Op,some girl can be pregnant for u nd abort it without letting u knw to avoid u not marrying dem,u r lucky she tld u abt her past,dats d reason y u hv to marry her cos she loves u so much. Dnt brag u 've not impregnaneted any gal before cos it's not a gud sign,both of u needs fertility test

ammyluv2002:
Shey, because she told him? Do you know how many babes that have done worse yet they act like saints? See, what matters is the repentance and thatz what God is looking at too. Besides, do you know many times you have sin against God yet He's not mad at you. We ask God to forgive us our sins yet we are so harden to forgive those that have wronged us.

Based on some people's ethical, moral and religious convictions - abortions are seen as murder.
Yes, we have all sinned but not all has committed murder !

ammyluv2002:
Guys sha *smh*

Tell them the truth before marriage ......problem
Hide the truth till after marriage ......problem


Most Guys are so difficult to please ie guys like the poster

Dude, pls stop looking for excuses and settle down with somebody. Most ladies pretend and lie a lot and you're lucky to have met a lady who isn't a liar

God is the giver of children! I'm not saying kudos to the lady but you shouldn't judge her from her past/mistakes. We are all human so why not just forgive her and tell her to ask God for Mercy and move on with your wedding plans

Tell them. I wonder who impregnat these ladies. You will do what ever you want to do, disvirgin many girl, cause many to commit abortion, then, at last you want to settle down with a saint. SORRY

frodobee:
I am not answering your question, it is ur choice. I am bordered by the number of abortions carried out in this times, it is no longer a question of virgins, it is now the issue of "who has not aborted before?"

You're so on point, it might soon even become 'how many abortions has she had before'

YUNGLURD:
easy madam

u jst displayed ur foolishnes.... If u insist no sex without condom, will d guy kill u.... Abortion adict like u

because I type from fone I didn't have the patience to explain this. Thanks

Diamonddamsel:
In my opinion the OP claims no woman has ever had an abortion for him but never said he had not had unprotected sex with anyone in his lifetime.Then he is just lucky because any of those ladies could have gotten pregnant.What if you meet a lady who has never committed abortion but has used a lot of contraceptives which could in the future affect her fertility cos many fall in that category.If an abortion is done safely not with quacks it doesn't affect her chances of having children in the future.Im very much against abortion but I admire the lady's truthfulness.I've personally witnessed a lady who married as a Virgin wait for 7yrs while another who had done an abortion currently has 3kids.

nwachivis:
Please nairalanders help me out.I am not an expert when it comes to writing,but i will still manage to drive home my point to the best of my capacity.

I proposed marriage just of recent to my spouse and went ahead with the family introduction.I have ever since been making preparations for the wedding.

I had told her in our previous interactions that i cancelled the marriage preparations with my ex when she told me she had once aborted a baby for her ex,which made her bleed for days.she told me back then that she was scared her womb was damaged because the pregnancy was 3 months old when she carried out the abortion.she pleaded with me to still marry her,reminding me of God's ability to perform miracles,even though she admitted that it was a difficult thing for any african man to do.I immediately called it quit between the both of us and moved on to my current spouse.

Just yesterday in one of our outings,my fiancée opened up to me that she once had an abortion in the past.she begged me not to call it "quit” with her,assuring me that no damage was done.

Am confused here because i can't handle the trauma of childlessness and a lot has been going through my mind. I love her and she loves me too.

Please advice me.

Do i continue with the marriage ?
Do i accept that it is my destiny to settle down with
a lady that has done abortion in the past ?
Do i insist she get pregnant for me before our wedding ?
Do i just go ahead and marry her with a positive
mindset ?

Please help me out of this quagmire..

Yes! we all desire to have children, but is this the only reason or the major reason for marriage

Well, oga OP, you can see a doctor or several doctors. There is no need to start experimenting. Go to a renowned gynecologist and both of you should have fertility tests carried out on you.

The doctor can tell you if her uterus is damaged and the extent of damage, i.e if any oo.
Not all abortions cause damage to the uterus

You could go ahead and marry a virgin and she will not bear you children, so who are you to judge or question these issues.

For you to love in the first place means you are ready to be with her and forget her past.

Have you found out the circumstances surrounding the situation at that time? It is men like you that would frown at her had it been she had that child.

You've sworn you've never gotten a lady pregnant.............Are you so sure? Some ladies won't tell you but they will go ahead and have an abortion. Even if you have never gotten anyone pregnant, how sure are you that you can father a child?

Why make it seem as if ladies are the only ones that can be called infertile?

Moreover, this could just be a test.

At your leisure please listen to or read Omolara Kudayisi's story (shatteredglassng.com)

Tread carefully on this matter
Peace

she should ve open up before now. what a messed up!

I wld hv suggested fertility test b4 marriage bt wht if d baby's spirit she aborted is very high nd is ready 2 hunt her of producing more babies? because not all children die silent, i mean u guyz shd also seek 4 God's help. Having sex wt her b4 marriage, getting her preg 2 God we all knw is not proper as well bt if u claim u luv her u'll definitely let LOVE LEAD. See yaah

pak:


You're so on point, it might soon even become 'how many abortions has she had before'

Seriously, one is getting to the point of resignation. It is that bad.

nwachivis:
Please nairalanders help me out.I am not an expert when it comes to writing,but i will still manage to drive home my point to the best of my capacity.

I proposed marriage just of recent to my spouse and went ahead with the family introduction.I have ever since been making preparations for the wedding.

I had told her in our previous interactions that i cancelled the marriage preparations with my ex when she told me she had once aborted a baby for her ex,which made her bleed for days.she told me back then that she was scared her womb was damaged because the pregnancy was 3 months old when she carried out the abortion.she pleaded with me to still marry her,reminding me of God's ability to perform miracles,even though she admitted that it was a difficult thing for any african man to do.I immediately called it quit between the both of us and moved on to my current spouse.

Just yesterday in one of our outings,my fiancée opened up to me that she once had an abortion in the past.she begged me not to call it "quit” with her,assuring me that no damage was done.

Am confused here because i can't handle the trauma of childlessness and a lot has been going through my mind. I love her and she loves me too.

Please advice me.

Do i continue with the marriage ?
Do i accept that it is my destiny to settle down with
a lady that has done abortion in the past ?
Do i insist she get pregnant for me before our wedding ?
Do i just go ahead and marry her with a positive
mindset ?

Please help me out of this quagmire..

The cases you mentioned is quite sorrowful. No matter what happens, know for a fact that with God all things are possible. They can still give birth, i believe that some who find themselves in this case have been able to have an issue.

Those two women were honest to have told u this. No doubt if they have repented of their sins, and have made changes in there lives, God will forgive them. But they may suffer the consequences of their past mistakes, which may or may not be childlessness.

The decision to either marry any of them is YOURS to make. IF your decision is to marry her, have it in mind that you MAY not have issue. That realistic mindset will help even if she finally has an issue.

If on the other hand u can't bear childlessness, can u be confortable to adopt? if not, it might be better not to enter into that marriage, for u may regret it. And marrying out of pity is dangerous.

if you think that leaving her is the best (ie u can't endure staying without a kid), do not judge her cos of her past.

This I will advise though: Marriage is not all about kids. if u hinge ur happiness on kids, u may be disappointed cos even a virgin does not simply mean she can have an issue. She may not.

Happiness results from doing God's will, not on having issues. am not sayingan issue does not bring joy, it does. but God's will breeds lasting and true joy. luk 11:28

Manoah was a happy man even before an issue that took yrs to come. read judges 13

agarawu23:
These is not preaching matter. we are facing reality here and not expectations

God is able to do all things but God didn't ask us to take dangerous risk.

read from my first comment. I have already commend the Lady for such step.

. There are lots of ladies that got married has virgins but are still barren till date, meanwhile the said runs girl that later settled down for marriage are blessed with Batalions of children. So whoever is blessed is blessed....

@ MrsChima @ Deehvahrzz,
i am the one who should ask you which world you live in that you think that we shouldnt look at someone's past to evaluate them? bwaaaaaah. what anyone has done in their past is part of who they are today, you MUST use that to evaluate them and build a r/ship on solid grounds. you cant possibly build a great future with someone, while hiding from him something you did that he is against.

let me ask you this:
- if i suddenly tell you a few days before marriage that i was a child molester, a rapiist or that i've killed my 2 ex wives out of drunken rage. would you really NOT sit down and re-evaluate your stand in this r/ship?
- if i suddenly tell you a few days before marriage that i have kidnapped a few children and ate their organs, done money rituals to become who i am today, and that baba ijebu has still not been settled. would you really NOT sit down and re-evaluate your stand in this r/ship?
- if i suddenly tell you a few days before marriage that in the past i was a male prostitute selling my aaass to underground gay ogas at the top in lagos, without using condoms. would you really NOT sit down and re-evaluate your stand in this r/ship?

what i am trying to make you understand is that, what she did is wrong (in his mind), and from the day he discovers what she has done in her past, that man would not be able to look at her the same way.... its now a different person in front of him (a gal that did something he is against). so this is why he has to re-evaluate! r/ships crash everyday so this one aint any better. any woman who thinks that her past is irrelevant to her future, is fooling herself royally. your past will always be connect to your present and you future, and sometimes there are consequences

if a lady dreams of having a child, and discover just before marriage that her future hubby has low sperm count, then she must re-evaluate and decide if she wants to continue or not in the r/ship.... she has all the rights to do so.

so now, some virgins are barren OR some runz gal who had a few abortions got married and had 5 kids, so men shouldnt have an opinion on the past of the woman they are about to marry?!?!?!?!?!

blym:
U shud consider marrying an impotent waitin 4 God's miracles to manifest. .

From ur reply to me, its glaring that you don't see pass ur nose. is it all potent men that can get a woman pregnant? so many man today become impotent as a reason of any form of accident, so thier wives should divorce them abi? Dat any married couple has kids centers on the grace of God, nat by the sharpness of your sperm or by ur wife being a virgin. i am not in support of abortion and i av never done it all my life, The bible says thou shall not judge, but not only are u judging, u are also passing judgement, are u GOD? a man marries his virgin wife and she gets pregnant in the first month of the marriage , after three months and a misscarriage happens, due to complications from the miscarriage , her womb was injured during evacuation dat she has to undergo surgery for the womb to be removed, which medically means she is barren. so wat should d husband do divorce her ponder over that. cheers. just knw dat u are alive today is by his grace.

MRBrownJ:
@ MrsChima @ Deehvahrzz,
i am the one who should ask you which world you live in that you think that we shouldnt look at someone's past to evaluate them? bwaaaaaah. what anyone has done in their past is part of who they are today, you MUST use that to evaluate them and build a r/ship on solid grounds. you cant possibly build a great future with someone, while hiding from him something you did that he is against.

let me ask you this:
- if i suddenly tell you a few days before marriage that i was a child molester, a rapiist or that i've killed my 2 ex wives out of drunken rage. would you really NOT sit down and re-evaluate your stand in this r/ship?
- if i suddenly tell you a few days before marriage that i have kidnapped a few children and ate their organs, done money rituals to become who i am today, and that baba ijebu has still not been settled. would you really NOT sit down and re-evaluate your stand in this r/ship?
- if i suddenly tell you a few days before marriage that in the past i was a male prostitute selling my aaass to underground gay ogas at the top in lagos, without using condoms. would you really NOT sit down and re-evaluate your stand in this r/ship?

what i am trying to make you understand is that, what she did is wrong (in his mind), and from the day he discovers what she has done in her past, that man would not be able to look at her the same way.... its now a different person in front of him (a gal that did something he is against). so this is why he has to re-evaluate! r/ships crash everyday so this one aint any better. any woman who thinks that her past is irrelevant to her future, is fooling herself royally. your past will always be connect to your present and you future, and sometimes there are consequences

if a lady dreams of having a child, and discover just before marriage that her future hubby has low sperm count, then she must re-evaluate and decide if she wants to continue or not in the r/ship.... she has all the rights to do so.

so now, some virgins are barren OR some runz gal who had a few abortions got married and had 5 kids, so men shouldnt have an opinion on the past of the woman they are about to marry?!?!?!?!?!

Don't mind all these people who talk without thinking. Past is past so I should marry someone I just discovered to be a serial killer ?

mizlynda:
From ur reply to me, its glaring that you don't see pass ur nose. is it all potent men that can get a woman pregnant? so many man today become impotent as a reason of any form of accident, so thier wives should divorce them abi? Dat any married couple has kids centers on the grace of God, nat by the sharpness of your sperm or by ur wife being a virgin. i am not in support of abortion and i av never done it all my life, The bible says thou shall not judge, but not only are u judging, u are also passing judgement, are u GOD? a man marries his virgin wife and she gets pregnant in the first month of the marriage , after three months and a misscarriage happens, due to complications from the miscarriage , her womb was injured during evacuation dat she has to undergo surgery for the womb to be removed, which medically means she is barren. so wat should d husband do divorce her ponder over that. cheers. just knw dat u are alive today is by his grace.

. . Aint judging anibody. . Opps, dnt get me wrong, didnt tell u am condemning gals, or ladies ova dis issue, i only made mai comment base on reality nt 'hope'. . Attyms u've 2 face reality yoruba will say 'olorun kokin sey oba ika' he creatd all in hz image wit err'tyn in its rytful place, abortion shudnt b done on any circumstance, u're definitely a murderer if u do. . Stop being d' s.u'ish typ and face reality. . Lemme digress a lil, wen an illiterate hopes 2 bcum a lecturer base on hope, or marry an hiv patient coz God cures.. . Smh

Talking About Abortions, Why Are the Ladies At The Receiving End. Why Don't We Also Blame The Guys, Because If Their Semen Don't Get There, Definitely There Would Be No Need For Abortion.

blym:
. . Aint judging anibody. . Opps, dnt get me wrong, didnt tell u am condemning gals, or ladies ova dis issue, i only made mai comment base on reality nt 'hope'. . Attyms u've 2 face reality yoruba will say 'olorun kokin sey oba ika' he creatd all in hz image wit err'tyn in its rytful place, abortion shudnt b done on any circumstance, u're definitely a murderer if u do. . Stop being d' s.u'ish typ and face reality. . Lemme digress a lil, wen an illiterate hopes 2 bcum a lecturer base on hope, or marry an hiv patient coz God cures.. . Smh

Abeg no let ur head fall oh, its obvious u only read d op's story but you dont understand it, so no matter what i write, u will still not understand my point, but then everyone is entitled to an opinion, so that's your and this is mine and FYI i am not the s.u'ish type.. Enjoy the rest of ur day. Odabo.

mizlynda:
Abeg no let ur head fall oh, its obvious u only read d op's story but you dont understand it, so no matter what i write, u will still not understand my point, but then everyone is entitled to an opinion, so that's your and this is mine and FYI i am not the s.u'ish type.. Enjoy the rest of ur day. Odabo.

dnt let ur head fall! Is dat really needed? Huh? Kindly expatiate wat i cudnt fathom! Knw ur type buh cwiously u dnt nid d insults it's childish. . Just prove ur points sensibly nt provoke oda's. . Peace. .

Mprex:

lol. it amazes me..

can you imagine all of the screaming ladies and abortions as if its not a man that made them pregnant. Some of them here, their girlfriends have done countless abortions for them yet they are coming here to show themselves smh!


You know, I really dont blame them. Its we ladies that i blame.

yea blame ladies assuming you ladies sticks to no sex before marriage,all this abortions wouldnt had happened and men will marry earlier.
Instead they are busy jumping from one bed to another sampling different dickssSs.
Guys nowadays are even helping their ministry by fuckkking and dumping them anyhow.
Cheap things.

preetyb:
If only guys wud stop sleeping with girls before marriage there wont be a need for abortion cus it all starts frm the guys sleeping with the girls nd then mistakenly or delibrately releasing inside the girls So before u judge others judge urself. dnt just stay there and play the hero bcus u guys dnt get pregnant.

ladies should learn to say and stick to it,or are they forced?




Hornyyyy things!

pak:
Don't mind all these people who talk without thinking. Past is past so I should marry someone I just discovered to be a serial killer ?

well said! sadly, thats because many people out there are not willing to accept the consequences of their actions.... and think they can erase all the shiit they have done in the past (like it never happened). nonsense!

saintaustine:
Talking About Abortions, Why Are the Ladies At The Receiving End. Why Don't We Also Blame The Guys, Because If Their Semen Don't Get There, Definitely There Would Be No Need For Abortion.

sir, you did not follow the discussion well... abortion is not a crime and everybody has the right to decide if they want to have one or not, the dilemma is to accept that maybe some people will not want to associate with a lady (or man) because they had one.

if a lady finds out that her man is impotent she has to decide what she wants to do, and, not going through with the marriage should be one of the decision she could take. its all down to each and everyone of us to decide what we can and cant accept.

blym:
dnt let ur head fall! Is dat really needed? Huh? Kindly expatiate wat i cudnt fathom! Knw ur type buh cwiously u dnt nid d insults it's childish. . Just prove ur points sensibly nt provoke oda's. . Peace. .

And where did i insult you u wrote SMH and i begged you not to allow the head fall and u took it personal, Mr u cant know my type bcus you dont even me. u av ur opinion and i have mine , the oda post u called me a churchee and i swallowed it, naw i ask u nat to allow ur head fall and u started crying, and FYI, u were the first to quote my write up without me even mentioning ur name in my write up. abi shey oti gbagbe ni

onyiiella:
I have a cousin that did abortion upto15 times, infact the last one was the worst of them all because she bleeded for close to a month...

the reason why I must marry a virgin,I can't imagine having the likes of your cousin as a wife....I'll rather remain single for life,tufiakwa....


I pity her husband sha,cos I know he is not aware,no same man will marry such.

She should also pray her past is hidden forever.

@Nwachivis you mean she waited till you did introduction before saying this? That lady can kill a man. Oh I forgot she already killed(aborted). She is evil. *spits on thread*

ammyluv2002:
Bless you too.

So many kids in here! They think life is that simple...My neighbour's wife had 3 abortions before she got married last 4 years and today she has 2 kids. Note, she didn't tell her hubby any of these, you need to see her condemn the act each time we discuss such issue #PoorInnocentMan and the man will be like "girls are so mean" not knowing his wife has done worse things. There are stories of babes who even commit such act few weeks to their wedding yet they cat like saints and their husbands see them that way.

another reason I MUST marry a virgin,atleast I,ll be assured that her pucy and womb are still fresh....no time for over used pusy and semi damaged womb due to countless abortions.

Youngpo413:
another reason I MUST marry a virgin,atleast I,ll be assured that her pucy and womb are still fresh....no time for over used pusy and semi damaged womb due to countless abortions.

Are you a virgin?

pickabeau1:


do u have kids,,,

Yes I do. School fees na die

Daresh:


Yes I do. School fees na die

lol.... i can imagine however they make life worhtwhile

mizlynda:
And where did i insult you u wrote SMH and i begged you not to allow the head fall and u took it personal, Mr u cant know my type bcus you dont even me. u av ur opinion and i have mine , the oda post u called me a churchee and i swallowed it, naw i ask u nat to allow ur head fall and u started crying, and FYI, u were the first to quote my write up without me even mentioning ur name in my write up. abi shey oti gbagbe ni

its nt a crime to quote u or is it? Coz no insult ws meant. . 'crying' u meant dat really? Such puerille acts r worthless doesnt speakwell of u. . U 4gt ur comments? Miss/Mrs, just chillax, u're nt gonna lyk me been on ur case. . I dnt knw u, may i? C'mon we ain't hia to pickup a fyt. .

MRBrownJ:
@ MrsChima @ Deehvahrzz,
i am the one who should ask you which world you live in that you think that we shouldnt look at someone's past to evaluate them? bwaaaaaah. what anyone has done in their past is part of who they are today, you MUST use that to evaluate them and build a r/ship on solid grounds. you cant possibly build a great future with someone, while hiding from him something you did that he is against.

let me ask you this:
- if i suddenly tell you a few days before marriage that i was a child molester, a rapiist or that i've killed my 2 ex wives out of drunken rage. would you really NOT sit down and re-evaluate your stand in this r/ship?
- if i suddenly tell you a few days before marriage that i have kidnapped a few children and ate their organs, done money rituals to become who i am today, and that baba ijebu has still not been settled. would you really NOT sit down and re-evaluate your stand in this r/ship?
- if i suddenly tell you a few days before marriage that in the past i was a male prostitute selling my aaass to underground gay ogas at the top in lagos, without using condoms. would you really NOT sit down and re-evaluate your stand in this r/ship?

what i am trying to make you understand is that, what she did is wrong (in his mind), and from the day he discovers what she has done in her past, that man would not be able to look at her the same way.... its now a different person in front of him (a gal that did something he is against). so this is why he has to re-evaluate! r/ships crash everyday so this one aint any better. any woman who thinks that her past is irrelevant to her future, is fooling herself royally. your past will always be connect to your present and you future, and sometimes there are consequences

if a lady dreams of having a child, and discover just before marriage that her future hubby has low sperm count, then she must re-evaluate and decide if she wants to continue or not in the r/ship.... she has all the rights to do so.

so now, some virgins are barren OR some runz gal who had a few abortions got married and had 5 kids, so men shouldnt have an opinion on the past of the woman they are about to marry?!?!?!?!?!

You wrote all of that and STILL haven't said anything that convince me that someone can FORCE you to choose to deal with someone because they didn't disclose what they have done on the past BEFORE THEY MET YOU.

Not one person on this thread including you can tell me you have disclosed EVERYTHING in your past to the person you are in a relationship with..I know for a fact NO ONE HAS.

In that case we all have been deceitful because NONE OF US disclosed everything we have done in the past!

The world I live in is not fiction and a bunch of unrealistic bullshit.

pak:


Don't mind all these people who talk without thinking. Past is past so I should marry someone I just discovered to be a serial killer ?

You don't have to marry someone that you don't want to marry but know this just like you won't marry a serial killer neither does a person want to marry a dumb ass.

You have flaws and issues as well. I bet you won't disclose everything you have done unpleasantly.

Keep it real.