1. The foodies
This couple lives on the couch watching
Masterchef; if they are not on the couch
they’re in the kitchen baking up a storm.
Naturally, there is nothing wrong with
food, especially seeing as they always
have an abundance of it and they’re
willing to share. Also, I’m a massive fan
of stuffing my face.
The oh so cruel reality is that this couple
can’t cook and while they rant and rave
about the new “infusion of flavors” that
they’ve just discovered, you’re trying to
politely spit out your mouthful while
secretly feeding their dog your so called
‘food.’
2. The cos-players
The relationship category I happen to fall
in. We are humans by day and magical
creatures by night. We attend comic
conventions and dress up like characters
from books. We are the epitome of geek,
we prance about on our wooden horses
and shiny capes and we LOVE IT! We
bore our friends with endless details
about the makings of our new costumes
and the competitions we’re going to
enter.
Sadly, our non-cosplaying friends must
suffer through all the supposedly mind
numbing details of our endeavors. Our
friends tell us we annoy them, I say we’re
enlightening them.
3. The lovey-dovey
This couple is surrounded by pure bliss,
they use pet names like honey bunny,
baby cakes, and the truly cringe worthy,
snuggluffagus… yes that’s a real one. All
the while they talk using that coochy-coo
baby voice, as if they were babies trying
to sooth each other. They’re constantly
holding hands and making goo-goo eyes
at each other, all at the expense of their
endlessly suffering friends.
They’re constantly proclaiming their love
and at times they do quite literally
declare it from the roof tops, in the dead
of night, to the dismay of their
neighbors…all in a day’s work. They are
the very definition of a teenage love
story, even though they’re usually grown
adults. What I can say is that when
you’re hit by cupid, you quite literally
lose your mind.
4. The PDAs
This couple is the adult version of the
lovey-dovey couple; they are constantly
enthralled in a heavy make out session. I
have this theory that their mouths are
drawn together, despite the resistance of
their owners. When finally their lips do
meet, even though it is against their will,
they just go with the flow and enjoy the
experience. Doesn’t matter that it makes
everyone near them uncomfortable, who
cares they’re in love! But they truly don’t
care!
They need to demonstrate their love for
each other, why they don’t do it in the
privacy of their own homes is beyond me.
Admittedly, if you can get over your
prudishness, close observation of the
couple may actually teach you a new
thing or two, or three or nine. Happy
tutelage!
5. The face-scruncher
This is more of a couple which consists of
one sane individual and one slightly
unhinged individual. As one of them sits
comfortably on the couch minding their
own business at home, the other one
suddenly appears, plops down beside
them and begins playing with their hair.
Which isn’t too extreme but then they
start moving down to your ears and
playing with them, which is also ok.
The problem lies with when they decide
to lose whatever sanity they previously
possessed and start squishing your face
while telling you how cute you are.
1. This is very uncomfortable and disturbs
my couch sitting and
2. I’m sure looking like a human French
pug dog is not attractive. But we stay
with them because on their days off we
are more than happy to return the
favor.
6. The opposites
This couple has absolutely nothing in
common, the fact that they’re together is
akin to seeing a unicorn in the wild. They
don’t share the same hobbies or
interests, if one is short the other is of
gigantic proportions, if one is a geek, the
other is the very definition of suave. Why
these people are together will never
make sense to me.
Admittedly, they do give me hope,
because if they can make it, then all our
relationships have a fighting chance.
There is also the plus side of constantly
knowing the opinion of your partner, if B1
says they hate something, you can count
your lucky starts that B2 loves it. I like to
think you can pretty much gather as
much information about one of them as
you like, by simply talking to the other
one. It’s almost like a twisted game of
espionage.
Why this technique would ever be
realistically useful is beyond me, but
please, if you’ve used it before, let me
know so that I know that I’m not alone.
7. The fetishists
The fetish loving couple loves to try new
things in the bedroom, now there’s
nothing wrong with spicing up the love
life by introducing some new elements.
The problem is when people tell you
what they’re getting up to; truly there
are some “elements” I wish I never
knew about.
This is a true story: I was once listening
to the radio and a segment about
fetishes was on, a woman called in and
told us that her boyfriend loved to hold
her down, pry open her eye lids, and lick
her eye balls. You see he loved the
taste; apparently eye balls taste salty
like tears…who would have known.
Hey, if that’s what you’re into, I respect
that. Just ignore the look that comes
over me when I come face to face with
your extracurricular activities. I am
simply a tame individual.
8. The oldies
The two people that comprise this
relationship are no longer separate
entities. They have been together for so
long that they are now one single
person. They like the same things, they
share identical ideals, and they even
finish each other’s sentences. The
couple, or rather the single person they
have become, is pretty eerie in their
similarity.
When you inform them of their oneness,
they seem to take it as a compliment…
which was not the way it was intended.
Also, they possess a spooky power of
always being together: where you see
one of them, the other must be
somewhere nearby. I’ve always
wondered what would happen if they
stayed away from each other for only an
hour, my guess is that they would just
disintegrate into nothing. Note to self: it
is best not to test out this theory.
9. The merge
This is a consequence of being in an
“oldies” relationship. Once you’ve been
together for decades, you just start to
look like each other, it’s a fact… or not,
but you can’t deny it’s true…doesn’t
matter what science says. So, the
general rule is, if you see a mature
couple and they look like each other
then they have been together for eons.
If you see a young couple and they look
like each other, ignore the natural
inclination to believe that they are
siblings hanging out, and instead,
realize that this couple has simply been
together since before conception. It’s
just logic and you should tell everyone
about it.
10. The fandom
This couple is obsessed with a single
topic, be it a TV series like Game of
Thrones or a game like Dungeons and
Dragons. It doesn’t matter what the
object of their attention is, they are well
and truly infatuated to the point of
insanity.
If we were ever to have the misfortune
of uttering a single word against their
one true love… we should prepare for
death. They would be furious, they
would be so mad that the little vein on
their temple would begin to throb and
their faces would turn bright red. It’s
best to avoid mentioning their fandom in
case you accidently offend them.
The problem is you can’t avoid talking
about their fandom because that’s all
they talk about, they are constantly
reminding you of how you should watch
their show or play their game. You, on
the other hand, are stretching the limits
of your imagination by thinking up new
and creative ways to avoid the
continuous invitations, my favorite
excuse is:
Them: You should come play this game
with us!
Me: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m really busy.
Them: But we didn’t say when…
Me: I’m busy all the time. In fact, I’m
busy right now, see ya.
If you know a couple like this, then I
wish you all the best in fielding their
constant advances and tolerating all the
unnecessary references to said fandom.
11. The sports crazed
The natural habitat of this couple is on
the couch watching the latest game,
doesn’t matter which sport it is, they’re
watching it beer in hand and pretzel to
mouth. When they invite you over, be
prepared for a night of fun, by fun I
mean intense yelling at the TV because
the little man inside the magical box
failed to kick the ball.
I can guarantee that at least once
during the night something will be
hurled at the TV. I hurt for the TV. On
the plus side, you are always provided
with an assortment of snacks, this
makes all the verbal abuse that
substitutes commentary worth it.
12. The snoops
This couple is consumed with the need
to know what the other one is up to at
all times. They go to truly extraordinary
lengths. They check their partner’s texts
and photos when they’re not in the
room, they stalk their Facebook profile,
making note of every like. They live for
Twitter and Instagram posts.
All in all, this isn’t that bad. It becomes
so when they start physically stalking
their partners by suddenly appearing at
their work to give them lunch, when
they really want to make sure that
they’re still at work. When asked why
they do this, they say they want to make
sure that their partner isn’t cheating and
that they really love them. But wait, it
gets worse; sometimes they even recruit
you.
A poor soul once told me that they were
forced by their friend, let’s call her Amy,
to prank call her boyfriend, let’s call him
Luke, and to tell him that Amy was in
the hospital. You see Amy, like the
unhinged person that she is, needed to
know how Luke would react so that she
could know if he truly loved her. Let’s all
promise ourselves that we won’t get to
this level of crazy. If you’ve already
done this, then there is no hope for you,
go forth and continue to be your
uninhibited self.
13. The pranksters
This pair LOVES pranks, they are
constantly playing inventive pranks on
each other. You’re constantly laughing
at their antics and all their creative
strategies. However, the problem lies
with when they believe that it’s an
absolutely great idea to play a prank on
you. The classic is to run up behind you
and violently shake you, which always
produces a scare.
I am constantly worried about where the
next attack is coming from, not only
that; I’m worried about the crying wolf
situation. I imagine that someday
someone will grab me and I won’t be
scared, only to turn around and find a
serial killer. Sure, it’s unlikely, but one
has to be prepared. So for all the
pranksters out there, I love your antics,
in fact I love them so much I’d like to
appreciate them from a far.
Naturally, there are many more types of
couples, so which relationship type
would you add? Let me know which
annoying couple you are, and how you
manage to get on your friends’ nerves.
I’m looking forward to reading the
stories.

Almost none

Hurrah! No. 12 is my niche; women get nothing to hide frm me. I wil even predict ur thoughts.

Too long.

15,the magarized

Mine is none of the above.....




I'm just a nairalander

Houseofglam7:
Mine is none of the above.....




I'm just a nairalander

Can I introduce to of the relationship above. Trust me you will enjoy it.