Broke guys, this is for us. Hilariously Enjoy.

So she has accepted to go out with you at last. You have fixed the day and time for your first date. You are anxious because you want to impress her. You want to leave a good impression because you know that first impression matters. You want to make her your bae, don’t you?

My brothers bring out your calculators, biros and sheets of paper, let’s do some calculations.
How much are you prepared to spend on the first date? What are the things that you would buy? Write them down.

You would probably end up with a list like this…..

Two plates of fried rice salad with chicken – N1400
Drinks of her favourite brand – N1500
Barbecued fish – N1000
Meatpie, fish pie, burger, Shawarma etc – N2000
Ice cream – N800
Take away food pack for her friends – N1200
Movie cinema ticket/popcorn – N3000
Expenses on a short visit to the shopping mall – N5000

Add up the figures and let’s see the total amount you have arrived at. Is that amount moderate or too high? Well, let me ask you a question…

Bro are you inviting her to come and gorge herself to death with food or do you want to get to know her better?

Now take up that sheet of paper and squeeze it. Tear it into tiny bits and throw them into the waste basket.

Sit down and let’s reason together.

What is your definition of a date?

The conventional meaning of a date appointment is a period of time when the man takes the woman out to a fancy restaurant, buys her food and watches her gobble it up. The man says nice things to her in a bid to impress her. At the end of the date he pays the bills hoping to get a peck from her as compensation for his trouble. They leave the restaurant together and part ways, promising to meet some other time at some other venue.

*Yawns*

Aren’t restaurant dates too cliché and boring?

If you ask Dr Leroi he would tell you that a date should be a period of time where the two parties share fun activities. Yes it should only be two parties!

Guys what should you do to a girl who turns up to a dinner date with all of her 12 girlfriends in tow? I think the best option is to run! Who wants to wash plates in a fast-food’s kitchen?*shrugs shoulders*

Drop your ego. Drop the “I need to impress her with my money” attitude.
It does not matter whether you are a millionaire, thousandaire or hundrednaire, you can have a nice date experience spending only 200 naira. Most guys don’t know that a lady will prefer doing fun stuffs when hanging out with you rather than sitting down to lick an ice cream cone at an upscale fast food joint.

The D-day is here. You have to make adequate preparation.

Buy two bottles of chilled Zobo drink and a medium sized packet of cream crackers biscuit. That should cost you roughly N200 or N300. Toss them inside a backpack and hang it on your back. This will serve as your date food.
The cool zobo drink helps to relieve high blood pressure and has low sugar content. The cream crackers biscuit is low in calories and is also a rich source of B complex vitamins. I am telling you bro, you will score major points on her score sheet when you turn with these snacks. It will send a strong signal that you are a caring guy who is concerned about her healthy dieting. However if she slaps you when you present these snacks to her, please don’t take it personal. Just know that she is feigning anger to cover up her over-excitement. Okay?
Arrange for a takeoff point for the date. It could be her place or a public place in the city.
Go and look for a bicycle. You can hire one for the occasion then show up at the takeoff point with the bicycle.

Hey don’t give me that weird look, yes I meant a bicycle, the one with a passenger seat. Don’t go with your car! The bicycle must be in good condition oh. It should not be the creaky ones with long disjointed spokes that can pierce her soft skin.
She will be definitely surprised to see you with a bicycle. Tell her that you are trying something new for a change. Ask her to hop onto the bike for a ride with you.

The lady will find the offer ridiculous but at the same time she will be curious and excited because you are leading her to an adventure. She will sit on the bicycle’s seat after a while. Err…my brother before she hops in, make sure that she is not the overweight type that will deflate the bicycle’s tires. If someone’s daughter falls down and dislocates her waist, you are on your own! Your date will be turned to hate. So use the bicycle procedure only for a slim babe.

Now if you no get any,take a really long walk in one direction, passing through streets, neighbourhoods, checking out things along the way.
As you both stroll or ride on, you have to be funny to get her attention. Crack a couple of jokes that will keep her laughing or else she would suddenly ask herself “what the heck am I doing on this bicycle or with this dude?” If you allow such thoughts to gain entry into her head, that will be the beginning of the end of your “date”. Please remember to keep your jokes nice and civil. Let your jokes not be the dry as harmattan Akpos jokes. Okay?
While she is still laughing her heart out to your wisecracks, quietly ask her to help you choose a good shirt in a nearby boutique. She will jump at the offer.
This is because you are putting yourself up as the little boy who wants mama to help him choose a good shirt since he can’t decide for himself. Women love this power. She wouldn’t know that you are using reverse psychology on her...*winks*

Are we still on the same page? Alright.

Ride away with her this time to a public park. Choose a section of the park that has some privacy and open your backpack bringing out your “picnic box”.
You both will discover that the Zobo drink and cream crackers biscuit will taste extra great because you two are having a simple fun-time. Life is simple but we insist on making it complicated….isn’t that a quote from the great philosopher Confucius?
Use that opportunity to take as many selfies as possible with each other. If she is really having a good time, she would make the following faces for the pictures: duck face, tongue hanging from mouth face, pouting face, frog face, doll face and a variety of facial expressions known only to the female species as you snap away.....lol!

In the course of your chit chat let her know that you are a novice at cooking and that you can only boil water for eba. Ask her to help you out with some cooking recipes and tips. My brother i am telling you she will take it upon herself to educate you. She will see you as the poor boy who can’t cook to save his life and needs urgent help from mama. She will even want to cook a sample dish for you. This may end up with her visiting your place to show you how to slice the vegetable leaves and when to pour in the pepper and crayfish in the soup pot.

But if she declines to visit you, don’t stress it. Overtime she will naturally fix a convenient date on her own accord.
Guys there you have it. Both of you are enjoying the date. You have been able to pull it off without breaking into a bank. You have broken the dating stereotype.

Bbm: 7FF1D424
Facebook : Bolaji A Law

Mama put tinz..

The headiie got me in stitches ... Tho I didn't read, I scanned through but I can tell its a nice write up...

Hahahahahaha

recycled thread
www.nairaland.com/1914352/how-take-out-perfect-date

Should be in jokes section

Damn it, I've been laughing at this since last week

“what the heck am I doing on this bicycle or with this dude?”

POVERTY IS A DISEASE

Some niggarz ain't sleeping over date bills

Lol broke niccurs dia riz God o op

Dinner + Movie + Drinks, men they all start to add up.

OP, I'm gonna try this on my next date, just that I don't know a suitable forest in Lagos for us to picnic in.

Broke asss MFs,they have nothing to offer..and they would be the first to diss girls.

Tabh:
Broke asss MFs,they have nothing to offer..and they would be the first to diss girls.

N what are you offering

Omoh this Op is an economist,I hail your ministry

all this long essay bcuz of been broke?seviosly guy u need to surmarise dış shi.t men
aint broke but am not spending a dime for a hoe dat think coming to me can solve her hungry status
men i beleave love iş give and take bro and i will not give u eny dime if u think u can open ür legs and demand

BROKE A55 N!GGA

I hail thee op nice write up

Op u too much.... Although i wont try it out... Let's leave it to the broke niggas

ss

I stopped reading when I got to the bicycle part.

I just don't support Zobo,not everyone know the nutritional factors of zobo...I will still choose kunu and kuli Alata

Try our most reliable, efficient and affordable bulk SMS company @ N1.20kobo(END USERS) and 0.90kobo (RESELLERS). We remain the best deal for resellers because our package comes with a free video guide that teaches you how to create bulk sms websites yourself for your prospective resellers, free database GSM phone numbers, your website would be built with high earners portal creator4, free downloadable app for your users.

Why do we give out all this?

We give you all these supportive tools because Sms Justinthyme defines success as the success of our clients. When you are successful, we already are successful.
visit www.smsjustinthyme.com or call 08132884087,08076411111, 08076311111, or 08076211111.
Thank you.