Op,
The way you've talked about your wife is ugly. You sound bitter and resentful.Such a shame.
100k out of 500k for taking care of the whole house plus her own personal expenses and you are blowing like damaged exhaust pipe?

Come out and say what your real grievance is.You are in knots because she doesn't work.If you could type this online I wonder how you treat her in reality.

Please o women,check your partner before you decide to do housewife..the pain is real.You feel anger that she's not making money but she's spending it anyhow.Imagine running gen 24/7 and the guts to sit her non working ny ash to watch dstv!!! Chaiiii.

Anyways,your lifestyle matters.Things are costly and its for 4 people probably used to a certain standard...If its too much for you,take over and start going to market,cooking the food etc.You can also switch the gen off and cut off the dstv subscription.
she can make up for it by taking fresh air outside and singing folklores.

If you are used to a certain way of life,you have to pay for it.Next thing someone who earns 50k will write that he gives his wife 5k for 12 people per month,and also write recipe for 1k pot of soup with chicken that should last 2 years.

If you are unhappy,talk to your wife and then take over for a month.Yea and pleaaaase let her get a job before your insults will increase cos you obviously are not the type to appreciate her contribution to the home if its not in cold hard cash.

It almost always depends on what happens in your home, what kinds of food do you eat is it all local or do you buy all this ajebo foods, does oga like fresh fish and smoked goat meat, do both your friends and family visit and are accustomed to being feed, where do you live, eti-osa or alimosho foodstuff are less expensive in the later. Does the 100k include money for all toiletries for the home, does it include madam pocket money, money to buy pampers and little underwear for the children and herself and even oga sef or she dey come ask you for every little other stuff, do the children plate hair, you mention petrol easy to spend 10-15k on this alone so most men will tend to take care of this separately.

100k all in is not too much especially if you earn 500k and live in an expensive part of town. I have heard 30-50k on average but in these situations the women do work and have access to other monies and the husband might not be at home for the most part or the children in boarding house and only come home at the weekends or less frequently.

OP Your post is too vague. Like most have said it all depends on your standard of living but 20%of your salary is not too much if you don't spend another 100,000 paying Dstv bill, fueling gen, buying recharge card, buying drinks, Aso Ebi e.t.c. What I mean is that if she doesn't ask for any other money for the whole month after giving her 100,000. And please don't resent your wife for not working. because if this is the underlying reason even if she spend 40,000 you will still have complaints. You are the man, It is the responsibility of the man to provide for his family, And who says she is not working? She is working to raise you kids instead of allowing a stranger to to do it. I don't want to assume but I guess there is more to this than what your post alludes to. Appreciate your Wife.

Mrs0J:
@ OP, you have gotten enough reasonable advice here. Pls communicate with your wife.

Am a mother also with a family of 5. I spend 60k per month on feeding, sometimes it will be enough, sometimes it won't cos my kids are picky eaters. Plus we mothers and wives knows how to prepare good quality meals but we tend to cut down to manage things. Your wife don't need to burn fuel all the time, rather channel the cash to other areas. From 8am I drop my kids to school, i get so busy with house erands that i don't have time to watch TV or take a nap.( i don't have house help).
Pls discuss with your wife, a wife should help her hubby to manage and build the home.

MrsOJ, I think this is a mother. I will get back to you.
What I wrote here is not as bad as some are extending it, but what I want us to cut down on somethings so that we can invest on properties. I want to get points to present to her to agree with me.

People have said so many good things here I really appreciate.

MrsOJ please what of buying dry food items that does not require refrigerator so as to preserve money on generator fuel.

Thanks.

why is she not working
is she sick
how do some women cope by doing nothing all day?

dollarlander:


MrsOJ, I think this is a mother. I will get back to you.
What I wrote here is not as bad as some are extending it, but what I want us to cut down on somethings so that we can invest on properties. I want to get points to present to her to agree with me.

People have said so many good things here I really appreciate.

MrsOJ please what of buying dry food items that does not require refrigerator so as to preserve money on generator fuel.

Thanks.

Yes you can buy dry foods like, rice beans, yam, crayfish, peper, maggi, oil both red and veg for monrhly consumptions.

For instance, i buy a bag of rice, a paint of beans( cos i don't want weevils to ravage them in case of large quantities), 4 litres of red oil last me for 2-3 months, 5litres of veg oil, a packet of knor cube, a paint of crayfish, 6 wraps of stockfish flesh,etc.

What am saying is its possible, all you need is planning. For fuel, u can't rule it out incase of there are soups and stews in the fridge/ freezer, so that it won't go bad. Get inverter for watching TV and using fan when there is no light. Pls sir include your wife in your planning, communicate with her in a loving way.

OP, it is virtually impossible for anyone here to give you what you are looking for. The only one that can do that is your wife. You may only use what you get here as guidance, because if try to force feed it to your wife, it will backfire on you. It will be farfetched to see a married woman that would not want to see her family grow financially. The question is how two of you handle the discussion of cost cutting. Do you try to get her involved in your plans for the future and make her buy in to your ideas or do you just highlight her "extravagant" lifestyle while intimating her that you are the sole breadwinner? I understand that your goal is to cut down on "unnecessary" expenses, and invest the savings. Trust me, she will adjust her spending habit if two of you become partners in discussing what the savings will be used for. She will be so happy you listened to and considered her own suggestions that she will practically give in to your "logical" suggestion.

dollarlander:


Let's don't go there, because that's another issue entirely.

We need to understand the dynamics first.

1. Why did u tell her how much u earn?

2. You are giving 4 people 100k wat do u use the remaining 400k for?

3.its a month. Not a week 100 k is Just fine if not work harder and earn more

bukatyne:


We need to understand the dynamics first.

He might not be comfortable with divulging more information, You don't want to bring all your family history to Nairaland. He must have learnt somethings from advices given him so far.

Time2Smile:
He might not be comfortable with divulging more information, You don't want to bring all your family history to Nairaland. He must have learnt somethings from advices given him so far.

Abi ooo, no need to force the Op for more info.

Time2Smile:
He might not be comfortable with divulging more information, You don't want to bring all your family history to Nairaland. He must have learnt somethings from advices given him so far.

don't blame her joor,
All her life is on nairaland,,

bukatyne:

We need to understand the dynamics first.

hello bae, naa so you jobless reach
so u wan begin analyze another person wahala, federal govt is still employing people for grade 2 jobs
Oloriburuku

oloyede252:


hello bae, naa so you jobless reach

so u wan begin analyze another person wahala,
federal govt is still employing people for grade 2 jobs

Oloriburuku

Aaaaaha, why the insult oga?

Mrs0J:

Aaaaaha, why the insult oga?

its her job less joblessness that is getting me angry, jare my sister

oloyede252:


its her job less joblessness that is getting me angry, jare my sister

Is ok abeg so that this thread won't be derailed

Mrs0J:
@ OP, you have gotten enough reasonable advice here. Pls communicate with your wife.

Am a mother also with a family of 5. I spend 60k per month on feeding, sometimes it will be enough, sometimes it won't cos my kids are picky eaters. Plus we mothers and wives knows how to prepare good quality meals but we tend to cut down to manage things. Your wife don't need to burn fuel all the time, rather channel the cash to other areas. From 8am I drop my kids to school, i get so busy with house erands that i don't have time to watch TV or take a nap.( i don't have house help).
Pls discuss with your wife, a wife should help her hubby to manage and build the home.

Chop knuckle

[quote author=Dyt post=33607284]

Chop knuckle
[/quo...

..

Dyt:


Chop knuckle

Lol mami ba wo? eku jo meta.

Mrs0J:


Lol mami ba wo? eku jo meta.

I am fine
Trust u good too

Dyt:


I am fine
Trust u good too

Yea sure

*double post

Jahblessme:


If you are used to a certain way of life,you have to pay for it.Next thing someone who earns 50k will write that he gives his wife 5k for 12 people per month,and also write recipe for 1k pot of soup with chicken that should last 2 years.

Didn't want to comment on this thread but this really got me rotflmao.

Jahblessme:
Op,
The way you've talked about your wife is ugly. You sound bitter and resentful.Such a shame.
100k out of 500k for taking care of the whole house plus her own personal expenses and you are blowing like damaged exhaust pipe?

Come out and say what your real grievance is.You are in knots because she doesn't work.If you could type this online I wonder how you treat her in reality.

Please o women,check your partner before you decide to do housewife..the pain is real.You feel anger that she's not making money but she's spending it anyhow.Imagine running gen 24/7 and the guts to sit her non working ny ash to watch dstv!!! Chaiiii.

Anyways,your lifestyle matters.Things are costly and its for 4 people probably used to a certain standard...If its too much for you,take over and start going to market,cooking the food etc.You can also switch the gen off and cut off the dstv subscription.
she can make up for it by taking fresh air outside and singing folklores.

If you are used to a certain way of life,you have to pay for it.Next thing someone who earns 50k will write that he gives his wife 5k for 12 people per month,and also write recipe for 1k pot of soup with chicken that should last 2 years.

If you are unhappy,talk to your wife and then take over for a month.Yea and pleaaaase let her get a job before your insults will increase cos you obviously are not the type to appreciate her contribution to the home if its not in cold hard cash.

u cray, as in house wifey is just not it, imagine asking for money to buy pant. They will be calculating how u sit at home and eat meat and the number of hours you watch TV. Get out and make your own money women

dollarlander:


MrsOJ, I think this is a mother. I will get back to you.
What I wrote here is not as bad as some are extending it, but what I want us to cut down on somethings so that we can invest on properties. I want to get points to present to her to agree with me.

People have said so many good things here I really appreciate.

MrsOJ please what of buying dry food items that does not require refrigerator so as to preserve money on generator fuel.

Thanks.

Oga abeg please leave the 100k for your wife ah ah. Do you think it is easy to just be at home not being productive in society. Maybe it's the telem1ndo that she watches that keeps her sane, haba.

Ok lemme ask you, how much do you want to cut down the money by, 20k?, 30k?. Is it that 20k or 30k that you want to use to invest in properties. Why can't you structure the remaining 400k so that you can make substantial savings from that that's still a helluva lot money left over.

oloyede252:


hello bae, naa so you jobless reach

so u wan begin analyze another person wahala,
federal govt is still employing people for grade 2 jobs

Oloriburuku

Next time, use your drugs before coming online

Time2Smile:
He might not be comfortable with divulging more information, You don't want to bring all your family history to Nairaland. He must have learnt somethings from advices given him so far.

Mrs0J:

Abi ooo, no need to force the Op for more info.

The OP is free not to divulge However We need to understand the root cause.

To be honest, N100k out of N500k in a month is not much for a family of four.

If the OP feels it is too much due to the standard of life they live, it could be that his wife is passing a subtle message...

Is she tired of staying at home? Is the OP tired of her staying at home etc. etc.

I am sure they will be able to reach a compromise If they work at it.

bukatyne:




The OP is free not to divulge However We need to understand the root cause.

To be honest, N100k out of N500k in a month is not much for a family of four.

If the OP feels it is too much due to the standard of life they live, it could be that his wife is passing a subtle message...

Is she tired of staying at home? Is the OP tired of her staying at home etc. etc.

I am sure they will be able to reach a compromise If they work at it.

One key factor is where they reside, at the same time the 100k could be for the house expenses including his if well planned and managed.

Then Op should set up a biz for wifey so that she can be useful with her time which cuts down the TV watching and burning of fuel

Anyway they both understand their family needs and planning and should work on that.

Some months when my hubby has lost of expenses to take care of, he will discuss with me and we will look at how to cut somethings out and manage till the following month.

Mrs0J:


Lol mami ba wo? eku jo meta.

Mrs OJ omo iya ni yin.

Taaba soko Loja ara ile eni nii ba o. E se eku agba le mi.

I've actually derived so many reasonable advice from every one. Eventhough in multiple of counsels there have been some madness here on NL but there are some very powerful counsel that has opened my eyes to certain realities.

Thank you very much

dollarlander:


Mrs OJ omo iya ni yin.

Taaba soko Loja ara ile eni nii ba o. E se eku agba le mi.

I've actually derived so many reasonable advice from every one. Eventhough in multiple of counsels there have been some madness here on NL but there are some very powerful counsel that has opened my eyes to certain realities.

Thank you very much

Lol Dyt oya cum n translate for ur babe ooo.

@op remember notin last 4eva that ur N500,000 naira job might not be there tomorrow,make use of the opportunity u have and invest dat money so u can have somtin to fall back to should incase of any eventuality and it will also give u access to multiple income,nt necessary you depending on ur salary alone,as per ur wife I would rather advice u start a biz for her,so she can use the profit from the biz to assist the family in which ever way she can rather than leaving the responsibiltiy for u all alone not that you won't assist oh,bt shine ur eyes dis is naija the money might nt be there tomorrow make use of dis opporuntiy u av got nw and use dem wisely!

bukatyne:




The OP is free not to divulge However We need to understand the root cause.

To be honest, N100k out of N500k in a month is not much for a family of four.

If the OP feels it is too much due to the standard of life they live, it could be that his wife is passing a subtle message...

Is she tired of staying at home? Is the OP tired of her staying at home etc. etc.

I am sure they will be able to reach a compromise If they work at it.

Una wan dig yam to the bottom of the pot, e ba!!! The one I divulged is okay. We. Live in one of the three most referred cities in Nigeria.

The fact I said my wife is not working is not to spite her, she is well educated and came from a well to do family. Just that her job hasn't come does not mean that she is not making effort to get one, I believe that hers will come soonest. But just that I want her listen to.me when I talk. We need to cut down every angle.

See most of people in Nigeria banking industry are loosing jobs and more will still loose their jobs because these institutions are cutting costs at all cost. Even oil and gas industries are doing the same.

If you are a CNN or aljazera person and listen to world views on economy you will understand you have to rigorously save for terrible days a head. If you are the kind of wife that all your life is on telemundo and these romance things that are not real especially given Nigeria economy you are due for a doom, because you don't know what is going on at the economic analysis of things, everyone is just saying things are not easy.

For instance beside the house I live is a 2 plots of land with uncompleted 6 flats. The owners are couples who had worked in the bank before but lost their jobs almost the same time, they have four kids, if you see them you will dash them money. The only grace they have is that they are able to build small rooms on the second plot and managed to roof the main uncompleted building.

Life is not easy for this couple. Imagine couple who were working, talk of only one working in this instance.

What I want is that we deny some pleasure so we might not suffer in the future.

Imaging saving 30k a month from that 100k and using the remaining money buying properties that appreciate over time. Land as asset are becoming expensive yearly. Its better to invest on landed properties than putting the money in the bank. Estate appreciate banks go on distress and your money also distressed.

If at all anything happens you can still continue your life without thinking of suicide. In my own case life continues, I've been through worst situations that did not end my life so from experience until a man dies there's hope to succeed.

People reason with me o. If you make bad monetary decisions people will spite you at the end. G