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Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 8:10am On Mar 24, 2015 |
bukatyne:I use LG turbo drum. Ok so far. Go to LG shop specifically and check it out. if u like it,u can go for it. |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 11:19am On Mar 24, 2015 |
These childcare costs are truly crazy outside Nigeria. My cousin recently started working full-time when Kid1 was 2n a half and Kid2 1yr3months. Prior to that kids did 2days full-time crèche covered by benefits. She got a job cos she was 'going' cuckoo staying at home and they could not afford to live on one income. Its her dream job so she ain't leaving but the con is that she pays 1day crèche and 2days child-minder at about £900pounds per month. So half her salary is for childcare but at least she can contribute to bills and buy herself stuff. I'm beginning to think a live-in au pair is cheaper with weekends' off. In fact when I convert to naira sef na well paid job for Naija |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by raayah(f): 11:21am On Mar 24, 2015 |
. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Rose2014: 11:58am On Mar 24, 2015 |
raayah:This story is very touching. But my joy is that your mom is still alive while you tell this story. Thank God. Some didn't live to tell theirs. What worried me more as I read your story is not even the fact that your mom was solely fending for the family but the fact that her man was still physically abusive. There is god o You're right, being a SAHM is a risk. I think 'risk' is a better word to describe it cos while some appreciate you, some men will make u regret quitting that job to take care of their home. |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Rose2014: 12:08pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
babyosisi:I couldn't stop chuckling reading this I no fit laff again o So on point 1 Like |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Rose2014: 12:16pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
babyosisi:At the bolded, me too I've never come across one walahi As per the rest, you've said it all. One thing I admire about you is that you say it just the way it is, practically 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by bukatyne(f): 3:09pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
moca: Is that an alias for. It? Want to check the qualities online first. Thanks a lot Modified; Thanks, it looks like something I love. How much |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 3:49pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Rose2014: Thanks It has it's disadvantage but the advantages far outweigh any disadvantage there is no guess work where I stand in an issue 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 3:52pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
raayah: Your practical example has covered everything rose2014,my self,cococandy and other ladies have been trying to say and people think its a bashing of stay at home moms We live in a real wold and stuff happens Anything can happen in a marriage I will never advise any woman I know to stay at home permanently It may not work out The man can lose his job The man can become disabled and out of work The man can die sef A woman having her own steady source of income and being in the labor market has so many advantages I have seen a man die and his wife and children pack to the village or get on government assistance because the woman had no work skills to sustain the family and keep a roof over their heads Nobody prays for untoward things but life happens Thanks for sharing 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by shrekandfiona: 4:30pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
babyosisi:I don't think anyone would like to stay at home permanently earning no income however people find themselves in some conditions/situations warranting them stay home. I totally agree with madampinkolo on this. An abuser is one irrespective of your job position, earnings et all. Infact there is a thread on fp presently talking about how a man abused his wife to the point of death just because she was barren Before I relocated to join hubby, I was earning higher though he isn't an abusive person but I noticed he wasn't so comfortable with the fact that I had more despite I was the one paying most of the bills, rent etc. Now fast forward to my relocation had to resign to be with him, for almost a year I hadn't gotten another job and I discovered I was preg for my 2nd child. It was so depressing for me cos hubby is kinda tightfisted and I had to ask him for even money to fuel my car when going out,money for hair etc. however I used that stay at home period to nurse my kids esp the 2nd cos I exclusively breastfed her for almost a year till my prayers were answered and had a job again. All these while, hubby never talked down on me o but he did when I was earning more. I know your stand on working women is valid but some else's stand on being a stay at home mum may also be valid because an abuser is no respecter of one's income 1 Like |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 4:36pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
bukatyne:That's what I can't say. But LG products r very cheap. Highly affordable. |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 4:44pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
moca: We just got mom and dad a washer recently,can the generator carry a dryer too or you wash and spread out to dry in the sun? |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 4:52pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
babyosisi:Yep. it all depends on the capacity of the gen though. |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 5:12pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Just came on NL and it seems it's bash cococandy day.It's just so horrid the things people use against others.They go to whatever the person wrote eons ago and use it.Everyday,circumstances change and the view i hold today may be modified tomorrow,does it make what I wrote then less valid?At the point that's how I felt naa. It seems some people have been waiting to pounce..I have noticed also that some usernames are fond of stirring trouble and leaving snide remarks..It's not nice at all. It makes it difficult for people who truly need help to come and write in all honesty knowing that whatever they'd written before will be used against them. Take me for eg,I had issues last year,where I was disappointed with hubby does that take away from the fact that we are a happy couple doing our best to make this work?So,one day someone will dredge up what i wrote an insult me with it?Nawaya. Or is it my conviction of cheat i cheat or cheat i leave nko? It really pays to remind oneself never to rise to the bait on here,faceless forum faceless people who don't matter.Write and disappear Even internet friends using style to pass insult.tueehhhhh I'm talking to myself o jare. @babyosisi I had to laugh at your friend cancelling church..Make I no lie,i'm no longer as churcheous as I used to be.Less emotional too towards church and more invested in charity..Maybe it's the devil? I understand your view on working though..Plenty risks being SAHM esp with a bad partner.Hopefully, we all will make the best choices for us and our families.You and your hubby have really come a long way,KUdos!! I can't wait to pass this stage abeg!! @Salsera Yes,the costs can kill.I've been thinking of an aupair as well but i'm not too sure I want anyone living with us at the moment.So,i chose the nursery option and that's what we will keep using.When baby hits primary school age,we will use the wrapround care as per after school club. Aupair is luck o.Someone i know got an aupair and saw shege..One day she got a call from police..Wetin happen?Fire service was at her house,trying to get in and remove the baby from the house.Apparently, au pair went out for a smoke and mistakenly locked the baby indoors with the keys stuck inside.This same aupair during the interview said she doesn't smoke and drink. She resigned though and will resume work this year cos the kid is now older.Fortunately,her hubby is wadded just that he's a tight wad and she was having to ask for everything.So she's counting the days. Another person i know has had fantastic aupairs.Me,i don't like to take risks and i'm really hoping everything will fall in place as i start work next year.Nannies are soooooo expensive!! That's why people don't really use that option if pepper no too rest. @shrekandfiona You are strong oo!! ONE YEAR? How did you do it?!! I feel like a bad mother menn!! |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by cococandy(f): 5:16pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Spent almost all night studying and have a test this morning. I wish I could care about those lame folks but I seriously can't. I'm glad my message was gotten by all. So next time someone wants to privately advice me to stop siding with someone because they did this or that in their private life, that person will think long and hand before sending the useless email. Madampinkolo: |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 5:18pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Good luck with your test!!! This NL is really something! 1 Like |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 5:27pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
@raayah: thanks for sharing your story. I love when women share their stories and get strength from each other. Love the way the thread is coming to an end. 2 Likes |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by maclatunji: 5:35pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
imbless: Lie. This is the beginning of the problem. Who is a 'real man'? |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 5:41pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
cococandy: They have now migrated to you? Hahahahahahahahaha Someone sent you an email About ? This is getting interesting Please share and share the email too Thanks in advance |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 5:47pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Shollypopzz: Don't hold your breath |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Kimoni: 6:38pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Personally, I won't advise any intending bride to become a permanent stay at home wife. There are no guarantees in life, anything can happen. It also diminishes the self esteem of some women. Yet, it's also not okay for any working class woman to look down on the SAHMs. It has its numerous advantages also. There is nothing like a mother giving her children 24/7 care and attention as against having to outsource this important role to a minder, nanny or house help. There is reason why it is mothers and MILs that do omugwo. Looks like I am talking from both sides of my mouth se . Well my siblings and I were raised by a SAHM and we could never have achieved what we have today if not that she was always there for us. I had become a professional accountant even before I finished my undergraduate study Cuz she was always there for me 24/7 through these tedious times, travelling every now and then, risking her life on those journeys to provide whatever I needed. This is asides the constant encouragement and emotional support. Same with all my siblings. We owe her all that we have and will ever achieve. But growing up, I know she always wanted to work but my dad refused. She often had very low moments and sometimes would cry cuz she believed her self worth was nil. My heart bled for her during those times but today, I am a beneficiary of her sacrifice. Right now, she only has to mention a need and my siblings and I will be falling over ourselves to get it for her, still I wonder if that is enough compensate for her "lost" years and if she will live the same way if given the chance. Hence, my love and respect for SAHMs but will I live the same kind of life? Capital NO however, I strive hard to achieve both goals. And I will also not advise anybody to do same except it comes from their heart. My mom had a supportive man, so it was ok, what if my dad had turned out to be an abuser like we have in so many marriages these days? Not forgetting that an angel today can become a monster tomorrow. Herzumpther, how is pops? |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 8:15pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Kimoni:Fine dear. Good evening ma'am. |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by cococandy(f): 9:53pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
babyosisi: Oh they did. I don't even know who they are but trust me Crackhaus and the rest you mentioned aren't the ones. I was busy and was going to come back and type that it is not them only to see that RR had closed the thread One guy was even sending me threat emails just now about how he and his boys will run me out of nairaland. E be like say them get shares on the assets of nairaland and decide who will agree with who or they will deal with the person. |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by Nobody: 10:00pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
cococandy: Alternate accounts at work, my sister. **Sorry, I was the one that reported the thread. I could foresee a gang-up and I just didn't want that to happen. 2 Likes |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by cococandy(f): 10:04pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Shollypopzz:its fine. I don't mind. The only part of the thread I didn't like was when the innocent ppl were being mentioned. At the least Crackhaus I know won't do that. I'm still going to keep respecting the identity of the olodo that was threatening me until he does something foolish. So that he and others will learn. |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by cococandy(f): 10:36pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
babyosisi:true |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by crackhaus: 1:41am On Mar 25, 2015 |
cococandy:If after all our disagreements and clashes on NL, you still know what I can or cannot do, then I have to say I'm impressed. . . all is not lost. When I saw the mention by Chilli, I took it in good stride and decided to have fun with it because I joke around with her quite often - this was until your friend came in there to type my moniker, make false accusations and still insult my person in the process. . . the nerve, gosh. I am not happy Roy locked that thread, I really needed to give her a piece of me as we've never had a heated exchange before. Thanks for the vote of confidence BTW, I'm surprised by it. 5 Likes |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by TreQuartista: 8:37pm On Mar 27, 2015 |
RE: 'Full House-Wife' Hoopla 9ja's First Lady - Patience Jonathan - sef tagged herself so. . . Much ado about nothing. |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by EfemenaXY: 5:12pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
bukatyne: Sorry this is coming a bit late but I do believe many ladies on here have thrown a lot of light on how being a Stay-at-home mum is not all doom and gloom, neither does it equate to being an open invitation for one's hubby to physically / emotionally abuse the SAHM. And in response to your question, yes, I have had my fair share of being a Stay-at-home-mum. It was one of the best times in my life as it gave me the opportunity to not only spend time with my daughter and bond with her, but it also gave me the opportunity to indulge in a passion I've always secretly nursed but never had the time to indulge in - writing. Yes, being a SAHM gave me that chance to write and publish my debut novel Mysterious Depths: An African Adventure. And if I could do it all over again, I would. I've been at both ends of the spectrum - working part-time, studying for my masters, even while pregnant with my last son....and then many, many, many, years later, having the opportunity to save enough so when I went on maternity leave for over a year, I was able to effectively combine running the home, indulging in my passion, and helping my kids out with school work, etc whilst being a Stay-at-home-mum. Life isn't all about working till you drop. You get to a point where you need to learn how to work "effectively". Work less for more, if you get what I mean. |
Re: Alarming Number Of Nigerian Women Think Spousal Abuse by husband is justifiable by EfemenaXY: 5:20pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
bukatyne: No she is not. Not when she and her husband are on the same frequency and everything they have is shared / joint, including finances. Sometimes, the SAHM has even more financial freedom than the man himself, especially if she's in charge of running the family's accounts. Mind you, this takes a lot of trust from both ends, and I'm sure you know that trust is earned. |
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