9niceguy:

No word for you sire

Simply because you don't have any

Black beauty says she has already talked with the OP...Onega's comments are also very instructive...life threatening situations is good enough for her to leave..d man needs to be heard too...it might still be separation and not a divorce yet....i feel for the kids..reason why couples should consider their interest while enjoying the marriage so their anger and reactions will not be as far reaching...as per irresponsible fathers;..that you forgive him when you become an adult don't mean you have forgotten especially when you are a successful person..rather you grow to be a better father or parent because he had lived his own life already, as you could be miserable of you don't free the grudge..you don't have to be close but forgive and help him where you can after all GOD has already blessed you as a successful person..stay happy, life is too short but learn the lessons..women are however more wired for parenting except they intentionally want to be irresponsible.

chibic:
with this type of hatred for your father after more than two decades, your man must be dam.n scared of you. What story will you tell your children? That your father seperated from your mom and your mom took you people away from him, and he never bothered to come see you? Do you even know if your mom lied to you guys? Have you heard his own story? No matter what the sins of my parents are, I can't have much hatred/grudge against any of them for this long. I need to be a rolemodel to my kids and not teach them how to pay their parents back for their sins.

Abeg why not ask for the whole story before you rush to conclusions. He asked my mother to take us with her, that was his wish.my siblings met with him when we were teenagers ( I was in school) and he never denied telling her to take us and he also admitted that he knew where we lived all along and never tried to see us.we lived in a small town so he knew our house and our schools. He was drunk and womanizer who felt that he had better things to use his money for , he got fed up of the responsibility. Basically he told them straight up that he realized he wasn't cut out to be a father. After that day they left contact details for him and he still never bothered to call or look for us. So I should go and bring someone who's said he doesn't want to be a father to my wedding Or I should go kneel I front of his house and beg for him to care Look for ko, look for ni

By the way I have never hated him,he simply doesn't exist since he made his choice. It's not a grudge but simply realizing some people should never have been fathers or mothers and you move on with your life. You guys here always want to same it must have been the woman who hid the kids well in this case he was the one who was too selfish to care.

He actually said he didn't have a problem with my Mum,just wanted to enjoy his life and felt a wife and kids were cramping his style.

Funny enough he had 2 kids outside and did the same to those ones to,abandoned them and never paid a dime towards their care. Just irresponsible and as a good role model to my kids I refuse to have a negative influence around my family

lolababe331e:


Abeg why not ask for the whole story before you rush to conclusions. He asked my mother to take us with her, that was his wish.my siblings met with him when we were teenagers ( I was in school) and he never denied telling her to take us and he also admitted that he knew where we lived all along and never tried to see us.we lived in a small town so he knew our house and our schools. He was drunk and womanizer who felt that he had better things to use his money for , he got fed up of the responsibility. Basically he told them straight up that he realized he wasn't cut out to be a father. After that day they left contact details for him and he still never bothered to call or look for us. So I should go and bring someone who's said he doesn't want to be a father to my wedding Or I should go kneel I front of his house and beg for him to care Look for ko, look for ni

By the way I have never hated him,he simply doesn't exist since he made his choice. It's not a grudge but simply realizing some people should never have been fathers or mothers and you move on with your life. You guys here always want to same it must have been the woman who hid the kids well in this case he was the one who was too selfish to care.

He actually said he didn't have a problem with my Mum,just wanted to enjoy his life and felt a wife and kids were cramping his style.

Funny enough he had 2 kids outside and did the same to those ones to,abandoned them and never paid a dime towards their care. Just irresponsible and as a good role model to my kids I refuse to have a negative influence around my family

Are you new to nairaland. Even when a man abandons his kids it must be the fault if the evil woman I am sure they will look for a new excuse for him now, another evil woman must have jazzed him

lolababe331e:


Abeg why not ask for the whole story before you rush to conclusions. He asked my mother to take us with her, that was his wish.my siblings met with him when we were teenagers ( I was in school) and he never denied telling her to take us and he also admitted that he knew where we lived all along and never tried to see us.we lived in a small town so he knew our house and our schools. He was drunk and womanizer who felt that he had better things to use his money for , he got fed up of the responsibility. Basically he told them straight up that he realized he wasn't cut out to be a father. After that day they left contact details for him and he still never bothered to call or look for us. So I should go and bring someone who's said he doesn't want to be a father to my wedding Or I should go kneel I front of his house and beg for him to care Look for ko, look for ni

By the way I have never hated him,he simply doesn't exist since he made his choice. It's not a grudge but simply realizing some people should never have been fathers or mothers and you move on with your life. You guys here always want to same it must have been the woman who hid the kids well in this case he was the one who was too selfish to care.

He actually said he didn't have a problem with my Mum,just wanted to enjoy his life and felt a wife and kids were cramping his style.

Funny enough he had 2 kids outside and did the same to those ones to,abandoned them and never paid a dime towards their care. Just irresponsible and as a good role model to my kids I refuse to have a negative influence around my family

apologies for the way i went about it. I was misguided by what I witness everyday. Your dad is really something else. Smh.. I wish you goodluck and GOD's blessings in your marriage!!

chibic:
apologies for the way i went about it. I was misguided by what I witness everyday. Your dad is really something else. Smh.. I wish you goodluck and GOD's blessings in your marriage!!

Apology accepted . Thanks and Amen , goodluck to you too

.

.

emeify:


I am not divorced. I had to leave the house just last month because of several issues - abuse inclusive.
We really cant live together again - we have done several counselling but the hate and bitterness has not been resolved

am just seeking an amicable way to share custody of the kids

You can live together again.Jut be positive.

emeify:


Thank you.
We have had serious issues for years and seen counsellors and pastors. The issues are just too deep and reach to the foundation of the marriage.
No, i dont earn more than him and have no problem paying fees etc. My relationship with God has been affected by the resentment in the home. I was been asked to leave and threatened even with death.

I do love my kids. My marriage is legitimate and family on both sides are aware of the issues

Here is an article i wrote sometime ago.

You can be together and grow old together if both of you are willing to work it out.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there, doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they call at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens) and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment just to start that same circle all again and later realize the former partner was way better than the present one and then some people opt out once more to start that same circle all over with another new person and at this point the world starts looking at you as a clueless no good person who can never be happy with anyone.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person, it’s learning to love the person you found.

Did you read that last paragraph?please get this once more;

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person, it’s learning to love the person you found.

Loving someone is not by accident,its not a feeling,its a conscious decision by the people involved to be together and weather the storms together and not looking for an easy way out. The storms of lack,incompatibility childlessness, family scuffle,infidelity,bitterness,and many more.

Until both of you are willing to make it work,only then will GOD come in to make it happen. Because two people can never work together except they agree.

Hope this helps.

emeify:

Thank you.
We have had serious issues for years and seen counsellors and pastors. The issues are just too deep and reach to the foundation of the marriage.
No, i dont earn more than him and have no problem paying fees etc. My relationship with God has been affected by the resentment in the home. I was been asked to leave and threatened even with death.
I do love my kids. My marriage is legitimate and family on both sides are aware of the issues

Marriage as a spiritual union

Many couples fail to understand that the only institution created by GOD himself is marriage and nothing gladdens the heart of Satan than to see that same institution destroyed on earth and this is why he will go all the way to see as many breakups as possible in marriages.

What many couples do not realize is that marriage itself is not a physical union but 100% spiritual but manifesting in the physical and when trouble occurs, it will always seem to be the fault of either the man or the woman when the truth of the matter is that it is purely a spiritual attack that needs spiritual defense.

While i agree that some people in marriages can be very careless and indiscipline, we must understand how to figure out in our inner self if a spouse is acting normally or totally out of the ordinary.

When we start noticing strange changes in a partner who have before that time maintained a proper status quo,it is not the time to start cursing,blaming or fulfill the wish of Satan by heading for divorce but that is the time to fight the battle on your kneels,to pray and fast and depend on the creator of that institution to make repairs rather than please the devil and end up complicating our lives because in most cases,divorce breeds Adultery and fornication,hatred,disorientation for the children as well as carry over resentment which could be a ground for a recurring divorce.

emeify:


I am not divorced. I had to leave the house just last month because of several issues - abuse inclusive.
We really cant live together again - we have done several counselling but the hate and bitterness has not been resolved

am just seeking an amicable way to share custody of the kids

GUARD YOUR MARRIAGE

When i look at the way marriages crash and the sad stories of bizarre happenings in marriages i tend to think deep and wonder.

There are some marital conflicts that look so ordinary and usually explainable yet could be as a result of spell from people within or outside the family especially marriages of African descend.

Trust me, i have heard of strange things leading to marital break-up.

-Marriages destroyed because of argument over N20 toothpaste.

-Man beats his wife to death over very flimsy issue

-A lady after 5years of marriage suddenly starts saying she will walk away at a certain age to start all over without any logical reason after spending 11years with a man and eventually left.

-A man suddenly leaves a wife and children and starts a life with a new lady without any logical reason.

-A man or woman who have been so decent and GODly suddenly starts misbehaving.

I can continue to highlight very absurd happenings in marriages and this has made me conclude that we need to guard our marriages with diligence.

When some crazy things start happening,its not the time to start nagging because that will even make matters worse but it is the time to go on your kneels and call on the creator of that institution to make amends.

We need to pray relentlessly against the devil's hand in our marriage because marriage is not physical but very spiritual and we must treat it as such making sure we always allow the spirit of GOD to take control.

Something to think about

The exciting anticipation that makes breaking up with a partner an interesting act.

Usually when we start a new love affair, we are overwhelmed with passion and lots of expectation especially in the area of exploring the erotic sides of the new person.

As a man,you are excited with the taught of 100% freedom of having a fresh female body in bed with you,the scintillating feeling of handling a new body different from the one you have been so used to and for the lady she starts having a funny taught of how different the touch of the new guy will be,how romantic and different his erotic prowess will be.

Then as times goes on,we tend to get used to each other and then begin to anticipate how it will be with another person and this taught subliminally kick start a possible disintegration.

In my opinion,asides from the lustful aspiration of having sex with a new partner,in most cases.it is a total waste of time and it is out-rightly monotonous to jump from one partner to another because most times after you get down with the new person,you will come to realize that all the excitement you had before sleeping with this new person is only a facade,a flimsy evasive temporary feeling of lust and the reality will bounce back to you that having a fulfilling affair is not just about sex and that it is far better to mend a broken affair that you are already used to rather than painstakingly starting a new one.

Have you heard of these words "Once a divorcee is always a divorcee"

This assertion have been heard by me many times and until recently i had to sit down to decipher the deep rooted message in that sentence.

If you check very well, in every breakup whether in a courtship or marriage, there is usually that party that would say im done while there will be one that would be like "well we can still work it out"

If you meticulously follow the breakup and subsequent relationships these individuals go into after they part ways,you will often realize an interesting trend that the partner who says no room for reconciliation usually end up breaking up the new affair and YES by my research this happens 80% of the time. The reason why this happens is because there will always be a reason to break up no matter how perfect any affair may seem to be and if you were rigid enough to walk out of a previous affair over issues that is reconcilable then there is a great tendency to do it again and again in subsequent affairs hence justifying the assertion that once a divorcee will always be one.

This has made me realize that it is always better to scrutinize the past of any new person we want to start an affair with because when it comes to character, more often than not, humans are like leopards who never change their spots

9niceguy:
#Godhatedivorce
Please seek for solution to the problem that caused the separation instead of creating more problem(s).
My quarter

You are so stupid

Daresh:

You are so stupid

Like your dad

Obynolee:

Simply because you don't have any

Silence is the best answer for a .......

emeify:


Thank you.

How are things now?

F