all for the advice. Decison made. So I will stand by it. So help me God
I understand now that u've been going tru a lot, and feel your pains. Why did he marry you if he wasn't ready for marriage?, he seems to have prioritised something else instead of his marriage and family. I almost cried on reading ur post, i pray God restores ur marriage cos there is nothing he can't do and ur the only one who can decide for urself. |
| Re: I Need your Advice by SexyStrawberry(f): 4:32pm On Apr 03, 2016 |
cionon:
@5minsmadness @marcjane @sexystrawberry @thearchangel @postman @twinkie8 @fem29 @herbie27 @armchair @vikky014 @slam7000 @sonya4all @joavid @talkingbird @ekaka1 @hotguy27 @vislabraye @hunted @ceccylia @kingadeolumo1 @victorazy @aforti @raumdeuter @onoja12 @mlpnig @adipose @godsend @maximum85 @poppop @younghartz @dilini @flawlessan8gel @goldman777 @lawanson44 @edpunter @rilokilley @biafranflag @9airaland @fabulousman @wowzer @worshipdevice @girlfriendsnatc @josite @rosalieene @blackprowler @lastpage @blustreak @deetus @bollinger
Those I mentioned and for to all who commented. I didnt want to state my reason for saying such in the first page so that people won't accuse me of giving so much info. I wanted to also see people's comment and advice without sentinment or pity for me and then make my decision.
I have weighed the options made my decison.
MY REASON for saying such to my husband
Reasons I talked about magun was because on our first year wedding anniversary. My husband wasn't home from Thursday till Monday. He spent the whole days with his mistress. He even told me to my face. Then thats when I said he should be grateful I still have a heart. That if not I 'll do magun and tie them both then snap the lady and put up her pix since she won't leave my husband alone. But I quikly told him but I can't do that. That no matter how badly he treats me I will never go the diabolic ways
No one knew my husband wasn't home. I still put up our pix on BBM and pple wished me HWA. But deep down I wasn't celebrating it. I faked all the smiles and told them my husband and I would go out in the night. He didn't even come home at all
I didn't even tell my sisters of any close friends. Up till today. It was only his mum I called to tell her son to return home and his cousin that was with us at the time it happened. It was later I got to know why he was angry and decided to spend our wedding anniversary with his mistress was because I called his mistress to leave us alone for me and my husband to solve our issues. She and my husband kept talking about our home.
Everything said here is nothing but the truth. I didn't add and I didn't subtract.
Thank you all for the advice. Decison made. So I will stand by it. So help me God
I dont know what to say again, and i dont want to pity u either, this is why i am so very scared of marriage and commitment, i pray that u stand strong in all these, and if u have kids, let them be ur main priority from now on, let ur husband be from now on, when he's tired, he'll come home, and if he doesnt, so be it, its not the end of the world or the end of ur life. And lastly if there is anything u feel u are not doing right that is causing the problems, try to retrace ur steps so that u wont take part in d blame whatsoever. |
| Re: I Need your Advice by Djailer: 9:59pm On Apr 04, 2016 |
cionon:
@5minsmadness @marcjane @sexystrawberry @thearchangel @postman @twinkie8 @fem29 @herbie27 @armchair @vikky014 @slam7000 @sonya4all @joavid @talkingbird @ekaka1 @hotguy27 @vislabraye @hunted @ceccylia @kingadeolumo1 @victorazy @aforti @raumdeuter @onoja12 @mlpnig @adipose @godsend @maximum85 @poppop @younghartz @dilini @flawlessan8gel @goldman777 @lawanson44 @edpunter @rilokilley @biafranflag @9airaland @fabulousman @wowzer @worshipdevice @girlfriendsnatc @josite @rosalieene @blackprowler @lastpage @blustreak @deetus @bollinger
Those I mentioned and for to all who commented. I didnt want to state my reason for saying such in the first page so that people won't accuse me of giving so much info. I wanted to also see people's comment and advice without sentinment or pity for me and then make my decision.
I have weighed the options made my decison.
MY REASON for saying such to my husband
Reasons I talked about magun was because on our first year wedding anniversary. My husband wasn't home from Thursday till Monday. He spent the whole days with his mistress. He even told me to my face. Then thats when I said he should be grateful I still have a heart. That if not I 'll do magun and tie them both then snap the lady and put up her pix since she won't leave my husband alone. But I quikly told him but I can't do that. That no matter how badly he treats me I will never go the diabolic ways
No one knew my husband wasn't home. I still put up our pix on BBM and pple wished me HWA. But deep down I wasn't celebrating it. I faked all the smiles and told them my husband and I would go out in the night. He didn't even come home at all
I didn't even tell my sisters of any close friends. Up till today. It was only his mum I called to tell her son to return home and his cousin that was with us at the time it happened. It was later I got to know why he was angry and decided to spend our wedding anniversary with his mistress was because I called his mistress to leave us alone for me and my husband to solve our issues. She and my husband kept talking about our home.
Everything said here is nothing but the truth. I didn't add and I didn't subtract.
Thank you all for the advice. Decison made. So I will stand by it. So help me God
. 1 Like |
