Hello. I want to preface this by saying this is not one of those silly stories where the writer asks what to do at the end like some dullard. I know what to do and I've done it already. Just doing this to get some closure. I'm also going to change a few details to remain anonymous. Here goes

I met a young lady back when I was in school some five six years ago. She was really pretty and intelligent and we both played the same sport. I really liked her. We hung out from time to time. Nothing serious. I had a girlfriend then and I did some major playing. Had a few bucks and not too bad looks.
I always fantasized about this girl but for some reason I never asked her out. Initially I told myself it's because I was saving her for something much more serious but eventually I guess it was due to fear of rejection. I never asked her out till I graduated. But we still hung out a few times. Then I went for service. She was on bbm and we would chat quite frequently. I even hinted somehow that I was coming back to where she was basically because I wanted us to be together but she would just laugh. Subconsciously I never believed she would accept if I asked her out.

Now let me take you a few years back to understand the rest of the story. I've been in love once before. Never worked out. Wrecked me emotionally. But when it comes to flings, my friends come to me for advice. I know how to play the game to a perfection. But it's all a mental game. Not an emotional one.

Okay now I'm back from service, got a job shortly afterwards and a decent apartment. She came to my office a few times and we hung out. Up to this point I've not told her explicitly I wanted to date her but I was assuming we'll just blossom into a relationship. Problem was we never saw each other frequently. Maybe once in two months and I didn't call so often. Not because I didn't care.

Now to the beginning of the end. I called her one nonspecific day and we blabbed about nothing and suddenly I don't remember how but I told her I really liked her. I was not prepared for her response. She told me she's been in love with me for five years and what took me so long. She got all emotional and started crying. We rescheduled the call.
Now this is where my demon starts. I become so emotional I couldn't control myself. I would call everyday and send tacky messages. I tried to arrange a meeting but she always refused. Eventually we saw. I told her to her face I was in love with her and bla bla. She looked at me without any affect. It was really cold. Then she said 'did you expect me to say something'
I was befuddled. I couldn't understand what was happening. I would call her everyday afterwards and send messages, despite my tight schedule. She never called back nor replied. I got exasperated and asked her what the problem was. She said she was processing. That was where it ended. She became cold and distant. Not replying my messages and sounding like I was bugging her. On her birthday I offered to take her out. No reply. Send a birthday message, no reply.
That was when I actually realise how crazy I've been. I knew all my moves in reality were against the code of courting but they came from a part of my heart I had never explored. But I had crucified every bit of my self respect and I think I'm done. I deleted her number because the urge to call her was too much(luckily I hadn't memorised it). It's been about a week now. She's not called. I stalk her Facebook page but she's not so active there. I can't see another girl because I found she's everything I want in a lady. I know it'll take 3 months to heal but everyday is so painful. Perhaps I was a coward for not letting her know sooner I don't know. But every night I dream that she calls me and tells me she loves me too. I know this isn't going to happen and I'll probably never find someone I'll love that much. But I'll find someone.
I'm pretty sure no one would read this this typing it out actually feels a little good

She is hurt @ o.p

she said she had loved you for 5years?

I wouldn't want to push blames here but all that happened was your fault.

why didn't you tell her how you felt before now? you were keeping her? is she a pet?

I think you should find a way to see her and talk things out. she might have fallen for someone else when she don wait taya.

HEre. Perusing continue.

Ok

Love sucks ryt?
Will always be...

Op Nawa oo! You acted like a snail! Did you develop any feelings for her during the five years?
The reason why she cried when u finally spoke your mind is that it was late when you asked her out, she's in love with another man... Look4 another person! You really fumbled!

Tales by moonlight...

Urbino:
Hello. I want to preface this by saying this is not one of those silly stories where the writer asks what to do at the end like some Dillard. I know what to do and I've done it already. Just doing this to get some closure. I'm also going to change a few details to remain anonymous. Here goes

I met a young lady back when I was in school some five six years ago. She was really pretty and intelligent and we both played the same sport. I really liked her. We hung out from time to time. Nothing serious. I had a girlfriend then and I did some major playing. Had a few bucks and not too bad looks.
I always fantasized about this girl but for some reason I never asked her out. Initially I told myself it's because I was saving her for something much more serious but eventually I guess it was due to fear of rejection. I never asked her out till I graduated. But we still hung out a few times. Then I went for service. She was on bbm and we would chat quite frequently. I even hinted somehow that I was coming back to where she was basically because I wanted us to be together but she would just laugh. Subconsciously I never believed she would accept if I asked her out.

Now let me take you a few years back to understand the rest of the story. I've been in love e. Never worked out. Wrecked me emotionallyBut when it comes to flings, my friends come to me for advice. I know how to play the game to a perfection. But it's all a mental game. Not an emotional one.

Okay now I'm back from service, got a job shortly afterwards and a decent apartment. She came to my office a few times and we hung out. Up to this point I've not told her explicitly I wanted to date her but I was assuming we'll just blossom into a relationship. Problem was we never saw each other frequently. Maybe once in two months and I didn't call so often. Not because I didn't care.

Now to the beginning of the end. I called her one nonspecific day and we blabbed about nothing and suddenly I don't remember how but I told her I really liked her. I was not prepared for her response. She told me she's been in love with me for five years and what took me so long. She got all emotional and started crying. We rescheduled the call.
Now this is where my demon starts. I become so emotional I couldn't control myself. I would call everyday and send tacky messages. I tried to arrange a meeting but she always refused. Eventually we saw. I told her to her face I was in love with her and bla bla. She looked at me without any affect. It was really cold. Then she said 'did you expect me to say something'
I was befuddled. I couldn't understand what was happening. I would call her everyday and send messages, despite my tight schedule. She never called back nor replied. I got exasperated and asked her what the problem was she said she was processing. That was where it ended. She became cold and distant. Not replying my messages and sounding like I was bugging her. On her birthday I offered to take her out. No reply. Send a birthday message, no reply.
That was when I actually realise how crazy I've been. I knew all my moves in reality were against the code of courting but they came from a part of my heart I had never explored. But I had crucified every bit of my self respect and I think I'm done. I deleted her number because the urge to call her was too much(luckily I hadn't memorised it). It's been about a week now. She's not called. I stalk her Facebook page but she's not so active there. I can't see another girl because I found she's everything I want in a lady. I know it'll take 3 months to heal but everyday is so painful. Perhaps I was a coward for not letting her know sooner I don't know. But every night I dream that she calls me and tells me she loves me too. I know this isn't going to happen and I'll probably never find someone I'll love that much. But I'll find someone.
I'm pretty sure no one would read this this typing it out actually feels a little good

I feel your pain and understand the you being a master of flings part but when it comes to love..u get it wrong.

Now progress further without calling her again or sending any messages. If she's into you, she would come back. Trust me. Meanwhile use the time to meet other people and remember, love is different, we act all nice and scare the girl away, If only you could act just 50 percent of the way you act to the flings and not get too emotional in the beginning..love will not run away.

These tips might help...even for this girl you are about to forget, especially Number 10...

https://www.nairaland.com/2525657/10-tips-escape-friendzone-get

Mind you, one of the reasons she loved you back then in school was because you were unavailable and had a GF.

if you like don't move on.

Yeah I guess I did fumble. But sadly the extent of how much I love her was only evident when it was too late. Why I never said something earlier still bugs me day and night. Even when I explained that it was a bit scared to ask her because I really liked her she said 'how can I go out with someone who's scared to ask me out'. And that is a crazy irony because when I'm not emotionally invested I'm a smooth criminal.

Samfigo1:
Op Nawa oo! You acted like a snail! Did you develop any feelings for her during the five years?
The reason why she cried when u finally spoke your mind is that it was late when you asked her out, she's in love with another man... Look4 another person! You really fumbled!

I like the 50% part. Only problem was when she looked at me or when I heard her voice I lose all me mental faculty. I begin to act and feel like a teenage girl on her first crush. But I like your article though

Unibentested:



I feel your pain and understand the you being a master of flings part but when it comes to love..u get it wrong.

Now progress further without calling her again or sending any messages. If she's into you, she would come back. Trust me. Meanwhile use the time to meet other people and remember, love is different, we act all nice and scare the girl away, If only you could act just 50 percent of the way you act to the flings and not get too emotional in the beginning..love will not run away.

These tips might help...even for this girl you are about to forget, especially Number 10...

https://www.nairaland.com/2525657/10-tips-escape-friendzone-get

Mind you, one of the reasons she loved you back then in school was because you were unavailable and had a GF.

I cant promise u DAT u wld ever forget her,u wouldn't but in case she doesn't ever come back,I'll have u know that u wld find someone special someday,I know wat u going tru cos i ve bin there

Op sorry, I could have given an opinion but at the opening of your post you sounded above board, you sounded even wiser than King Solomon that others opinion would be nothing but silly to you. You know what to do so go ahead to do it.

O.p I feel ur pain..we r in the same shoes...mine dumped my sorry ass July ending.I can't wait for November to reach to get her out of my system

#girlscanbemean

dude are you kidding me? you took a page out of the book of my life word for word. met in college played the same sport.. played the same game.. same confession.. same reaction but mine happened within a period of 2 years lol

Urbino:
Hello. I want to preface this by saying this is not one of those silly stories where the writer asks what to do at the end like some dullard. I know what to do and I've done it already. Just doing this to get some closure. I'm also going to change a few details to remain anonymous. Here goes

I met a young lady back when I was in school some five six years ago. She was really pretty and intelligent and we both played the same sport. I really liked her. We hung out from time to time. Nothing serious. I had a girlfriend then and I did some major playing. Had a few bucks and not too bad looks.
I always fantasized about this girl but for some reason I never asked her out. Initially I told myself it's because I was saving her for something much more serious but eventually I guess it was due to fear of rejection. I never asked her out till I graduated. But we still hung out a few times. Then I went for service. She was on bbm and we would chat quite frequently. I even hinted somehow that I was coming back to where she was basically because I wanted us to be together but she would just laugh. Subconsciously I never believed she would accept if I asked her out.

Now let me take you a few years back to understand the rest of the story. I've been in love once before. Never worked out. Wrecked me emotionally. But when it comes to flings, my friends come to me for advice. I know how to play the game to a perfection. But it's all a mental game. Not an emotional one.

Okay now I'm back from service, got a job shortly afterwards and a decent apartment. She came to my office a few times and we hung out. Up to this point I've not told her explicitly I wanted to date her but I was assuming we'll just blossom into a relationship. Problem was we never saw each other frequently. Maybe once in two months and I didn't call so often. Not because I didn't care.

Now to the beginning of the end. I called her one nonspecific day and we blabbed about nothing and suddenly I don't remember how but I told her I really liked her. I was not prepared for her response. She told me she's been in love with me for five years and what took me so long. She got all emotional and started crying. We rescheduled the call.
Now this is where my demon starts. I become so emotional I couldn't control myself. I would call everyday and send tacky messages. I tried to arrange a meeting but she always refused. Eventually we saw. I told her to her face I was in love with her and bla bla. She looked at me without any affect. It was really cold. Then she said 'did you expect me to say something'
I was befuddled. I couldn't understand what was happening. I would call her everyday afterwards and send messages, despite my tight schedule. She never called back nor replied. I got exasperated and asked her what the problem was. She said she was processing. That was where it ended. She became cold and distant. Not replying my messages and sounding like I was bugging her. On her birthday I offered to take her out. No reply. Send a birthday message, no reply.
That was when I actually realise how crazy I've been. I knew all my moves in reality were against the code of courting but they came from a part of my heart I had never explored. But I had crucified every bit of my self respect and I think I'm done. I deleted her number because the urge to call her was too much(luckily I hadn't memorised it). It's been about a week now. She's not called. I stalk her Facebook page but she's not so active there. I can't see another girl because I found she's everything I want in a lady. I know it'll take 3 months to heal but everyday is so painful. Perhaps I was a coward for not letting her know sooner I don't know. But every night I dream that she calls me and tells me she loves me too. I know this isn't going to happen and I'll probably never find someone I'll love that much. But I'll find someone.
I'm pretty sure no one would read this this typing it out actually feels a little good

Thanks, I hope so

prettysassygirl:
I cant promise u DAT u wld ever forget her,u wouldn't but in case she doesn't ever come back,I'll have u know that u wld find someone special someday,I know wat u going tru cos i ve bin there

Well if I was so wise I wouldn't have messed up my chance to be truly happy, or I wouldn't be this miserable afterwards would I?

focus7:
Op sorry, I could have given an opinion but at the opening of your post you sounded above board, you sounded even wiser than King Solomon that others opinion would be nothing but silly to you. You know what to do so go ahead to do it.

Op boo gat a boo
Lee boo lee boo

Give her time there is always a time for love

Mayb d time for u guys love is not now

Set her free just kno dat wenever u set sumone or sumtin free nd it later comes bck to u den it was meant to be

To u it myt b d perfect love bt God might av oda plans for u guys sumtimes wat we feel is ryt for us myt nt be ryt for us cos u dont kno how all wud end
Or do u?

Yeah that's what I'm doing now, but I have this nightmare that one day she'll say if I had fought for her now a little bit more she would have had me. And there's also the fact that any move I make now would be borderline psychotic. Add that to the fact that whenever I listen to any sad song, and I always listen to sad songs I feel the loss over again. It's like a wound that won't go away. I used to have her picture on my desk at the office and my laptop background. Deleted it. Too much sadness.
The saddest part is that she would just move on like I didn't exist

halfrica post=37300230, :
Op boo gat a boo
Lee boo lee boo

Give her time there is always a time for love

Mayb d time for u guys love is not now

Set her free just kno dat wenever u set sumone or sumtin free nd it later comes bck to u den it was meant to be

To u it myt b d perfect love bt God might av oda plans for u guys sumtimes wat we feel is ryt for us myt nt be ryt for us cos u dont kno how all wud end
Or do u?

Urbino:
Yeah that's what I'm doing now, but I have this nightmare that one day she'll say if I had fought for her now a little bit more she would have had me. And there's also the fact that any move I make now would be borderline psychotic. Add that to the fact that whenever I listen to any sad song, and I always listen to sad songs I feel the loss over again. It's like a wound that won't go away. I used to have her picture on my desk at the office and my laptop background. Deleted it. Too much sadness.
The saddest part is that she would just move on like I didn't exist

Time is d key here
Time heals all wounds its a matter of time
with time u will get over it trust me
Live ur life u av tried for her wat more does she want from u again ?
all wat u av done for her is wat most girls are prayin for deir bf nd husband to do nd cant do to dem

Fight wat?
Like u own black belt bah?
She wants u to fyt her conscience for her bah?

Be happy its ur life not hers sumone special needs all ur love please if u can giv a common frnd cum lust lover dis kind of love
Hope u remain small love for ur future wifey


go out meet people change lives abeg d girl is probably knackin one nigga dat gat anoda boo ryt now sef
And u here cryin like pikin wiv pampers

Urbino:
Hello. I want to preface this by saying this is not one of those silly stories where the writer asks what to do at the end like some dullard. I know what to do and I've done it already. Just doing this to get some closure. I'm also going to change a few details to remain anonymous. Here goes

I met a young lady back when I was in school some five six years ago. She was really pretty and intelligent and we both played the same sport. I really liked her. We hung out from time to time. Nothing serious. I had a girlfriend then and I did some major playing. Had a few bucks and not too bad looks.
I always fantasized about this girl but for some reason I never asked her out. Initially I told myself it's because I was saving her for something much more serious but eventually I guess it was due to fear of rejection. I never asked her

nonsense! then wat do u want us to derive from dis crap?

Sad

i recently had a terrible breakup too. i'm a hopeless romantic...and i think you are too. where are you maybe we could meet up and talk about it? send me a message cheers, becky x_o

Op she is angry with you, she loved you for 5years hoping you would pop out the word but you didn't, so she though you were never gonnu do it and decided to
choose a path, now she felt guilty of impatient, she felt the pain of probably making a choice she never cherished, now you just did the worst by telling her at same time giving up, she waited you too should have waited,
now you better grab your touch and binoculars let's go search for her,

the best spouse is a best friend and not lover, this is where we miss it.

my 1 pound

Thanks. That made a lot of sense.

clemz85:
Op she is angry with you, she loved you for 5years hoping you would pop out the word but you didn't, so she though you were never gonnu do it and decided to
choose a path, now she felt guilty of impatient, she felt the pain of probably making a choice she never cherished, now you just did the worst by telling her at same time giving up, she waited you too should have waited,
now you better grab your touch and binoculars let's go search for her,

the best spouse is a best friend and not lover, this is where we miss it.

my 1 pound

Still makes me sad...