soulpatrol:

@ mohawkchic. my sista, na true talk. i'm close in age as you (if your profile is correct ), and i believe that as long as you aint hurting nobody, why not have fun, no matter your age. i hate it when some guys are so into their comfort zone and can't just do something surprising. me i lose interest fast because i'm a fun loving person, and i no fit allow another person to drag me down with them laziness. so guys, open up, be adventurous and spontaneous. it keeps the relationship fresh and exciting. so holla at Soulpatrol if you need tips on how to be so.

and i presume it is all a guy's duty to provide spontaneity in a relationship if not the girl "is out the door"? What then is the girl's role? Just sitting ane waiting?

i was talking from my own perspective. i am a spontaneous person, but i come across a lot of guys that aren't so i'm just encouraging it. it should of course be reciprocal. ladies should do the same

soulpatrol:

i was talking from my own perspective. i am a spontaneous person, but i come across a lot of guys that aren't so i'm just encouraging it. it should of course be reciprocal. ladies should do the same

In other words,you want men to be like you

is that a bad thing??

soulpatrol:

is that a bad thing??

A woman wanting men to behave like her? That's up to you

soulpatrol:

@ mohawkchic i'm close in age as you (if your profile is correct )

~Yeah its correct last time i checked  ,am hittin the BIG 3-0 next month!!!

davidylan:

and i presume it is all a guy's duty to provide spontaneity in a relationship if not the girl "is out the door"? What then is the girl's role? Just sitting ane waiting?

~I think its great when a couple make it a priority in their relationship to be spontaneous,i don't think it can be based on  who should be doin the  initiatin  that matters,as long as the interest is there to to do it then its all good for me i actaully love the look of surprise on hubbys face when i indulge in any form of excitement
just knowin that indivisuality exists in the relationship makes it work for us anyways

soulpatrol:

i was talking from my own perspective. i am a spontaneous person, but i come across a lot of guys that aren't so i'm just encouraging it. it should of course be reciprocal. ladies should do the same

fair enough. If your guy is not spontaneous enough teach him! Many girls are quick to lampoon boys who complain about women who cant cook or clean or like sex. Every rushes to yell "if you love her teach her".
What is good for the goose is good for the gander, if your guy is someone that likes routine, either try to be spontaneous urself or prod him once in a while until he gets to ur level!

@ mohawkchic. yay, girl! happy birthday in advance. never felt better being in the late twenties!

@4play. i was trying to say that it would be nice if both partners tried to do something fresh and exciting once in a while to keep the relationship alive. i'm not saying anyone should be like me. just that its not fair when one person it trying so hard and the other is not putting in any effort. and it should go both ways in this case, because i know some girls can be equally lazy and expect the guy to do all the work.

soulpatrol:

@4play. i was trying to say that it would be nice if both partners tried to do something fresh and exciting once in a while to keep the relationship alive. i'm not saying anyone should be like me. just that its not fair when one person it trying so hard and the other is not putting in any effort. and it should go both ways in this case, because i know some girls can be equally lazy and expect the guy to do all the work.

I understand your point.I just thought its too trivial and vague and is one of those female complaints that seek to make men more like them.

I understand it better now

mohawkchic:

~Deceit
~No compromise
~Been over possessive
~Egoism
~Lack of spontaneity~routines bore me to death

Probably the most objective post so far!
Lies can be anything from a white lie to a lack of recollection on certain matters  
Compromise n spontaneity of course works both ways

yup. its gotta be both ways. i do realize that a lot of girls expect guys to be the ones to come up with fresh ideas everytime, but c'mon girls, thats why you have a brain. so this really isn't all about attacking guys, but should be a lesson for girls as well. so, pls o, help the brothers small too

still, we hate liars, cheaters, and cheapskates!

soulpatrol:

still, we hate liars, cheaters, and cheapskates!

I can't stand cheapskates either

so this really isn't all about attacking guys, but should be a lesson for girls as well. so, please o, help the brothers small too

[/quote]


~ you know what they say the best form of defense is attack,LMAO


I can't stand cheapskates either [quote]

~Now that is just goin to let the guys kick off sayin all we're after is material things ,who isnt anyways *hi5* there's nuffin wrong in wantin the finer things in life

@mohawkchic - wutz yo thoughts on a 50/50 relationship?

[

IBDat:

I can't stand cheapskates either

This is a good quality for a marriage material if it doesn't involve going without the necessities.
A man who knows how to hold on to the last dollar is a keeper.
May not make a great date but for a marriage relationship,you will never lack.
Those play boys,spraying doillars would leave you bankrupt and on the streets.

~Hmm IBDat,am down with it,rollin w/it,in this day and age,its a feel good factor knowin the responsiblities are shared,takes the pressure of who rules the roost kinda thing wud you like to share yours?

babyosisi:

[[/b]
This is a good quality for a marriage material if it doesn't invole going without the necessities.
A man who knows how to hold on to the last dollar is a keeper.
May not make a great date but for a marriage relationship,you will never lack.
Those play boys,spraying doillars would leave you bankrupt and on the streets.

Don't deceive yoslf, someone who generally goes through life never reaching 4 their wallet/purse n buying things they wouldn't be caught dead in for others might just carry those same qualities into a marriage. There are men out there that hardly leave anything for their wives and kids, but are seen out with friends on most nghts.

IBDat:

Don't deceive yoslf, someone who generally goes through life never reaching 4 their wallet/purse n buying things they wouldn't be caught dead in for others might just carry those same qualities into a marriage. There are men out there that hardly leave anything for their wives and kids, but are seen out with friends on most nghts.

no need for strong language,you gave your opinion,I gave mine.

mohawkchic:

~Hmm IBDat,am down with it,rollin w/it,in this day and age,its a feel good factor knowin the responsiblities are shared,takes the pressure of who rules the roost kind of thing would you like to share yours?

Wut my ROOST? Nah as the saying goes the man is the head of the family.

As i do appreciate the so-called 50/50 relationships, i will say that i am not totally convinced that in practise that is the case as one person (usually the male <financially> - from my perception) is always contributing more than the other.

@babyosisi - i take it u agree then.

IBDat:

@babyosisi - i take it u agree then.

sometimes being a "cheapskate" is a good thing,I'll rather be with a man that has a full bank account and drives a corolla than one that drives a mercedes that's living from paycheck to paycheck.

babyosisi:

sometimes being a "cheapskate" is a good thing,I'll rather be with a man that has a full bank account and drives a corolla than one that drives a mercedes that's living from paycheck to paycheck.

Aight i hear that. But if the same man was managing a banger because he didn't want to spend his money on a new car, what is the point of having a full bank account if you refuse to spend the money (assuming the morgage was paid for, children's schooling etc and has some change left), it's not like he can take it with him when he dies.

~Interestin debate ,am still waitin on your views IBDat @ 50/50 relationship

IBDat:

Aight i hear that. But if the same man was managing a banger because he didn't want to spend his money on a new car, what is the point of having a full bank account if you refuse to spend the money (assuming the morgage was paid for, children's schooling etc and has some change left), it's not like he can take it with him when he dies.

There is such a thing as retirement and some would go into it not wanting their kids to take care of them then and the time to save for it is when you're younger and able.
^{I wonder how many have their mortgages paid for?}

mohawkchic:

~Interestin debate ,am still waitin on your views IBDat @ 50/50 relationship

As per my previous post, i'm all for 50/50 relationships after all this is the 21st century and women are more career minded, empowered and men are more willing to share the decision making and life choices. But i am yet to see a true 50/50 relationship as one partner usually contributes more than the other in one aspect or the other.

babyosisi:

There is such a thing as retirement and some would go into it not wanting their kids to take care of them then and the time to save for it is when you're younger and able. ^{I wonder how many have their mortgages paid for?}

You do indeed make a valid point and i totally agree with you. My reason for being so adamant is for the sole reason that i spent some years with my uncle n aunt with their kids. This man was in his mid 40s and drove a volvo (same one for 18yrs), he had paid up his mortgage early as he and my father were in business together and it was very profitable, and his kids were at Uni. The man hardly left any money for his wife and kids at home but yet was out and about socialising and playing the big important man about town. Unfortunately he died a few years later due to a bloodclot complication. He had over 500k in his UK bank account and over 2mill in his Nigeria account - how do you think his kids and wife reacted to this and arranged for his funeral? I'll spare you the sad details - but his tight fistness just gave the wrong people wrong impressions of him and the people that really matter ended up detesting him.

But i am yet to see a true 50/50 relationship as one partner usually contributes more than the other in one aspect or the other.[quote][/quote]

~I guess in these cases,one partner will have to be makin more money than the other,and somehow i dont suppose there can ever be that direct line cut in the middle!!

~With some men there's always that ego of been the provider and wantin to do just that lilttle bit more, while some women might be comfortable with that,there are also cases where the woman earns more than the man,in all the cases am aware of,this has always been a problem,especially among africans,and honestly,i just dont get it!!!

IBDat:

You do indeed make a valid point and i totally agree with you. My reason for being so adamant is for the sole reason that i spent some years with my uncle n aunt with their kids. This man was in his mid 40s and drove a volvo (same one for 18yrs), he had paid up his mortgage early as he and my father were in business together and it was very profitable, and his kids were at Uni. The man hardly left any money for his wife and kids at home but yet was out and about socialising and playing the big important man about town. Unfortunately he died a few years later due to a bloodclot complication. He had over 500k in his UK bank account and over 2mill in his Nigeria account - how do you think his kids and wife reacted to this and arranged for his funeral? I'll spare you the sad details - but his tight fistness just gave the wrong people wrong impressions of him and the people that really matter ended up detesting him.

This is the reason why I don't buy the "professional housewife career".
Any woman that is able ought to have a career and her own money so that you don't depend on the man for simple things you can get for yourself.
No woman should put herself in that position if she can help it.

That said,my biggest no no in a man was bad manners.
(I'm married now)
But I just could not stand men that picked their nose,scratched themselves in public or chewed loudly.
I actually left a serious relationship before I met my hubby because the guy embarrassed me constantly in public and I could not stand living that way the rest of my life.
I used to get so embarrassed and felt like disappearing.

_{Lord I hope he's not on nairaland}

~ LMAO @ babyosisi that is just gross misconduct

mohawkchic:

But i am yet to see a true 50/50 relationship as one partner usually contributes more than the other in one aspect or the other.
~I guess in these cases,one partner will have to be makin more money than the other,and somehow i don't suppose there can ever be that direct line cut in the middle!!
~With some men there's always that ego of been the provider and wantin to do just that lilttle bit more, while some women might be comfortable with that,there are also cases where the woman earns more than the man,in all the cases am aware of,this has always been a problem,especially among africans,and honestly,i just don't get it!!!

- Soz just been playing with the new Nairaland toolbar - quite impressive.
Yeah i too have to admit if my partner was earning more than me i would feel a way. Not that the relationship would deteriorate due to this fact but as a man my ego would seriously be dented. So as it goes does that mean that whom ever is the MAIN bread winner in the house controls the roost? Or do u see it as the man being the head of the home - even if the woman earns that much more and financially contributes more?

mohawkchic:

~ LMAO @ babyosisi that is just gross misconduct

It was terrible my dear.
This guy was very handsome,played music and would serenade me,was a great people person,my mom fell in love with him.
But when he ate,it was like a thousand army matching through the land.
It was a nightmare.
I just couldn't live with that.