jayedu108:
@op remember notin last 4eva that ur N500,000 naira job might not be there tomorrow,make use of the opportunity u have and invest dat money so u can have somtin to fall back to should incase of any eventuality and it will also give u access to multiple income,nt necessary you depending on ur salary alone,as per ur wife I would rather advice u start a biz for her,so she can use the profit from the biz to assist the family in which ever way she can rather than leaving the responsibiltiy for u all alone not that you won't assist oh,bt shine ur eyes dis is naija the money might nt be there tomorrow make use of dis opporuntiy u av got nw and use dem wisely!

dollarlander:


Una wan dig yam to the bottom of the pot, e ba!!! The one I divulged is okay. We. Live in one of the three most referred cities in Nigeria.

The fact I said my wife is not working is not to spite her, she is well educated and came from a well to do family. Just that her job hasn't come does not mean that she is not making effort to get one, I believe that hers will come soonest. But just that I want her listen to.me when I talk. We need to cut down every angle.

See most of people in Nigeria banking industry are loosing jobs and more will still loose their jobs because these institutions are cutting costs at all cost. Even oil and gas industries are doing the same.

If you are a CNN or aljazera person and listen to world views on economy you will understand you have to rigorously save for terrible days a head. If you are the kind of wife that all your life is on telemundo and these romance things that are not real especially given Nigeria economy you are due for a doom, because you don't know what is going on at the economic analysis of things, everyone is just saying things are not easy.

For instance beside the house I live is a 2 plots of land with uncompleted 6 flats. The owners are couples who had worked in the bank before but lost their jobs almost the same time, they have four kids, if you see them you will dash them money. The only grace they have is that they are able to build small rooms on the second plot and managed to roof the main uncompleted building.

Life is not easy for this couple. Imagine couple who were working, talk of only one working in this instance.

What I want is that we deny some pleasure so we might not suffer in the future.

Imaging saving 30k a month from that 100k and using the remaining money buying properties that appreciate over time. Land as asset are becoming expensive yearly. Its better to invest on landed properties than putting the money in the bank. Estate appreciate banks go on distress and your money also distressed.

If at all anything happens you can still continue your life without thinking of suicide. In my own case life continues, I've been through worst situations that did not end my life so from experience until a man dies there's hope to succeed.

People reason with me o. If you make bad monetary decisions people will spite you at the end. G

Mrs0J:

Lol Dyt oya cum n translate for ur babe ooo.

Dyt:


He's saying thank you
Thank you
Thank you

And the proverb means
Those living in a glass house shouldn't throw stones
Hmmmmmm

IamforGod:
1. Why did u tell her how much u earn?

2. You are giving 4 people 100k wat do u use the remaining 400k for?

3.its a month. Not a week 100 k is Just fine if not work harder and earn more

Mrs0J:
Spot on Op

bukatyne:


The bolded not necessary

I am sure If you communicate your fears to your wife with these points she will understand your POV and have similar vision.

Goodluck.

dollarlander:


Madam OJ, I thought you are a Yoruba woman when I read Yoruba in one of your post. The interpreter is okay. Thank you very much.

This thread has put joy in my mind because ideas keep flowing from people with good will. But there are some young wives here that have not faced reality of life. They behave and talk like SHELL people wives. They dress to kill to show hubby get money, travel all over the europe for shopping, not knowing to them hubby is taking loans to meet up with the wifey needs. When oil company has the husband to go and relax at home, the money they pay the hubby minus the loans may amount to nothing and BP will rise, few months later mortuary, obituary.

People save, save, saveeee

CHM11:

N30,000 for one month is not small for foodstuff. Especially for a young family. Its just 4 weeks, what is she eating that she will spend 30K on only foodstuff in a month. Abeg let's be realistic, half bag of rice is about 5K which definitely they can't finish in 2 months.

This woman is just being wasteful or she has other plans of having her own personal savings without working!!!!

Mrs0J:
@ OP, you have gotten enough reasonable advice here. Pls communicate with your wife.

Am a mother also with a family of 5. I spend 60k per month on feeding, sometimes it will be enough, sometimes it won't cos my kids are picky eaters. Plus we mothers and wives knows how to prepare good quality meals but we tend to cut down to manage things. Your wife don't need to burn fuel all the time, rather channel the cash to other areas. From 8am I drop my kids to school, i get so busy with house erands that i don't have time to watch TV or take a nap.( i don't have house help).
Pls discuss with your wife, a wife should help her hubby to manage and build the home.

San2ski:


Mrs OJ, d'yu hv a younger unmarried sister?
You seem to come from a good breed.

Hotstepper:
When my hubby thought I spend a lot on feeding, I started writing down every single thing I buy even if na 5 naira and at the end of the month, I will present it to him. Infact, there was a time he went to the market to buy stuff and came back.and told.me na wah oo, everything is so expensive and feeding went from 30k to 50k cuz sometimes i.will put 1 fish instead of 2. At a point he started saying ' I won't suffer to make money and suffer to eat it' lol. Even at that, he has bought lands and will soon start building yet he's training his siblings nd taking care of his mum.

I.dont think any woman won't want good thing for her family like owning their own house etc. I still think you have to discuss with your wife. Mind you, I cook soup everyday cuz no light where we are etc.

We also have education fund for our kids for uni with put money every month. I don't get any allowance nd it's from the feeding that I use to do my hair but then we don't live in expensive and big city

jany:
Oga wetin telemundo do u? I personally dont watch it but u keep mentioning it. I think ur main beef with ur wife is that she does not have a job.
Before i comment or make suggestions y not say where u live so pple can know where to start from. What type of school your kids go to so we can measure the standard of living they are used to.
U mentioned in one of your posts that you pay your parents their salary every month. Biko how much and what job are they doing for you? Do you also pay your wifes parents too or she takes from the 100k? or you dont think her own parents also deserve salary?.
Why not decide how much u will give her for personal upkeep and give her that for like 2 months while you buy everything the home needs so u will have an idea of how much is actually spent then you start your discussion from there.

bukatyne:


Next time, use your drugs before coming online

jany:
Oga wetin telemundo do u? I personally dont watch it but u keep mentioning it. I think your main beef with ur wife is that she does not have a job.
Before i comment or make suggestions y not say where u live so pple can know where to start from. What type of school your kids go to so we can measure the standard of living they are used to.
U mentioned in one of your posts that you pay your parents their salary every month. Biko how much and what job are they doing for you? Do you also pay your wifes parents too or she takes from the 100k? or you dont think her own parents also deserve salary?.
Why not decide how much u will give her for personal upkeep and give her that for like 2 months while you buy everything the home needs so u will have an idea of how much is actually spent then you start your discussion from there.

Mrs0J:


Lol am yoruba by marriage, still learning the language.

My brother as a woman, i love good things ( shoes, clothes, etc) but not at the detriment of my family's future. You reason like ur bro( my hubby), so please make iyawo to understand, heart to heart long night talk will solve the problem.

dollarlander:


@Dyt

MrsOJ and @Dyt, I want to thank these characters that were involved in supplying real life stories of theirs and others that contributed wisely.
Someone said Nairaland is not the place to get solution to my question, but I want to tell that person that he/she was wrong.

I think Nairaland is the best place to get solution to issues like these because you avoid telling your stories to people, family, friends or Pastors that know you and can use your case to spite you in your presence or absence.

I don't know MrsOJ and she doesn't know me. She may even be my neighbour but the e-partition between us makes it easy to share my mind with you guys.

So, after all you peoples ideas, bashings and wise suggestions I sat down with my wife and I realised that I need to do more, it is not easy.
In my mind I decided to add extra 40k to her monthly allowance but I told her 20 which she greatly appreciated and was very happy about it.

There are problems that are easily solvable if due diligence and round table solution are applied. I was able to understand what I did not see that were happening. And I also see that, since I have been getting pay rise to be able to reach 500k salary, which is still continous, my wife also deserves pay rise.

So people, thank you very much for your input God bless you. And the person that is collecting below 200k, you will be promoted to 1million naira per month. All of you will experience economic turn around that will change your stories for good. It is already happening, those who stole Nigeria money are already returning them and courts that will accellerate probation of corrupt politicians and government officials are being setup by the President elect to collect substancial stolen funds. Ah!!! Patience Jonathan da'ran(she is in trouble).

Thank you guys God bless.

Thread continues please, don't close it let others come here to learn and drop their first class experience.

dollarlander:


@Dyt

MrsOJ and @Dyt, I want to thank these characters that were involved in supplying real life stories of theirs and others that contributed wisely.
Someone said Nairaland is not the place to get solution to my question, but I want to tell that person that he/she was wrong.

I think Nairaland is the best place to get solution to issues like these because you avoid telling your stories to people, family, friends or Pastors that know you and can use your case to spite you in your presence or absence.

I don't know MrsOJ and she doesn't know me. She may even be my neighbour but the e-partition between us makes it easy to share my mind with you guys.

So, after all you peoples ideas, bashings and wise suggestions I sat down with my wife and I realised that I need to do more, it is not easy.
In my mind I decided to add extra 40k to her monthly allowance but I told her 20 which she greatly appreciated and was very happy about it.

There are problems that are easily solvable if due diligence and round table solution are applied. I was able to understand what I did not see that were happening. And I also see that, since I have been getting pay rise to be able to reach 500k salary, which is still continous, my wife also deserves pay rise.

So people, thank you very much for your input God bless you. And the person that is collecting below 200k, you will be promoted to 1million naira per month. All of you will experience economic turn around that will change your stories for good. It is already happening, those who stole Nigeria money are already returning them and courts that will accellerate probation of corrupt politicians and government officials are being setup by the President elect to collect substancial stolen funds. Ah!!! Patience Jonathan da'ran(she is in trouble).

Thank you guys God bless.

Thread continues please, don't close it let others come here to learn and drop their first class experience.

Hotstepper:
When my hubby thought I spend a lot on feeding, I started writing down every single thing I buy even if na 5 naira and at the end of the month, I will present it to him. Infact, there was a time he went to the market to buy stuff and came back.and told.me na wah oo, everything is so expensive and feeding went from 30k to 50k cuz sometimes i.will put 1 fish instead of 2. At a point he started saying ' I won't suffer to make money and suffer to eat it' lol. Even at that, he has bought lands and will soon start building yet he's training his siblings nd taking care of his mum.

I.dont think any woman won't want good thing for her family like owning their own house etc. I still think you have to discuss with your wife. Mind you, I cook soup everyday cuz no light where we are etc.

We also have education fund for our kids for uni with put money every month. I don't get any allowance nd it's from the feeding that I use to do my hair but then we don't live in expensive and big city

dollarlander:
Dear Nairalander, this is a personal issue I need you peoples help. It is not happening to my friend or someone else but me.

I need views from everyone, especially married families.
I earn, as an average income of almost 500k per month, even when I was earning 300k plus I've been fighting this issue. My wife demands for 100k monthly to manage a home of four people, myself, she and 2 kids less than 8yrs hold.

I'm the one working she is not. Telling her to find a way to stop spends on fuel for generator but each time I raise this there will be terrible fight.

I have an opinion that we need to reduce our spends on grocery items so that we can build up enough savings for better things. She talks about savings but she finds it difficult to deny herself some pleasure.

I want to take some decisions but I think I need to seek popular opinions if I'm wrong and I'm not seeing reasons with her or my perception is wrong about what to be spent to keep the home monthly.

I need some monthly home expenditure break down, with this size of family, to help me make the right judgement because the marriage is looking to me like a fundamental mistake exists somewhere.

Please nairalanders I need your opinion, from especially mothers who are in marriage and understand what I'm talking about, because I'm the one paying all the bills. I also pay for all the TV dishes in my her for her to watch telemundo with generator.

Please what do I do. Thank you.

Pls moderators, I'll be glad if this hits the front page I need candid opinions before I run into irreparable mistakes. Thanks.

tforever:
if you ask me I suggest she finds something to do for herself too so that supporting the family can come from both sides. It's better that way.

Floodgater:
Like you said, its personal issue, what you and your wife spend should not be a factor of what others spend. I believe your wife knows how much you earn, hence her demands. The fact still remains that expense will increase with increased income. She can use 100k or less but i think its not bad if you give her 100k(20%) out of 500k monthly because her personal expense and savings is from there, yes that is also what she refers to when she talks about savings abi you give her seperate money for hair, clothes etc. Op, you have not really convinced me your wife is a spend thrift but you have given me a concern to warn you to watch it. You are gradually building resentments for your wife steming basically from her not working so that you are angry when you see her watching tv, buying fuel etc with "your money" to the point of asking if you didnt mistake marrying her. Btw why is she not working? did you open a business for her that she refused? Even if she is a spend thrift, she has other good qualities for which you married her. You look like your background influenced your choice with finance, possibly same with hers, in that case you should complement each other, you can make good savings from the 400k (80%), encourage her to work, focus on her good side too or you want her to only see you as stingy, you have bad sides too.