@Op please quickly get a DNA test of your kids because they might not be yours. A woman that just travelled to her place and started having an affair must be a sex freak and would have been doing it each time your are away for long.


Women and cheating. Its very hard to see a woman that won't cheat at some point in her marriage.

By the way, the foolish MIL should be happy that you welcomed her slutty daughter back because most men would have left her daughter with her.

You owe her nothing and you should be the one seeking for apology from all of them. Do not turn yourself to a pant.

It is well...

Yea

Na she d feed you? NO...... You no get mama ni? Abeg go face ur work and kids.... Ds hoes called lady ain't loyal.

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

I nearly called you an I.diot....am sorry if i did' it's not in my nature

Anger and emotion never help in this type of problem. Just do DNA test on your two kids just to b sure they're yours. If you've forgiven your wife, I wouldn't, then, move on and forget about your mother in law, you're not married to her. Be careful, you may be sharing your bed with a dangerous snake

freecocoa:
I can agree that he jumped into conclusions as to why MIL spoke her dialect but what was left to explain after he'd read the chat and his wife pleading?

ask her what is left to explain o. even the lekki bank armed robbery suspects have their own explanation.

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

what do you expect a cheating woman to explain? Her reasons for cheating or what? Can't you see where he said they've been having affairs atleast for five years. Isn't that enought? Like I said, Op need DNA test immediately. A woman that cheats for FIVE years? That's deadly!

How will I co habit with an adulteress woman. God please I don't want to kill my self. U are such a brave man op.

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

There should be an auto-delete system for a post like this. What is there to explain? He saw what had done the whole explanation and you're here asking for the wife to explain. That the exchange of text showed her affair with the boy he gives money. . .how terribly low could that be? To you, the MIL was right to have addressed her daughter in their language because it was a family thing. . .please, is the young man not part of their family already? You are defending everything wrong o jare.

aflyingbird:
op said chat history / "call " history. so , after he read it he should automatically assume she's cheating ? not that this isn't bad enough ,

she started begging me that she can explain"

she was pleading / begging that she can explain but he didn't let her say anything . i don't know what she wanted to say , op doesn't either , which is another problem itself , aside from him jumping to conclusions

the fact is that there is no explanation to make. she first relented to lend him her phone which means she's hiding something from him. she's lucky to have such husband.

de2oye:
I am a Yoruba man and I got married to an Ebira lady from Kogi state about six years ago. The marriage has been blessed with 2 sons. We lived happily together in the same city while my mother Inlaw lives in another part of the same city, as such we used to visit her together occasionally.

Sometimes last year, my wife told me she want to go and visit her mother Inlaw and I permitted her to go. Accidentally, I had a an unusual call from my office and I decided to branch and join my wife there since my office is just a stone throw from my Inlaw's place. I didn't inform my wife. As I got there, I requested for her phone to enable me make an important call since I've run out of power on mine. She was reluctant to release the phone and I could easily deduced that all is not well. That makes me go further and I to check her chat history. I was amazed and find it difficult that my wife of six years is having an affair with a much younger guy she's older than for at least five years. She started begging me that she can explain, explain what?. I was totally disappointed and confused, I left the place immediately and told her not to even bother coming to my own house again. The funniest thing was that I know this particular guy to be our Neighbour and he used to come to our house and I do give him money at times because he's a student. While all this was going on, the mother Inlaw was not around.

I decided to call her on phone and tell her what happened because the father inlaw was out of the country as at the time of the incidence. The woman pleaded that I should come back and I obliged, the first thing she did that really surprised me was that she started talking to her daughter in their local language known fully well that I don't understand a bit of it and both of them can speak both Yoruba and English fluently. What could she be telling her daughter after I showed her the chat history because I didn't release the phone since that's d only evidence I have against her. I was really angry and rose, I frankly told her that when she's ready to talk to me I will come back, she realized her mistake and refuse to allow me to go. I later left her there and decided to tell the father on phone. He pleaded that I should please allow her back into my house with d kids and I allowed them back only because of the innocent kids and the fact that I respected the man so much. Since then, we 'be never be in good terms again; I mean myself and the mother because she's not happy with the involvement of the father. I decided not to go to their house again except if the father is around.

About 2 months after, the father was around and he tried to settle the whole issue and I decided to let go. To worsen the situation, there was a particular day I went to their house on my way back from office, I was with my mother Inlaw and I asked about one of her relatives who was sick, the answer she gave me was that she didn't know his whereabout which I know she's lying and still keeping the malice. Since then I stopped going there and I have made up my mind not to ever visit her again. Kindly advise, I'm I wrong here?

My candid advice is for you to leave the marriage. She had no respect for you, and judging by her mother I can tell she got the bad influence from her mother.
It mostly never ends well, especially when it has been going on for that long.
To your question. You were obviously not wrong, and the best thing is for you to keep your distance from them.

uncleck:
I nearly called you an I.diot....am sorry if i did' it's not in my nature

Strictly speaking she is right. Call history merely tells I have been communicating with a certain person. It may mean we are talking often but that does not mean I'm screwing the person.

Again if I apologize and say I can explain that remains a blank cheque. A lady can apologize and say I was in constant communication cos of xyz, sorry I should have told you. Still does not mean she is shagging anyone.

PS: I like to give people the benefit of doubt.

Like mother, like daughter. Simple.#DNA things for your two kids, no time. Be a man and do not allow your MIL game plan that you are rude overshadow the issues of infidelity at hand. It is just a strategy to shift attention and make the main issue look less serious and if you are not careful, you will be the person that will apologise to your in-laws and even, buy drinks to settle the matter. Just know your stand.

As for the guy in a relationship with your wife, the student and your wife are under a curse.

Is obvious that the mother is aware of their relationship and they hid it from you. Guy run for your dear life, that woman can easily kill you. Be careful, for me, it is end of discussion. No sentiments.

the mother in-law was very wrong to use their dialect which her son in-law couldn't understand. she should have done that privately when advising the daughter. like mother like daughter. na them, oloshos

Nawaa oooh.. Too much importance attached to inlaws.. Anyway. Its our culture. But Africans need to focus more on their marriages rather than extended families. Even the bible mentioned it.... Its a gud thing you have solved your marital issues.. Dont complicate issues by trying to play nice son inlaw

All man for himself jare, if possible don't even greet her again. make she stay her own lane.

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

Chance to explain how she is cheating or what?

Na wah o

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

no be woman u be,even if ur guy catch u with a dickk inside ur puzy,u wil still said u want to xplain,and who told u that the wife deny it?

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

ur comment is as useless as shit, if truly u are a lady and u are encouraging cheating, then i pity ur marriage, that is if u can ever have a man to marry u, what stupid xplana+ion are u talking abt? did u knw what he saw on he fone? when a lady is caught red handed, the next thing she tells u is 'i can xplain'

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

What was there to explain? Jump to conclusion you said? Have you considered he may have read some chat that actually give credibility to his claim and which you dont expect him to list out here? But then the only way I would have agreed with your assertions was that we have only read one side of the story.

Poster,

I think you should be very careful with your wife. Mothers wield strong influence over their daughters. It appears that your mother-in-law was not happy that you did not allow her sweep the matter under the carpet. It is also apparent her values are not so different from her daughter, otherwise she would have been transparent in her attempt to resolve the matter. Again note, once you offend a mother-in-law who sides with her daughter, be sure that she would forever instigate the daughter against you.
Please stay away from the mother-in-law and watch your back in all matters involving your wife.

You go marry girl from kogi

de2oye:
I am a Yoruba man and I got married to an Ebira lady from Kogi state about six years ago. The marriage has been blessed with 2 sons. We lived happily together in the same city while my mother Inlaw lives in another part of the same city, as such we used to visit her together occasionally.

Sometimes last year, my wife told me she want to go and visit her mother Inlaw and I permitted her to go. Accidentally, I had a an unusual call from my office and I decided to branch and join my wife there since my office is just a stone throw from my Inlaw's place. I didn't inform my wife. As I got there, I requested for her phone to enable me make an important call since I've run out of power on mine. She was reluctant to release the phone and I could easily deduced that all is not well. That makes me go further and I to check her chat history. I was amazed and find it difficult that my wife of six years is having an affair with a much younger guy she's older than for at least five years. She started begging me that she can explain, explain what?. I was totally disappointed and confused, I left the place immediately and told her not to even bother coming to my own house again. The funniest thing was that I know this particular guy to be our Neighbour and he used to come to our house and I do give him money at times because he's a student. While all this was going on, the mother Inlaw was not around.

I decided to call her on phone and tell her what happened because the father inlaw was out of the country as at the time of the incidence. The woman pleaded that I should come back and I obliged, the first thing she did that really surprised me was that she started talking to her daughter in their local language known fully well that I don't understand a bit of it and both of them can speak both Yoruba and English fluently. What could she be telling her daughter after I showed her the chat history because I didn't release the phone since that's d only evidence I have against her. I was really angry and rose, I frankly told her that when she's ready to talk to me I will come back, she realized her mistake and refuse to allow me to go. I later left her there and decided to tell the father on phone. He pleaded that I should please allow her back into my house with d kids and I allowed them back only because of the innocent kids and the fact that I respected the man so much. Since then, we 'be never be in good terms again; I mean myself and the mother because she's not happy with the involvement of the father. I decided not to go to their house again except if the father is around.

About 2 months after, the father was around and he tried to settle the whole issue and I decided to let go. To worsen the situation, there was a particular day I went to their house on my way back from office, I was with my mother Inlaw and I asked about one of her relatives who was sick, the answer she gave me was that she didn't know his whereabout which I know she's lying and still keeping the malice. Since then I stopped going there and I have made up my mind not to ever visit her again. Kindly advise, I'm I wrong here?

I Must Confess, you are a Strong Man, with a Good heart, for you to forgive your wife after what she did to you is commendable.

I can feel your pain in your post, there is so much "heat" in you , you have to take it easy before you get a High BP because of your MIL.

For your MIL to support her daughter through out that period means she is in support of her daughter's actions - Sign of a Bad Mother.

Her subsequent attitude proves her real character.

Move on with your life together with your Family.

Allow the Lord to fight this battle

chibic:
what do you expect a cheating woman to explain? Her reasons for cheating or what? Can't you see where he said they've been having affairs atleast for five years. Isn't that enought? Like I said, Op need DNA test immediately. A woman that cheats for FIVE years? That's deadly!

I even have a cousin that thought he had a 12yrs old boy only to be told that the boy is not his son (DNA result)

The girl you quoted is not clean.

this story sounds like a script from a couple of movies i recently viewed

i won't post the links but they are easy to find online.


Take my wife (Clean version) - Nigerian Nollywood Movie


A Dirty Marriage - - Nigerian Nollywood Movie 2013

stonecoldcafe:


Strictly speaking she is right. Call history merely tells I have been communicating with a certain person. It may mean we are talking often but that does not mean I'm screwing the person.

Again if I apologize and say I can explain that remains a blank cheque. A lady can apologize and say I was in constant communication cos of xyz, sorry I should have told you. Still does not mean she is shagging anyone.

PS: I like to give people the benefit of doubt.

Stop being so ignorant! Read the details again and you'll see chat history, so the guy definitely knows what he is talking about. Chat history especially on phones like Blackberry saves all your chats for a certain time period so there's no explanation.

as someone who has actually been cheated on myself , i will never encourage cheating bc i know how much it hurts . my own experience is proof that i am being fair because of all pple , i should be the one to support the op's refusal to let his wife talk and condemn whatever he "thinks" she has done . the world is upside down bc pple like the op and some of u who agree with his refusal to let his wife speak don't understand the importance of patience when the time calls for it

eazisky:


ur comment is as useless as shit, if truly u are a lady and u are encouraging cheating, then i pity ur marriage, that is if u can ever have a man to marry u, what stupid xplana+ion are u talking abt? did u knw what he saw on he fone? when a lady is caught red handed, the next thing she tells u is 'i can xplain'

Wendy80:
You are not being rude @all. That mother inlaw sef na wa, to think that she treated her daughter cheating with such levity shows the kind of mother she is. Minimise ur visit to her, talk to her only when necessary to avoid friction.
I must commend u for forgiving ur wife, most Men I know won't oh my hubby inclusive.

Me too.

jude33084:


I even have a cousin that thought he had a 12yrs old boy only to be told that the boy is not his son (DNA result)

They girl you quoted is not clean.

he had the son through his wife or girlfriend?

Leave all those dirty women who come here to defend their kind. Once they see a who.rish wife, they'll want to twist it and push the blame to the husband.

Op you have mind oooo. I will never allow that lady into my house again, no matter what. Kpele, People different shaa. As long as that neighbour of yours has tasted her ogbono, he will always taste it even after your forgiving her.

Well, TO HAIR IS HUMAN, TO FORGIVE IS DESIGN