This brother here is at crossroads and need urgent and matured advice. This ain't my real account just had to create this to sort out this issue I'm having. I'm a graduate. Of one of the top Nigerian federal universities. Until my final year, I never really had a girlfriend not because I ain't good looking or because I'm the bookish and churchish type. On the contrary, I'm your normal everyday guy but due to my age(21) and lack of experience in relationship issues, I stayed off until I met this beautiful and decent girl. Was in my final year and she just finished her secondary education. Fell in love and all such and I had marriage in mind(lol). All through the time we spent together, I abstained from sex with her not because I'm a virgin but because she is and I wanted it to remain so until she decides otherwise. After a few months, I completed my programme and left d town but kept steady contact with her and ensured I rose to all her needs to my ability.

Make we dey cry?

CONTINUATION: @ home, I told d fam and every friend of mine that cares to listen that I've gotten d perfect partner. I could swear she was mine and only mine. (WHEN I WAS WITH HER, WE NORMALLY HAD MANY INTIMATE MOMENTS BUT I ALWAYS REFRAINED FROM SEX WITH HER). Well, few months back, she told me she was ready and I should come take her pride. Got to town and went to see her. I actually collected her phone for collecting sake but due to my inquisitive nature, I stumbled on her chats and actually found out she was cheating on me and even sendin d niggar money(money me manage to send to her from my meagre allowance). Approached her about it and she confessed and ended what she had with the 2nd guy

Forget her age, from what you've told us so far it's obvious she's older than you in experience.

My advice? Ditch her!!!
This is because she sees you as a mumu, you are doing the spending and another sharp guy is doing the servicing. And girls of her age prefer sharp guys to money guys.

CONTD: All these while, she maintained she was a virgin and since I said I was afraid of blood, she said she broke d hymen with her finger and all such. Me believed her and mended d broken relationship. Tried doing it with her but was too tight and couldn't bear to see her in pains so, I gave up. Was just chatting with her this night and she told me the second guy actually broke it after forcing himself on her. She started pleading for forgiveness and all such. Mum has slept and I can't wake her up to ask her opinion. Truth is, I still love this girl but I'm afraid. Can I trust her a third time? Am I wrong? Should I just let go? She's threatening to hurt herself if I leave her. In such events, won't the blame be on me? I'm confused and need matured advice on the next step to take

pls who has a bb charger?

anyway,

brotherly, one word,find ur square root cus its obvious she s manipulating u

mehnn dat girl fit put otapiapia inside your stew o..you were so kind to her but she wasn't paying you in the same coin..even lieing...d girl I am dating now is a confirmed virgin..d worst punishment she can give me is giving her virginity to someone else,if its not me,then it should be her husband in future..me.. I no go forgive her o

MrDrew:
CONTD: All these while, she maintained she was a virgin and since I said I was afraid of blood, she said she broke d hymen with her finger and all such. Me believed her and mended d broken relationship. Tried doing it with her but was too tight and couldn't bear to see her in pains so, I gave up. Was just chatting with her this night and she told me the second guy actually broke it after forcing himself on her. She started pleading for forgiveness and all such. Mum has slept and I can't wake her up to ask her opinion. Truth is, I still love this girl but I'm afraid. Can I trust her a third time? Am I wrong? Should I just let go? She's threatening to hurt herself if I leave her. In such events, won't the blame be on me? I'm confused and need matured advice on the next step to take

Very soon this girl will sell you and collect change

Lol that girl is a gross liar and a cheat,she can never be trusted abeg,she is just toying with ur emotions,I will suggest u still keep a wide open eye on her to knw the next step you will take

onomeglo:
Lol that girl is a gross liar and a cheat,she can never be trusted abeg,she is just toying with ur emotions,I will suggest u still keep a wide open eye on her to knw the next step you will take

After, d initial discovery, we continued our relationship and things were going soo smooth till this night. I know she regretted what she did. D lie tho. And d knowledge that someone else broke it tho she said he didn't go in... Thing is, I still love her but,

ronald4lif:
First off, the other guy didn't force himself on her like she claimed, they both had consensual sex. Secondly, her claim of hurting herself if you leave her is a claptrap and doesn't amount to dogshit. Finally, why would you stop thrusting her just because of the false pain reaction she was putting up. The pain should have wane off the moment she got deflowered. I bet she reacted that way to justify the falsehood that she deflowered herself with her fingers. They might have even had sex more than once.

However, if you claim you love her and you're certain she's no longer with the other guy then you can still ride on with the affair. But be more careful this time.

Don't keep up with the relationship based on the threat/harm she claim to inflict on herself if you quit or out of pity, only continue if you really want it. But be aware that if truly the other guy was the one who deflowered her and is still interested in her then he's got the edge over you. Never an easy task for a woman to forget the man who first popped their cherry.

Thanks bro. This is quite helpful.... Still hurt tho. I gave her my all(tho my all wasn't much)

SWAGGAVILLAGE:
mehnn dat girl fit put otapiapia inside your stew o..you were so kind to her but she wasn't paying you in the same coin..even lieing...d girl I am dating now is a confirmed virgin..d worst punishment she can give me is giving her virginity to someone else,if its not me,then it should be her husband in future..me.. I no go forgive her o

But will u continue with the relationship?

MrDrew:
After, d initial discovery, we continued our relationship and things were going soo smooth till this night. I know she regretted what she did. D lie tho. And d knowledge that someone else broke it tho she said he didn't go in... Thing is, I still love her but,

lol but what?well if u still loves her u can forgive her for that,after all jesus died for our sins and we are still committing everyday lol

onomeglo:
lol but what?well if u still loves her u can forgive her for that,after all jesus died for our sins and we are still committing everyday lol

Is it possible for the hymen to be broken without the guy actually havin sex with her?

MrDrew:
Is it possible for the hymen to be broken without the guy actually havin sex with her?

ofcourse a big yes:the hymen is a very frigile thing,even more frigile than egg self,am a living witness lol

MrDrew:
But will u continue with the relationship?

if I will,it won't b for love but for my selfish interest..

onomeglo:
ofcourse a big yes:the hymen is a very frigile thing,even more frigile than egg self,am a living witness lol

Mmmm. I'm confused o.

SWAGGAVILLAGE:
if I will,it won't b for love but for my selfish interest..

Mmmm. Just can't bear to hurt someone. Me starting to think of going to the seminary and leaving all these girls issues. This one has left a bitter taste in my mouth

Lol! That girl is using the oldest trick in the book. Cry rape when asked about virginity status.

MrDrew:
Mmmm. I'm confused o.

lol u better dnt be

MrDrew:
Mmmm. I'm confused o.

but just be patient and allow time to sail u thru

onomeglo:
lol u better dnt be but just be patient and allow time to sail u thru

And how should I act towards her?

I detest girls claiming what they are not,I.e virgins,such a moronic liars

ronald4lif:
First off, the other guy didn't force himself on her like she claimed, they both had consensual sex. Secondly, her claim of hurting herself if you leave her is a claptrap and doesn't amount to dogshit. Finally, why would you stop thrusting her just because of the false pain reaction she was putting up. The pain should have wane off the moment she got deflowered. I bet she reacted that way to justify the falsehood that she deflowered herself with her fingers. They might have even had sex more than once.

However, if you claim you love her and you're certain she's no longer with the other guy then you can still ride on with the affair. But be more careful this time.

Don't keep up with the relationship based on the threat/harm she claim to inflict on herself if you quit or out of pity, only continue if you really want it. But be aware that if truly the other guy was the one who deflowered her and is still interested in her then he's got the edge over you. Never an easy task for a woman to forget the man who first popped their cherry.

you are right

MrDrew:
And how should I act towards her?

just keep calm and be watching her,bt dnt just withdraw ur self totally frm her,be friendly and observant

I might know this particular girl you are talking about o. I have had a very similar experience before.

MrDrew:
Mmmm. Just can't bear to hurt someone. Me starting to think of going to the seminary and leaving all these girls issues. This one has left a bitter taste in my mouth

bro that's the bad side of relationships,but I must tell you bro,true love comes to those who have been hurt but are not afraid to love again..just be a lil more wiser in your relationship.. good luck

SWAGGAVILLAGE:
bro that's the bad side of relationships,but I must tell you bro,true love comes to those who have been hurt but are not afraid to love again..just be a lil more wiser in your relationship.. good luck

Thanks bro

Dude what more advice do you need? I dont understand.
The moment you found out she was 2 timing you is the moment you should have made up your mind to walk away.
How do people stand liers & cheat?
She had consensual sex with the guy. He didnt force her (Thats the biggest lie girls tell about sex.. Very hilarious)
she told you she broke her virginity with her finger cuz she thought the guy had broken it. Until you tried and it was still painful then the guy broke it properly for her after another try. They are now `fucking steady while you are on your bed wasting your timing thinking about a disloyal girl that is shagging another dude & giving him your money.
Man this thing wont end well for you. I know this cuz it has happened a thousand times. If you go through old threads on Nairaland, you will realize you are not the first to xperience this and wont be the last.
On the flip side, i have been there, done that. Sometimes, it hard to just leave someone you have shared so much with even though it all turned out to be a lie.
Forget all that crap of her saying she will kill herself if you leave.. Lol.. Dont fall for that cheap emotional blackmail.
What i did was make something good out of a bad suitation. I told the babe that all we can be is "friends with benefits". For the next 2 years, i had the best shagging of my life. Its tricky cuz you have to find ways to bury you emotions and stop any form of investment in that relationship cuz it has no future again. So my advice, if you are not stonehearted & you think you might change your mind & start doin lover boy again, dont take that route. Just break it off and move on with your life.
There are plenty other girls out there that will appreciate you better, you probably wont believe cuz your emotions are in tatters right now but get a grip man, dust yourself up & make firm decisions.
Never let emotions cloud your reasoning. The answer is staring at you in the face.
You know what to do Andrew... The choice is all yours.

RiffRaff:
Dude what more advice do you need? I dont understand.
The moment you found out she was 2 timing you is the moment you should have made up your mind to walk away.
How do people stand liers & cheat?
She had consensual sex with the guy. He didnt force her (Thats the biggest lie girls tell about sex.. Very hilarious)
she told you she broke her virginity with her finger cuz she thought the guy had broken it. Until you tried and it was still painful then the guy broke it properly for her after another try. They are now `fucking steady while you are on your bed wasting your timing thinking about a disloyal girl that is shagging another dude & giving him your money.
Man this thing wont end well for you. I know this cuz it has happened a thousand times. If you go through old threads on Nairaland, you will realize you are not the first to xperience this and wont be the last.
On the flip side, i have been there, done that. Sometimes, it hard to just leave someone you have shared so much with even though it all turned out to be a lie.
Forget all that crap of her saying she will kill herself if you leave.. Lol.. Dont fall for that cheap emotional blackmail.
What i did was make something good out of a bad suitation. I told the babe that all we can be is "friends with benefits". For the next 2 years, i had the best shagging of my life. Its tricky cuz you have to find ways to bury you emotions and stop any form of investment in that relationship cuz it has no future again. So my advice, if you are not stonehearted & you think you might change your mind & start doin lover boy again, dont take that route. Just break it off and move on with your life.
There are plenty other girls out there that will appreciate you better, you probably wont believe cuz your emotions are in tatters right now but get a grip man, dust yourself up & make firm decisions.
Never let emotions cloud your reasoning. The answer is staring at you in the face.
You know what to do Andrew... The choice is all yours.

shi* is hard bro

This girl in question knows ur weak and u would belive whatever whatever she tells u, I would advice u find out whatever is reali between she and this guy,perhaps ur the side guy coz for her to be sending him money,she does love him and if reali he was d one who disflowered her forget it,we all know how girls re with who gets der first.

I know there is no advice anyone here would give you that u would take coz it's ur heart involved,just be wise and study this girl more.she has proven to be a liar (it flows smoothly)and a cheat.
love with ur head not ur heart