cococandy:
something being important to you does not mean your worth a human being is tied to it.

Ok, so do you mean marriage is important to women? And should we teach our daughters that marriage is important? I do not want to misunderstand you this time so answer yes or no.

FrancisTony:

Ouch!

Buhari and Obama are the same? preposterous but I won't go further with you.

One more question; If men and women are not equal: Are women beneath men?

a woman is beneath her husband!
an unmarried woman isn't beneath anyone until she marries. every scriptural book on the planet explained this bit in details......

Chillisauce:

Leave the stupidity for us. We love âm like that. .even in his "stupîdity" some of your colleagues here cannot measure up.

who are my colleagues?

Gosh.

Nifemiolu congratulation

All men are the same and a girl screamed; All men are dog, because of her boyfriend promiscuity.

According to Coogar, she's right.
We can see who possess shallow intellectual depth.

coogar:

it won't change the anything.....
the truth is - you & I are not the same. a man is much more superior to a woman......in everything. it's not even close!

Hallelujah @ the bolded!
I for vex if we are the same

FrancisTony:

Make I retire. I have told the moderator to give you one like from me anytime you post .

Ishilove, pls keep giving this guy one like. I don't care what he post. Just like the thing for me.

coogar:


a woman is beneath her husband!
an unmarried woman isn't beneath anyone until she marries. every scriptural book on the planet explained this bit in details......



who are my colleagues?

You want make them ban me so I won't be able to click like again. God pass you

FrancisTony:
All men are the same and a girl screamed; All men are dog, because of her boyfriend promiscuity.

According to Coogar, she's right.
We can see who possess shallow intellectual depth.

you are the one with a single digit intelligence quotient. so you are comparing the behavioural attitude of 2 men from different backgrounds to the biological make up that groups 2 men together as male?

you should hand over your certificates back to the mumu school that trained you. is this your argument? because all men aren't dogs means boy A & boy B are not of the same gender?



i don find market to bully today.

coogar:


a woman is beneath her husband!
an unmarried woman isn't beneath anyone until she marries. every scriptural book on the planet explained this bit in details......

I'm officially done with you.

Men and women are not the same, hence they are not equal.

A woman is beneath a man meaning she's unequal.

Balderdash! If you can't compare the equality of men and women because they are not the same, I don't see why you should compare that one is beneath another.
SIMPLY, say they're not incomparable.

Bible admits that humans are equal.
By the way, i'm a skeptical theist; christian. Contradiction101.
Bye coogar.

FrancisTony:

I'm officially done with you.

Men and women are not the same, hence they are not equal.

A woman is beneath a man meaning she's unequal.

Balderdash! If you can't compare the equality of men and women because they are not the same, I don't see why you should compare that one is beneath another.
SIMPLY, say they're not incomparable.

Bible admits that humans are equal.
By the way, i'm a skeptical theist; christian. Contradiction101.
Bye coogar.

the bible never admitted such....
the bible clearly stated the husband of a woman must rule over her. the New Testament also clearly explained the trade by barter between a man & his wife.

she should surrender herself to him(submission) while he gives her his love. even the trade isn't equal.....so what's your argument? what do you have in common with a woman? do you menstruate?

TooNoisy:


Ok, so do you mean marriage is important to women? And should we teach our daughters that marriage is important? I do not want to misunderstand you this time so answer yes or no.

are you sure?

Yes marriage is important to women.
And it is important to men.

Marriage is important for the good of the society.

Marriage for the wrong reasons is not.
Marriage for the wrong reasons is number one cause of broken homes.

Chillisauce:


Make I retire. I have told the moderator to give you one like from me anytime you post .

Ishilove, pls keep giving this guy one like. I don't care what he post. Just like the thing for me.

Ewuro4:


This is what Nigerians don't get about the "married Feminists".... I honestly see them as a Fraud. Let's say it as it is, Marriage is a sociatal status thing. Every woman desire marriage, the moment he puts a ring on it, your decisions are joint.

A feminist can wake up and travel to kafancha while a married woman can't.

I thought the consensus was that the husband makes the decisions? That's What makes them superior.

@Last paragraph, let's for the sake of This thread say a husband is superior to his wife....

Does a husband wake up and travel to kafancha?

I am assuming that the feminist in your post is single... Does. A sensible single travel from his /her base without notifying anybody? No relatives? No friends?

Does a woman travelling without telling anyone make her equal to a man? Is it a man's inherent characteristics to travel without notifying anybody?

Stillfire:


Let us not feign ignorance here for the love of God. The Nigerian society does not recognize this fallacy of interdependence you talk about. In fact when a woman is married she forfeits her independence to the dictates of her husband and this is NOT culturally, religiously required of the man to reciprocate his independence to the dictates of his wife.

Chivalry is NOT even an African construct. Where we come from women serve men. Men do not pick up our baggage, hold doors. That is an European construct. Chivalry was for gentlemen, and according to Fela the quintessential african, he is not a gentleman, he is an original african. Which bloody nigerian feminist is interested in chivalry that was never our culture?

how ironic?
that one of the most hardworking african feminists forgot to raise her son to be a gentleman.

cococandy:
time will take care of that.
Baby steps at a time.
But there will surely be a feminist revolution in Nigeria. As sure as the sun rises.

I pray so

cococandy:
are you sure?

Yes marriage is important to women.
And it is important to men.

Marriage is important for the good of the society.

Marriage for the wrong reasons is not.
Marriage for the wrong reasons is number one cause of broken homes.

Let it be on record that a nairaland feminist believes marriage is very important to women. How important is marriage to women. Would you say very important?

Ewuro4:

Hmm
I don't see anything wrong with the attitude. Superiority & Inferiority are both subjective terms.
Feminists made the word frivolous and berating.

I respect what you stand for though.

you must be very intelligent!
feminists made the word frivolous. a vice president does not feel inferior. a co-pilot does not feel inferior. why are the 21st century women getting antsy over the word inferior.

feminism is a fraud!
they are selling a lie....talking about how women weren't allowed education or voting rights. men of lower class, coloured men, men who had no lands were all also deprived these rights too.

the draconian laws that existed then did not oppress women alone. the laws oppressed everyone that was not in the upper class echelon. while women in america had no voting rights, women in sierra leone were voting, yes - sierra leone(the same super-sexist africa) allowed women to vote before america did.

TooNoisy:


My question is that do you believe that marriage is interdependence? I am a married woman and I am not independent neither is my husband. We have both forfeited our independence and we are happy to say so. We depend on each other for everything.

Are you married? Does your husband dictate to you? My husband does not and most marriages I know, they are people who are in love - like my luvly parents.

I am not sure Fela was the quintessential african and neither is he mine role model or my husband's role model. My husband does not smoke igbo or walk about in pants. We enjoyed Fela's beats but didnt take him more seriously than that. Alot of Nigerian women I know including myself love Chivalry. Now I am going personal.

Yes I believe in the interdependence ideals of marriage, where an assigned role to each species is NOT seen as less or more important to the other. That interdependence in itself is Feminist. I cannot feign ignorance on the societal, religiously and cultural expectations of a wife to be subservient to the husband. Such cultural expectations is not one of interdependence, but dependency. That itself has placed an hierarchy and places men as superior to females. If males are superior, are you as a woman an inferior species? Because that is clearly what you are telling me.

Fela is apt in my description. He is not a gentleman. A gentlemen is a chivalrous and a courteous man. Maleness is not personified as chivalrous in African culture, he is authoritative and women are to open doors for him instead. For an African woman to be using chivalry as a reason why she does or doesn't believe in feminism is laughable at its best.

Examples of chivalry

1. Opening doors

A guy who takes the time to come around and open the car door for you is a keeper, not to mention a commodity this winter.

With certain states getting up to five inches of snow an hour, do you want to be left standing outside in a blizzard while your date gets nice and toasty in the driver’s seat?

Recognize and appreciate a guy who puts your comfort and well-being first, even if it’s just for a few extra seconds.

2. Saving the last bite of food

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So, when he saves the last bite for you, it’s basically him saying he likes you more than whatever meal is in front of him. Which, for the record, is a lot.

3. Spending time with your family

A guy who shows an interest in your baby photos, coaches your little brother on how to throw a football and compliments your mother’s cooking is a guy who’s in it for the long haul. These are small gestures, but they speak volumes about his intentions.

4. Suffering through a girly movie

When a man volunteers to endure a girly show or movie because he knows you’ll enjoy it, he earns major bonus points. (Even more if he does so without complaining or expecting something in return.)

5. Sending flowers

I’m not talking about the $100 bouquet you get on Valentine’s Day. I’m talking about the grocery store assortment he picked up on a random Tuesday while thinking of you. There’s just something about unexpected flowers that makes a girl smile.

6. Walking on the outside of the sidewalk

The first time someone does this, you will probably be confused. But then you’ll start to question how come other men in your life have never been concerned about positioning themselves in such a way that you’d be protected should curbside tragedy strike.

It’s not a must, but it’s certainly nice to have.

7. Kissing your forehead

Sure, if you’re hoping to date someone and he does this, it can be a dreaded sign of sibling-like affection.

But, if you’re in a long-term relationship and your guy does this, it’s a small gesture that can make you feel adored.

8. Putting your jacket on

Does the above sound African to you?
The African male considers it his duty to provide, the other qualities that is important in the sustenance of the marriage is none of his business.
Chivalry should be left for oyibos to debate whether they want it or not.
That discussion has nothing to do on an african forum.
Unless we can define it in our own African way... a man pounding yam is very chivalrous!

Coogar we have to find another synonym to represent that Word.

The paranoia & katatata wey e dey cause no get part 2.

When you're indeed sure of your capabilities and status.. No yeye word will move you.

That's why we tell them to get a JOB for starters.

Ewuro4:
Coogar we have to find another synonym to represent that Word.

The paranoia & katatata wey e dey cause no get part 2.

When you're indeed sure of your capabilities and status.. No yeye word will move you.

That's why we tell them to get a JOB for starters.

osinbajo should feel ashamed cos he is buhari's deputy(inferior).

coogar:


how ironic?
that one of the most hardworking african feminists forgot to raise her son to be a gentleman.

Again chivalry is the least concern of the African feminist. It does not exist in our environment. I am not interested in you coming out of your car and walking round it for you to open my door. Rotflmao!

coogar:


you must be very intelligent!
feminists made the word frivolous. a vice president does not feel inferior. a co-pilot does not feel inferior. why are the 21st century women getting antsy over the word inferior.

President got there by hardwork.
Pilot got there by hardwork.
Other ones were favoured.

Can that be said of marriage that's gotten by privilege?

Stillfire ... I can boast on behalf of my Westernized but traditional Nigerian husband does;2,3,5,6,7&8 regularly in your Chivary list

Stillfire:


Again chivalry is the least concern of the African feminist. It does not exist in our environment. I am not interested in you coming out of your car and walking round it for you to open my door. Rotflmao!

it does!
so a man going to see his prospective-in laws isn't chivalrous? a man that has to buy a set of st. michael's undies for his mother in law isn't chivalrous?

chivalry clearly exists in africa - the flavour of what we term as romance is the difference. men still make sure jobs that can physically scar women are kept away from them. when men - some of them as young as 15 were being drafted to fight biafra war, where were the women?

that's not chivalry?

VictoriaBee:

President got there by hardwork.
Pilot got there by hardwork.
Other ones were favoured.
Can that be said of marriage that's gotten by privilege?

so you don't think married men must have worked hard to become husbands? do you know the number of hoops nigerian men are made to jump before they can officially own a wife?

•bride price
•traditional wedding
•introduction

that's not all - some families send spies to learn the background of the groom. if there's any strange ailment in his family, the marriage can be annulled.

i can boldly say it's easier to become a president in nigeria than to get married. no presidential candidate is forced to prostrate in the sand to get a bride - men do that on a weekly basis in nigeria.

coogar:


osinbajo should feel ashamed cos he is buhari's deputy(inferior).

Make him a congratulatory cake and write 'inferior' on it... He'll gladly eat the corner piece

To each and his owns.

coogar:


you must be very intelligent!
feminists made the word frivolous. a vice president does not feel inferior. a co-pilot does not feel inferior. why are the 21st century women getting antsy over the word inferior.

feminism is a fraud!
they are selling a lie....talking about how women weren't allowed education or voting rights. men of lower class, coloured men, me who had no lands were all also deprived these rights too.

the draconian laws that existed then did not oppress women alone. the laws oppressed everyone that was not in the upper class echelon. while women in america had no voting rights, women in sierra leone were voting, yes - sierra leone(the same super-sexist africa) allowed women to vote before america did.

Males are inferior to females then. How does that feel?
If we can allude to the superiority of the male gender, so we should be able to allude to the inferiority of the female gender.
I have no qualms with women who see themselves as such, but for the love of God do not use it to define other women.

TooNoisy:


Let it be on record that a nairaland feminist believes marriage is very important to women. How important is marriage to women. Would you say very important?

this smacks of an underhanded effort to ... Do what? I don't even know.

Let me indulge you anyway.

How important is marriage to women?
Very important.
Is it also important to men?
Yes. Very important.
It is important to all of us. But not everyone should be required to get married. And their worth shouldn't be dependent on it.

While I can be fine being single and by myself, I'd very much prefer to share my life with someone who loves me and has my back and I his.
On a social platform, I don't consider marriage important for me to be accorded any form of respect or elevation that I have not earned by my own merit over a single woman.

Let me for a moment believe that you're truly oblivious to the subtle discrimination single women face in certain places because of being single.

Have you ever heard someone say "don't talk to her like that. She's a married woman?" Well I have. The message it gives is that it is ok to belittle the single one there after all her status hasn't been elevated to that of a Mrs.

In Igbo land There's a slang used to mock older single ladies "oto na aka Nne"
Loosely means 'the one nobody married'.
Meaning A woman's ability to get a to man desire and marry her determines her worth. If she doesn't get married, then there must be something less worthy about her.
All it teaches is that her value as a person is validated the moment a man sees her worthy of being "under his roof".

Do you still not understand why marriage must not be held as value placement for women?

Stillfire:


Males are inferior to females then. How does that feel?
If we can allude to the superiority of the male gender, so we should be able to allude to the inferiority of the female gender.
I have no qualms with women who see themselves as such, but for the love of God do not use it to define other women.

if i were female, i would be very happy that the only being i am inferior to is my husband. i mean, what if God made women as spinach.....you would have about 300 living things to see as your superior. you should be grateful that only one man is superior to you.

coogar: so you don't think married men must have worked hard to become husbands? do you know the number of hoops nigerian men are made to jump before they can officially own a wife?

They made it seem so.

•bride price
•traditional wedding
•introduction

The whole sh1t was instituted by traditional men.
No one woman begged for it.
They can stop it, we won't cry.
Infact, women are clamouring for it to stop but men don't want to end it.

that's not all - some families send spies to learn the background of the groom. if there's any strange ailment in his family, the marriage can be annulled.

Sorry, this is old and no longer applied now except in the Village.

i can boldly say it's easier to become a president in nigeria than to get married. no presidential candidate is forced to prostrate in the sand to get a bride - men do that on a weekly basis in nigeria.

I'm not Yoruba.

In my culture, men don't prostrate but shake hands.

Wow! So a feminist should not get married to prove a point, I wonder what you people take feminism to mean.

coogar:


it does!
so a man going to see his prospective-in laws isn't chivalrous? a man that has to buy a set of st. michael's undies for his mother in law isn't chivalrous?

chivalry clearly exists in africa - the flavour of what we term as romance is the difference. men still make sure jobs that can physically scar women are kept away from them. when men - some of them as young as 15 were being drafted to fight biafra war, where were the women?

that's not chivalry?

This is the definition of chivalry

chiv·al·ry
ˈSHivəlrē/Submit
noun
the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.
historical
knights, noblemen, and horsemen collectively.
"I fought against the cream of French chivalry"
the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
courteous behavior, especially that of a man toward women.

The word is not ours. So what you listed are not chivalrous acts. But cultural demands that need to be scraped and as a Feminist its either we both pay brideprice or scrape the system with immediate alacrity. Also, maybe you can start by telling me how African society has helped the 'weak-vesseled' African woman! Maybe I will change my views...

VictoriaBee:

They made it seem so.

who made it seem so?

The whole sh1t was instituted by traditional men. No one woman begged for it.
They can stop it, we won't cry.
Infact, women are clamouring for it to stop but men don't want to end it.

women are the ones benefitting from this illegal trade the most. ask cococandy - she's an ada. in 20 years time, she would go back to her village and become the chief tax officer for any groom that intends to marry in her borough. it's a cycle!

Sorry, this old and no longer applied now except in the Village.

it still applies - background check is still alive & kicking.

I'm not Yoruba.

you see?
this is what yoruba men go through week in week out. his dignity must be laid bare before they can deem him worthy to own a wife. how is that not hardwork?

In my culture, men don't prostrate but shook hands.

i am sure they would rather prostrate than pay for that long list of things to buy for the traditional wedding. prostrating is evil but it's the lesser evil here.