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My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! - Romance - Nairaland

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My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by czarr(m): 7:05am On Sep 01, 2015
I've been asked out by girls,who now hate me with their soul,because I'm never committed to them.(I tell them I'm not d committed type)
I've lost beautiful girls because of this,who now find joy in spoiling my name in front of potential chicks undecided
I want to change,i always envy my friends who are in committed relationships.
I really checked deep down and I found I'm non committal because I hate to disappoint people........ I feel somewhere along the line I'll fucckup,plus being attached to someone makes me feel caged(sort of)
I've tried commitment few times in the past,didn't work out and it was my fault because I felt suffocated.
Sorry if this is too long but its become an issue, my mom who loves to see my girlfriends, say it may affect me in future.

So please is there any like me,who had this fear,and who managed to breakthrough,please say how?

JARIZOD, cutehector,naijaboiy, et all
Re: My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by Nobody: 7:12am On Sep 01, 2015
Why is cutehector name up there? I wanted to comment but bcuz of dat i won't comment aqain grin
Re: My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by Cutehector(m): 7:16am On Sep 01, 2015
Ok you have insecurities to manage..


Try being alone for just one year... And tell me hw u feel abt it..
Re: My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by czarr(m): 7:19am On Sep 01, 2015
Durent:
Why is cutehector name up there? I wanted to comment but bcuz of dat i won't comment aqain grin
lol,bro no vex na
Una beef dey personal na,diz na public forum grin
Re: My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by czarr(m): 7:23am On Sep 01, 2015
Cutehector:
Ok you have insecurities to manage..


Try being alone for just one year... And tell me hw u feel abt it..
if by alone you mean single,den yh I've been for a year plus now,
How I feel?
I feel like I've let down people who care so much,some even call me arrogant
Re: My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by Nobody: 7:26am On Sep 01, 2015
hmmm d reason why u were nt commited in ur previous relationship are bcaus u dnt LOVE the ladies, mayb ure proud so u let ur ego control u, dnt worry when u fall deeply in love with a lady, nobody will tell u to be commited and act as a slave to her bcaus u cant risk loosing her, dnt worry that girl is around d corner.

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Re: My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by Cutehector(m): 7:28am On Sep 01, 2015
czarr:
if by alone you mean single,den yh I've been for a year plus now,
How I feel?
I feel like I've let down people who care so much,some even call me arrogant
hav u eva tried sittn down alone and finding out things abt ur life? Like tryn to ask urself meaningful questions? If you havnt tried dat, u need to retreat to an alone moment and hav a retreat abt u


I believe u must be withing ur late 20s if I may ask
Re: My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by czarr(m): 7:41am On Sep 01, 2015
softapples:
hmmm d reason why u were nt commited in ur previous relationship are bcaus u dnt LOVE the ladies, mayb ure proud so u let ur ego control u, dnt worry when u fall deeply in love with a lady, nobody will tell u to be commited and act as a slave to her bcaus u cant risk loosing her, dnt worry that girl is around d corner.
if you say so
Re: My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by Nobody: 1:21am On Sep 03, 2015
czarr:
I've been asked out by girls,who now hate me with their soul,because I'm never committed to them.(I tell them I'm not d committed type)
I've lost beautiful girls because of this,who now find joy in spoiling my name in front of potential chicks undecided
I want to change,i always envy my friends who are in committed relationships.
I really checked deep down and I found I'm non committal because I hate to disappoint people........ I feel somewhere along the line I'll fucckup,plus being attached to someone makes me feel caged(sort of)
I've tried commitment few times in the past,didn't work out and it was my fault because I felt suffocated.
Sorry if this is too long but its become an issue, my mom who loves to see my girlfriends, say it may affect me in future.

So please is there any like me,who had this fear,and who managed to breakthrough,please say how?

JARIZOD, cutehector,naijaboiy, et all
To be sincere with u bro, I have the same problem, but Am working on it.. The thing is when u find someone u truly love u will want to be commited to her
Re: My Fear Of Commitment!!! Why?!!! by Nobody: 4:47am On Sep 03, 2015
softapples:
hmmm d reason why u were nt commited in ur previous relationship are bcaus u dnt LOVE the ladies, mayb ure proud so u let ur ego control u, dnt worry when u fall deeply in love with a lady, nobody will tell u to be commited and act as a slave to her bcaus u cant risk loosing her, dnt worry that girl is around d corner.

I promise you this is a sure way to loose her when she kukuma comes.
GTF outta here with that "act as a slave to her" rubbish. Slaves don't have boundaries. You need [a lot of] boundaries when dealing with a woman no matter how much you love her.

As long as said girl is still in her 20's (What are you looking for with a 30+ anyway), you have to be a little "Hard/Complex" with your softness or love for her.
NEVER, I repeat, NEVER let any woman think that you are that guy who will do anything she wants all willy nilly.
Sometimes sef you have to just refuse her just for the sake of refusing her.
She must be fully cognizant of the fact that you are also a "formidable force" in the equation and that rewards must be earned by good behavior.

I know this sounds harsh or prison-like or whatever, but this actually gives your woman more freedom because now she knows how to relate with you in a respectful manner. She has no way of doing so if you are this wretched spineless thing!

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