parismarc:


And it's people like them that become so pitiful, well, he is reaping the mess he created.

His cup of tea.....mtcheeew.

This one is a real sad story though
He finally had to go into a care home because friends couldn't render the help he needed,diapers etc
I still picture him healthy and walking around a few years ago
Illness is not what I will wish on anyone wallahi

Can't blame her, she had no ounce of enjoyment when he was fine so she can't expect to enjoy with a disabled man

babyosisi:
This is similar to another thread by someone else but not quite
There was a woman whose husband treated very poorly.
She married him right after high school,one of those arrangee type marriages.She was quite younger and very pretty.It actually looked like he didn't deserve her,physically speaking.
He was physically abusive to her and very controlling,the whole household lived in fear of him and she hid it for years but eventually spoke up He wouldn't let her further her education and always suspected she was cheating on him,meanwhile he cheated on her,he was actually a chronic womanizer.Her own parents,devout Christians advised her to stay and work it out so she stayed for years and it never got better.

After several interventions from well wishers to correct the situation ,the man would promise to make amends but quickly fall back to his old ways and the beatings and emotional abuse continued.The wife and children lived in fear of him.
Sadly he fell sick,very sick with several strokes and could no longer work and needed care
It was at this point that she picked up and left the marriage
As soon as she left,she got into school, got her degree,got a good house,fell in love and remarried all within a short time and her children say they are much happier now than with their father.
A lot of people condemn her for leaving him,based on the background I gave,do you condemn her action?
Would you do the same?
Should she have forgiven and stayed on to take care of him for better and for worse in her thirties ?

I don't condemn her.
Nemesis caught up with him

Ariyke:
Can't blame her, she had no ounce of enjoyment when he was fine so she can't expect to enjoy with a disabled man

That is exactly why I don't blame her
How I can I stay back and turn and feed and nurse a man that womanized and beat me and my kids up and didn't support me in my goals?
E go hard o
From early 30s with no recovery date in sight

babyosisi:


This is not a rare story
There are women who go for omugwo and don't want to go back home to their husband's
People say women with mean spouses occupy themselves with children and work to ease the pain of a bad marriage and when the kids are grown and gone,she feels it the most because all the meanness the man gave her and the kids now belongs to her alone
Omugwo becomes her saving grace for a season

If he dies,they will mourn him of course but also heave a sigh of relief That peace has come at last

You captured it very well, Da Beatrice left for omugwo in 2002 and since then she visits Nigeria every 2 years. All her children are now resident in the U.S except for a daughter living in Owerri. She single-handedly catered for 9 children while uncle was gallivanting with his Owerri woman!

Pavore9:


You captured it very well, Da Beatrice left for omugwo in 2002 and since then she visits Nigeria every 2 years. All her children are now resident in the U.S except for a daughter living in Owerri.

My namesake sef

Hahahahaha
There are many
They will be praying for the daughter to deliver yearly so the omugwo will be prolonged
After that,they become the nanny and go to visit the husband every once in a while
Once he starts his rikichi,she flies back to Obodo Oyibo

I don't blame her jare
At least she has an outlet

babyosisi:



My namesake sef

Hahahahaha
There are many
They will be praying for the daughter to deliver yearly so the omugwo will be prolonged
After that,they become the nanny

I don't blame her jare

She went for the first one and stayed there, now she rotates among her children as at least one is giving birth every year! Da Beatrice really suffered, let her enjoy the fruit of her labour!

I heard about a man who was so mean to his wife because she didn't have a baby,kept threatening her with getting a new wife
She went to Ghana back then and took the nurse's exam and came to the USA
The husband wanted her back home,she refused to return ,he married a new wife
Many years after,he is retired,pension not forthcoming,The wife here sends money to him to take care of himself
She built a house for herself in the town,visits home from time to time and goes to see him and his new wife and kids in their old house and never sleeps there sha
The new wife is much younger and calls her aunty
She even scolds her for not keeping their house clean
And gives her money to cook for him
Na so life suppose dey sometimes

Pavore9:
l just remembered my late uncle, though it may seem mean but his wife. children and relatives have peace of mind now he has passed on! He was a serial prodigal husband and father! Even when his wife and children who he abandoned for many years after he received his Railway gratuity to live with another woman, forgave him and had him visit them in Houston, TX, the US he did not know how they got there but Uncle continued his prodigal lifestyle which made his children send him back to Nigeria and he blamed his wife for instigating his children against him. That man was a character!

what a man

He's polygamous in nature sha. They for try understand
#justkidding

Mcdokwe,I just saw you
How are you my brother?

babyosisi:
@ mintayo,it could also be that she feared he may hurt her if she left and his illness cancelled that fear
You know how some possessive spouses go totally postal when the abused spouse leaves
In this case,she may have thought 'Which hand and legs will he use to find her when he is paralyzed'
Isn't that a valid reason to leave when she did?
The abuser is now helpless so she saw it as an opportunity to gather herself and kids and run

I understand you, but so many people will see otherwise, especially the husband's family members may tag her as the architect of his ailments.
I am not blaming the woman though, if she were to be my sister, I would v asked her to leave, even if it's for a while, before his illness starts!

cococandy:
what a man

He's polygamous in nature sha. They for try understand
#justkidding

Understand wetin? He had a wife and 9 children to cater for!

babyosisi:
I heard about a man who was so mean to his wife because she didn't have a baby,kept threatening her with getting a new wife
She went to Ghana back then and took the nurse's exam and came to the USA
The husband wanted her back home,she refused to return ,he married a new wife
Many years after,he is retired,pension not forthcoming,The wife here sends money to him to take care of himself
She built a house for herself in the town,visits home from time to time and goes to see him and his new wife and kids in their old house and never sleeps there sha
The new wife is much younger and calls her aunty
She even scolds her for not keeping their house clean
And gives her money to cook for him
Na so life suppose dey sometimes

At least she has her dignity and her peace of mind.

Pavore9:

Understand wetin? He had a wife and 9 children to cater for!

what do you want me to say Na?

I'm playing good understanding african woman.

babyosisi:
I heard about a man who was so mean to his wife because she didn't have a baby,kept threatening her with getting a new wife
She went to Ghana back then and took the nurse's exam and came to the USA
The husband wanted her back home,she refused to return ,he married a new wife
Many years after,he is retired,pension not forthcoming,The wife here sends money to him to take care of himself
She built a house for herself in the town,visits home from time to time and goes to see him and his new wife and kids in their old house and never sleeps there sha
The new wife is much younger and calls her aunty
She even scolds her for not keeping their house clean
And gives her money to cook for him
Na so life suppose dey sometimes

My ribs

So he got his new younger wife and then what?

story story,,,,,.....

cococandy:


My ribs

So he got his new younger wife and then what?

Wife get levels now
When the previously maltreated wife is buying similac for you why won't you call her aunty and start sweeping when you hear she is coming by

cococandy:
what do you want me to say Na?

I'm playing good understanding african woman.

Afriwetin? l remember back in the 90's when the wife attended a gathering of widows who were to be given some foodstuff. Uncle accused her of wishing him dead by her registering as a widow! The men in the family took it up against her but she asked if any of them had bothered to ask after her and the children to know how they were coping? na im everybody quiet!

Mintayo:
Why didn't she leave before the illness?
Will it be wrong if people see her as the cause of his illness?

Bros you no go like drop dat african mentality?.y will she be seen as the cause wen he has a report of ill health from d doctor.everything does'nt have to b juju u knw,dis one is a clear case of karma. SHE'Z A B•TCH

you have a point though,cus in africa,dat s wat pple might think.but where wer those "PEOPLE" wen he turned her to hiz punching bag nd was treating her like sh•t. Abeg dey should park well jor

Pavore9:
Afriwetin? l remember back in the 90's when the wife attended a gathering of widows who were to be given some foodstuff. Uncle accused her of wishing him dead by her registering as a widow! The men in the family took it up against her but she asked if any of them had bothered to ask after her and the children to know how they were coping? na im everybody quiet!

babyosisi:

Wife get levels now
When the previously maltreated wife is buying similac for you why won't you call her aunty and start sweeping when you hear she is coming by

This thread is hilarious

Pavore9:
Afriwetin? l remember back in the 90's when the wife attended a gathering of widows who were to be given some foodstuff. Uncle accused her of wishing him dead by her registering as a widow! The men in the family took it up against her but she asked if any of them had bothered to ask after her and the children to know how they were coping? na im everybody quiet!

Chai
But really why should people blame her,I see her point
She needed food to feed her kids,she wasn't wishing him death
If na me I go register too

babyosisi:


Chai
But really why should people blame her,I see her point
She needed food to feed her kids,she wasn't wishing him death
If na me I go register too

The Nwunye edi group came with their own fine and she asked them to list out the responsibilities of a husband, this they did and which of the listed responsibilities is her husband taking care of?

babyosisi:
Mcdokwe,I just saw you
How are you my brother?

lol. Babyosisi my love. I dey o

Pavore9:


The Nwunye edi group came with their own fine and she asked them to list out the responsibilities of a husband, this they did and which of the listed responsibilities is her husband taking care of?

One can only take so much I guess
Maybe they should modify the definition of widow to mean a woman whose husband is dead or as good as dead
You will see that there are more widows

babyosisi:



One can only take so much I guess
Maybe they should modify the definition of widow

A woman whose husband is dead or as good as dead

l still can not grasp why a husband/father would think he has the liberty to turn his back on his family and still expect that same family to be his care-giver at the later stage of his life. Life has a way of settling everyone.

Pavore9:


l still can not grasp why a husband/father would think he has the liberty to turn his back on his family and still expect that same family to be his care-giver at the later stage of his life. Life has a way of taking care of everyone.

There was a thread here many years ago about a husband that abandoned his wife and kids and moved on with a new family
I don't remember the details but I remember nairalanders being angry that the woman was alienating the kids from the man many years after when he wanted to come back in their lives
I sided with her o
I said if na me,he will have nothing to do with them again I will change their surname sef and he will never see them again
A man that abandoned me and kids should be gone forever, after I have mourned his loss,that door is closed and he closed it
You don't leave me to bring up kids all by myself,move on to another family and the kids I bore in my womb will bear your last name
Never!
They will bear my family name,the family that brought them up
You don't deserve to have them answer your name,that is an injustice

lt is now 2.11 a.m here in Nairobi, make l go sleep. Wishing you all a restful night, Lala salama (sleep well in Swahili)

Pavore9:
lt is now 2.11 a.m here in Nairobi, make l go sleep. Wishing you all a restful night, Lala salama (sleep well in Swahili)

Where won't these Igbo boys go to
Please keep safe o
Let al shabab die die die by fire!!