stonecoldcafe:


Strictly speaking she is right. Call history merely tells I have been communicating with a certain person. It may mean we are talking often but that does not mean I'm screwing the person.

Again if I apologize and say I can explain that remains a blank cheque. A lady can apologize and say I was in constant communication cos of xyz, sorry I should have told you. Still does not mean she is shagging anyone.

PS: I like to give people the benefit of doubt.

why are you people intentionally twisting the story? He didn't say call history, he said CHAT HISTORY!!!!...you can see call history but won't know what they discussed but in chat history, you'll see everything they texted to each other. Mind you, people who have been seeing eachother for 5yrs without suspicion will feel free in exchanging explicit texts. And the woman never deleted them cause she wasn't expecting the husband to come there at that time.

de2oye:
I am a Yoruba man and I got married to an Ebira lady from Kogi state about six years ago. The marriage has been blessed with 2 sons. We lived happily together in the same city while my mother Inlaw lives in another part of the same city, as such we used to visit her together occasionally.

Sometimes last year, my wife told me she want to go and visit her mother Inlaw and I permitted her to go. Accidentally, I had a an unusual call from my office and I decided to branch and join my wife there since my office is just a stone throw from my Inlaw's place. I didn't inform my wife. As I got there, I requested for her phone to enable me make an important call since I've run out of power on mine. She was reluctant to release the phone and I could easily deduced that all is not well. That makes me go further and I to check her chat history. I was amazed and find it difficult that my wife of six years is having an affair with a much younger guy she's older than for at least five years. She started begging me that she can explain, explain what?. I was totally disappointed and confused, I left the place immediately and told her not to even bother coming to my own house again. The funniest thing was that I know this particular guy to be our Neighbour and he used to come to our house and I do give him money at times because he's a student. While all this was going on, the mother Inlaw was not around.

I decided to call her on phone and tell her what happened because the father inlaw was out of the country as at the time of the incidence. The woman pleaded that I should come back and I obliged, the first thing she did that really surprised me was that she started talking to her daughter in their local language known fully well that I don't understand a bit of it and both of them can speak both Yoruba and English fluently. What could she be telling her daughter after I showed her the chat history because I didn't release the phone since that's d only evidence I have against her. I was really angry and rose, I frankly told her that when she's ready to talk to me I will come back, she realized her mistake and refuse to allow me to go. I later left her there and decided to tell the father on phone. He pleaded that I should please allow her back into my house with d kids and I allowed them back only because of the innocent kids and the fact that I respected the man so much. Since then, we 'be never be in good terms again; I mean myself and the mother because she's not happy with the involvement of the father. I decided not to go to their house again except if the father is around.

About 2 months after, the father was around and he tried to settle the whole issue and I decided to let go. To worsen the situation, there was a particular day I went to their house on my way back from office, I was with my mother Inlaw and I asked about one of her relatives who was sick, the answer she gave me was that she didn't know his whereabout which I know she's lying and still keeping the malice. Since then I stopped going there and I have made up my mind not to ever visit her again. Kindly advise, I'm I wrong here?

sincerely no hard feelings but @op wat were u tinking to have married from that tribe? am yet to see anyone from them to prove me wrong.

What nonsense! This is why I always like to deal with men on certain issues.

Bros, your mistake was even talking to your MIL about it. If it were me, I won't utter a word until I see her father. Meanwhile she will be in my house until then but under serious excommunication.

Maybe you are from planet Mars b'cos God knows that if I'm you, their daughter would have been assigned a permanent room in their house by now.

I didn't cheat on my wife when we were courting and have never cheated on her since we got married.

So the moment she thinks of it, she should be sure to have a wedding card with the man on standby

hello.
u must know that half of the advice here are craps. some maybe coming from people that cheat as well.
if you are strong enough to forgive ur wife so be it. but you must be very sure she is fully repentant of her act.at times problems from infidelity can come and hunt the innocent person...in this case you.for example she might go and date some dangerous person that can organise to harm you. as for your mother inlaw please ignore her the more you try to pleaese her the more she thinks she is right. concentrate on ur family.

Blackberry girls keep giving their husband and boyfriend heartache since introduction of GSM.You really tried to forgive her i can't do that. As of your motherin law don't bother yourself going to their house when the husband is not around such woman can do on do,expecially after this incident am talking from experience.

aflyingbird:
as someone who has actually been cheated on myself , i will never encourage cheating bc i know how much it hurts . my own experience is proof that i am being fair because of all pple , i should be the one to support the op's refusal to let his wife talk and condemn whatever he "thinks" she has done . the world is upside down bc pple like the op and some of u who agree with his refusal to let his wife speak don't understand the importance of patience when the time calls for it

Baby, i wanted to modify my post to u but i changed my mind, i knew i went to far by insulting u, pls forgive me, i fixed my self into the op's shoes and it was so hurting and that prompted me into insulting u, forgive me, but u knw how cunning ladies cn be, even when caught red handed, they still want to xplain

Some girls opinion here are just pathetic..

Damn!.. bunch of hypocritical comments.

U forgive that harlot
Shame on you.
Let me laugh in kwapampa
You don give am mind
She'll still cheat on you
Roger that alaye mi
Unless you tell her to swear for you with gods of thunder any day/time she try cheat on you again make thunder strike her down.
And if u need shrine to do that contact me here in pakistan lol

de2oye:
I am a Yoruba man and I got married to an Ebira lady from Kogi state about six years ago. The marriage has been blessed with 2 sons. We lived happily together in the same city while my mother Inlaw lives in another part of the same city, as such we used to visit her together occasionally.

Sometimes last year, my wife told me she want to go and visit her mother Inlaw and I permitted her to go. Accidentally, I had a an unusual call from my office and I decided to branch and join my wife there since my office is just a stone throw from my Inlaw's place. I didn't inform my wife. As I got there, I requested for her phone to enable me make an important call since I've run out of power on mine. She was reluctant to release the phone and I could easily deduced that all is not well. That makes me go further and I to check her chat history. I was amazed and find it difficult that my wife of six years is having an affair with a much younger guy she's older than for at least five years. She started begging me that she can explain, explain what?. I was totally disappointed and confused, I left the place immediately and told her not to even bother coming to my own house again. The funniest thing was that I know this particular guy to be our Neighbour and he used to come to our house and I do give him money at times because he's a student. While all this was going on, the mother Inlaw was not around.

I decided to call her on phone and tell her what happened because the father inlaw was out of the country as at the time of the incidence. The woman pleaded that I should come back and I obliged, the first thing she did that really surprised me was that she started talking to her daughter in their local language known fully well that I don't understand a bit of it and both of them can speak both Yoruba and English fluently. What could she be telling her daughter after I showed her the chat history because I didn't release the phone since that's d only evidence I have against her. I was really angry and rose, I frankly told her that when she's ready to talk to me I will come back, she realized her mistake and refuse to allow me to go. I later left her there and decided to tell the father on phone. He pleaded that I should please allow her back into my house with d kids and I allowed them back only because of the innocent kids and the fact that I respected the man so much. Since then, we 'be never be in good terms again; I mean myself and the mother because she's not happy with the involvement of the father. I decided not to go to their house again except if the father is around.

About 2 months after, the father was around and he tried to settle the whole issue and I decided to let go. To worsen the situation, there was a particular day I went to their house on my way back from office, I was with my mother Inlaw and I asked about one of her relatives who was sick, the answer she gave me was that she didn't know his whereabout which I know she's lying and still keeping the malice. Since then I stopped going there and I have made up my mind not to ever visit her again. Kindly advise, I'm I wrong here?

Smh for you.
The last thing I will ever do in this life is to forgive an adulterous woman.
How are you coping?
When having sex with her?
The thought that my wife (that I am spending my life with and on) has recently allowed one boy to fùck and sweat on her??
What da fùck
God forbid

Are u telling me that a guy is bleeping ur wife for five years? Or are u just joking and not sure of what you are saying,may be u just see them chatting romantically?.Hmm,anyway if u are sure that ur fellow man had been sleeping with ur wife for 5 years and u acted d way u did,then truly GMB administration suppose to give u national honor..Summit your name to Seun and let's follow it up.

I cannot take it.Marriage finished and anybody can have the kids.The worst thing is for a married woman to start cheating when she already gotten kids.

oP, YOU BE MUMU.Marriage my asssssssssssss.

Dollyak:

My candid advice is for you to leave the marriage. She had no respect for you, and judging by her mother I can tell she got the bad influence from her mother.
It mostly never ends well, especially when it has been going on for that long.
To your question. You were obviously not wrong, and the best thing is for you to keep your distance from them.

The only frank genuine advice from a good woman here! As for supporters of evil like babyosisi and co whose stock in trade is evil and malicious advice, learn from a real woman here.
@Op the first mistake you made was allowing your wife back to the house. That LovePeddler of a wife should have been sent parking immediately. Then undertake a DNA test on your kids.Take custody of your kids and start looking for a new life. If you have done all this, then the mother in law would have learnt to respect you but since she feels that you are not man enough to take the tough decisions, she can now afford to even bear malice. Listen you are the one that is supposed to bear malice and show your anger. Don't let those witches dominate you. Since you have made the mistake of taking your wife back, pls totally ignore that insolent babyosisi kind of MIL and have your peace. I can assure you though that your adulterous wife will cheat again.

babyosisi:


Is she sleeping with the boy or you just saw chats

She has to be sleeping with the boy for it to be called cheating? ?

REMMEI:
Some girls opinion here are just pathetic..

Damn!.. bunch of hypocritical comments.

i agree, got quite a few revealing their nature like

aflyingbird:
taking to pple in nl is like talking to a damn wall . i actually sent a chat history ( for one particular afternoon last week ) to a friend yesterday and she sent me hers ! these are just call history of the calls we both made that afternoon . chat history / call history is simply that , chat history. it states the day & time calls were made . chat history is on the opposite end of the spectrum from texts bc with the former there is no content. chat/call history does not equal texts. you're saying the contents of the chat confirmed she was cheating, what content ?? pple just like making things up ! op didn't say texts , he said chat history . he himself didn't mention anything about content bc he had none to work with , all he saw was that calls were made to this guy and vice versa , no content !

You're not getting it. He read her chat history means he read their chats maybe on whatsapp or bbm. He definitely wasn't referring to call history.

Wendy80:
You are not being rude @all. That mother inlaw sef na wa, to think that she treated her daughter cheating with such levity shows the kind of mother she is. Minimise ur visit to her, talk to her only when necessary to avoid friction.
I must commend u for forgiving ur wife, most Men I know won't oh my hubby inclusive.

of course be, why should u be keeping a cheat as a wife, it's pretty dangerous you know! , she may some day poison your food I, that's is one of d reasons it us evil for. A wife to go on a cheating spree. One of the reason you forgave and got caught in the Web us because you live close to ur inlaws,bro you beta vampire from their territory, before you get poisoned, So sorry to tell you this, that tribe will not rest until they get another same tribe for marriage o!! ( am speaking from deep and long time experience sir),God bless you for giving her a second chance,but pls relocate and rebuild your home. If she born pikin again pls don't even invite get, your mum should show up, or your wife should have mastered those rearing acts by now.Ebira People na wa, but God go help you,

IdiAmin1:
What nonsense! This is why I always like to deal with men on certain issues.

Bros, your mistake was even talking to your MIL about it. If it were me, I won't utter a word until I see her father. Meanwhile she will be in my house until then but under serious excommunication.

Maybe you are from planet Mars b'cos God knows that if I'm you, their daughter would have been assigned a permanent room in their house by now.

I didn't cheat on my wife when we were courting and have never cheated on her since we got married.

So the moment she thinks of it, she should be sure to have a wedding card with the man on standby

hmmmm, Idi Amin Dada

Good knowledge bros,pls keep good eyes on your wife, fence out your mil,there is likely hood your wife might continue with that nonsense particularly if the guy in question is from her state, it's always like that with few I have had deals with

Phema:
I think you are channeling your energy in the wrong direction. You should be more concerned about your wife's infidelity and whether or not the kids you call yours are truly yours, rather you are here whining about what your MIL thinks of you.

Does your MIL really understand the gravity of the offence her daughter committed? Is she aware her daughter was/is a sugar mummy? I doubt she is, cos if she were, the last thing on her mind will be how rude you are.

Again i say, channel your energy in the right direction. Thank you.

Ralphlauren:


i agree

he must be one in a million

after forgiving their cheating daughter, his MIL still has the audacity to be giving him attitude. SMH !

Na to strangle the MIL to death naa , afterall this kind issue , somebody must die naa

that's sweet. it's cool.

eazisky:


Baby, i wanted to modify my post to u but i changed my mind, i knew i went to far by insulting u, pls forgive me, i fixed my self into the op's shoes and it was so hurting and that prompted me into insulting u, forgive me, but u knw how cunning ladies cn be, even when caught red handed, they still want to xplain

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

He saw the chat and she didn't deny she was cheating . what other explanation is she going to give . my dear there's no excuse for cheating

de2oye:
I am a Yoruba man and I got married to an Ebira lady from Kogi state about six years ago. The marriage has been blessed with 2 sons. We lived happily together in the same city while my mother Inlaw lives in another part of the same city, as such we used to visit her together occasionally.

Sometimes last year, my wife told me she want to go and visit her mother Inlaw and I permitted her to go. Accidentally, I had a an unusual call from my office and I decided to branch and join my wife there since my office is just a stone throw from my Inlaw's place. I didn't inform my wife. As I got there, I requested for her phone to enable me make an important call since I've run out of power on mine. She was reluctant to release the phone and I could easily deduced that all is not well. That makes me go further and I to check her chat history. I was amazed and find it difficult that my wife of six years is having an affair with a much younger guy she's older than for at least five years. She started begging me that she can explain, explain what?. I was totally disappointed and confused, I left the place immediately and told her not to even bother coming to my own house again. The funniest thing was that I know this particular guy to be our Neighbour and he used to come to our house and I do give him money at times because he's a student. While all this was going on, the mother Inlaw was not around.

I decided to call her on phone and tell her what happened because the father inlaw was out of the country as at the time of the incidence. The woman pleaded that I should come back and I obliged, the first thing she did that really surprised me was that she started talking to her daughter in their local language known fully well that I don't understand a bit of it and both of them can speak both Yoruba and English fluently. What could she be telling her daughter after I showed her the chat history because I didn't release the phone since that's d only evidence I have against her. I was really angry and rose, I frankly told her that when she's ready to talk to me I will come back, she realized her mistake and refuse to allow me to go. I later left her there and decided to tell the father on phone. He pleaded that I should please allow her back into my house with d kids and I allowed them back only because of the innocent kids and the fact that I respected the man so much. Since then, we 'be never be in good terms again; I mean myself and the mother because she's not happy with the involvement of the father. I decided not to go to their house again except if the father is around.

About 2 months after, the father was around and he tried to settle the whole issue and I decided to let go. To worsen the situation, there was a particular day I went to their house on my way back from office, I was with my mother Inlaw and I asked about one of her relatives who was sick, the answer she gave me was that she didn't know his whereabout which I know she's lying and still keeping the malice. Since then I stopped going there and I have made up my mind not to ever visit her again. Kindly advise, I'm I wrong here?

Bro...off the record, allowing that woman u call ur wife back into ur house was a mistake... I just had to say that.

And as for ur mother in-law, if she cannot appreciate the fact that you forgave her daughter who is probably her kind,then she doesn't deserve ur respect. You are doing the right thing bro... You are a man,ur business should be with ur father in law. Just continue.

pomporiking:
You go marry girl from kogi

In fact from Kabba, Ebira?? Odijw Very risky o my dear! This one na one chance!!

The moment we start telling our selves the truth, the better for all of us, some one said, he never gave the wife chance to explain,because he is too hasty to jump into conclusions.

*why would she ask for forgiveness in the 1st place if she was not cheating? Haven said this, for every action or anything we don on earth, their is always a reason for such act be it negatively or positively. with that, the wife have absolutely nothing to explain. ( Imagine u walked in on ur bf fuvcking anoda girl, then u shouted,only for him to tell u "baby please I can explain" what is there to explain if not to tell u that it is the devils hands work. It is very obvious the op wouldn't hear such in such situation. ) I know the scenerio aint the same, I just want u to learn smthing from that.



*on the issue of mother in law.
There is no way she could ve supported her daughter for such act. But keeping faces with the SIL is totally wrong and unacceptable.
The way she handled the whole issue made so glaring to the young man of her being nonchalant with the whole thing,
U called ur SIL to make peace, u ignored him and started speaking a dialect he does not understand. what impression is she making? There are certain cases u don't handle with kid gloves.


Mr OP, u are totally right for being very angry with your MIL.(You are human) I don't blame you for any actions u took, the only thing I can tell u now, is to please forgive her,we are all human, and @times we er.



* for people who said that since u can forgive your cheating wife that u can as well forgive her mother, u are all wrong.


*your brother messed up big time, and then u counted on your mum to settle the whole issue, then your mum u tot should be cautioning your brother turned out to be nonchalant.(Will you be happy with her? NO) u cn forgive your brother, but it will take you time to totally forgive your mother for that singular act. Let's forget sentiments here.


If u want to beg someone for forgiveness, 1st of all accept that u are wrong, den u proceed with the begging.

But if u refuse to accept that you are wrong, then he might just forgive u for forgiving sake,and not deep down him.



My point is this, it is better we agree with OP that they are wrong, and then persuade him to forgive them, and not castigating him into forceful acceptance of the forgiveness, that is absolutely wrong. The more u tell him that he is wrong, the more he still looks into the whole thing to see how he is wrong and thus opening old wounds.






So, OP in all honesty and probity, u re not wrong for ur actions, but please forgive them.

andromida:
I don't understand why you are angry, your MIL dos not want you to know about her relatives so what? If you have forgiven your wife and you are at peace with your decision face your immediate family and forget about the MIL anytime your paths cross you simply be polite and kind to her you don't have to be buddies with your MIL.

@de2oye

The MIL is a witch, if he is not careful his wife might end up killing him. A bad wife and a bad MIL are a recipe for disaster, it should be evident to you that the daughter is merely following her mother's footsteps. If I were you I would stop my children from visiting them and BAN the MIL from ever coming to my house again and if she were to refuses, I will arrest her when she comes visiting.

AfroBlue:


i agree, got quite a few revealing their nature like

And these are future wives and mothers..

God SOS..

But why the double standards though? I don't get why some guys here are angry about OP forgiving/taking back his wife, like that's not what's expected of a woman whose hubby cheats.

Make una repent o.

aflyingbird:
that's sweet. it's cool.

Thanks, i'll c u in camera

aflyingbird:
u didn't give ur wife d chance to explain , she said she could explain but u shunned her. u saw her phone n immediately jumped to d conclusion dat she was having an affair, u left her mother's house n told her not to come back into urs .

ur MIL didn't do anything wrong . pple's native language is always going to be their default language , esp when with family members , meaning dat is wat came natural to her . u cud hv nicely asked her to speak english , i'm sure she wud've done dat but again u got up angrily .

ur problem is dat u jump to conclusions too soon without giving pple d chance to explain their side of d story . d same thing u did to ur wife is what u did to ur MIL. u need to learn to be more patient n hear what pple hv to say

Look at you! Trying to defend the indefensible, what else is there to explain? For the husband to have come to the conclusion that she was cheating means he'd seen some incriminating evidence. SMH for you, that's how you know future oloshos, finding a way of twisting issues and making it seem like they're witch-hunted. You need Jesus my dear, Iranu oshi.
PS: do not quote me if you don't want sango to visit you tonight. Tenks

1stola:

Smh for you.
The last thing I will ever do in this life is to forgive an adulterous woman.
How are you coping?
When having sex with her?
The thought that my wife (that I am spending my life with and on) has recently allowed one boy to fùck and sweat on her??
What da fùck
God forbid

Ermmm....but it is okay for you to cheat on your wife, no?

creepsyme:
sincerely no hard feelings but @op wat were u tinking to have married from that tribe? am yet to see anyone from them to prove me wrong.

Sorry, are you serious about this assertion?.. please, tell me your experience..safe a brother please..

Wow the MIL didn't try at all. I really can't support such. For the sake of your kids you have to forgive both.