I asked my hubby what would he be getting his daughter for V-day and his response was: shock then she is not my valentine you are so I dont buy her anything.  He laughed at me for asking.  Then asked me why do i buy my daughter something.

I told him yes.  Every year I always buy my daughter a gift.  It is kinda two fold. 

First she never needs a man to do for her what her mother/father will do for her.  She never has to sell herself short, beg, plead or go crazy about the holiday.  And can always tell the dudes Bleep you, I dont need you forreal.  I think that a v-day gift from the father is far more appropriate but since her dad is not around I am mom and dad.

Second she now has a role model or gauge stick in which to gauge any man next to when she does start dating.

What are your thoughts. Correct attuitde or wrong one.

Expletives aside, yes i think this is a great idea.

My dad always gave me gifts for valentines day, took me out to  restaurants and provided for most of my requests . He did tell me once "that I do all this not because I am spoiling you, but because I want your first experience of this things to be from me and not from some man who will  make you think he is doing something special ".

His words have rung true , I have had wonderful boyfriends and now a great fiancee , but none of them has provided a material thing that my father had not given to me at some point in my life. This has allowed me to build relationships based on friendship and compatible value and goals, and not what my mate can provide.

I will say this , the greatest gifts that my dad gave me are an excellent education and the encouragement to become an  independent woman.

What can I say My Father, My Hero .

Hmm, my husband always says he's going to make it a point to take any future daughter(s) we might have out (for dinners, to museums and such), not to spoil them but so it's not foreign to them and so they don't seek such things from random men. Actually, I think he said some older guy back home in Nigeria told him that and it's something he'd like to do too.

As of now, we don't celebrate Vals, but I have no idea if we'd do it for our kids. We shall see when we reach that bridge.

But sistawoman, what you do seems like an awesome idea to me.

My concern is about your daughter's age and her understanding of valentine.
The gifts are good but she needs to understand the 'why'

My daughter is 9. At this age the why is because I love you and your my valentine.

The reason behind the gift is that you should expect and demand nothing less when the appro. time comes (that is something that will be explained to her as she gets older).


My step daughter is 17. The reason is that we love her and she is our valentine.

Its ok.
But my concern is she(9) may grow into a relationship where the guy does not do valentine gifts and this may create some gaps
she should also be able to understand that val gifts do not completely reflect love
Your enemy can send you Val gifts

But i trust your judgements so long as you can manage her