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Chelsea Fc Jokes - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Chelsea Fc Jokes by switch47(m): 2:48pm On Jan 24, 2009
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break:

1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded."

4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and Bottom's are interchangeable."
grin
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by switch47(m): 2:50pm On Jan 24, 2009
Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan."
So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?"
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by switch47(m): 2:50pm On Jan 24, 2009
Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.
Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.
Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by switch47(m): 2:51pm On Jan 24, 2009
A man goes into Heathrow Airport and eventually goes into the departure lounge waiting for his flight home to be called. All around him there are overturned tables, upturned chairs, smashed windows, flight monitors broken and crowd control barriers lying on the floor.
"Christ, what's happened here?" he asks one of the ground crew.
"Oh yeah", he replies "Bloody hopeless , we had the Chelsea players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad".

A Chelsea supporter goes to his doctor to find out what's wrong with him.
"Your problem is you're fat, "says the doctor.
"I'd like a second opinion" responds the man.
"OK, you're ugly too" replies the doctor.
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by switch47(m): 2:53pm On Jan 24, 2009
Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated?
A: 50,000 more Chelsea fans

Q: How do you define 144 Chelsea fans
A: Gross Stupidity


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Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?
A: To prove that crap can float.


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Q: What is the difference between Drogba and a mini?
A: A mini can only carry three passengers.


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Q. Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?
A. So they know which end to wipe!


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I've heard that Stamford Bridge has arguably the best pitch in the Premiership. Well, not entirely surprising considering all the poo that has been on there.


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Q: What's the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan!
grin

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Q: What do Chelsea keepers and singer Michael Jackson both have in common?
A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason. grin
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by switch47(m): 2:53pm On Jan 24, 2009
Q. Two Chelsea fans Paul and Danny jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?.
A. Who gives a Fucck! grin


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Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do. grin
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by romsky: 2:56pm On Jan 24, 2009
i no fit laff o  smiley  wink cheesy  grin
y u come join my M.J nah  embarassed
I hope u r a gunner?  kiss
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by switch47(m): 3:02pm On Jan 24, 2009
romade:

i no fit laff o smiley wink cheesy grin
y u come join my M.J nah embarassed
I hope u r a gunner? kiss
talking of Good soccer---arsenal is number one------other far better teams than chelsea are BURNLEY/ man united/liverpool ---------




Qoutable quotes from chelsea


On losing to Charlton in the carling cup 2005

I want to give my congratulations to them because they won. But we were the best team. We didn't lose the game. Ninety minutes was a draw and it was a draw after two hours. We lost on penalties.


how dumb!! grin
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by sylve11: 3:19pm On Jan 24, 2009
switch47:

Q. Two Chelsea fans Paul and Danny jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?.
A. Who gives a Fucck! grin


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Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?
A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do. grin


LAUGH OUT LOUD grin. MR. SWITCH U JUST TOO MUCH! grin

BUT THAT BELIEVE OF URS ''THAT ARSENAL IS THE BEST TEAM'', MAN CHANGE THAT C*RA*P angry
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by switch47(m): 3:41pm On Jan 24, 2009
sylve11:

LAUGH OUT LOUD grin. MR. SWITCH U JUST TOO MUCH! grin

BUT THAT BELIEVE OF URS ''THAT ARSENAL IS THE BEST TEAM'', MAN CHANGE THAT C*RA*P angry
OKAY------i was talking about teams that entertain me when they play----ok?
anyway-------whatever thecase chelsea stinks----- ROMAN ISplanning to sell them-----pretty soon---he says if he cant get someone to buy the team whole---he will sell it bits by bits----like crayfish------ grin
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by studio43(m): 7:41pm On Jan 24, 2009
Chelsea still remain the best in the world as far as im concerned, I'M A CHELSEA FAN TO THE CORE , though we are goin through some difficulties at the moment losing forms , injury and all that, BUT MEHN, the league is not yet over . we are still very much in the competition. anything can happen

so,

WATCH OUT! wink
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by sylve11: 8:27pm On Jan 24, 2009
Mr studio, there is nothing to watch out for, the league is almost gone and Chelsea will remain in their 3rd posi. Arsenal and Manu fan say Amen 2 dat cool
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by chidipupay(m): 10:26pm On Jan 24, 2009
@switch47
You wey just start dey watch ball yesterday come here dey talk. Abeg carry your yeye mouth go inside,
Well when a team is good, him enemy go plenty

1 Like

Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by mykali(m): 5:55pm On Jan 25, 2009
this virus SWITCH47 has spread all the way to the jokes section. shocked shocked shocked

seun, i beg u. pls, delete this virus from nairaland. angry
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by switch47(m): 11:53am On Jan 26, 2009
mykali:

this virus SWITCH47 has spread all the way to the jokes section. shocked shocked shocked

seun, i beg u. pls, delete this virus from nairaland. angry


Every time Big Roger attends a Chelsea game he books 2 seats.
One to sit in, the other to throw when the fightin starts.



Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:
"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan."
So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?"



Q. Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?.
A. Who gives a F**K!
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by sylve11: 12:14pm On Jan 26, 2009
;d ;d
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by romsky: 1:24pm On Jan 26, 2009
switch47:


Every time Big Roger attends a Chelsea game he books 2 seats.
One to sit in, the other to throw when the fightin starts.


dat sims lyk wat broda studio & Mykali can do
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by Nautillus(m): 1:31pm On Jan 26, 2009
If you DONT care so much . . .how come you KNOW so much about this team? ? ?

Dude. .in your heart of hearts. . .you are a FAN of Chelsea.
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by sylve11: 2:33pm On Jan 26, 2009
cool
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by spenchuks(m): 2:36pm On Jan 26, 2009
chidipupay:

@switch47
You wey just start dey watch ball yesterday come here dey talk. Abeg carry your yeye mouth go inside,
Well when a team is good, him enemy go plenty

u just said my mind.

Chelsea: beat one, and the rest will cry mehn i like it. grin

Blues for life!! grin
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by romsky: 3:05pm On Jan 26, 2009
Gunners 4 lyf
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by dani1luv: 3:13pm On Jan 26, 2009
GuNnErS 4 lYf
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by spenchuks(m): 3:33pm On Jan 26, 2009
dani1luv:

GuNnErS 4 lYf

romade:

Gunners 4 lyf

heartbreaks for lyf tongue
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by sylve11: 3:49pm On Jan 26, 2009
wetin be gunners and this blues noise when i dey hear self? make una shout bite una tongue, manu na still the best club in the world.
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by spenchuks(m): 3:53pm On Jan 26, 2009
i fit agree with u on man u sylve, but not when it comes to arsenal cool
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by romsky: 3:57pm On Jan 26, 2009
beefers Gunners rock Chelsea sucks & Man U is just there
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by spenchuks(m): 3:59pm On Jan 26, 2009
ur opinion cool
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by clemcykul(f): 4:32pm On Jan 26, 2009
up MAN U!!
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by spenchuks(m): 4:34pm On Jan 26, 2009
partially correct cool
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by sylve11: 4:42pm On Jan 26, 2009
spenchuks:

partially correct cool

All rounder correct.

clemcykul:

up MAN U!!

Correct twinny,
how far them don finnally release u from the turkey yanch when dem lock u put?
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by romsky: 4:47pm On Jan 26, 2009
nah clumsy jumped over one thousand one hundred & onety - one fences just to root 4 d Red Devils
Re: Chelsea Fc Jokes by spenchuks(m): 4:53pm On Jan 26, 2009
grin

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