cococandy:


You might thinks it's funny but that's the mentality behind child labor in the name of housegirlism that's rampant in Nigeria.

Some women believe they are protecting their marriage by not hiring mature ladies who could 'seduce' their husbands.
So they go for children.

So there is no argument for instances of temptation. So the woman should not exercise wisdom. Of course the act is the full responsibility of the man but the woman has to bear the consequences. That is why we wear seat belts even though we drive carefully. That is why we watch over our children though we bring them up properly. That's why pilots run a check list every flight no matter how experienced they are simply because in life there are no guarantees. If a home is run carelessly it can be hit with scandals.

Reference:


So there is no argument for instances of temptation. So the woman should not exercise wisdom. Of course the act is the full responsibility of the man but the woman has to bear the consequences. That is why we wear seat belts even though we drive carefully. That is why we watch over our children though we bring them up properly. That's why pilots run a check list every flight no matter how experienced they are simply because in life there are no guarantees. If a home is run carelessly it can be hit with scandals.

so it is easier to encourage child labor than encourage self control in full grown adult human beings huh?

Would you also not hire a male worker to run some domestic stuff in your home if you really need to just because your wife could be tempted?

Seun, Where's the "rolls eye" emoji?

While everyone is busy bitching on Nairaland about maid or no maid, I have woken up to fetch enough water to use for the day. My wife is still in bed!

I told her No! When she brought up maid issue when we were courting years ago. As such, I cannot leave house chores all to her so she can collapse under the strain.

I blame both man and wife! They are both selfish!

Man no wan help around the house, woman no wan cope, go separate one konjiful fifteen year old from her "hardworking" bf for Villa come unleash am for her husband head!

Abi you think say de girls na saint? Most of them deliberately dance around the house in short shorts and braless in worn T-shirts! After masturbating for weeks, they are ready for oga's "long thing"! Even dreaming of it! Bringing in almost any teenage girl as maid is a recipe for disaster!

Me I no want am sha. I dey happily pay de price.

cococandy:

Exactly.

Just as the man is to blame if his wife sleeps with their male help, gateman or driver.
How dare he employ a full bodied man in the house to do the heavy lifting and manly stuff when it could be a temptation to his wife?

This is exactly the mentality most women have. And it has always been their shortcomings in marriages. To bring in male as house help is far better to getting the female as one. A male house help knows if he tries any nonsense with boss's wife, he will heavily pay for it. Propably, by being sentenced to prison. He knows he's a personal nongrata. And for this reason ,he will want to always comport himself in any situation.

However, on the other hand, a female as house help has no such feelings. Since it's the king of the family(husband) that suggested "the bleeping tingy" , she won't give it a second thought. She knows for sure that even if the aftermath is for her to get pregnated by madam's husband. That will make her madam's equivalent. I know she too prays for good fortune. She wants to be like madame.
My advice is this for the married ladies. Don't encourage female house maid in your house. If you must get a house help, let it be the male. And don't always believe you have equal right with you husband. It's an insane believe and it is so dangerous. It can ruin you and your entire life. The man can still always start a new life with another woman. If everything goes wrong. And finally. To all women: Males are created to be sexually attracted to females than females to their opposites. It's a normal thing. It's not wrong. Stop saying anything under the skirt, play your role as a wife in bed. Be creative with your romantic acts with him. Because that what you need to keep him to you even with the presence of the temptatious and devilish female house maid...

Aminat508:
This long standing anomaly of men sleeping with house helps even in most times ending up the woman leaving her matrimonial for the maid....who gets blame?
does the wife takes a greater blame by leaving the house maid to run everything in the house...even attending to the man's needs

while she plays madam sitting doing nothing nd forgetting her wifely duties

What sort of daft quoestion is this?
So because a woman brings a maid to the house, the man should let his duck go uncontrolled?
Is this silly question being asked by a woman?
Which daft moderator took this silliness to the front page?
So did the same Man sleep with his office cleaner, his female boss, his sisters at home and his mother?
I am a man and I am sick and tired of hearing women being blamed for men's infidelity. Men and women cheat because they can and they want. Stop victimizing women for men's choice. Same way a woman who cheats does not do it because the husband is incapable of satisfying her.
Enough of this illogical crap.

drehdinho:


This is exactly the mentality most women have. And it's always being their undoing in marriages. To bring in male as house help is far better to getting a female as one. A male house help knows if he tries any nonsense with boss's wife, he will heavily pay for it. Propably, by going to jail. Because nobody knows him. And for this reason ,he will want to comport himself.

However, on the other hand, a female as house help has no such feelings. Since it's the king of the family that suggested "the bleeping tingy" , she won't give it a second thought. She knows that even if the aftermath is for her to get pregnated by madam's husband, she would become madam's equivalent. So here is my advise for the married ladies. Don't encourage female house maid into your house. If you must get a house help, let it be a male. And don't always believe you have equal right with you husband. It's an insane believe and it can be dangerous. It can ruine you and your entire life. The man can still always start a new life with another woman. A word they say is enough for the wise.

Kindly disappear with your misogynistic and sexist view.
Men like you make me ashamed of manhood.
If you want to cheat, go ahead and do it because you want to and have an opportunity to.
Stop finding sexist reasons to guilt-trip your wife.

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Jeezuzpick:
While everyone is busy bitching on Nairaland about maid or no maid, I have woken up to fetch enough water to use for the day. My wife is still in bed!

I told her No! When she brought up maid issue when we were courting years ago. As such, I cannot leave house chores all to her so she can collapse under the strain.

I blame both man and wife! They are both selfish!

Man no wan help around the house, woman no wan cope, go separate one konjiful fifteen year old from her "hardworking" bf for Villa come unleash am for her husband head!

Abi you think say de girls na saint? Most of them deliberately dance around the house in short shorts and braless in worn T-shirts! After masturbating for weeks, they are ready for oga's "long thing"! Even dreaming of it! Bringing in almost any teenage girl as maid is a recipe for disaster!

Me I no want am sha. I dey happily pay de price.

So if you office post you come kaduna for 3 months job rotation and I house you as a good friend, my sixteen years old maid is not safe? The konji holding you will put the young girl at risk? Thanks for informing me.

vislabraye:


In all fairness, you can't blame the woman for hiring a househelp. She just can't do all the domestic chores especially when she has children and a career.
But where I will blame the woman is if she naive enough to employ a matured sexy woman .
But the man should take the responsibility of being faithful.

@bolded. that's why you should blame the woman

@bold. Na so.

Those men raising their gateman's or driver's kids without knowing nko? The fact is anyone can cheat with an employee under them and in that case, the blame belongs to them fair and square.
No need trying to justify or rationalize.

The rest of your post is delusional at best.
And you're typing this from under a cave or what?
The woman can't start her life again if the marriage with the man ends? Really?
Her life will end too?

Phew.

drehdinho:


This is exactly the mentality most women have. And it's always being their undoing in marriages. To bring in male as house help is far better to getting a female as one. A male house help knows if he tries any nonsense with boss's wife, he will heavily pay for it. Propably, by going to jail. Because nobody knows him. And for this reason ,he will want to comport himself.

However, on the other hand, a female as house help has no such feelings. Since it's the king of the family that suggested "the bleeping tingy" , she won't give it a second thought. She knows that even if the aftermath is for her to get pregnated by madam's husband, she would become madam's equivalent. So here is my advise for the married ladies. Don't encourage female house maid into your house. If you must get a house help, let it be a male. And don't always believe you have equal right with you husband. It's an insane believe and it can be dangerous. It can ruine you and your entire life. The man can still always start a new life with another woman. A word they say is enough for the wise.

Aminat508:
This long standing anomaly of men sleeping with house helps even in most times ending up the woman leaving her matrimonial for the maid....who gets blame?
does the wife takes a greater blame by leaving the house maid to run everything in the house...even attending to the man's needs

while she plays madam sitting doing nothing nd forgetting her wifely duties

Is it an ANOMALY?
All men sleep with housemaids
I don't blame anybody
It's just the nature of men to bleep everything female
They love to experiment
It's the nature of women to want to taste what their fellow woman is "eating"
As for the Madam,well well..except she is daft,once you have a female in your house who is not related to your husband by blood,Of course she should know the man must bleep her.
Blame Nature!

mbulela:


So if you office post you come kaduna for 3 months job rotation and I house you as a good friend, my sixteen years old maid is not safe? The konji holding you will put the young girl at risk? Thanks for informing me.

If my office posts me, they will house me. Besides, read my post well. I made a case of the maids themselves being already sexually active and a disaster in the making. Perhaps you don't believe a sex starved teenage maid is not far-fetched.

cococandy:
@bold. Na so.

Those men raising their gateman's or driver's kids without knowing nko? The fact is anyone can cheat with an employee under them and in that case, the blame belongs to them fair and square.
No need trying to justify or rationalize.

Yes anyone can cheat but there has to be some sort of attraction at most times to enable the temptation come into fruition.

It's very easy to avoid temptation but plain stupid and unrealistic to expect temptation to be fought!

ArchEnemy:

1. He is not disciplined
2. He does not fear God and his marriage vows
3. He will ruin his home

The second point has covered for all the other points. He does not fear God and thus lack wisdom; for the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. If he fear God he will be discipline and also respect his marital vow, when he has wisdom he will know his action will end up ruining his home.

jaybee3:

Yes anyone can cheat but there has to be some sort of attraction at most times to enable the temptation come into fruition.

It's very easy to avoid temptation but plain stupid and unrealistic to expect temptation to be fought!

@bold. Of course.
@ the rest, how does one totally avoid temptation? To me that's not possible. That's where fighting it comes in.
If they can't control themselves around an employee of the opposite sex will they also not work with the opposite sex?
Ever?

First I am not in support in a man sleeping with female house maid.

On a second note, the house maid is a female as the wife. However, there are boundaries. Most men unknowingly get attracted to the female house maid, when the house maid does everything his married wife is suppose to do.

What is the difference between a man who sleep with the house maid, mistress,escort ?

cococandy:

@bold. Of course.
@ the rest, how does one totally avoid temptation? To me that's not possible. That's where fighting it comes in.
If they can't control themselves around an employee of the opposite sex will they also not work with the opposite sex?
Ever?

It's impossible to totally mitigate againts possible avenues of temptations in marriages since the individuals are expected to have some sort of self control and respect.

Having said that, you also shouldn't actively ignore factors that can indirectly allow temptation to grow wings.

You don't go hiring maids with bodies like beyonce or tyson beckford and not expect some sort of temptation

jaybee3:

It's impossible to totally mitigate againts possible avenues of temptations in marriages since the individuals are expected to have some sort of self control and respect.

Having said that, you also shouldn't actively ignore factors that can indirectly allow temptation to grow wings.

You don't go hiring maids with bodies like beyonce or tyson beckford and not expect some sort of temptation

And some men will not fall for that Beyonce or Kim K's Body, not because they don't find her attractive, but because they are disciplined and will rather go out instead of sleeping with someone under their wife's nostrils.


So what if the maid falls in love with the man and decides to poison madam and her children so she can take over the home completely....

I will blame the man. if he needs to cheat on his wife, it shouldn't be with her maid.

[quote author=Adufetohposh post=34812796][/quote]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zP_10bDxaVo

jaybee3:

It's impossible to totally mitigate againts possible avenues of temptations in marriages since the individuals are expected to have some sort of self control and respect.

Having said that, you also shouldn't actively ignore factors that can indirectly allow temptation to grow wings.

You don't go hiring maids with bodies like beyonce or tyson beckford and not expect some sort of temptation

while that may be true, it still doesn't make sense to blame the one person for the other's betrayal.

At least some accepting responsibility for one's mistakes would be nice.

cococandy:
@bold. Na so.

Those men raising their gateman's or driver's kids without knowing nko? The fact is anyone can cheat with an employee under them and in that case, the blame belongs to them fair and square.
No need trying to justify or rationalize.

The rest of your post is delusional at best.
And you're typing this from under a cave or what?
The woman can't start her life again if the marriage with the man ends? Really?
Her life will end too?

Phew.

True ideas sometimes can be perceived as delusional. One of the reasons we have this kind of forum is for everyone to learn. And mind you, I have to say what I have got to say, not because I want to impress anyone or something ,but because that's the way I view things. Indeed ,I have learnt a lot from others here. Becuase I am ready to. Frankly speaking, it's not right to abuse others when you make coments. You used vulgar words on me.
Had it been you had a deep thought on the point I made earlier. And try to be objective .You are likely going to observe some elements of sensibility in it. Which may even be what you need at present...

cococandy:
while that may be true, it still doesn't make sense to blame the one person for the other's betrayal.

At least some accepting responsibility for one's mistakes would be nice.

Accepting responsibility should be the bare minimum but you can't look at it from holistic view point in marriages. Success and failure in a marriage is a joint responsibility and should be treated as such.

If a marriage fails then both party involved must have failed.

If a child turns out bad then both parents failed

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Adufetohposh:
And some men will not fall for that Beyonce or Kim K's Body, not because they don't find her attractive, but because they are disciplined and will rather go out instead of sleeping with someone under their wife's nostrils.


So what if the maid falls in love with the man and decides to poison madam and her children so she can take over the home completely....

I will blame the man. if he needs to cheat on his wife, it shouldn't be with her maid.

You obviously would never understand why people cheat.

Here is a clue, most people cheat because there is the feeling that they can get away with it prudue to the false sense of assurance that they would never be caught.

It also doesn't help that the society (especially African) sort of accepts it to be the norm thus having no sort of repercussion that would otherwise have served as some sort of deterrent to would be cheaters.

So you know, some of the most powerful men in history have fallen for their maids. Case in point, the gorvenator Arnold

A wise man would have learnt and mastered the art of self-control. He should as a matter of exigency devise a means of manoeuvring his way out when cornered by temptations of such.

It is downright silly for a married woman to employ a lady who is voluptuous as a house help.

A house help job should have code of ethics. Wise helps memorise this off-heart and run away should the devil come to them.

Op,

Who to blame isn't what I can state from this end accurately. It should depend on the particular scenario under review.

But I'm sure that in all cases the Man and the House help deserve measures of blame.

As for the woman, a scenario must be put under review in other to ascertain her culpability.

jaybee3:


You obviously would never understand why people cheat.

Here is a clue, most people cheat because there is the feeling that they can get away with it prudue to the false sense of assurance that they would never be caught.

It also doesn't help that the society (especially African) sort of accepts it to be the norm thus having no sort of repercussion that would otherwise have served as some sort of deterrent to would be cheaters.

So you know, some of the most powerful men in history have fallen for their maids. Case in point, the gorvenator Arnold

they only cheat coz it a norm,and because they can go away with it,that is ridiculous.......does been faithful hurt.

The day my wife will stoop so low to allow the maid to be making my food and serve me the food, dressing our bedroom, that when I will also stoop so low to convert the maid to my mistress. So if she can cook and serve me food what else.

INTROVERT:



It's just in you men's blood to put your thing in any thing that wears skirt.

Men most times initiate such adulterous relationships and even when its the maid that does the man still has the power to refuse and sack the byatchh.

Even if your wife for any reason can't satisfy you it's still your duty to understand her and teach her and work with not chasing your maid in the kitchen

lame and dumb . Thank you try again.

agarawu23:
@bolded. that's why you should blame the woman

Please do not blame the woman if you are a dog.

ogele:
The day my wife will stoop so low to allow the maid to be making my food and serve me the food, dressing our bedroom, that when I will also stoop so low to convert the maid to my mistress. So if she can cook and serve me food what else.

Ah! See this one o. It's you that will lose your home na. Besides, who knows if madam will not already have been knacking your driver or mai guard.