Fire down broda

fire go burn you sha

Sammy, u mean?

yep,

or u think say i dey refer to you.

U be my man so i dont expect u to do dat

An American journalist, who was tired of receiving complaints that Nigerians answer questions with another question decided to personally investigate the allegation.

The journalist got a Nigerian visiting visa, bought his flight ticket, and off he flew to Nigeria. He was prepared to stay as long as necessary in order to discover the fact.

When he got to the Nigerian airport, he was approached by an immigration officer whose duty it was to check the validity of entry visas and decide whether to deny or permit entry into Nigeria.

They got themselves into the following dialogue:

Immigration officer: What is the purpose of your visit, sir?

Journalist: I am here to investigate an allegation against Nigerians.

Immigration Officer: What is the allegation?

Journalist: Conventional wisdom is that Nigerians answer a question with another question. Is it true?

In response, the immigration office angered by what he felt was a calumny against his motherland answered angrily, WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

The journalist smugly and satisfactorily asked the immigration officer to return his passport stating that Thank you but, I do not want an entry permit anymore.
[color=#006600][/color]

>A family in the Nigeria was puzzled when the coffin of
>their dead mother arrived from the USA, sent by their sister. The tiny
>corpse was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that their mother's
>face
>was practically touching the glass cover. When they opened the coffin,
>they
>found a letter from their sister pinned to their mother's chest, which
>read: Dearest brothers and sisters, I am sending you our mother's
>remains
>for burial there in Lagos. Sorry I couldn't come along as the expenses
>were so high. You will find inside the coffin, under Mama's body, 12
>cans of Libby's corned beef and 12 cans of Luncheon Meat. Just divide it
>among yourselves. On Mama's feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks (size
>for
>Junior. There are four pairs of Reeboks under Mama's head for Tunde's
>sons.
>Mama is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts one is for OMO, Roy and the
>rest
>are for my nephews. Mama is also wearing one dozen Wonder Bra (your
>favorite), just divide it among yourselves. The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret
>panties that Mama is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and
>cousins. Mama is also wearing eight Dockers pants - Ikeje, please get one
>for yourself and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for
>is on Mama's left wrist, please get it. Aunty Ronke, Mama is wearing
>what
>you asked for -- earrings, ring and necklace -- just please get them.
>Also, the six pairs of Channel stockings that Mama is wearing must be
>Divided among the teen-age girls there. I hope they like the color.
>
>Your loving sister,
Joy

Back in the forest, a Yorubaman's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon a baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down, I think there's Yet another one to come."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor.
The yoruba man scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor,
"I think it's the light that's attractin' 'em. Can i put it down?"

Kyle's dad brought home a robot 1day. The robot has the ability to detect lies and would slap the person who lied on the face.Kyle returned late from school and dad asked, "Son why are you late from school?"."Dad, we had extra classes today".The robot slapped Kyle on his face. Dad shouted "Now com'n tell me the truth. Why are you late?" "Dad, I went to a movie" "Which movie?" "The Ten Commandments" Immediately, Kyle got anoda slap from the robot . "Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie "Sex Queen"."Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved" Immediately, the dad gets a hot slap on the face from the robot.Kyle's mother comes walking out of the kitchen and says to her husband, "After all he is ur son!!!" The robot stepped forward and slapped the mother!

hi how are u ,just to say hello to u

thumbs up

@ sammy

no kill person here oh

@seunid

na wah oo

wats with the pssport naa. . . . .u dey find work?

no vacancy abeg

Sammy you get job at all?

President Yar'adua of Nigeria visits Algeria. As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: "You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra,

cool sAM it kept me lmao ;d ;d

hmmmmmmmmm

nice

Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail." So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on Monday. So the two guys come back on Monday and the judge asks how they did. ''I got 17 people to get off drugs,'' says the first guy. ''Wow, how'd you do that?'' asks the judge. ''I used circles. I told them that this large circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs.''

''Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy. "I convinced 156 people to get off drugs.''

''Wow. How'd you do that?'' asked the judge.

''Well, I used circles too. I told them this small circle is your butthole before prison, ''

Oh Boy u're 2 good keep it up

An exhausted looking yoruba lady dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," the lady answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

A few weeks later the lady returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered the lady wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got pulled over by a cop.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

"Um, yeah, " the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch all the fish?"

sammy na u b oga i bow keep it comin man

A couple of Togo got lost at the mall. So they go to the map, where they see a red arrow that says:
YOU ARE HERE
One of them looks at the other and exclaims:
"WoW! How do they know that?"

Eight-year-old Little Mary brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good, mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom:
"Mary is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Mary's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
"Please let me know if your idea works on Mary because I would like to try it out on her mother."

Little Miss MAVIS was asked by her mother what she had learned in Sunday School.
"Well, mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites."
"Now, mavis, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you would never believe it."

At the Sunday School, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson.
It was now time for the usual question period.
"Teacher," announced little Johnny, "there's somethin' I can't figure out."
"What's that Johny?" asked the teacher.
"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right."
"And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"
"Er--right."
"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel was always doing something important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed the teacher. "So what's your question?"
"What I wanna know is this," demanded Johnny. "WSince the Children of Isreal did everything,what was all the grown-ups doing"

Little Johnny and his family were having dinner at his Grandmother's house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away.
"Johnny, wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to." The boy replied.
"Of course, you do," his mother insisted.
"We always say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a month's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building 100 meters away that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in the barrow."

A little old lady answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a new vacuum cleaner."Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money" and she tried to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.
"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse shit all over her hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse shit from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.""Well," she said, "I hope you've got a good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning."

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.

"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they began arguing until the King called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."

hehehe

A little old lady went to a grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up three cans and took them to the checkout counter. The girl at the cash register said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat." The little old lady went home, picked up the cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day she tries to buy three cans of dog food. Again the cashier demands proof that she has a dog, because sometime old people eat dog food. She went home and brought in the dog. She then got the dog food. The next day she brought in a small box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, "That smells like shit." The little old lady said, "it is!. Now can I buy three rolls of toilet paper?"

A fellow married a rich wicked woman who left her for a police man. He filled for divorce and made some fortune out ofhe case. He bought a new mercedes and decides to test it out on the highway. He is running about 150KMPH with the top down and the wind blowing through his hair. All of a sudden he notices a highway patrol cruiser flashing his red lights directly behind his car. In an instant, he decides that his new mercedes can easily outrun the patrol car so he jumps the speed up to 170, then 190 and finally 200. The patrol car is right behind him and the guy finally realizes what he has done and pulls over. The patrolman walks up to him and asks for his drivers license. He then looks at the driver and says " I really hate writing up a bunch of paperwork for spped offences." "If you can give me an excuse I have never heard before" I will let you off. The driver thinks for a second and says:"officer, two weeks ago my wife left me for a policeman. I thought you were the police and trying to give her back to me.