Well, I am not married and may not know what this is about but I can still give some advice.

There is something about men that always think they are right, they don't want you to keep telling them they are wrong and most of all arguing about it. To handle men like this i think you just have to make your point , establish it and keep quiet, dont argue, no insults, dont compare him with anybody.

But since the deed is already done, I think what you should do is apologise and explain to him that you only said all those things because of how hurt you feel , let him know how much you love him and deserve his respect (in a mild way please). It doesnt make you weak, it makes you the mature one and he will appreciate you for that, he might not tell you just to show himself but it ill be in his mind.

Avoid saying things you cannot do, because even if infact you can actually do them, you will be at the receiving end as the woman. Don't be using gragra for men like that, it doesnt work, He will only feel you want to ride him, but quietly make your point and reinforce it. He is your hubby and you love him right, abeg forget matter of leaving the house, I am sure he is also just showing himself. Settle this before they call family meeting on both of you.

I learnt long ago that gragra will not pay me as a woman o. Women are many out there ready to fling one out at anytime.

Mind you, be looking sexy too o. Good luck

raumdeuter:

If [b]someone in your house [/b]told you they want to leave, isnt the courteous thing to give them transport fare and give her intructions on how to leave the house?
Assuming the man threw her stuff out now without her mentioning her intention to leave then we can say he kicked her out

Not holding brief for empty threats (OP threatening divorce at sign of conflict is a no no) but its THEIR house naa oga.

She said I am not interested in the marriage(agreed wrong ) not I want to go back to my father's house..That transport fare gesture kinda signals 'this is more my house than yours'.

ileobatojo:


Even when you told her your wh0res were better than her?

Lol!
No be me talk dat one. The babe is lying Jo, that's not what happened and oga is not the type that lays his matter on social media. He used my handle and left in a fit of anger. Me I no join mouth again let them settle their issues.

Ewuro4:


1. Damn right .. Couples fight , it's a norm.

2. Take a breather , yes.
Leave the marriage? Why would he?

Couples fight yes, Do they threaten each others with divorce or leaving?

Some people like me dont deal with threats. I think its childish and what you threaten, you need to carry it out

Ewuro4:


1. Damn right .. Couples fight , it's a norm.

2. Take a breather , yes.
Leave the marriage? Why would he?

Madam....
You r not getting it

They have been having couple fights up.n.down


She raised the bar with the D word
The man.said ok na..i agree


The issue you have..i.put to you...is that he is the one staying put in.d house

Maybe he wants d divorce

damiso:


Not holding brief for empty threats (OP threatening divorce at sign of conflict is a no no) but its THEIR house naa oga.

She said I am not interested in the marriage(agreed wrong ) not I want to go back to my father's house..That transport fare gesture kinda signals 'this is more my house than yours'.

Another home holder

So if he leaves the house for her.

You are ok

What does I am.not interested in marriage mean again ?

Is it different from divorce
.LOL

damiso:


Not holding brief for empty threats (OP threatening divorce at sign of conflict is a no no) but its THEIR house naa oga.

She said I am not interested in the marriage(agreed wrong ) not I want to go back to my father's house..That transport fare gesture kinda signals 'this is more my house than yours'.

You saw the bold below right?

cionon:
[size=14pt]I said fine I will leave[/size] and to my suprise, this morning, he gave me transport fare to go back to my parents house. I expected him to beg me and say he will change not give me transport fare. He even took my own keys to the house and gave the security to lock the door after I leave

She stated her desires to LEAVE in plain words no misinterpretations here.

================================================================================

They are staying together because they are in a marriage, If one party isn't interested in the marriage any longer then its logical they don't continue to stay in the same house

Since the OP indicated her desires to leave, Should she be held against her wish?

If she believes its their house would she say she wants to leave? Do you leave your property?

The op keeps peeking in and enjoying the fracas she has created

raumdeuter:


1. You can only trash something out TOGETHER with someone who is interested in doing so, Not someone who wants to LEAVE.

2. How do you solve an issue TOGETHER when one person wants to LEAVE?

3. And the man didnt throw her out. He didnt give her ultimatum to leave

4. He gave her transport so that any option she chooses she can achieve

5. If she wants to stay fine, If she want to leave, she would have the needed fares

1.You don't know her plight about making her marriage work, so please stop the rash conclusions.

2. Again speak for yourself, you don't know her.

3. Giving her Tfare validated that. Marble on the wall.

4. He's so damn wrong to do that.

5. She obviously doesn't wanna leave. Giving her the Tfare provokes her ego too. And my question still remains, would he have given her Tfare if she coowned that house with him? He's a bully.

raumdeuter:


1.Couples fight yes, Do they threaten each others with divorce or leaving?

2. Some people like me dont deal with threats. I think its childish and what you threaten, you need to carry it out

1. Yes when you're provoked to the T. We are all human and say regretful things we don't mean. That doesn't give the other party to feast on.

2. Then you're the child that needs to go back home for marriage retraining not her.

Nonso23:
Women dey funny.
House that is a product of his sweat, effort and stress. He should leave it for you??

You are a co-owner as a wife until you directly or indirectly indicate your interest to leave the union. Then it becomes 'all man answer your papa name' which is not a bad idea at all.

Lol
That's what is causing the wahala

I even asked if he left the house next morning.

They don't mind

Ewuro4:

1.You don't know her plight about making her marriage work, so please stop the rash conclusions.

2. Again speak for yourself, you don't know her.

3. Giving her Tfare validated that. Marble on the wall.

4. He's so damn wrong to do that.

5. She obviously doesn't wanna leave. Giving her the Tfare provokes her ego too. And my question still remains, would he have given her Tfare if she coowned that house with him? He's a bully.

1. How is she trying to make her marriage work by indicating she wants to leave? Leaving is a verbal indication of intent to dissolve the marriage, So how can she be trying to make her marrriage work and still be verbalising her intent to dissolve it at the same time?

2. TOGETHER and LEAVE are opposite in meaning in such context. Saying you want to leave means you dont want to do it together

3. She said it first she wanted to leave. The man simply gave her what she need to achieve her goal

4. What could be wrong in helping her achieve her goal? Would it be right to lock her indoors or hold her against her wish?

5. She doesnt want to leave but says she wants to leave? Who does that ?Anyone who isnt a toddler is expected to verbalise what you mean, I cant tell you "I want to eat" when actually I meant "I DO NOT want to eat".

pickabeau1:


Madam....
You r not getting it

They have been having couple fights up.n.down


She raised the bar with the D word
The man.said ok na..i agree


The issue you have..i.put to you...is that he is the one staying put in.d house

Maybe he wants d divorce

You're the one adding to the story. I'm only dealing with what was said here.

'Saying the D word Raised the bar'.. Laughable

Women

No wonder they say when a woman says NO..she means maybe

Maybe is YES

So now I'm leaving is like let's stay together

Feminine Lingo....lol

Ewuro4:


1. Yes when you're provoked to the T. We are all human and say regretful things we don't mean. That doesn't give the other party to feast on.

2. Then you're the child that needs to go back home for marriage retraining not her.

1. Even when provoked to any extent you are expected as adults to say what you mean, No one is a mind reader to know what you meant is different from what you say. When someone provokes you go ahead and threaten to kill him/her then when the other party calls the cops or sues you (aka feast on it) tell him he is wrong

2. Okay. My training already told me only say what you mean.

So if Im provoked and call you a bastard you'll go for my head coz in your little world , you don't like being called bastard. Pleeesee

Yall need a lot of training to attend. Nuff said. I'm tired of going round in circles

5minsmadness:

Lol!
No be me talk dat one. The babe is lying Jo, that's not what happened and oga is not the type that lays his matter on social media. He used my handle and left in a fit of anger. Me I no join mouth again let them settle their issues.

Yimu.

Ewuro4:


You're the one adding to the story. I'm only dealing with what was said here.

'Saying the D word Raised the bar'.. Laughable

Once again..i ask you

Have you read the original post

Let me quote for you

I also said I wasn't interested in the marriage if he can't accept his fault and make efforts to change. He told me what am i waiting for that I can leave the next day which is today. I said fine I will leave and to my suprise, this morning

Ewuro4:
So if Im provoked and call you a bastard you'll go for my head coz in your little world , you don't like being called bastard. Pleeesee

Yall need a lot of training to attend. Nuff said. I'm tired of going round in circles

Is there a repercussion for calling me a bastardd? knowledge of English tells me its not a term of endearment

If someone calls you a bastard, what would you do? Buy them candy?

Nonso23:
Women dey funny.
House that is a product of his sweat, effort and stress. He should leave it for you??

You are a co-owner as a wife until you directly or indirectly indicate your interest to leave the union. Then it becomes 'all man answer your papa name' which is not a bad idea at all.

You scare the shait out of me man ain't kidding.

Nonso23:


The husband even gave her Tfare ... in this naija
I think O.p is realizing that she's about to lose a very good man and hence is grasping at the wind for all available forms of moral support.

Not everybody will take serious threats like that lying low. Any man who begs his wife after she throws the Divorce word has automatically ceded the steering of the marriage to her. It would become a case of her doing him a favor by staying married to him.
That man is a real man.

That may be why she brought up the condom angle. ...who knows

raumdeuter:


Is there a repercussion for calling me a bastardd? knowledge of English tells me its not a term of endearment

If someone calls you a bastard, what would you do?

Nobody calls out that term without prior situation in my neck of the woods.. Or cookoo

I'll definitely leave the place for him/her. Period.

Ewuro4:


You scare the shait out of me man ain't kidding.

Ewuro he is actually right on that statement.

If you own a house and your husband move in with you, that moment he becomes a co-owner. The moment he declares he is not longer interested in the union he ceases to be a co-owner. Is that wrong to say?

Ewuro4:


Nobody calls out that term without prior situation in my neck of the woods.. Or cookoo

I'll definitely leave the place for him/her. Period.

Exactly you separate yourself from that situatuon. Would you stay there hug theperson and assume the person meant to call you "darling" or "sweetheart" when he actually said "Bastardd"?

raumdeuter:


Ewuro he is actually right on that statement.

If you own a house and your husband move in with you, that moment he becomes a co-owner. The moment he declares he is not longer interested in the union he ceases to be a co-owner. Is that wrong to say?

Very wrong. I have no right throwing him out of the house unless he voluntarily leave ( and he's still entitled to 50% with equity just so you don't know) I see where cococandy meant about hating western culture.

You men are very dangerous.

pickabeau1:


Another home holder

So if he leaves the house for her.

You are ok

What does I am.not interested in marriage mean again ?

Is it different from divorce
.LOL

That's why I said empty threats naa if you want to leave why don't you just leave without announcement? People that want to leave just do it so all that her 'announcement' was childish.

That said it's not about who leaves the house .It's more one person choosing not to act as childish and immature as the next person. They sha slept in that house till the next morning.

raumdeuter:

You saw the bold below right?
She stated her desires to LEAVE in plain words no misinterpretations here.
================================================================================
They are staying together because they are in a marriage, If one party isn't interested in the marriage any longer then its logical they don't continue to stay in the same house
Since the OP indicated her desires to leave, Should she be held against her wish?
If she believes its their house would she say she wants to leave? Do you leave your property?

I agree with your last sentence a bit sha. I know he too gave her 'transport fare' to add melodrama to it too joor.

I know couples fight (me and my husband have had our fair share) but one person knowing when to diffuse tension or soft pedalling for the other helps..Humour helps as well.If hubby gives me transport money(won't happen though just saying) the next morning after an argument I will tell him I will use it to buy a top because this is my house. What's your own sef so you too are taking what I said seriously (I agree that individuals and relationships differ though) He too could have also said in a joking manner ' so madam will you be here when I get back'

Me I am not blaming the husband because i know some people hate being threatened but I think he could have also not gone down her melo dramatic route.

That said there seems to be underlying issues that they both need to sort out.

Nonso23:

May you live long!

Yimu

I'm out jare.