Babymama1:
If I were in the market today for a husband I know that my definition of love will have money at the top and lots of it too
Even if he has no blokoss I don't care, as long as he has lots of cash that I can lay my hands on
I will love him to pieces.

Lol

But isn't that just attraction? It can be a prelude to love, but it isn't love.
And yup I believe our preferences attracts us to suitable mates (natural selection? ) and when we're satisfied with our choice we can get on with the business of giving our heart.

UjSizzle:

They'll learn. We all do eventually.

Yeah I believe in love because there's really nothing else to believe in. When I find a cause greater than this, I'll promptly jump ship.

The love you speak of is agape, right?

standd:


I hereby, wholeheartedly, dedicate the money in my GTB account to you, pls go to the bank and claim it

Tenk you o. My Friday turn-up is hereby going to be epic!

standd:

Truthfully
Life sucks without money

Babymama1:
The recurring thing in this discussion here so far is that love is necessary but love is not a stand alone term.There seems to be ingredients that make up love and it differs from person to person
For instance if raumdeuter is only attracted to girls with DD bustline,isnt it then a fact that his definition of love must include the DD cup and a girl with a B cup will not be included .no be so?
What is love in our human terms?

The word 'love' is ambiguous. So many virtues are embedded in that word. When the grand word 'love' begins to dissipate, then these virtues begins to surface.
Love also has its shortcomings....

BABE3:



Tenk you o. My Friday turn-up is hereby going to be epic!

lol I have just #57 in that account though. Sorry

Babymama1:


Truthfully
Life sucks without money

False
Life sucks without a good, healthy blokooss

UjSizzle:

Lol

But isn't that just attraction? It can be a prelude to love, but it isn't love.
And yup I believe our preferences attracts us to suitable mates (natural selection? ) and when we're satisfied with our choice we can get on with the business of giving our heart.

Lol

Like oshio and his babe

standd:


False
Life sucks without a good, healthy blokooss

When you have kids entering college you will understand.money rocks.

standd:


The love you speak of is agape, right?

Agape, yes.

And the other romantic one (what's it called again?) because I won't be with someone I didn't love with my soul. That's why it's hard for me to accept that a woman should choose a good man and eventually she'll "grow" to love him. Yeah there are people who testify to that, but that shii ain't my thing.

UjSizzle:

Agape, yes.

And the other romantic one (what's it called again?) because I won't be with someone I didn't love with my soul. That's why it's hard for me to accept that a woman should choose a good man and eventually she'll "grow" to love him. Yeah there are people who testify to that, but that shii ain't my thing.

Eros. How do you know these things@the bolded

Babymama1:



When you have kids entering college you will understand.money rocks.

hmmmn, I agree.

Another thought i would like you all to weigh in
What do people mean when they say I don't love him or her anymore
What are they really saying?

standd:


Yes, hmmmn. Two million Bututs for you.

Why not in naira, dollar or pound? Why gambia currency?
Be dat as it may, u have tried. But I hope d naira equivalent of this 2mil bututs is not 20naira?

Class begins 2mao.

It is no compulsion to marry who you love but it is of great importance to love who you marry.

Love is not an emotional feelings or butterfly cring when you see the person. It is a decision to be just, fair, caring faithful to your marital vow to whoever you marry.

Love can sustain a marriage by my definition of it.

However, the emotional love is only a mirage that can hold any union for long. It will fade one day and the lovebirds would become sworn enemies.

Babymama1:
This thread is an offshoot from a conversation somewhere else and I think it deserves it's own full discussion because it's an interesting one
Why do people marry?
What are the various driving forces that makes one want to be married and what factors dictate the person we decide to marry?

I remember some years ago on a forum,a lady argued that sometimes marriages could just be for convenience and it was OK.She made me see a perspective I had never before considered.
For instance ,a woman is getting older,approaching 40 and has a good career going but no suitors and she eventually marries a man one would consider to be well beneath her status,physically and economically.
One might wonder why she would " stoop that low just to marry".
However,considering that the clock is ticking by, she needs a husband ,she finds one who is willing to both be married and also raise his economic status by the marriage,it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing she argued, or would it?
It will be good if love was in the mix but if not and the marriage serves the purpose they both desired,Is it wrong?

What do you all say?

Yes. I strongly believe that true love should be the bedrock of every marriage foundation.

Babymama1:
Another thought i would like you all to weigh in
What do people mean when they say I don't love him or her anymore
What are they really saying?

It means Those characteristics I used to admire in him, he either doesn't have them again or (most likely) I have realized those characteristics arent really very important in the grand scheme of things.

E.g You love someone because he/she is fine, later you marry or move in together and discover he or she is lazy to the bones, and self centered

Even though he/she still has those physical features, I have come to realize there are more important things in life than the initial features I liked in him

Or a girl who loved the village wrestler because he was the strongest man in the village, Later in life upon expose realizes that physical strenght doesnt really count in life unless you want to be a manual labourer

Babymama1:


His love is unconditional says the scriptures.

For God so loved the world he he gave his only son.

While we were yet sinners Christ died

yea I know and that love is constantly there for anyone who's willing to embrace it by repenting and coming to him but sinners who refuse to repent will be cast in hell 'unless' they we repent.

Is the repentance not a condition?
It sounds like a condition to me.


See me theologizing

TV where are you? You're needed here Biko.

standd:


Eros. How do you know these things@the bolded

You just do. I can't think of any suitable explanation.

standd:


We are capable of love when we get all our heart desires in the bargain. You see Dangote's wife/wives will NOT leave him even if he hits their heads on the wall daily, same can not be said about Baba kafayat, the vulcanizer whose wives won't even wash his clothes.
People find love in comfortable places, what we don't have is LOVE, True love.

Dangote that is divorced the third time?

bukatyne:


Dangote that is divorced the third time?

'Dangote' is just an example used in place of wealthy men just as 'Baba kafayat' is for poor men

cococandy:
yea I know and that love is constantly there for anyone who's willing to embrace it by repenting and coming to him but sinners who refuse to repent will be cast in hell 'unless' they we repent.

Is the repentance not a condition?
It sounds like a condition to me.

a big condition, coco. This is to show anyone that unconditional love is impossible. God himself is not capable of loving unconditionally how much more the minions he created.

If his love was unconditional, everyone will go to heaven, since we're all created by him.

However, we have to accept and worship him and his son before we can be worthy of his love/heaven.

Condemning your kids to eternal hell is not love, talkless of conditional or unconditional.

UjSizzle:

You just do. I can't think of any suitable explanation.

I know what you mean, when you find this person, you may likely end up as best friends

I think the movies confused us all about what love is. For some reason it has been made out to be a rush of endorphins. When you see someone and you are drawn to them, especially that kind of attraction that typically works out in kissing and getting friendly physically, then you're in love. Otherwise you're not. I personally think that's a fraud. It's part reason men don't bother as much with marriage now as they once did. Too many women to feel that way about.


Convenience? I think that's mercenary. But then some really good things start out in the worst ways sometimes, so....


What I believe about marriage is that it's about two people who either share or are willing to share a common ultimate goal in life. The whole endorphin rush actually is consequential in nature. I know for certain that it happens that people go from totally unattracted to sexually inseparable simply because some kinds of bonds are formed. So if two people are willing to consider having each other's back through life I'm certain that everything else will follow. That commitment to sharing destiny is what love is. It is the stuff that boils over into all manner of beautiful things.

Babymama1:
Another thought i would like you all to weigh in
What do people mean when they say I don't love him or her anymore
What are they really saying?

The effect of the love-hormone has worn off, now I can see clearly.

standd:


'Dangote' is just an example used in place of wealthy men just as 'Baba kafayat' is for poor men

Ok

Ok, Ihedinobi2 is here Great

snakebeat:

Why not in naira, dollar or pound? Why gambia currency?
Be dat as it may, u have tried. But I hope d naira equivalent of this 2mil bututs is not 20naira?

Class begins 2mao.

Gimme your phone number and the last 4 digits of your ATM Card number, so I can transfer your 2million Bututs through GT-transfer..fast

@babe3 yea.

But that said, You may agree with me that conditional love is not a negative thing like some people might want to see it. Without conditions, love would be subject to abuse. It would be taken for granted by those who are receiving it.

I'd say those are the ways in which we are like God.(for those who believe in him)
He hates wickedness, and so unless you're ready to not be wicked, you're not eligible to be in his kingdom.

Same as for me a human. I love you yes. But if you're going to abuse me and stuff like that, you're not eligible to be in my life. My love is still there and when you're ready to drop that behavior that keeps getting in the way, we will be together.

But until then, bye.

standd:
Ok, Ihedinobi2 is here Great

Were you looking for me, standd?

ihedinobi2:


Were you looking for me, standd?

Not really, but I know 'love' is your forte too

cococandy:
@babe3 yea.

But that said, You may agree with me that conditional love is not a negative thing like some people might want to see it. Without conditions, love would be subject to abuse. It would be taken for granted by those who are receiving it.

I'd say those are the ways in which we are like God.(for those who believe in him)
He hates wickedness, and so unless you're ready to not be wicked, you're not eligible to be in his kingdom.

Same as for me a human. I love you yes. But if you're going to abuse me and stuff like that, you're not eligible to be in my life. My love is still there and when you're ready to drop that behavior that keeps getting in the way, we will be together.

But until then, bye.

I agree, it's not negative.