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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win (15932 Views)
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Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Nobody: 5:11pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Kimoni:Semantics. We both are correct |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Shymm3x: 5:15pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Timbuktou: I honestly don't think they marry nice guys cos they want to. Most times, they just settle for them as the last option and perhaps due to whatever bad experiences they had with thugs. That's why a lot of always stay creeping even after getting with nice guys. Pepa is the type that will marry Will Smith and still be creeping with Treach - that's how they roll. 2 Likes |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by yetseyi(f): 5:26pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Shymm3x: Like missy said stop generalizing The same way some guys leave the "good ladies" is also the same way some ladies ignore the nice guys. Most ladies know a nice guy is what they need but for whatever reason some of us just tend to want more(which is not what they need). Its quite complex and I seem not to understand it my self. Why would I ignore a guy who treats me right? I have seen it happen several times to people and then I ask is she all right. The same is applicable to guys, they leave the good ladies and then run after the ones that its obvious would give them problems. But there are some smart ladies out there who know a good/nice/sweet guy when they see one and make sure they keep him. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by ApexTitan(m): 5:26pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
freecocoa: No argument here. You know, in a sense, we are saying the same thing. Ok let me break down my position some more Vivica being attracted to 50 is an example of the dynamic that describes female attraction. Female attraction is basically two fold in nature; the organic and automatic pull of pronounced masculine traits in a man and the push for long term provisioning and comfort. Unfortunately very few men can satisfy the twin nature of female attraction. Men easily fall into two groups in this regard, the "bad boys" and the "nice/sweet guys", the alphas and the betas, if you will. The bad boys exude those masculine traits that engender an automatic and non-negotiated response alas because of their bad boy persona they can be harmful choices to the women. The nice/sweet guys are the ones that can easily satisfy the other half of female attraction needs - i.e, the long term provisioning part, but alas in doing this they do not generate an automatic or organic response. (The nice guys because they suppress the distinct masculine traits will 'always come last' because of this fact) This dichotomy is always present in all women attractions matters. "Mature women" find the bad boy persona juvenile because they realise it comes up short when considering the long term provisioning aspect of their attraction. [s]I'll go forward and add that in their not so mature days the women gave themselves to the bad boy types but saying that would only trigger another round of debate that this section is famous for.[/s] 2 Likes |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Nobody: 5:28pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Shymm3x: That's exactly the point. They know they can't control the alpha guy, and women want a man they can control or, at least, predict. Look at the thread on the guy who went undercover at Ashley Madison, his experiences are nothing new, just a confirmation of that which is already known. And the ones that creep the most are these alpha females and feminist types, that "get bored easily". We know them and their tactics. They might want to deny the fact, but we go just look and laugh. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by sisisioge: 5:28pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
You may have a point there. ladies, just like men, want their adventure too. The excitement, the thrill, the rough edges, the I-want-what-I-want-damn-the consequences! It's our makeup...the calm follows. Trust me, we want the good guy and love to see some rough edges here and there no brut...just ssezxy ruggedness. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Shymm3x: 5:34pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
yetseyi: Lmao. I'm not generalising - I'm just trying to help the mindset of a lot of women, and help the nice/sweet guys out cos it seems they're losing. Anyway, this is for you and missy89. I'm going to create a bracket and I want the both of you to select one guy from each bracket. This will help a lot in knowing what ya mindset is and please keep it real. - Idris Elba vs. Terrence Howard - Denzel Washington vs. Will Smith - Marc Lamont Hill vs. Don Lemon - Colin Kaepernick vs. Russell Wilson - Carmelo Anthony vs. Al Horford - Chris Webber vs. Reggie Miller - Tupac vs. Q.tip PS: if you don't know the names - you can google them. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Shymm3x: 5:37pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Timbuktou: Lol. Women are very funny. Just imagine a legend like Vivica Fox calling 50cent the love of her life. The same way Madonna, at the height of her career, used to run after Tupac everywhere. Mariah Carey and Cam'ron. Even Oprah wanted 50cent at one point. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Nobody: 5:46pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
ApexTitan: I was going to say these exact words but I'm not sure I have enough nutrients to follow through with its eventual outcome. Brilliant point. 1 Like |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by ApexTitan(m): 5:46pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Shymm3x you know with your list above the ladies will only pick the men they perceive to be alpha. You can't question or analyse their choices because it is based solely on their perceptions. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by raumdeuter: 5:49pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Its the feminine makeup generally. They love the roughness of those bad guys thats why in school some girls would be queuing up for some bad guy while seriously friend zoning the guys who are cool serious bookworms Even the born again sisters are not left out There was one serious case of a girl attached to one of these bad boys. The guy doesnt send her one bit, treats her like trash. the guy would even fuccck her in a room of 10 guys (sleeping or pretending to be sleeping) atimes I heard he even hits her while the girl would always come back yet some calm guys were always trying to get her attention but they are always too soft for her One of her favourite saying to those calm guys is "You cant handle me" The only reason why women drop this ideology when old is because of the need for stability they realize those bad guys are bad for a long term relationship so they kinda settle for the regular guy but still at the back of their minds wish they can get with those bad guys The ideal man for them would be a BAD GUY who would have a lot of money make her his only bitttch. Imagine 2pac when he was alive all the females in the entertainment industry were trying to get with him. From janet Jackson to Kidada Jones(quincy Jones daughter) to faith Evans |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by freecocoa(f): 5:50pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
ApexTitan:We are not saying the same thing jor. All I see in your post is you saying, nice guys are betas and that's so very wrong, please don't tell me 50 and his likes is your definition of the alpha male, seriously dude? it can't be same for all women so the generalisation is just not fitting at all, there are women who have never at any point in their lives wanted a bad boy. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by yetseyi(f): 5:54pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Shymm3x: Lool, I am a bit lazy now I really cant google about those i dont know much about. Even those I know what makes you think either of them falls within my own definition of a nice guy. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by yetseyi(f): 5:58pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
freecocoa: I agree with you. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Shymm3x: 5:58pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
ApexTitan: Word. And that's where the problem lies. That's the reason why I created the thread. Not trying to take the race route but it's just basically something I noticed. It's like every time I meet an extremely beautiful black chic dating just any type of white guy. I normally ask them in a cheeky way why they're with whoever they're with, since it's obvious that they can do better than that. And it's funny that they all always give the same answers about black guys being violent jailbirds, serial cheaters, and all kinds of negative things. So you have always question their decision making when it comes to guys, since those are the type of guys they're always attracted to. A lot of run with the perception, but they don't have the mental fortitude to deal with the baggage that comes with it. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Shymm3x: 5:59pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
raumdeuter: Lol. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Shymm3x: 6:02pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
yetseyi: All the ones on the left are rough around the edges. They might look like nice guys on the outside but they aren't sweet guys. They're all thorough bred. Even Denzel used to be a G (and he still is despite his age). 1 Like |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by freecocoa(f): 6:04pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
yetseyi:Take a look at raumdeuter's post, does the lady described seem normal? and we are supposed to believe that's "the feminine makeup generally" like seriously? Funny. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by yetseyi(f): 6:10pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Shymm3x: So all those on the right are the real sweet/nice guys hmm well a its expected that most ladies would go for will smith and co but like I said earlier its not always the case and I really cant understand why. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by yetseyi(f): 6:17pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
raumdeuter: Feminine make up loving roughness I dont agree. I agree that ladies sometimes make the wrong choices because of the wrong reasons but loving the roughness I don't think so. Born again sisters? I disagree joor. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by yetseyi(f): 6:19pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
freecocoa: Honestly, the lady doesn't seem normal. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Missy89(f): 6:27pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Shymm3x: Hmmm I want Michael Ealy |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by freecocoa(f): 6:37pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
yetseyi:Not in the least bit. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by ApexTitan(m): 6:38pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
freecocoa: Lol. The thing about alphas is that they embody or give out pronounced masculine cues. The masculine traits in their pure form comprise strength, courage, mastery, dominance, and much more. That's what makes a true alpha. These are the things that ALL women are hardwired to respond to and why we can comfortably generalise so. A man may have a bad or good character but gives out those cues strongly - he is alpha. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by freecocoa(f): 6:39pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Missy89:Dude, he's mine. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by raumdeuter: 6:40pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
yetseyi: I know this from personal experience. It has happened to me like 5 times. While younger I was closer to the rough/bad guy. I can joke and say x rated stuffs easily There was a girl from the same school we met when I was on IT. In the same office, i would talk dirty, say nasty stuffs she would just laugh say "You are a very bad boy" but she would come around to gist and hear more. The talks got increasingly dirty and she would really find it very funny. It was when we got back to school that ppl were wondering how I could get that girl. This was a girl that would go in front of a lecture theatre of 300 students to preach regularly. Another one during NYSC. Very born again girl NCCF deputy mama (She doesnt even put treatment in her hair) It started as a joke in the staff room. Of course everyday was I would move from one corper to the other. But after talking to her. and honestly I didnt have it in mind to even do anything with her. That was how she started following me about. Things happened between us. I would drink and even smoke while she would be clinging to me All of them followed the same pattern, girls that I never expected would even pay me attention because I was bad/rough All these girls had some bro that was always visiting them trying to get their attention and they would even ridicule the bro when they are gone. those bros used to fear me then and wonder what Sister Bleep was doing with me |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by freecocoa(f): 6:50pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
ApexTitan: ApexTitan:Yet you guys somehow managed to proclaim the guys with good character, betas, or can't an alpha male be a nice guy? |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Shymm3x: 6:57pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Missy89: Lol. Why are you reaching for what you can't get? He's not on the list and he is not even into black women. Is that ya way of dodging the obvious on what ya answer would be? Ooops, I forgot you prefer white guys. Okay, choose one from each bracket: - Colin Farrell vs. Bradley Cooper - Robert De Niro vs. Johnny Depp |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Missy89(f): 7:02pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Shymm3x: Bradley Cooper of course. That was easy |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Shymm3x: 7:03pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
yetseyi: Nah, based on public opinions - most chics prefer the guys on the left. Most women would take Denzel Washington before Will Smith, despite the former being a weed head...but he does have a strong woman who can deal with the baggage though. Idris Elba is a sex symbol - something Terrence Howard will never be. And Idris Elba is a proper London roadman - he made his name in the UK, before going to the US via pirate radio stations. When he got to New York - he was running around the streets DJing and doing whatever thorough breds do. Heck, he was in a lot of hip-hop videos in the noughties. He's also a weed head. I won't get into the rest cos the stories are all the same. All sex symbols to most women. And Chris Webber also pulled Tyra Banks when she was on top of the world as a top super model. |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by Shymm3x: 7:04pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
Missy89: GTFOH!!! Bradley Cooper over Ireland's own Colin Farell, the chics magnet? You lied! What about De Niro the papi chulo? |
Re: Female Problems - Why Sweet/nice Guys Seldom Win by KanwuliaJara: 7:05pm On Aug 25, 2015 |
I don't see any "female problems" here o! ONLY DATING PROBLEMS! If you are NOT compatible, no deal! If 50 Cents is a "NICE, SWEET GUY" . . . . .no hope for women! Tufiakwa!!!! Nothing sweet or nice about "HOOD RATS"! |
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