Bitojoe:
Its better she return back to her husband house, before the worst thing started happening.

What can be worst than going back there to be killed by the violent man?

onoja12:
most of them are usually the first to lunch other forms of abuses,so i advice you go and study about abuses

Honey Pls don't quote me again
I prefer people with reason quoting me so we can dialogue.
Thanks a lot dear

Billyonaire:
The institution called marriage is not all about sex, kids and nuclear relationship. It involves unexpected challenges from the extended family network. The ability to manage your emotion and home effectively, then create harmony for your wife and kids is what makes a real man, a real husband and a real father. You must merge these 3 personalities in one to earn the title Patriarch of a Family. The man in question here, is just an emotionally imbalanced egomaniac. He needs 3 tablets of humility and 6 capsules of emotional intelligence.

You got humor What you listed is what a Complete Husband should possess. As there is no perfect man on earth and only few striving to be, there is a problem here, how can it be solved with this type of man? Don't judge him because you don't know him only as the Wife's friend described. How can the issue be solved without breaking the marriage is my point of argument. I don't support abuse neither do I divorce. We don't know the whole story.

Rose2014:

May whatever we wish for come to us. Amen
Maybe u can handle it when it happens to ur kids, I can't. May God never allow any of my kids suffer physical violence with their spouses before I begin to ask what I'll do. Cos people get killed during physical violence very easily cos of the so called anger from d spouse.
Later the same spouse will blame d devil when d deed is already done. Too late

hey shut your fokn trap. There is what they call courtship,its meant for you to know your partner before signing the dotted lines,not just having good time together and fokn your life away and getting carried away by the size of his deek,his performance in bed,his bank account and beauty. If after courting a man/woman and you decided to still go ahead and marry him,you should be able to tolerate whatever you find there. There is no perfect ma/woman or marriage anywhere,marriage is full of ups and down,the watchword is tolerance,if you are not ready to tolerate don't even think of going inside.

SmooshCHN:
That's how people ought to see marriage. They should commit all to God and apply love and wisdom instead they all pick sides against a grown man who stupidly values his ego over peace in his family.
I'm quite sure she helping the Husband wasn't the cause of the problem but the fact the family sees it that he owes them his dignity for the help their daughter gave is the problem and a grown man will never do that. She should go back to her husband. He his grateful to her for helping him and also as his wife not her mother or her brother or her friend. Families don't destroy families happiness they help expand it.

You're not getting it. The man is not ready for any reconciliation between himself and the wife's mum. He's not ready for any prayer. The hatred he has for her didn't start when she asked the daughter to send him back to Nigeria. The mother only said that when he beat her up because she went to visit her own mother and came late. That man to me is irresponsible and a beast!

of course when you have no respect for strangers how would you have respect for your husband.am sorry for that unfortunate man,that is if there is one

Rose2014:

Honey Pls don't quote me again
I prefer people with reason quoting me so we can dialogue.
Thanks a lot dear

rokiatu:
Guam!!!!

You know he has beaten her twice, there's a lot of things that this man does that I didn't even day. She's terribly unhappy. He even took his gf over to his house, and lied that was his fried gf. They all had dinner, they wife later found out she was infact his gf. I am just laughing at the people saying I am painting him as a devil lol There's been case upon case, issues upon issues but this main issue at head hence the reason I didn't go into the others.

If there is a girlfriend in the equation, then the formula for solving this equation must change. There is a third order formula for this equation now. The woman MUST employ damage control mechanism here.

IYANGBALI:
abused?who abused her?do you know what it means to be abused? You only heard her own side of the story,wait for the man's own. Marriage is for better for worse,full of ups and downs,its not for babies. If you are not ready to face the heat in marriage stay in your father's house.

True

IYANGBALI:
hey shut your fokn trap. There is what they call courtship,its meant for you to know your partner before signing the dotted lines,not just having good time together and fokn your life away and getting carried away by the size of his deek,his performance in bed,his bank account and beauty. If after courting a man/woman and you decided to still go ahead and marry him,you should be able to tolerate whatever you find there. There is no perfect ma/woman or marriage anywhere,marriage is full of ups and down,the watchword is tolerance,if you are not ready to tolerate don't even think of going inside.

Biko biko biko don't insult me inugo?
Do u think all d men & women that r being abused today saw that coming from the beginning?

Anyway as u wish, may it be granted unto u. Peace

The wife is helping to wreck her own marriage, home and the lives of the kids. This has nothing to do about him getting his papers. For whatever reasons ... he did not like his mother in law from jump. The wife knew that. She had to know that he was not going to the family dinner ... so it was like by force...if you don't show up I'll teach you a lesson and she did what she did....as you said..because "he disrespected her family". She has disrespected her husband and marriage...and to add salt to the wound...moved herself and 'her kids' to the root of the problem. She didn't move because he beat her...and injured the child...oh nooo...that was not reason enough....but not to show up for the family dinner?... all hell must break loose. They live abroad.....calling the police for a one time incident was not necessary ... he now has a police record that can affect his climbing the ladder or having more opportunities opened to him to better his life and that of his family if they get over this hurdle. I'm surprised he was not arrested and charged....maybe he was. On papers...if that's all he wanted then the wife has given him a golden opportunity for him to file for divorce on the grounds of abandonment....she has abandoned him by moving out. The wife is now suffering...no sex...no help to take care of the kids...and her mother is also feeling the pressure of child care and extras in her home...her regular routine is now all messed up....and most likely is trying to send her daughter back to where she belongs. What can she do?...I guess try getting on her knees and start apologising to the husband. If he does accept her back she should know things not going to be the same......she has to do extra over time to bring the relationship back to the low level it was just before all this dinner drama. The End .

onoja12:
of course when you have no respect for strangers how would you have respect for your husband.am sorry for that unfortunate man,that is if there is one

So upon all my 'abeg' u still quoted me again?
There is god o

AgapeCharis:
You're not getting it. The man is not ready for any reconciliation between himself and the wife's mum. He's not ready for any prayer. The hatred he has for her didn't start when she asked the daughter to send him back to Nigeria. The mother only said that when he beat her up because she went to visit her own mother and came late. That man to me is irresponsible and a beast!

You only said that because the story is one sided. If you know women and arguments you will like to hear both parties before you judge. The man's ego is so visible because he has refused emotional blackmail from the mother. He made a big mistake of abuse earlier but presently the wife just packed out because of the rift between her husband and mother. You can read the story again.

the op and her friend are stupid. Did the man leave after getting his papers? did he bring another woman into the house after getting his papers?
its the ops friend that left and people still think the man is wrong? a grown human has the right to dislike who ever he/she wants to. We nigerians love deceit, y'all want him to go and pretend. when a problem should be solved.
he'll get there and be annoyed by the mothers every words and body movement.
your friend need cane for her brain. fish brained thing. Mscheew

Rose2014:

What can be worst than going back there to be killed by the violent man?

i dont think he's violent.is she her mother that she married or the man? I just wonder why most women had divorce spirit in them.

As for me the wife should go back to her husband,the husband and the wife's mon will sought out dere difference's one day.. Finally the wife should handover everything to God..

I condemned the man for beating his wife and in the process, injured the little child. Apart from that, I support him for all his actions. He should never go to the mother-in-law to beg for the return of his wife or explain his actions. If they want to keep there daughter, goodluck. He is my real man but he should never abuse his wife again.

As for you lady, you lied that this happened to your close friend when you're the one. This tell the kind of lady you are. Allowing your parents to have major say in your own home and expecting your husband to succumbed, pleads for mercy is unacceptable.

GO BACK TO YOUR HUSBAND HOUSE OR STAY BACK AND FEEL THE SHAME FOREVER.

Rose2014:

Biko biko biko don't insult me inugo?
Do u think all d men & women that r being abused today saw that coming from the beginning?

Anyway as u wish, may it be granted unto u. Peace

fok off and remember to grow up. Marriage is not for babies,it requires prayers,patience and tolerance,keep dat in mind and spread the gospel

Rose2014:

I remember u from the other wife beating thread.
Why do U seem to derive much pleasure in seeing women battered. Any remember u may have daughters someday & Karma never fails to react. Let's be careful what we say even though this is a faceless forum.
Please don't beat ur wife cos she may silently kill u one day. Nobody has d monopoly of violence

I hate seeing people battered not just women. You will also have sons too and karma is also a bitch and never fails to act. Pls don't beat and emotionally hurt your husband cos he may silently kill you one day. Nobody has a monopoly of violence.
I have questions for rokiatu, how come the husband only started beating her only after their marriage, when he never raised his hands on her all the while they were high school sweethearts.
Besides the her mother is supposed to be a mother to them both. So if her son offends her, that is how she will behave? And you rokiatu how come she is revealing all her marital secrets to you? Are you her lesbian partner? And how many other people has she told? She seems the type that prefers to handle her marital issues with her people, friends and outsiders. She is just an overgrown kid.

Leaving the house like that is wrong.getting ur man to love ur mum is by persuasion n nt by force.de mum disrespectfuly interfered in de marriage n I think de mum is lookin down on de man bcs its her daughter dt helped him.she shd nt let her mum spoil her marriage.her mum has hurt de man's ego n it will take time to heal.its nt by force.let her go bk to her home,allow de issue wit her mum to be fixed gradualy.you cnt force this type of issue n her mum shud show de guy som respect.

segzicres:
the op and her friend are stupid. Did the man leave after getting his papers? did he bring another woman into the house after getting his papers?
its the ops friend that left and people still think the man is wrong? a grown human has the right to dislike who ever he/she wants to. We nigerians love deceit, y'all want him to go and pretend. when a problem should be solved.
he'll get there and be annoyed by the mothers every words and body movement.
your friend need cane for her brain. fish brained thing. Mscheew

I guess u didn't read the part that the man is physically abusive.
Abi u prefer for her to get killed so u can type RIP? Chose one

May God judge y'all if you help in breaking her marriage. Including @Rokiatu Help her get back first. Then the issue between her Mum and Hubby can be settled later. They were dating before he needed papers. If that's all he wanted he would've gone I think. I may not be totally right but don't let things get worse.

dinachi:

I hate seeing people battered not just women. You will also have sons too and karma is also a bitch and never fails to act. Pls don't beat and emotionally hurt your husband cos he may silently kill you one day. Nobody has a monopoly of violence.
I have questions for rokiatu, how come the husband only started beating her only after their marriage, when he never raised his hands on her all the while they were high school sweethearts.
Besides the her mother is supposed to be a mother to them both. So if her son offends her, that is how she will behave? And you rokiatu how come she is revealing all her marital secrets to you? Are you her lesbian partner? And how many other people has she told? She seems the type that prefers to handle her marital issues with her people, friends and outsiders. She is just an overgrown kid.

God bless you jare

kandiikane:
He is playing "big boy" at the moment but depending on how much she knows Her husband and whether he actually feels the same for her, she could ride it out and when the hubby is ready to come down to earth, he will go get her. BUT, my worry is whether the guy does not give a shyt where the wife is as long as she is not in their home......I mean, if he has his papers now, he will probably be thinking he should spread his wings and fly with the way his acting towards the whole situation.


I recommend she goes back and leave mom and hubby to be for now as long as she and the children can go to the mum's house freely without him stopping them. I mean, she won't win this battle staying outside, she needs to do it inside her home because if she is not at home who will shuku shuku inside the man's ear for him to come to his senses? She has to build their relationship from her marital home but she also has to understand it is not by force to like someone, some people just do not click. The man too is being immature as he can still be cordial even if he doesn't like the mum. Shows he has no respect for your friend and her family.

it's hard sha, when we don't know exactly how the man behaves towards the wife.

I personally won't have any man disrespect my mother, no matter how much in love I am. If you cannot get along with my mother then you cannot be in my life...Just saying but since she is married with kids she has to think about the situation carefully.

I will not go for her because i did not send her away. Paper or no paper. You don't look down on people u helped because u helped them. If am the man, because she prefared her mum to me, she should stay with her mum till she come to her senses.

dinachi:

I hate seeing people battered not just women. You will also have sons too and karma is also a bitch and never fails to act. Pls don't beat and emotionally hurt your husband cos he may silently kill you one day. Nobody has a monopoly of violence.
I have questions for rokiatu, how come the husband only started beating her only after their marriage, when he never raised his hands on her all the while they were high school sweethearts.
Besides the her mother is supposed to be a mother to them both. So if her son offends her, that is how she will behave? And you rokiatu how come she is revealing all her marital secrets to you? Are you her lesbian partner? And how many other people has she told? She seems the type that prefers to handle her marital issues with her people, friends and outsiders. She is just an overgrown kid.

That's what I was trying to say. The bolded is what the Mother in law ought to know. @Rose2014

dinachi:

I hate seeing people battered not just women. You will also have sons too and karma is also a bitch and never fails to act. Pls don't beat and emotionally hurt your husband cos he may silently kill you one day. Nobody has a monopoly of violence.
I have questions for rokiatu, how come the husband only started beating her only after their marriage, when he never raised his hands on her all the while they were high school sweethearts.
Besides the her mother is supposed to be a mother to them both. So if her son offends her, that is how she will behave? And you rokiatu how come she is revealing all her marital secrets to you? Are you her lesbian partner? And how many other people has she told? She seems the type that prefers to handle her marital issues with her people, friends and outsiders. She is just an overgrown kid.

My son should drop any lady that tries to go violent on him. He should drop her ass already instead of beating her cos one may end up killing the other.
Violence? No no anytime whether male or female. Do u know someone can die from ordinary slap?

Rose2014:

I guess u didn't read the part that the man is physically abusive.

na lie,I know the man in question,he is as gentle as our President,the woman is just like mama peace

SmooshCHN:


That's what I was trying to say. The bolded is what the Mother in law ought to know. @Rose2014

Fair enough

I Ve not heard anywhere anytime that running away from a problem will solve it. God instituted marriage for a reason so the woman should go back to the husband... miracles happen...

Bitojoe:


i dont think he's violent.is she her mother that she married or the man? I just wonder why most women had divorce spirit in them.

U didn't read that the man has beaten her twice already.
Good thing women are beginning to learn to move out quietly when the abuser least expects so he doesn't get a hint and kill her in the process

IYANGBALI:
na lie,I know the man in question,he is as gentle as our President,the woman is just like mama peace

Rose2014:

My son should drop any lady that tries to go violent on him. He should drop her ass already instead of beating her cos one may end up killing the other.
Violence? No no anytime whether male or female. Do u know someone can die from ordinary slap?

Now you are talking!
You are a well behaved woman, even online. I respect that.

dinachi:

Now you are talking!
You are a well behaved woman, even online. I respect that.

Awww thanks love