A man who is too proud and never admits his mistakes and never apologises is a recipe for a horrible marriage and isnt ready to remain married. He should have remained single. In fact he still has a lot of growing up to do. The Op's husband needs to watch himself else that marriage breaks down.

Sophyrocks:
A man who is too proud and never admits his mistakes and never apologises is a recipe for a horrible marriage and isnt ready to remain married. He should have remained single. In fact he still has a lot of growing up to do. The Op's husband needs to watch himself else that marriage breaks down.

The Op too like many women married a proud man with the hopes that she could change him.

pickabeau1:



Whether you call it empty or not
The woman said I no do
The man said OK..dey go Na

Why are u blaming d man for granting her request

Everyone I told the story word for word said the man is NO LONGER interested in the marriage...

As my hubby puts it... witches want to eat someone and she runs palmoil on her body.

The husband is NOT INTERESTED in the marriage anymore.

Two days ago, hubby and I had a little disagreement and he said 'I will sleep in the sitting room carrying his pillow and covering cloth' and I said fine, goodnight dear...

A minute later... 'You are wicked o, you cannot even call me to come back'...

I did not stand up and say 'my hubby is making empty threats' and locked the door after him to aid in his 'quest' to sleep in the sitting room; I did not gather his remaining stuffs and threw it out at him.

IMHO, That husband is NOT INTERESTED in the marriage anymore...

bukatyne:


Everyone I told the story word for word said the man is NO LONGER interested in the marriage...

As my hubby puts it... witches want to eat someone and she runs palmoil on her body.

The husband is NOT INTERESTED in the marriage anymore.

Two days ago, hubby and I had a little disagreement and he said 'I will sleep in the sitting room carrying his pillow and covering cloth' and I said fine, goodnight dear...

A minute later... 'You are wicked o, you cannot even call me to come back'...

I did not stand up and say 'my hubby is making empty threats' and locked the door after him to aid in his 'quest' to sleep in the sitting room; I did not gather his remaining stuffs and threw it out at him.

IMHO, That husband is NOT INTERESTED in the marriage anymore...

What if your husband is always making these threats in the hope that you will beg him and one day you have enough and decide to call his bluff?

aisha2:


The Op too like many women married a proud man with the hopes that she could change him.

And that is where she has failed. How many times are we told as young women that people do not change after marriage? If his parents could not change him, who are you to change him? The husband on the other hand needs counselling on the proper mindset to have of marriage. If he wanted to be solo psychologically without answering to anyone else, he would have remained single. Marriage isnt by force o.

chaircover:


If you found condoms in your wife's pocket what will you think?
Sometimes it's our actions that determine how people react

Madam chaircover I am not the husband. I know a couple going through the exact same issues cinon mentioned here and I know what was initially presented was the truth. The condom and womanizing part was a BIG LIE. I called her out severally on this thread to confirm if she was the one(as anonymously as possible) and she ignored me so I understood silence for consent. I was shocked when I saw the condom angle. Everybody knows 'oga' to be a no nonsense and very proud man; that is hos major fault, it isn't hidden. And trust me, I know the womanizers in my group , he is definitely not one of them. The true fact of the matter is in her original post. I can only decipher that she decided to make it more sensational cos she didn't get the response she wanted initially. I even brought the thread to oga's attention andhe was beyond pissed, just that he isn't the Nairaland type. It is just a pity that most women here expect men to be cheats if not it won't sweet them.
Am not talking again as Av been told to let it rest but lies are lies and painting someone bad and hiding the truth so as to get pity is the lowest of the low.

Sophyrocks:
A man who is too proud and never admits his mistakes and never apologises is a recipe for a horrible marriage and isnt ready to remain married. He should have remained single. In fact he still has a lot of growing up to do. The Op's husband needs to watch himself else that marriage breaks down.

Abeg go siddon. She didn't see all of this before she married him? Are you sure it wasn't the pride and confidence that follows it that endeared her to him in the first place?

aisha2:


What if your husband is always making these threats in the hope that you will beg him and one day you have enough and decide to call his bluff?

I will not beg (I did not) and I will not lock him out either...

And I know that he will never sleep in the sitting room (except it is something really terrible (God forbid)), three steps and he will come back to the room.

If I had locked the door that night, I am pretty sure it would have escalated beyond him coming back immediately and accusing me of wickedness and terrorism

I have no qualms with Oga calling her bluff... Giving her Tfare and telling her 'I must not meet you here bla bla' suffices

Collecting her keys and involving the gateman is a no no

Sophyrocks:


And that is where she has failed. How many times are we told as young women that people do not change after marriage? If his parents could not change him, who are you to change him? The husband on the other hand needs counselling on the proper mindset to have of marriage. If he wanted to be solo psychologically without answering to anyone else, he would have remained single. Marriage isnt by force o.

They both need counseling. I am a little skeptical about the cheating part because that would have been the first thing she would have mentioned and thats a bigger issue than calling her bluff.

He needs to let go of cheating if indeed cheating is the issue, he also needs to keep his ego at the door when he gets home, a man is the head not just for pride but for responsibility, if any disagreement gets to the point of name calling then the head has failed, a man should be able to do his best to keep his home at peace. Carrying pride like some achievement won't give him any peace but strife.

The woman needs to learn what is important. Cheating is unacceptable and making empty threats is not the way forward. Sadly if she knew who she was marrying before she married then change cannot be automatic or achieved through threats. Either she lives with that choice, she ignores it or she walks away. People hardly change until they want to or decide too. Even God with all the powers God had to create the world, mountains and hills can't force a man to change, God will give you the choice and chance to change then leave you to your fate. I don't know where our sisters get the notion that they are stronger than God

bukatyne:


I will not beg (I did not) and I will not lock him out either...

And I know that he will never sleep in the sitting room (except it is something really terrible (God forbid)), three steps and he will come back to the room.

If I had locked the door that night, I am pretty sure it would have escalated beyond him coming back immediately and accusing me of wickedness and terrorism

Well as his friend and his wife have said here oga is a proud maybe rude man. And as the friend said she knew before she married him so threatening him to change clearly wont work am sure you are not proud like oga here lol

aisha2:


Well as his friend and his wife have said here oga is a proud maybe rude man. And as the friend said she knew before she married him so threatening him to change clearly wont work am sure you are not proud like oga here lol

LOL

She might known who she married anyways

I hope they work it out anyways

bukatyne:


Everyone I told the story word for word said the man is NO LONGER interested in the marriage...

As my hubby puts it... witches want to eat someone and she runs palmoil on her body.

The husband is NOT INTERESTED in the marriage anymore.

Two days ago, hubby and I had a little disagreement and he said 'I will sleep in the sitting room carrying his pillow and covering cloth' and I said fine, goodnight dear...

A minute later... 'You are wicked o, you cannot even call me to come back'...

I did not stand up and say 'my hubby is making empty threats' and locked the door after him to aid in his 'quest' to sleep in the sitting room; I did not gather his remaining stuffs and threw it out at him.

IMHO, That husband is NOT INTERESTED in the marriage anymore...

Not sure there was a question for me here

Are u saying the man was waiting for an opportunity and that the woman is innocent of her acidic mouth

pickabeau1:


Not sure there was a question for me here

Are u saying the man was waiting for an opportunity and that the woman is innocent of her acidic mouth

They both have acidic mouth so I wonder why the focus on that of the wife

5minsmadness:

Abeg go siddon. She didn't see all of this before she married him? Are you sure it wasn't the pride and confidence that follows it that endeared her to him in the first place?

Yes she married you. But that doeesnt mean you must continue with what will destroy your marriage. If you are the man in question, you are now married. Work on your marriage. Put your pride aside. Pride they say causes a fall. You dnt want a fall in your marriage. If you know you cannot put your pride aside and apologise when wrong, you should have remained single. thats the bitter truth. Pride kills marriages. Make changes for the good of your marriage. work on yourself. Learn to accept wrong and apologise.

bukatyne:


They both have acidic mouth so I wonder why the focus on that of the wife

So what was your point exactly

pickabeau1:


So what was your point exactly

It is actually your point I don't get

If the both of them have acidic mouth, why should the husband move out for her?

It is not like if he marries another wife, his acidic mouth and pride will not ruin it.

Or does the husband have the 'right' to an acidic mouth and the wife does not?

bukatyne:


It is actually your point I don't get

If the both of them have acidic mouth, why should the husband move out for her?

It is not like if he marries another wife, his acidic mouth and pride will not ruin it.

Or does the husband have the 'right' to an acidic mouth and the wife does not?

Since we don't get each other's points
It's all good

Take a break ...show some respect to the men and women staking their lives in the fight against BH https://www.nairaland.com/2127885/thread-dedicated-nigerian-service-men#30389335

cionon:
Yesterday I decided to have a good conversation with my husband on certain matters affecting our marriage for its good. And it turned nasty. Though i expected it but not to the extent of how it ended. My husband doesn't know how to handle certain issues. He told me my own faults which I agreed to work on and I also told he him his fault but he refused to accept it.

To cut the story short, it turned out to be a heated argument because he always insists he does the right things while I do the wrong ones. And it became a tongue lashing thing. I am not the abusive person but i was surprised at what I said maybe because the issue has been Piling up which I feel bad about. He too said hurtful things to me later on.

I also said I wasn't interested in the marriage if he can't accept his fault and make efforts to change. He told me what am i waiting for that I can leave the next day which is today. I said fine I will leave and to my suprise, this morning, he gave me transport fare to go back to my parents house. I expected him to beg me and say he will change not give me transport fare. He even took my own keys to the house and gave the security to lock the door after I leave

Please I need your advice. Though one of my neighbours who heard the argument said I shouldn't leave but stay and beg. I love my husband but his character is what's putting me off.

Please how do I try and calm him as well as. ..Clear this mess cos the marriage is still young?
Tnx criticisms and advice are welcome

Please no front page!

...galfriend, its not stated the things he does that put you off so apprioprate advice can be given .. however, do not move an inch from your home. Never threaten a man if you don 't mean to walk the talk..humble yourself, apologise to him and start work on yourself, the things he raised ...you may have been judgemental on your presentation the things you raised about him...that matters alot. You know the man you are married to, you should know the way to soften his heart, if there are things you must help him to grow with or out of, correct him in love in a relaxed and playful way,once done, don 't dwell on it...trust me, men listen...its just an adjustment period for you both, whatever is stressing you is not more important than your man or you peace of mind

cionon:


Like i said i was on my way out when my neigbhour spoke to me. My husband is a very proud person who never says he is sorry when wrong. He has done so many things i keep piling. I have been patient with him. I would have left i stil have the keys to my father's house but i just want to give him one more chance to correct his mis deeds.

It's never too late to start afresh. Since you know you're married to a person who repulses you, why not move into your father's house where you can have peace of mind and no disrespect whatsoever?

bluedaze:
The same thing happened to my friend and she took her daughter and went to lodge in a hotel, it was the man that came begging. But wait, this one he is giving you transport fare to your fathers house? How old are you again?

Not every man is a pansy. Mr. Cionon, certainly isn't a pansy.

Nonso23:


How do you know the lady is a prostitute
Many married men and women have very indiscreet and dirty chats with members of the opposite sex and do not count it as cheating. Maybe why he doesn't even think it is necessary to apologise is because he believes the same. You still do not have sufficient proof.

With regards calling bluffs; we are very alike. Does your husband like chess too?

Oh you were attempting to corner him with the " i will tell mummy and daddy for you" trick in this 2015? No man wants to be controlled you flopped,

@bolded please do unto others as you want done to you, if it was reversed I bet you'd be the first to scream blue murder!

Cionon cionon cionon
You need a job
Try to get one ASAP

cionon:
Yesterday I decided to have a good conversation with my husband on certain matters affecting our marriage for its good. And it turned nasty. Though i expected it but not to the extent of how it ended. My husband doesn't know how to handle certain issues. He told me my own faults which I agreed to work on and I also told he him his fault but he refused to accept it.

To cut the story short, it turned out to be a heated argument because he always insists he does the right things while I do the wrong ones. And it became a tongue lashing thing. I am not the abusive person but i was surprised at what I said maybe because the issue has been Piling up which I feel bad about. He too said hurtful things to me later on.

I also said I wasn't interested in the marriage if he can't accept his fault and make efforts to change. He told me what am i waiting for that I can leave the next day which is today. I said fine I will leave and to my suprise, this morning, he gave me transport fare to go back to my parents house. I expected him to beg me and say he will change not give me transport fare. He even took my own keys to the house and gave the security to lock the door after I leave

Please I need your advice. Though one of my neighbours who heard the argument said I shouldn't leave but stay and beg. I love my husband but his character is what's putting me off.

Please how do I try and calm him as well as. Clear this mess cos the marriage is still young?
Tnx criticisms and advice are welcome

Please no front page!

u shuldnt have argued with ur husband at all to the extent of you telling him that u are no more interested.at least,he is ur husband(ur head).when some people tend to b difficult to live with,our attitude can pacify things.allow him to come back 4rm work and beg him that u dont mean what u said,and promise to change.if he still says that u shuld go,then inform his family members and they will resolve it 4 u.Lastly whenever u are angry,mimd what u say.A wife told her husband that he will poison his husband when she was angry,did u know that even though the family of the man begged on behalf of d wife,the man never ate 4rm his wife again.the words we say when we are angry can increase or stop other pples anger.A SOFT ANGER TURNETH AWAY WRATH

Thanks to you all for the advice. Learnt one or two from my actions and your advice worked. Working on myself to be a better wife now and hope he changes.

Hmm.

Liar... but it's all good sha.

The truth lies in your original post. The rest are all lies to solicit pity. I know people like you and it disgusts me. What will you use the pity for?

Rubbish

When you put a toad in a pot of water and you start boiling the water at 45•c the toad adjust its body to the temp of the water at 100•c it won't be able to adjust anymore, now it tries to jump out bt d strength isn't there anymore,it dies .... Assuming it used its strength to jump out the pot instead of using it to adjust to the temp..it would have bn alive.... Moral: don't think things will get better along the line, rather pack your things and leave.....if he really loves you he won't let you leave.

Never beg for love in a relationship or marriage if not you will forever beg just to maintain it...

@OP:

Hope all is well?

madam, madam , madam!!!"
my fiancee out of pride threw my ring at me and expected me the husband to be to call and apologise to her but the situation now is worst at her end.
I can't take her again
go beg your husband whether you're right or not.
make devil no deceive you say men plenty.