Nigerian Men: Respect - Romance (2) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Nigerian Men: Respect (4834 Views)
8 Things Guys Do That Make Ladies To Loose Respect For Them / Are Nigerian Babes Losing Out On Nigerian Men? / Why Do Nigerian Men Like Fat Women? (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by fs(f): 8:49pm On Jan 19, 2009 |
Like a previous posted mentioned, find a guy that you're compatible with. It's a waste of time listing out what one man might find disrespectful. They don't all attend a class where they tell them what is acceptable and what isn't. When you're dating and during many many discussions you'll have, I'm sure you'll have a better understanding of what your guy deems respectable or not. If this doesn't jive with your understanding, then move on. My husband happens to cook a lot, he even bakes. Why? He just likes to do it. His mother happened to teach him and he likes it. I, on the other hand, am not really a fan, but I do some. It happens to work for us. Just know who you are before you marry someone. There's no rule book. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by MaiSuya(m): 10:55pm On Jan 19, 2009 |
Wow! To the females on this tread, do you people have husbands or do do you intend to have one? Kai! I pity those men. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Akinagirl(f): 11:10pm On Jan 19, 2009 |
Well said Fs. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by fs(f): 11:17pm On Jan 19, 2009 |
Mai_Suya, what exactly are the women saying here that is so bothersome, you pity their men, if they are infact married? What has anyone really said except that everyone wants/should be respected? I truly do not understand why it's so hard for people to understand that women should be respected too, that women were not created by God to be stepped on, that men can do stuff in the house, that life doesn't revolve around men? I don't get it. My dad wasn't like this, many men I know aren't like this. But everytime I come to this site, they always seem to be here. Where do these people grow up? I just don't get it. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by gamechange(m): 11:49pm On Jan 19, 2009 |
@ poster Respect is a 2 way street, to whom much is given, much is expected. Times have indeed changed, in the past, men toiled hunting while women stayed at home catering for children and all domestic affairs. In our modern era, some women are the breadwinners and it will be foolhardy to expect them to function at 100% in the same manner they did during ancestral times. Besides, humans have developed and are wiser for it. What is important nowadays is undersanding and effective communication between two mature adults. There is absolutely nothing wrong in suggesting that your husband cook or do the laundry, as long as it is not an everyday affair and the woman has a genuine reason for not wanting to do them chores, because traditionally we have ascribed these functions as womens. Just as we have accepted that fixing the car, painting, carpentry etc are traditional roles for men. But most importantly, any such request from a woman to her man must be delivered with the woman massaging her mans ego. As an example: " Honey, I feel awful today, I ache all over, and I have so much to do. Can I ask you for a big favor? This lady called her husband "honey" --- massaging his ego, she stands a better chance of getting help from him. Compare to; Clarus, I want to watch this movie, please help me do the laundry. Ladies, it is ok to sing your husbands praises, even when he is tame, call him a tiger. Tell him he is a king among men, tell him you cant love anyone else the way you love him. Massaging a mans ego is the only way to get the honey out of the jar. A trial will convince you. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by kweenchi(f): 12:23am On Jan 20, 2009 |
Woman: *knees down* Welcome, my lord, my king, my husband, your food is already on the table. (laughing my head off!)  |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by SisiJinx: 1:34am On Jan 20, 2009 |
Mai Suya: *gets down on both knees, eyes cast downwards, hands folded behind* Mai gidan na. . . ya na nan! Maraba! Ya aiki? Ka je lafiya? Maddallah! Yaya jiki? Ya idon ka? Ya kitson ka? Ya farcen ka? Me zaka ci. . . Tuwo ko shinkafa ko tuwo shinkafa da miyan kuka? To, ina zuwa. . . *Gets up and slowly backs out of the room, eyes still cast downwards. Ya like that, don't ya. Of course you do  |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Nobody: 1:40am On Jan 20, 2009 |
@all, I need to know, It all depends on the man you marry. fs basically said it all . . . i like to cook so i probably wont find 1 offensive, i'd be doing it if i were sitting at home all day doing nothing anyway. If your man cant cook to save his life and never had to do so before marrying you . . . you shld think twice before asking him to cook for you because u're stuck in traffic. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by RasPwn(m): 1:47am On Jan 20, 2009 |
When females on this forum generalize, it's all good, but when guys do the same, we're misogynistic bastards. So non Nigerians who read this messageboard start avoiding Nigerian men because they think we're all animals who scream on our wives, but who cares? The only time anyone cares is when a guy makes a thread talking about his girl's stank ass, that's when the guns come out. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by SisiJinx: 2:21am On Jan 20, 2009 |
Tee hee hee  1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Outstrip(f): 6:54am On Jan 20, 2009 |
I want to laugh then I think of the fact that there is some woman out there doing it and I shake my head instead. My friend was telling me about this woman that her husband assaulted her physically and she says they have been married more than 7 years and only recently did he let her start driving. He did not let her have access to any accounts and gave her like $150.00 a month. She could not even use the computer without asking for permission even for the children to do their homework. The funniest part is that she is one of those women that runs around calling her husband "Daddy" as a form of "respect". The worst part is these are educated people right here in the states. I guess she got tired of pretty much being nothing more than a sperm collector and decided to protest and the man showed her that he is not a demon for nothing. At first I was feeling sorry for her then I thought she simply made her bed and now she has to lie on it. When you let them act like idiots they will do just that and can you really then blame him when after years of marraige you want to change the plan. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by shawn123: 8:20am On Jan 20, 2009 |
i think men would not demand soo much respect if you women decide to pay your own bills rather than ask men to do for you. For me i give respect solely on what you are able to do for your self.  1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by cvibe: 9:52am On Jan 20, 2009 |
Good communication is the Key and respect will flow naturally. Honey i will be late from work. if you are hungry, warm the food in the fridge, give some to Susan, make sure you clean the cooker when you finish. (Disrespect) Try this! Honey, i will be late from work. If you're a bit hungry, i made something for you before i left home this morning. I think you and Susan will find it delicious. If the cooker gets dirty, dont worry i'll clean it when i get home. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by jintujinta(m): 10:18am On Jan 20, 2009 |
Well, i guess the right point to start this discussion should be defining what respect is and what it isnt. What people see as respect in a nation or culture or location or region may not be seen as respect in another. 1) Would he find it disrespectful if I asked him to start cooking because I am stuck in traffic or even, help me out in the kitchen when I am cooking? 2) Would he find it disrespectful if I asked him to do the laundry? 3) Would he find it disrespectful if I told him I really don't want to have sex but I'll rather cuddle and talk? 4) Would he find it disrespectful if I told him that I feel his mom has been visiting too frequently? All these, may or may not result in disrespect depending on how they are presented, just like someone already pointed out. Respect for other person's feelings, opinion, freedom, etc are the issues that really matter in a relationship. When adequately taken care of, you will soon discover that you will be respected when you too respect people because respect is reciprocal. So what do you term as "respect"? |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by JJYOU: 10:25am On Jan 20, 2009 |
life is very simple dont complicate it for yourself |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by spikedcylinder: 10:26am On Jan 20, 2009 |
Na wa o. Where do you people meet all these useless men?  1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by FBS: 10:37am On Jan 20, 2009 |
people fail to notice that things are changing rapidly. Both Nigerian men and women are changing. But then, respect is very important in any relationship. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by iice(f): 10:46am On Jan 20, 2009 |
cvibe: Which essentially means. . .'woman, it's your job to feed, clean and take care of me and my every comfort' You can deliver same sentence in a different tones and if not change the meaning, then change the reaction. But if you deliver two different sentences, regardless of the tone, the meaning is different. @Topic, yes respect is supposed to be automatically given to the man. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by cvibe: 11:31am On Jan 20, 2009 |
@iice You want the person to use their initiative in the 2nd sentence. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by angelina08(f): 11:55am On Jan 20, 2009 |
Thank you so much my dear. It difficult to respect someone you do not love. Love no be Bleep Now if the love is both ways, the respect will flow naturally but if you as a woman gets hitched with a man you love who does not love you, he may get away with disrespecting you like in that dialogue(though exaggerated) |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by whitelexi(m): 12:02pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
Guys are different, i would like everyone to speak for themselves. I will find it not only disrespectful but offensive if a woman asks me to get into the kitchen and cook, or do her laundry, or other stuff she ought to be doing. My mum didnt ask my dad to do any of those and she is very well educated, my sisters cant do that either. There are instances where she cannot handle that like when she's heavily pregnant, but aside that, no level of luv can bring me to that level where i will live like someone from the west. . . Why else do u think i'm travelling home to get married when girls are everywhere in the UK |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by JustGood(m): 1:23pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
@fs, I have a feeling that you're married or in a very good relationship. Many people have attitudes and beliefs based on what they have experienced in life so they come here and spill their gullets about things they dont really know. There's no textbook about respect and what works for one person does not work for another. I cook at home when I feel like it or when I know that I should. It's not my duty, neither is it my wife's duty but she believes that she should do it and I love her even more for that attitude. If she doesn't cook, I wont starve. At worst, I'll get in the kitchen and cook for myself or go and eat out. There is no measure for respect - it's an individual thing and it is relative to circumstances and the couples involved. I could start talking about the things I see with some of my white friends who are either married or in relationships but it would not be nice. They can hide theirs better and because they are less populous than we are, theirs dont seem to be as pronounced. The fact that most responsibly married women are unlikely to have too much time for the internet says a lot about the kind of views always expressed online. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by JustGood(m): 1:26pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
spikedcylinder: abeg ask them o. Birds of the same feathers. . . they meet the kind of men they deserve because of the kind of women they are |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by spikedcylinder: 1:32pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
whitelexi: Going into the kitchen to cook the food both of you would eat is regarded as "going down to that level" in your books? Are you serious Lexi? You cook excellently as a single guy, why would it become a chore to cook for you and your wife? |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by ohaechesi(m): 1:34pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
listen, to hell with you all good for nothing (acclaimed degree holders) Chic's. the way you ladies laments are quit disgusting. ok if you should share of the same right with your hubby (demanding respect from him first), why don't you go out there and get your self a husband rather than waiting for donkey years for one good man to approach you and turn your life around. make you a woman and crown you with dignity. for Christ sake who the hell are you (women) to question the authority of your man? Let me quickly remind you that what men needs from you is just the kids. whereby you think you've grown wings, to your tent oh Israel. why wont you "divide before he comes out from the bathroom" whereby if he should embark on a trip, you will serve it as kola even to your house boy  . una never hala until una eat gala |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by ohaechesi(m): 1:47pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
@fs, I want to say a big thanks to you. i absolutely concur with you. there is no man that will disrespect her wife without a tangable reason. we all have conscience and share the same feelings with both sex. for one to come here and start nagging about her degree and calling others name, you will leave to tell your marital story when the time comes. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by ohaechesi(m): 1:57pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
my advice goes to the good ladies here, do not be discouraged by what some hoodlums, naggings fools posted. believe you me, if you should follow them to their various homes (if any), you will realize that they vegetate day by day in adoring their hubby even their boy friend for that matter. they are only here to dislead the good ones. ladies, keep your heads straight, period |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by agaba123(m): 2:03pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
Yeparipa. I will treat my woman as my equal but I will not want it to be taken for granted. If she takes it for granted and begins to order me around, I will withdraw. If she fails to see that women do some jobs better, then we will take turns in doing everything including changing the tyre. The truth is that women needs to be treated with tender care. It evil to belabour a woman just because she is a woman. Help out when it is needed if you can cook for instance or do it for her to show her love. Every right-minded babe will find it endearing her man says, 'I will fix your dinner tonight. come and watch me do what i know how to do best . . . . ' so girls grow up; some guys need some growing up too. |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by bluespice(f): 2:04pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
sisi lol i bet thats what most of them want nonsense and ingredients |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by bluespice(f): 2:04pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
agaba i sent u a mail!  |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Nobody: 2:14pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
I dont think Nigerian guys are that bad actually. Some are but not all, yesterday a former colleague I went to see was so happy to open the door for me to see me out. I was actually floored. Respect begets respect. A guy that wont treat me with respect wont get mine. I may pretend when Im with family but afterwards its just the 2 of us. Im too educated to take shit from a man. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by agaba123(m): 2:17pm On Jan 20, 2009 |
Blue baby Let me check it. I am sorry darling |
A Girl Sent Me 'i Love You' Message After I Made Love To Her: How Do I Respond / Hilarious Photo Of Girl Pranking Her Boyfriend Using Her Bald Hair / Don't Know What Nigerian Girls Have Turned Into
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 58 |