Sagamite:

I can't help but say: "Shut up and just take what she is giving you".

You married someone that, in my own opinion, is mentally disturbed and she showed you the whole symptoms well before the marriage but you still went along and married her.

I can't even, as a man, contemplate the thought of comparing my girl with exes and then repeatedly TELL her she is inferior whilst I am in contact with the exes, talkless of contemplating a woman doing it to a man.

Shut up and eat her sh*t and stop pissing me off, wimp. You both deserve each other.

rofl

she married because you are the best. forget all of her provocations. calm her down and both of you should work together and build up your marrige. marriage is committment and some hardwork. the sooner she realises that you are everything she needs in the man, the better for the both of you.
goodluck man.

@poster, ur wife has been sleeping with her ex even when married thats why she is comparing them with u, U nid to have a close watch on her whenever u are away and the truth will be revealed

Did you seek Gods face before you went into the marriage?

So many marriages are broken because we listen to the voice of the flesh.

Someone like me can cope with anything from a woman but unfaithfulness which i see here is what i cant manage at all.

I suggest you go into strong prayers on her behalf she is possessed of Spirits of Immorality and no matter how hard you try to satisfy her in Bed it wont work.

Its quite unfortunate we end up regretting every action we take without Gods consent.

I really feel your pains but there is a way out.ONLY PRAYERS

@ poster
u be correct ju-man, throw her into the singles-market, or better still discharge her so she'll go back to her better performing ex's. why endure such humiliation? a man must be gentle but never let a woman(or even another) hurt ur ego,

viperman:


Sorry to say, but the truth is She's immature, selfish and an emotional cheat. That she still compares you with her Exs and calls them isn't a good sign at alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, especially for a married woman. She has no respect for your union so treat her like one who doesn't until she either coems correct or leaves you on her own volition so you can meet a more matured person.


The next time she compares you with her Ex, compare her with our own ex(that you never told her about), if you don't have an Ex to compare her with, create an Ex character in you head of what you expect of her e.g:

YOUR WIFE: my 3rd boyfriend , james(EX), always knew how to fix things, how come you don't know how to fix anything.
YOU: mehnnn, this is why i miss diana(remember you never told her about any diana). matured, calm, supporting and was freaking great in bed. , **then you sigh** , those were the days.
Then either continue wht you're doing or change topic as if what she said didn't annoy you and it just brought back good old memories of your EX(diana).
she will first want to retaliate to hurt you, but keep treating her comparisons in similar fashion, but add variations to it. if you see she's unrepentant and continues to compare you, shock her one day when she's making such a statement by telling her this:

YOUR WIFE: If it was my ex jide, he would never have behave that way
YOU: **call her by name**, i've been wanting to tell you something.
YOUR WIFE: what!!!?
YOU: Its obvious you're not happy in this marriage and i think it's time we gave eachother some space to rethink our union. Maybe we're not meant for eachother, but for our Exs(mention the name of the Ex you normally counter her with, and the name of her Ex she normally calls)

watch her reaction



if she starts rant-begging, then you can play stubborn and after a certain period, start talking sense into her. But if she plays it cool like, she says i think we really need to, The my brother, it's time to send her out or leave her and move out.



this is my opinion 

Haba-Allah  Haba  Allah
Haba-Allah Haba-Allah Haba-Allah   

Abeg you no make sense at all
2wrongs Cannot make A WRIgHt

LOL at some of the posts telling the guy to bear with it, things'll change, she's being immature. Are you for real?!?!?!

Why can't y'all say what's really on your mind?

The guy's got himself in the sh*t, she's been telling him about her ex's since BEFORE they were married. And he's still pleading with her to stop!!

Dude are you sure she's only talking to them?

O boy, get a grip and take control! Or get anodda chick!

@Poster,
I believe yours is a Cry over a Spilt Milk.
I know the Hand Writings would have been on the wall even before you married her but you were either to dumb or too lost in love to notice.
Now that it has happened,I suggest you sit her down and talk sense into her,If truly you call the shots in your home then she will listen to you and amend but If she does,then you are in for it.
I personally don't support Divorce so I'll say It's your Cross,Carry It!.

_{MARRIAGE IS LIKE A CASTLE UNDER SIEGE,THOSE WITHIN WANT TO GET OUT WHILE THOSE OUTSIDE WANT TO GET IN.}

Anyway @pOStEr did she ever compare you to your best ''friEnd'' Just kiDDing. . .  

Is this general performance or sexual performance? Cos these are two different issues.

If it's general performance, then maybe it's not as serious, but if it is sexual, you better LISTEN to what she says and IMPROVE. If not another man will be watering your garden before long.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You dont need the pain, because each time she compares you with old boy, each time your confidence would go, your esteem would go, your sexual performance would suffer more, you need someone that would make you feel worthy and happy

you should have married her.

Forget about it bro'. a woman will always be a woman. Good thing is a woman' private parts is not a meter, otherwise some women's meter will have run down by now. Or we thank God say they don't write it on a woman's fore-head everytime she has sex, otherwise some women will be carrying a fore-head with ink all over.

this is one condition where a slap might be necessary.

i dont think a slap is gonna solve it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Where is the poster by the way,let him answer the aspects where his wife usually compares him to her ex,well as for me i will give her a final warning and if it persists,that might be the end of the marraige.But for those of you that suggested he improves on those angle,i think that is taming a wild cat with fresh and bloody meat because the day you do not have such to render you might be the meat.Tha means that should he do as she says just because he wants to protect her and gain control over her feelings,you know women na,she would take an undue advantage and come up with other things that would be worst and she would expect him to keep doing it.chikina

you have to be a man. She deos not respect you. Firmly tell her not to repeat such talk. I wont support hitting her. That is wrong. Use different ways to push ur point. U also hav to take the hint. She just let u know how she feels.

my brother, u r doing something wrong. How can ur wife talk to u wit such disrespect. Maybe, u r too available physically and emotionally. She sees that u r too in luv so she knows she can do anything and get away with it. Scarcity enhances value. Be a bit scarce.

I believe u know wat to do.

It is kinda sad that you married such a woman , she isnt ready for marriage!

Sweet T:

Forget about it bro'. a woman will always be a woman. Good thing is a woman' private parts is not a meter, otherwise some women's meter will have run down by now. Or we thank God say they don't write it on a woman's fore-head everytime she has sex, otherwise some women will be carrying a fore-head with ink all over.

The same thing applies to men.

Why is it that men are allowed to sleep with every Jane, Jill and Mary but women are susposed to have only one mate for thier whole lives?
A woman always has the opp. to sleep around more than men. Just for the simple fact that we are women. But it does not mean that we do. Just cuz she is comparing him to an ex does not mean that she had 50 of them. All it means is that she sleept with at least one other dude besides her husband.

Stop with the double standard shit.  This is 2009 for God's sake!!!!!!!

some of una na ENEMIES OF PROGRESS - how would somebody advise a man to SLAP A WOMAN!!! what would dat solve?

anyhow - look DIALOGUE is the best remedy for most things and unfortunately it is something that some of us Africans have to perfect - not just talking but COMMUNICATING the important issues and trying to resolve it with little embarrassment, and anger!

talk to her about these comparisons WHY she does it - it may be she only wants you to listen to her wants and please her how she wants to be pleased (sexually) - so maybe if you took on board her comments and told her there are better ways of putting these across that are less hurtful to you she will listen - NO WOMAN WANTS TO INTENTIONALLY HURT A MAN SHE LOVES.

if her remarks a general then find out what she wants you to do that will make her stop this - work together - MARRIAGE IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE TAKEN AS LIGHTLY AS SOME OF YOU THINK - in when its smooth, out when the heat goes up a few notches - no way out - YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE BEFORE GOD AND MAN and so unless your reason is darn good - do not break those vows so easily - what examples are you setting for the younger generations and indeed your children and younger ones (if you have any)

Asomugha:I support viparman that is jst d best answer to a situation like this.

sistawoman:

The same thing applies to men.

Why is it that men are allowed to sleep with every Jane, Jill and Mary but women are susposed to have only one mate for thier whole lives?
A woman always has the opp. to sleep around more than men. Just for the simple fact that we are women. But it does not mean that we do. Just cuz she is comparing him to an ex does not mean that she had 50 of them. All it means is that she sleept with at least one other dude besides her husband.

Stop with the double standard shit. This is 2009 for God's sake!!!!!!!

Thats just the way it is, 2009 or 2999!!!
get with the program,

there is no smoke without fire,don't tell me it all started on your honeymoon,the issue may appear complicated but it is not beyond control.First, you need to examine yourself,try to trace the beginning of this dilemma as much as possible. You might have went off the line at a point.Marriage is a very big institution and is filled with ups and downs.You have to handle the situation with maturity.Remember: frail creatures are we all,to be the best is but the fewest faults to have.try to show her more affection,bring out the positive values in her.your wife is your most valued treasure.make her to see how important she is to you,show her love,caring,thats all she wants from you-drop your pride man and love your wife.You alone will make your wife the way you want her to be. Trust in God,he will set you free. I wish you success bro

i dnt think divorce is the best option.u shld try and talk 2 her hrt 2 hrt.u are already in it so u hv 2 mk it work.

sistawoman:

The same thing applies to men.

Why is it that men are allowed to sleep with every Jane, Jill and Mary but women are susposed to have only one mate for thier whole lives?
A woman always has the opp. to sleep around more than men. Just for the simple fact that we are women. But it does not mean that we do. Just cuz she is comparing him to an ex does not mean that she had 50 of them. All it means is that she sleept with at least one other dude besides her husband.

Stop with the double standard shit.  This is 2009 for God's sake!!!!!!!

Because men do the banging, and women do the taking.

Men woo, women get wooed

Men hardly attach emotions to the sex, women usually do.

Men are not the ones that are incubated for up to 9 months and left with a baby.

Most men are bothered about their woman's number of partners, some women actually get attracted especially to players that have been with several women.

Overall, men have to work for it. women just have to take it if they want.

They are different species, hence different rules.

That is why men can take the liberty more than women can. Deal with it!

But mind you, no one can force you to do anything. If you like sleep with a 1000 men, there is no law against it.

my man i strongly believe that your is still into her past lovers,wat you should do is to try your best at satisfyin her otherwise my broda 'spinna go service madam'

bro, get 2 work.work out ur marriage.whatever she says u'rnt doing well,pls work on it. dnt threaten divorce if u'r not sure u can handle a break up. not like u shld over indulge her behaviour but be wise with ur words whenever she compares u wt others.diplomatic approach is d best approach 2 a lasting marriage. keep telling her ur mind abt d comparison.

I hate to be the minority on this one, Just think about it, if she didnt wanna be with you, she probably would have left your ass a long time ago. Give her the benefit of the doubt. You prolly aint the greatest hubby or boyfriend she ever had, but she's giving you the opportunity to prove yourself. Hell, if she didnt want you, she would have stayed with her ex !!

Just out of curiosity, have you asked outright if she's cheating My guess would be, NO !! That would be coz you already know he answer! Women these days are not property despite the fact that you pay dowry, they are your lifelong partner, make them know or remind them of the fact.

I've had girls/women compare me to their ex, but I didnt take it to heart the wrong way, matter of fact, they helped me be a better partner.

She needs some deliverance, absolutely she is cheating on you ,

@Poster

Man, you have a very serious problem on your hand.More serious than you take it to be.This is why it's always good for a guy to find out all he can about his woman's past before taking the relationship to the next level.

If she has the balls to call her Ex-studs in your presence or absence, that means one thing.You mean nothing to her.Even if you weren't married to her and you were both cultivating a serious relationship, anything in her past should have been put away.For her to compare with them, men, i don't know how i would react to that.In other words, what she is trying to say is you are not man enough for her and that's the cold truth.

I assume her comparisons have to do with bed matters.If that's the case, try to satisfy her orally everytime make love to her (either with fingers or cunninglingus).Make sure she cums before you get into her.If she's still complaining after all this, then it's time to call that marriage quits.

@ adecisco

you're probably right,

but still i'll freak out cos its a sick situation. Jeeeezus!

Believe me, your wife is still screwing her Ex, that is what they do when such comes up.

i believe your wife is not the very first date you ever had. if not, then you could start by calling names of females you ever dated/slept with and recount your experience to her. be detailed about every session you ever had with your past sex life and watch her reaction.
tell her if she was that good she could take the lead and teach you those stuff that her past jide or james or eze or segun ever did and she will see if you don't have a newer version.
on your own part, if you lack what it takes then seek advice to measure up, read magazines, watch movies, learn some tricks on how to get the heat on while the flame burns.
i had an experience in my past relationship, i was still feeble and new to sex. my woman just lie there and i get up when am done but she never complains. the very day i had her twice in a row with so much strenght because she was to leave for a whole 3 weeks, she asked me how come it was so different today. i knew i just started living up to it and i took it upon myself to explore this sex tin. today, its a different story, no woman ever complain, sometimes i get off them cos they cum multiple and am yet to start.