IamforGod:


Id!oot!!! So becos a girl is. Not a Virgin she should open her leg to every tom d!ck. And harry

Think before talking and consider d female folks in ur family cos am sure some of dem are worse than. Prostitutes dem be. Oshio free

Abeg help me tell d poor boy o wey I believe get sisters too.. Some ppl sha

my house syndrome!

April07:


The second point..
I couldn't agree more.
Most guys behave so good that you carry your self and be going to 'their' house and you go and get raped and you can't do nothing about it.
I got to counsel some young ladies who fell victim of the above, the shame and guilt they carry around is enough to break any male!
This is the case for so many young ladies.

Coincidentally this just happened to a friend of mine and she is totally scared and confused as to what to do right now.. I dunno how to help her..

cococandy:
If I haven't read multiple situations where a lady was raped and was also blamed for agreeing to go to the guy's house in the first place, I'd believe those who say they have no ulterior motives when they invite you to their house.

Most of them do because somehow they believe agreeing to visit them in the privacy of their homes is an implicit agreement to having intimate relations. Don't be deceived.

Just go if you're into the dude and want to do it with him. Otherwise, na yourself is to blame if you believe his 'professed' innocence. You will be also blamed for believing him. Even those who told you not to stereotype will join in blaming you.
That's how twisted it is.
It's a lose-lose situation.

Come to my place or follow me to hotel, which is better ? Lol.
It's possible his place is homely and cool. You guys could wqtch TV together or look at his album.
There are several things you two can enjoy in his house. It all depends.
I won't tell a girl, come to my house on the first date. In fact, some of them even ask where do you sty ? How can you be friends with a guy and not know where he stays.
What I've also observed is that, if you invite a lady to your house, she might refuse. But if you are mobile and pick her up and drive her to your place, she'll feel special.

na wa ooo... why are we so offended?

Is it not because Nigerian ladies developed the 'take me out syndrome' that their male counterpart developed the 'come to my house syndrome'?
ladies are still being wooed, if you are not, check, you belong to the 'take me out' group and 'come to my house' men are your lot.

ps:
...but on second thought, as tough and frustrating as life is in Nigeria, lady still dey expect man to dey woo woo her?

i believe all ladies get wooed just that the wooing may not be/last as long as your fantasy Mills & Boons novel described, take heart, it wasn't a Nigerian that authored it, so the case study used may not apply to the Nigerian psyche.

Nigeria ladies should not expect to be wooed too much so that it won't turn to woe.

you fail to highlight the main problem. Nigerian girls dont understand the meaning of a date. going on a date must not necessarily be expensive but 9ja girls dont know this. Also you invite a girl on a date and she shows with 2 of her friends. for heaven sake.. is it a date or get together. when you consider all these, you understand its not really about the nigerian men but also the ladies. i still go on dates but i make it clear to the lady before hand that its just for two of us and no third party.

swagloverss:
It was intended to be a simple PM on my BBM but the number of furious replies I got indicated that I had to expand my reach. The said PM was – “Naija men with come to my house, come to my house.” Is there seriously no young man who can advise his fellow men on dating etiquettes? Help us plssssss”

I sincerely felt that I was alone in this predicament till I started getting pings from people who were even more angry about it than I was. And then I realized that this is a general epidemic.

Now, I had different responses from people and I will attempt to put those responses into consideration and not be too streamlined with my views.

Most of the males who responded to my PM agreed with the fact that their brothers are not representing the male folks as well as they should in this area but one of the men made a case for our culture being the reason for this predicament.

According to him, Nigerians do not see the home as a private place and can invite just about anyone into their home. He also talked about the mentality that has been deeply ingrained in us – some men just don’t think that going on dates is necessary, or rather, “we can meet up at my house, there’s no need to go through all that white culture ish” (paraphrased)

As much as I understand where he was coming from and I agree with him that the Nigerian mentality has a lot to bear with this situation. I also think that there are two reasons why the “come to my house issue” is so rampant today.

(1) Some men just don’t think that it’s necessary to go through all that stress in wooing a lady anymore.

A friend of mine actually said that chivalry is dead in response to my PM but I am a positive person, so I refuse to believe that there is no single man on this earth who knows how to take a woman on a date and win her heart slowly – no, there must surely be such men left on earth. (yes, I am rooting for the male folks)

Some Nigerian men just believe that all that “taking a woman to a lovely restaurant and stuff” is for “oyibo people“. I mean, you will be surprised at the number of educated men who would invite you to their house at first meeting.

The man who inspired my PM is a lecturer. Another man who contributed to my cry for help studied law as a first degree. He is involved in media and publicity for a while, and is a called pastor… so you can go figure out the thing about education being a way to raise up people with a modern outlook on things.

(2) 80 % of the men who invite ladies to come to their house at first meeting have no good intentions at heart.

Now, I have to be very careful with how I say this, because I understand like my male friend stated above: that for some men, inviting a lady to their house at first meeting just doesn’t mean anything to them.

They weren’t raised with the mentality that the home is a private place. So even if they just met a lady they are interested in, they can hang out at their house as a first date – with no ulterior motive involved on their part. So yes, I agree that those kind of men exist.

We don’t need to go deep down into stories do we? Or maybe we do. Listen carefully and you will hear stories from the lady who has true stories to tell on how she had to fend off SERIOUS sexual advances just because she believed a man who said he had no ulterior motive for inviting her to his house.

Some of our female friends won’t open up to us but some ladies have been raped because of the “come to my house syndrome”. They cower in shame and guilt, berating their selves that they should have known better than to go to his house. And the society doesn’t make it easy on them too.

Most people would say things like – “Why did you go to his house? That’s a sign that you wanted the sexual act to happen” So the victims keep quiet and bottle up the hurt and shame inside.

What about the guy that tells you to just come into his house while he dresses up so you both can go out and then, under the guise of that excuse starts drawing close for a kiss?

So the “come to my house syndrome” is a serious one. Aside from the serious underlying issues of ladies who have had sad stories of sexual assault and rape to tell, it also begs for a total overhauling of the way some Nigerian men view wooing a lady – an overhauling of faulty dating mentalities.

If the woman was to be a street lady, we might pardon you, but no, you see a decent lady with her worth shining through and you just don’t want to put in an effort into treating her like the jewel that she is.

What would it take for you to take the natural order of the way things should be in cultivating a relationship with her?
Would a time out at a restaurant be too much to ask? It doesn’t even have to be a classy restaurant – just a neutral place where you both can talk that’s not your house.

So I plead again, don’t we have young mighty men of valor who can advise their fellow men on dating etiquettes? Men who can organize classes and teach their fellow men these things – if it comes to that.

Or maybe I should be pleading with our churches too. Almost every church organizes programmes for ladies on how to be virtuous women, how to behave themselves while on a date, etc. Can’t such programmes be held for men too? Women aren’t the only ones who need to be groomed, men need to be groomed too.

So gentlemen, I sincerely still believe that there are a lot of you who are getting it right in the area of what I just talked about.
Please teach your fellow men about these things, we will be absolutely grateful to you all.

Signed,
The community of ladies who are tired of the “come to my house syndrome”

SOURCE

milliondollas:
The community of ladies who are tired of the “come to my
house syndrome” Are u all virgins ? I asked because you are asking for respect due to virgin girls only, 99% of girls are prostitute who date old men for money, nonsense

pardon my rude speech.
I hope that 99% also includes your sisters. nieces. aunties. fiancée. wife..
do not throw stones if you leave in a glass house.
99% indeed

noblegrex:
I've. Never seen pretenders like women in this country Nigeria. I hate all this ish about men this men that, men men men is this writer saying women are holy or what.I believe my guys in the house will agree with me that its difficult to violet a virgin.I guess u understand n we men r no fools. ladies should search their lives n knw their own flows, all they want is money n nowadays 4 u to c a good or d so called decent lady,:hmm u go sweat.

and this so called decent girl will turn d gentle guy to a topic. That he's a mugu,domy, fool,mumu that he keeps spending that he's not a smart guy that I am smart n start laughing o girl go sit down guys too don wise up. Na una cause am although some guys r animals just like dog bt ladies always think they r smart n that's where d problem starts.

milliondollas:
The community of ladies who are tired of the “come to my
house syndrome” Are u all virgins ? I asked because you are asking for respect due to virgin girls only, 99% of girls are prostitute who date old men for money, nonsense

You dey mind these yeye trollops? One can't cast pearls before swines.

Viciyus:


YOU OF ALL PEOPLE.

I CHOOSE NOT TO SPEAK ENGLISH, AND I AM NOT A ENGLISH FREAK.


WETI I DO YOU!

LEAVE ME ALONE JORR

I am also not an English freak however it is no excuse for poor mastery of the language. Also, given the fact that you are an Ode that abuses others for no particular reason, I expect you to focus on yourself instead of trolling up and down like a headless chicken

lose lose situation
better still do the Romance via social media
*runs away*

Ever since the talk of gender equity, many woman have gone crazy identifying the faults of men.
They forget that they also have their own roles to play, I remember a particular girl that I've been inviting over but kept posting me then a day I least expect she is at my place, eating like she doesn't have food in her house, throwing herself at me even going as far a showing me her bra clad b**bs.
To cut the long story short, tz not advice able to go to a guys place on a first date and when d guys takes you out eat like you're the one paying the bills.
#YOLO

Timbuktou:
Nigerian women are becoming sick jokes en masse. What exactly is the point of going on a date with a bunch of women who have decided to feast to their hearts' content at the expense of their male companion? What exactly is a date meant to achieve in the scheme of things? You want to go to an impressive restaurant to 'assess' whether the guy is good enough for your time, at his expense.
No, my brothers would rather cut to the chase and if you're not coming to his place, it's on to the next one. There's really not much sense in wooing today's Nigerian woman. It. Is. All. About. The. Money. We now live in an era of 'no romance without finance'. Why should I woo you when all you're after is the money? You can swerve if you want to eat at Barcelos.

Secondly, whether there's a date or you've been invited to his house at first invite, there's no good intentions. He wants to lay you. Stop acting like a trip to a posh restaurant will suddenly wipe out sexual fantasies about you. Or maybe you're saying it's only ok to have those sexual fantasies after you've been wined and dined?


In conclusion, the 'come to my house dynamic' is mostly a move to economise the expenditure of time and other resources considering the margin of success/lack of.

Thank you o!

chindi:

Wud u give same advice to ur sisters

I will give it to your sisters.Stop pretending,If he invite you to his house to come and collect 50k or iPhone 6 won't you honour his invitation?Don't lie.

I tried telling a guy in my neighbourhood that it is bad habit to bring a lady he just met to his house on a first date, i believe you know what he told me, that i'm a jonsing man. I laughed at him in silence.

April07:


See eh.. When there's chemistry, the "come to my house" will not even be necessary..
Dude you just met the lady! She's even still trying to know you, to trust you.
And the most sensible place to chill is 'your house' ?!?!

Knowing a lady better!?!?.
Well.. Since you've so known her well.. Why don't you let her 'know' you too?
Whatever happened to sitting under a tree and talking *pensive*



The OP started somewhere that

So.. If you're looking for an opportunistic date then...

Scrap all these rant April, COME TO MY HOUSE, need to show u something u wud mos def like.

Don't keep big deddy waiting now


@ op, two things r involved when i boy invites u over to em crib, u mentioned one but left out the other:

1) Short circuit d thingy n get down to brass track...this u mentioned.

2) the second reason is that guys know women luv soft enviromns, so he invites her over to show off d posh crib........ Hv u seen where a guy whose crib isnt toushed invites any gurl over? Nah!
He shows off his crib to make her fall easily......
It has been proven that If she can feel at home, soft tones filtering @ da background, temperature well regulated, a lil food n wine, things she never PLANNED FOR CAN ALWAYS HAPPEN! it has been happening...

Aftermath statements: did we just do that? Can't bliv we just did that, What just happened?
While she is saying all this, guy, go to d rest room, those Q's r rhetoric. 5 mins later, he be digging it again!

Ladies, Ladies!


Or shld I mention d ones that says they'd luv a more comfortable place? Signaling ur crib?

Op leave matter

I don't invite ladies to my house. Never...Ever. I had rather meet up in public places and I don't visit a ladies house either.That is a No...No. In that way no pressure from both sides.
If we need and agree to play fight in principle which has to be well defined and evidence based ....then we had rather arrange a night away or weekend away guest house or hotel as part of the fun. And they seem to like it that way. Thinking it's a special treat not knowing am protecting my privacy from unwanted invasion all in the name of visiting me impromptu.

angieberry:
From what I can deduce from the comments, most Nigerian men are douche bags, and of course a lot of them are broke ass negroes and are hiding under the excuse that Nigerian girls are too greedy to take out on proper dates. Lame much.

sis same applies to the ladies....lotsa. Dem are hungry and inconsiderate bit.ches hiding under the excuse that Nigerian men have lost their chivalry......

angieberry:
Did you read the post at all or do you simply lack understanding skills? Where was anything about virginity mentioned in the post? And how many girls have you come into contact with to make you come to such an absurd conclusion? Please do not derail this post.

. Hey shutt up, he made a good point, and speak for yourself,in dis part of the world there is nothing like chivalry, girls this days are so hard to pity well most of them.. prostitutes everywhere.... I sooo wish not to have a girl as child.

Timbuktou:
Nigerian women are becoming sick jokes en masse. What exactly is the point of going on a date with a bunch of women who have decided to feast to their hearts' content at the expense of their male companion? What exactly is a date meant to achieve in the scheme of things? You want to go to an impressive restaurant to 'assess' whether the guy is good enough for your time, at his expense.
No, my brothers would rather cut to the chase and if you're not coming to his place, it's on to the next one. There's really not much sense in wooing today's Nigerian woman. It. Is. All. About. The. Money. We now live in an era of 'no romance without finance'. Why should I woo you when all you're after is the money? You can swerve if you want to eat at Barcelos.

Secondly, whether there's a date or you've been invited to his house at first invite, there's no good intentions. He wants to lay you. Stop acting like a trip to a posh restaurant will suddenly wipe out sexual fantasies about you. Or maybe you're saying it's only ok to have those sexual fantasies after you've been wined and dined?


In conclusion, the 'come to my house dynamic' is mostly a move to economise the expenditure of time and other resources considering the margin of success/lack of.

Good. I endorse this.

otunsman:
I will give it to your sisters.Stop pretending,If he invite you to his house to come and collect 50k or iPhone 6 won't you honour his invitation?Don't lie.

You are a hypocrite...
Jst answer my question with a Yes or No... Shikena

NOTED: NOTE GONNA BE "COME TO MY HOUSE" AGAIN, FROM NOW IT'S GONNA BE "COME TO OUR WEBSITE" SHMM!!!

Viciyus:


MONKEY


SEE WHO DEY TALK ABOUT ENGLISH.

YOUR OWN WORST PASS MY OWN, ODE WHO DEY ABUSE PEOPLE UP AND AND DOWN IF NO BE YOU.

Ode!

You wish!

If you ladies want to eat with your own money you will go to a buka and spend less than #200 on a plate of food.But when a guy want to take you on a date you prefer he takes you to a five star restaurant where a plate of meal is sold for #2,500.Can you spend such amount of money from your purse?Be sincere.

I'm so happy abt dis post. LET'S face it, 99 percent of guys who just meet u and say "COME TO MY HOUSE" want SEX.
Wen I hav barely known a guy and he says dat crap to me , there's dis way I look at him.... U knw? Like he s very senseless....jeeeeeeeez! So annoying!
Som wld even go as far as sayin u shld travel down to c dem.. And in dia eyes its Okay.
Later they wee say girls like to "K","K" and "K" wen chatting.Wat els do guys like dat deserve if not "K" ? and mayb a slap to go wit it sef..

Maybe when "Nigerian girls" learn to pay their own bills on a date then Nigerian Men will stop the "come to my house" syndrome.

Imagine takin a lady out oh... She go come day order like say na Bill Gates she day wit.
She go chop like crocodile and still take away home sef.
There is no weird stories way i never here finish about Nigerian babes...
Just last week, i read here about a guy that invited a girl on a date. She came with 3 of her friends.

OP.. I dont blame the guys who say come to my house oh.
I love inviting babes over to my house. When i do, i have no ulterior motive.

I have the most recent movies on my laptop with my sorround sound speakers, it feels just like going to the movies.
I put so much effort into making the perfect and delicious home cooked meal...
So essentially, a date in my house is more friendly to my pocket.

I no go make the mistake of taking a NIGERIAN girl i dont know too well to a classy resturant way she go run me bankrupt, while i smile like a mumu.

I am sure plenty guys have stories to share about their date in Hell wit a NIGERIAN GIRL.

*** Try inviting a Nigerian Girl to a Park, Garden or a date that looks like it wont cost u money... See if she will take u seriously...

***Guys dont fall for their trap. If she is not coming to your house, make sure she is paying her bills whereva she suggest u go.

***Stay away from Nigerian girls, most of them have toxic mentality.

ArabianPrince:
I don't invite ladies to my house. Never...Ever. I had rather meet up in public places and I don't visit a ladies house either.That is a No...No. In that way no pressure from both sides.
If we need and agree to play fight in principle which has to be well defined and evidence based ....then we had rather arrange a night away or weekend away guest house or hotel as part of the fun. And they seem to like it that way. Thinking it's a special treat not knowing am protecting my privacy from unwanted invasion all in the name of visiting me impromptu.

Some of them even steal in their date houses.One guy narrated how a lady stole a gold chain in his friend's house.She hid it inside her bag but was later caught.It's not even advisable to invite a girl home.