Good day. my name is Lisa. i need some advice please. I am tired of thinking and analyzing, my head wants to burst with thinking.
Pls b patient and read till the end.


I got married about 2years ago. I am happily married with a kid. I got married to the love of my life after searching for so many years. My husband wasn't working when we got married and still isn't working. I was working then but lost my job last year. Things have been really rough for us.

Ok, the problem is I cant seem to get over the hitches on our wedding day. Our wedding was very small due to the fact that he wasn't working. His family really didn't support him financially,so most of the bills was footed by me and my family.

To cut the long story short, we had a very small wedding and I am kind of feeling bad because I always dreamed of a very nice wedding for myself. I didn't want a society wedding mind you,but at least something nice and semi-elaborate

The wedding day came ,bright an sunny, long awaited.The hitches which I cant seem to get over and which is eating me up and making me so miserable are:

1.  My husband fell ill some days to our wedding. As a result,he was on malaria drugs on that day,and as such wasn't his usual jovial self

2. The guy to make my hair also fell ill days to my wedding and put off his phone. I called and called on the wedding morning all to no avail. When he finally showed up,it was late and some few hours to the time to go to church and as such,he did a rubbish job ,because he was weak and kept on resting at intervals. I was in a hurry to meet up with the time in the church and couldn't do anything about it. I hated my hair. When I look at my wedding pictures, its all i see. In fact,I avoid looking at my wedding pixs or video

3. I couldn't afford  a lavish and expensive gown ,I had to borrow a gown from my friend who got married a little before me (we are the same size) for a token fee of 10k. As.As such, I couldn't shop for gown myself. what I have always dreamed off.

4.  The DJ didn't play the entrance song we asked for to dance into the hall and as such, we didn't dance well. In fact, he didn't play most of our selected songs. He sent someone else instead of coming himself

5. My husband was tired and feeling weak from the malaria and  didn't really dance as we planned. He is a very good dancer. I danced alone most of the time. (very painful)

6. The decorator didn't do a very good job. Used ugly old rug and substandard materials.(sobs). We couldn't afford a very expensive decorator

7. The hall was small( we had to use the church hall to cut cost) and very hot. No AC,only fans

8. The journey to Ghana ,for our honeymoon was stressful. Immigration kept on stopping us at intervals( we went by road to cut cost)

9. We did our honeymoon in a relative's house. Although we had our privacy and driver at our disposal. But I would have preferred a very nice hotel.





I have tried to psyche myself that the important thing is that I am married to the man i love,but I CANT SEEM TO STOP THINKING ABOUT MY WEDDING DAY and all these hitches . I wish I can turn back the hands of time, I will change so many things. I wish I can have a RE-DO of my wedding day,if that is possible.

Please advice me. I am tired of how I am feeling. I need to get it out of my mind.?Am I being paranoid?my husband has put it behind him,but I cant seem to stop. I have tried and tried


This feeling I have is even made more painful because someone very close to me is getting married soon and her husband to be has money.Both of them are working in a good company and the guy's parents are rich.  In fact,they are planning a very elaborate ceremony. Mind you, I am not jealous or envious, just feeling low and I cant help comparing. Am I a bad person? She has been through a lot emotionally in terms of failed relationships, and I am very happy for her. I just wished mine was also elaborate.


please help me. because I think I am allowing this thoughts to eat me up too much.


LISA
.

ehya

u are beri badt woman.
for ur envy gluttony, i hereby sentence u to 4weeks in ur husbands house.

Every girl has a dream wedding she always looks foward to. Its sad yours didn't happen as you planned. Some girls have their dream weddings but their marriage is far from good. You should concentrate on making your marriage work rather than crying over spilled milk. Let your friend have her dream wedding and be genuinely happy for her. Pray for your husband to get a good job. Meanwhile, be happy and grateful for where you are. Make your marriage shine. Best of luck

i can understand your feelings but one thing you should understand is all fingers are not equal, wedding is not all about the ceremony but how happy both of you are in your home, its just unfortunate that you both are not working, if not, you wont be feeling this way, just pray and believe God for a good job and everything will be fine, please encourage your husband,with that both of you will excel..stop thinking of the past and focus on the future, it will be well.

Pls go get a job wen u re finacially stable u can celebrate your wedding anniversary

It's in d past now. Will advice u work more on ur marriage cos dat is d most imp tin. Wedding is Jst 4 a day,buh marriage is til death do u part. Learn 2 appreciate ur selves. I pray God provide a gud n beta job 4 u n hubby. It's well

I think u should discuss it with your husband and tell him everything without holding anything back. When you guys talk about it enough, it'll make u laugh instead of making u sad. Make jokes about it and all that. With time, u'll learn to accept it.

Aside d fact that there was no money for an elaborate weddin, i think u also started planning late but d deed is already done. You can discuss with your husband for u guys to have a fanciful 5th wedding anniversary and start saving now. Then you can have enough time to plan out that one perfectly. Nice make-up, nice hairdo and a lovely white dress. It doesnt have to be elaborate. At least that will make up for wat u feel is lost.
Also, dont forget to pray and ask God for good health.
Good luck to u and enjoy ur marriage

U guyz can alwaiz av an elaborate wedding anniversary...

Y do pple rush into marriage sef?

Hello all. trust you all are doing great. Thanks so much for the advice and words of encouragement. I feel a lot better already. God bless you all.

Mhizizzy:
U guyz can alwaiz av an elaborate wedding anniversary...
Y do pple rush into marriage sef?

@ Mhizizzy, we didn't rush into marriage oh. I and my hubby have been friends a long time,over 5 years even before we started dating oh. So, our decision to get married wasn't rushed

veegirl:
I think u should discuss it with your husband and tell him everything without holding anything back. When you guys talk about it enough, it'll make u laugh instead of making u sad. Make jokes about it and all that. With time, u'll learn to accept it.
Aside d fact that there was no money for an elaborate weddin, i think u also started planning late but d deed is already done. You can discuss with your husband for u guys to have a fanciful 5th wedding anniversary and start saving now. Then you can have enough time to plan out that one perfectly. Nice make-up, nice hairdo and a lovely white dress. It doesnt have to be elaborate. At least that will make up for wat u feel is lost.
Also, dont forget to pray and ask God for good health.
Good luck to u and enjoy ur marriage

@ veegirl, yeah ,we have talked and prayed about it. Thank u so much. as for planning late, we didn't plan late oh, we started planning four months to ,which I think was enough, little did we know that our vendors or contractors, or whatever I may call them would disappoint us. These people were used too by some friends and family and they did a good job, I don't know why they decided to mess us up, especially the guy that did my hair and the one that did our decoration, Anyway, its all water under the bridge now. Like you and others advised,we will focus on our wedding anniversary now and our marriage.

once,more, thanks a bunches you all and take care of you