I'm highly inspired tonight, so I write. I was among the team that handled a case of acid burns last month in a private hospital where I do locum. The man had been suspecting the wife of infidelity, so as a car battery changer, he used some of that acid to destroy his wife. He woke up in the night, locked the door and first beat her to stupor. In her weakness, he forced a cupful of acid down her throat before pouring the rest on her. He then opened the door; and before neighbours could ascertain the level of damage done due to the darkness of the room, the man had fled. And what more? That woman was pregnant for him.

The neighbours brought her to our center. We tried our best and then refered them. She died on the way.

The man has been caught by the police; so we heard. He is in police custody now, awaiting court action.

I am an advocate of good relationships; because I am in a relationship that is giving me peace of mind. A good woman is a blessing from God.

In the same way, an honest, God-fearing man too is a blessing every lady should pray for. In this write up, I show you seven types of people you should dismiss from your life if you want peace of mind and long life.

Being in a relationship can be fun. The companionship, the love, the care, the sharing of financial burdens, the respect, the sincere advice, the hugs, etc are all priceless; but more priceless is to make sure that you're in it with the right person.

I hate stories that touch!

There are seven different kinds of people who make a relationship a challenge. When you finally say goodbye to them, please, say it and mean it. I write to ladies and gents alike.

1) THOSE WHO DISTRACT YOU.
They distract you with irrelevancies. They are averse to your being serious with your studies for once in your life. They feel left out and lost once you become more serious with your life. They enjoy the sex, the parties, the nights out, the shopping, etc.

Those who distract you break your focus and limit your vision. They do not seem to be there to help you reach your goal. You must not spend your time with those who distract you, trying to see if you can change them.

2) THOSE WHO DISREGARD YOU.

Familiarity breeds contempt. For guys, building a positive relationship is difficult with a girl who tries to belittle you, possibly because she knows your struggles or she knows your small beginnings.

Sometimes, it may be because they've not been trained to act with honour. People outside may still be holding you high, but she continuously puts you down knowingly or unknowingly in public; because you're not worth much again in her eyes. She has seen you broke, and all that; so she tends to treat you with some contempt, even in public. Leave her for the sake of your self esteem.

For the girls, you know these type of guys who tend to disregard you. Perhaps he has done it to you in all styles and positions. When he wants to push you away, he starts disregarding you in public places, and his courtesy drops. You can learn your lesson for the next relationship, and move on. Dont force it.

3) THOSE WHO DELAY YOU.

Delays weaken your desire for progress. Delays create the atmosphere of doubt. Those who delay you slow down your drive to achieving your set goal. You may end up reaching your promised land in forty years instead of forty days.

They give you engagement ring and you wear it for six years. They are never financially ready to come and see your people; and they have a way of pleading with you to give them more time. As you keep on giving them more time, you are already performing all wifely duties for them already. You just attained a higher level of foolishness.

4) THOSE WHO DISAPPOINT YOU.

They do not fulfill their own side of an agreement, or a relationship, or a covenant. They make you lofty promises and disappoint you at the end. They never keep their word. You can notice these kind of guys easily. They keep on disappointing one girl after another. It is a lifestyle for them. It is almost genetic.

It is wise you relate formally with them, but do roll with only those who keep their word. You can notice it as they keep the little promises they make to you, such as returning your calls when they say they will. Faithful ladies and gentlemen will reduce your stress in life.

5) THOSE WHO DEVALUE YOU.

Devaluation is a reduction of quality, quantity, or impact. Those who devalue you take away any sense of self-respect you have for yourself. It will be a headache to attempt to go to your promised land with those people who always have a problem with your goals, dreams, visions and perspective on life. You'll never make it to the promised land.

Sometimes, you can even hear the snare and contempt in their voice as they talk to you.

I had an uncle like that who was a successful orthopaedic surgeon, but his body language each time I visited him told me that this man does not believe that I could study medicine and graduate. He at one time advised me to go and study something else, and that he will put me on scholarship if I left pursuing medicine; because I was about to write my third JAMB, seeking medicine again. He felt I was wasting my time!

If you have such a person as your friend, seriously wave bye to them, and please mean it. You need to be with people who believe in you.

6) THOSE WHO DECEIVE YOU.

I have seen people say something, but they really meant another thing. Such people make positive relationships very difficult. He tells you that he loves you to the moon and back, yet he cheats on you, and you can sense it from the scent on his body when he tries to give you another insincere kiss.

She tells you that that man is her uncle, but you'll find out later that the man is not her uncle but her sugar daddy in school.

Mark those who tell a lie or half truths, and keep them far from you.

7) THOSE WHO ARE DIVISIVE.

~Divisive people break the power of unity.

~Divisive people break the strength of a relationship.

~Divisive people turn brothers against brothers, sisters against sisters.

~Divisive people use information they know about you against you.

~Divisive people are whisperers, they carry gossip and seperate the best of friends.

In summary:

About relationships, make sure you are with the right person. Whether it is a guy's relationship with his girl or with his fellow guys in the hood; or a girl's relationship with her man or with her female friends in the hostel, be with the right people. Anybody you relate with has ability to take you up or down.

I'm not an advocate of divorce, but please, if he has extremely violent tendencies, save your life and take a walk first. You can talk later. There is a time submission becomes foolishness; then it matures to enslavement.

And to all the singles in the house, always remember that friendship is not by force, but by choice.

Can two walk together except they agree? Amos 3:3 (The Holy Bible).

Take charge of your life!

Woow!

Such a wonderful piece. To be with the right person is expedient, as it will never work with the wrong person.

Oftentimes, people have fears of starting all over again, that's why they settle for less.

Ensure you are yourself and can better with your partner.

Mentorandfriend, I wish you a good marriage in advance.

This is such a wonderful and educative piece @ op, may God bless you.[color=#000099][/color]

Jamean:
Woow!

Such a wonderful piece. To be with the right person is expedient, as it will never work with the wrong person.

Oftentimes, people have fears of starting all over again, that's why they settle for less.

Ensure you are yourself and can better with your partner.

Mentorandfriend, I wish you a good marriage in advance.

Thank you so much darl.

Thanks mentor. There's no point remaining in a physically/emotionally abusive r/ship. Peace of mind is a precious thing

Honestly! This post just made my mouth sour! I can't even finish it. "She died on the way" was where I stopped and it made me very very angry that such monster as the said husband still walk in this very world!.

To make matters worse sick fu..cks like him still plagued this Earth!!!.

When I was little I use to pray that we should have a Batman or a Superman so that they can bring the likes of that windbag to justice. Now that I'm an adult, it finally dawned on me that even if Batman and Superman were alive, and they do what they do!. They will FAIL!!!, because as long a man knows a can get away with crime, he will never shy away from it!.

I even thought Frank Castle a.k.a the Punisher will be a good match for such modafucka's, but I was still wrong!.

However, people like the said husband need the likes of Doduk Fugiro!. If you've read Eric Van Lustbader's book title The Kaisho you know who I'm talking about, because killing such people will be doing them an actual favor!!!.

Its just so sad! The world is a messed up place full of deviant monsters who get away with their abominable crimes!.

Hmmm,nice one

Wonderful post! I learnt alot thanks op.

Postus Articulatus!

*pasting GBAM stickers all over post*

I agree with all of this. Every point.

When I was young, and naive, I thought 'love' was all that mattered. I thought it was heroic to overlook every flaw, in the name of love, without looking out for myself.

But now... *stroking ancient beards and sharing kola with op*

This Is disgusting.
Nice tips mentor.
Above all go for a man/woman who is passionate about God.

*let me get comfortable because this might take awhile*

Modified:


Wow. It's not very often that I get to really learn something in the romance section but today I found a blessing because like oahray I was foolish and believed that love concurred all.

That while there was love I could put up with the points the mentor mentioned.

I would let myself be devalued, delayed, deceived, dishonored and disregarded just to hear him say I love you.

Today by the grace of my higher being I now understand that love is shown and not just uttered.


*So let me grow an ancient beard and sit amongst the wise sharing kola with the op*

Nubian113:
*let me get comfortable because this might take awhile*

Modified:


Wow. It's not very often that I get to really learn something in the romance section but today I found a blessing because like oahray I was foolish and believed that love concurred all.

That while there was love I could put up with the points the mentor mentioned.

I would let myself be devalued, delayed, deceived, dishonored and disregarded just to hear him say I love you.

Today by the grace of my higher being I now understand that love is shown and not just uttered.


*So let me grow an ancient beard and sit amongst the wise sharing kola with the op*

lol. Sit with me jor *offers her kola*

Foolish wasn't exactly the word for mine sha. Your level be high pass my own... Like well well

* Takes the kola.... Turns to get eye contact... Takes a swig... pause... and says*


The more mistakes the wiser one is.

Oahray:
lol. Sit with me jor *offers her kola*

Foolish wasn't exactly the word for mine sha. Your level be high pass my own... Like well well

OP dis very good write

U r intelligent n I use advice n wait for good girl that I trust, not girl that stab me because argument

Kudos!

Nubian113:
* Takes the kola.... Turns to get eye contact... Takes a swig... pause... and says*


The more mistakes the wiser one is.

well, not necessarily. Only those who learn from their mistakes become wiser for it.

Plus you can learn from the mistakes of others

Oahray:
well, not necessarily. Only those who learn from their mistakes become wiser for it.

Plus you can learn from the mistakes of others

This post was here since april 24 but here i am,I just read this today,october 7,,,,,infact,I'm really impress....thank you for this

& this never made Front page

SMH


Sir Mentor, indeed U are mentor.

I just wonder why I don't have someone like U around me.