I would like to begin my accepting your apology. Thank you.

Nobody is perfect in religion, we are all learning and growing with each others help as well as through discourse.

In regards to my previous statement about the old testament, based on my understanding the old testament as well as the laws contained in them were given to the israelites (jews) and not the gentiles (modern day Christians) as means to govern them and keep them until the promise of a Savior for the world, a descendant from Abraham would be fulfilled. these laws were also put in place to keep the jews as a people distinct from the gentiles.

This was prophesied in the old testament:

Jeremiah 31:31 "BEHOLD, DAYS ARE COMING, DECLARES THE LORD, WHEN I WILL MAKE A NEW COVENANT WITH THE HOUSE OF ISRAEL AND WITH THE HOUSE OF JUDAH"

In the new testament:

Hebrew 8:13 "when he said "a new covenant" he has made the first obsolete. But whatever is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to disappear"

Luke 22:20 " this cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood"

Based on these passages and a few more I was taught that these are some of the reasons why Christians for the most part do not follow the laws of the old testament as least not strictly. Based on the old testament we are not to eat shellfish, work on the sabbath which is actually begins on Friday evening to Saturday evening, but we Christians have moved our day of worship to Sunday. to be honest im not really sure what the truth is as vie heard different interpretations from different pastors and sunday school teachers and the like.

this debate on the rules of the old testament as it relates to Christians is a little controversial and no school or though or branch of the christian religion has come to agreeance over it. At the end of the day, i know that i mostly follow the teachings and laws of the new testament, and draw the wisdom of the old testament as well.

Please where does it say that women can not divorce men? I was told by my pastor that when the bible utilizes the word "he" it is to be interpreted in a plural form as when Jesus or one of the disciples are speaking to a group of people. we should only interpret "he or him" when they are specifically speaking about the male gender. if this isn't the case then the majority of laws and rules in the bible is not applicable to women at all. we have to keep in mind that in the new testament many of the laws regarding divorce was when the pharisees (which were men) were questioning Jesus about divorce and he replied to them. Unfortunately the bible is written as a biography of sorts from the interpretation of the disciples and prophets which were men. (meaning they will ask Jesus questions as it pertains to themselves and will record it as such, which i will add is NOT A PROBLEM TO ME)
Anyways, to the best of my knowledge there is no documented passage where a woman or group of women questioned Jesus about divorce.

But regardless in Mark 10:4-5
"they said "moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away, but jesus said to them. "because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this commandment"

Mark 10:11-12
"and he said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery"

This is the proof here that Jesus was talking about both sexes and their ability to divorce, though in this particular passage he does not mention the only reason for divorce which is adultery OR abandonment. He mentions that in Matthew 19:9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery" BUT also in Matthew 5:32 "But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery". Like i said before in THIS case this scripture is applicable to both men and women. This is how it has been interpreted by every church ive attended as well as every pastor ive ever asked as well as scriptural teaching i have read online.

and abandonment reason is which is found 1 COR7:15 "Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace,"

in the case of abandonment it is the other spouse who gets the divorce as they do not believe in the covenant of marriage as it pertains to the christian religion

Thanks

postmann:


Firstly, my apologies for saying you're not a good Christian. I drew that conclusion from your own error in saying the old testament scriptures I quoted are for jews only. That's flat out wrong.

2ndly, that statistics is universally applicable. Which is more conservative even in marriage, the US or Nigeria? Even a kid knows Nigeria is much more conservative. So judging from your logic, the satiatic will awinh very negatively against devorced women here.And thats a fact! Common sense dictates that a man or woman who can't stay in a first marriage is very unlikely to stay in the 2nd. And for the few percent of 2nd marriages that don't end in another divorce, chock with infidelity.

Like most women, you speak through your emotions and you are devoid of facts.

You should back up your claims form the bible where women can divorce since we now know that you're a good Christian. Women can ONLY separate from their husband but can't divorce. Until the death of their husbands, they remain bound to them.

This is not an attack as you claim. It is a statement of fact. And I don't hate women. But I know feminists are millenary nuisance.

And of course most 21st century women have a problem with truth when it comes to their boundaries.

I don't surport maltriment of women in marriage. Don't put that as an accusation against me. I never said that.

What I'm saying is simple enough for the humble, of course.

21st century women have equal opportunities so why should they accept/settle for less?

PS: y'all should stop with your nonsensical bible quotes geez. Marriage is an institution that people engage in irrespective of their religion so the topic should be viewed from morality and values angle which i strongly believe has nothing to do with religion

Toks2008:
All over the world,women divorce their hubbies for so many reasons but statistics have shown that infidelity tops the list especially in this part of the world where polygamy has become the norm,but the question is;does it make sense for a lady to divorce her hubby over infidelity when same man can as well decide and indeed marry more wives?

I want ladies to understand this one vital point that most and i mean MOST HUSBANDS will cheat on their wives even if they are married to angels and the fact that your husband cheats on you does not mean he does not deeply love and desire you.

Please don't get it twisted...Not all men cheat and adultery is a sin before GOD and all adulterers be a man or woman shall end up in hell but i am not here to preach any sermon but to face reality head on.

Many ladies are always quick to say they can not stand an adulterer as a husband and some will threaten to rain fire and brimstone on a philandering hubby but in case you discover your hubby cheats on you please what would you do?

1.Would you rather leave your marriage, remain single and celibate for life?

2.Would you rather leave your adulterous hubby and start sleeping about with other men who are probably randy or husbands of other women?

3.Would you keep changing the new man to start all over with another if he also cheats on you?

4.Would you prefer to stay with an adulterous hubby and also shamelessly philander about in the bid to seek a revenge?

5.Would you prefer to stay with a philandering hubby,live a decent lifestyle and focus on your life and that of your children and just see him as a sex partner warning him to use protection if he must eat out?

6.Would you prefer a sexually decent hubby to take a new wife because he says he hates sleeping with random women?

Please don't answer with "none of the above because if you are in that position,you will certainly be faced with an option.

This is what i want many married ladies to know and i can't stress it enough..There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop a man to be polygamous either by sleeping around or taking a second wife "IF" he wants to and you can't even nag him out of it but In order to have a good stand if your hubby cheats on you,be a good wife first by being very humble,GOD fearing,Excellent cook,Financially independent,a crazy LovePeddler only to your hubby then watch and see.

Many ladies make some adulterous hubbies feel too important.Don't even think about worrying your head about your husband's fidelity but warn him to use protection if he must keep mistresses...i bet he will be so scared that he will sit up. Unfortunately many ladies just give their husband an excuse to have that Alpha ego whenever they rant and give them heat over an inconsequential emotionally vulnerable side dish.

There are more interesting things in life so please don't spoil your fun by hinging your happiness on your hubby's infidelity to you..trust me,If every married lady can care less if her husband cheats and just focus on developing her life and that of her child(ren),how happy many marriages will be. Its not difficult,,its a thing of the mind.

Hope this makes a little sense.

ive never cheated. and yes! im a man.

Toks2008:
All over the world,women divorce their hubbies for so many reasons but statistics have shown that infidelity tops the list especially in this part of the world where polygamy has become the norm,but the question is;does it make sense for a lady to divorce her hubby over infidelity when same man can as well decide and indeed marry more wives?

I want ladies to understand this one vital point that most and i mean MOST HUSBANDS will cheat on their wives even if they are married to angels and the fact that your husband cheats on you does not mean he does not deeply love and desire you.

Please don't get it twisted...Not all men cheat and adultery is a sin before GOD and all adulterers be a man or woman shall end up in hell but i am not here to preach any sermon but to face reality head on.

Many ladies are always quick to say they can not stand an adulterer as a husband and some will threaten to rain fire and brimstone on a philandering hubby but in case you discover your hubby cheats on you please what would you do?

1.Would you rather leave your marriage, remain single and celibate for life?

2.Would you rather leave your adulterous hubby and start sleeping about with other men who are probably randy or husbands of other women?

3.Would you keep changing the new man to start all over with another if he also cheats on you?

4.Would you prefer to stay with an adulterous hubby and also shamelessly philander about in the bid to seek a revenge?

5.Would you prefer to stay with a philandering hubby,live a decent lifestyle and focus on your life and that of your children and just see him as a sex partner warning him to use protection if he must eat out?

6.Would you prefer a sexually decent hubby to take a new wife because he says he hates sleeping with random women?

Please don't answer with "none of the above because if you are in that position,you will certainly be faced with an option.

This is what i want many married ladies to know and i can't stress it enough..There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop a man to be polygamous either by sleeping around or taking a second wife "IF" he wants to and you can't even nag him out of it but In order to have a good stand if your hubby cheats on you,be a good wife first by being very humble,GOD fearing,Excellent cook,Financially independent,a crazy LovePeddler only to your hubby then watch and see.

Many ladies make some adulterous hubbies feel too important.Don't even think about worrying your head about your husband's fidelity but warn him to use protection if he must keep mistresses...i bet he will be so scared that he will sit up. Unfortunately many ladies just give their husband an excuse to have that Alpha ego whenever they rant and give them heat over an inconsequential emotionally vulnerable side dish.

There are more interesting things in life so please don't spoil your fun by hinging your happiness on your hubby's infidelity to you..trust me,If every married lady can care less if her husband cheats and just focus on developing her life and that of her child(ren),how happy many marriages will be. Its not difficult,,its a thing of the mind.

Hope this makes a little sense.

yes it does but the greater sense is to divorce a spouse if u cant cope rather than stab him or her to death while sleeping.a lawyer-wife just did that cos the hubby has ababy with another babe in france.

mizquote:
Op must be a Yoruba man.

What of silly statement is this? Are you okay at all? yeye.

@topic

I really wonder why our air-headed counterparts are getting all hot and bothered. There is really no issue here. Adultery is not something to be toyed with or rationalized. Its a terrible thing and it destroys. For instance, the statement below is absolutely and shockingly preposterous:

Don't even think about worrying your head about your husband's fidelity but warn him to use protection if he must keep mistresses...

Da fuqqq?? Warn your husband to use protections while chooking an ashi?? OP na wa for you ooooooooo.

Further this male vs female thingy is totally unnecessary. Any right thinking female, not irredeemably blinded by feminism, will easily see OP is not speaking for men.

i agree with your statement as well. I was just answering his questions as it seemed he would not take me seriously unless i quoted the bible in regards to divorce as he requested.

but i tire sha...if he no agree see my point then he never will. so ill just simply stop replying. i guess ill see how he responds.

jaybee3:
21st century women have equal opportunities so why should they accept/settle for less?

PS: y'all should stop with your nonsensical bible quotes geez. Marriage is an institution that people engage in irrespective of their religion so the topic should be viewed from morality and values angle which i strongly believe has nothing to do with religion

cococandy:
What would the guys do in such situations?
That's what we will do.

Yeye questions.

if na guy, he will beat you up,emergency meeting with ur parents and at the end he will divorce you and say u bi ashawo

Any man tht cheats or sleeps around is a dog simple! U dnt av d ryt to call women bitches, hoes, sluts and what nots for sleeping around, when u think urself smart for sleeping around.

The OP is always hypocritical. When the mad dog wt no self control brings home STI, like, HIV and all, tht poor woman wld also share frm it. Many women come down wt cervical cancer later in life as a result of their husband's multiple sexual partner, I knw women tht died from AIDS just cos they were enduring a dog as a husband.
I wld rather stay sexless than endure what I dnt av to. They keep telling women to endure shit when they themselves wld throw her out if she did same

Phema:
OP, you forgot to include;

6. Would you prefer to marry a philandering man, wait till he makes good money, kill him afterwards and inherit all his wealth?

Now, that is an option worth considering.

u must b an origin of IMO state.

Hmmmmm

Women are not an object someone should own and staying with a cheating husband could be detrimental to their health and could as well put their entire family at risk of STD.
My own is that every women should think through their decision before going through divorcé.
Training children alone without their father could be nasty

Timbuktou:


You have answered your first paragraph in your second. There's no need to list that option because it goes without saying that the woman never married or intended to marry a cheater. The cheater was, in the beginning, a "faithful man" wasn't he?

And then you say there's a lie that all men cheat, that's true. It is a lie. But in a case where the woman finds her second "faithful husband" has cheated, what is she to do with the five options listed in the OP? We can address this thread based on the OP or you could just start your own counter-thread.

Word!!!

Toks2008:
The last time i checked,these questioons were meant for married ladies and not teenagers or unmarried ladies in their adolescent ages.

and so far, the answers given are by married women.

are you married yourself.

KanwuliaJara:
1. NO 2. NO 3. NO 4. NO 5. NO
Reason for ALL 5?
I am a better "PHILANDERESS"! No man can beat me at that kind of game o! Abi, I nefa "PROOF" am? I go TANDA whia I dey KAMKPEEEEEEE !!!
No need to SWAP one HE-GOAT FOR ANOTHER ABI?
He-goat na he-goat abegggggi!!!!

I trust you say you good die!!

gemale:
op no try @ all. 2 dey advise women 2 tolerate cheating husbands no good @ all. Both partners r supposed 2 b mutually faithful 2 each oda. A cheating partner has already eroded d foundation of trust dt marriage is supposed 2 b built on so y shld a woman cheated on stay in a marriage dt makes her sad? If d partner cheated on decides 2 4gv & move on, ok bt if dey decide 2 end d marriage, u cant blame dem. Its nt everybody dt can tolerate a cheating spouse & being a man or woman is no license 4 1 2 cheat on ones spouse. If op isnt a hypocrite, let him give men d same advice when their wives cheat.

thank u o jare.

the day I will take him serious is the day he gives this same advice to his fellow males.

I am not a married woman neither am I in a relationship, but I can say with all confidence that should I get married or be in a relationship, I will be faithful to him and I expect same from him. it swings both ways. not all women can put up with a cheating spouse. I will rather leave and be single than have heart attack over someone who has chosen not to respect me.

good luck to the woman who decides to put up with a cheating spouse because of what the likes of this op with his sexist views think.

okay

Phema:
OP, you forgot to include;

6. Would you prefer to marry a philandering man, wait till he makes good money, kill him afterwards and inherit all his wealth?

Now, that is an option worth considering.

I want to believe you are from a particular tribe in Nigeria that their women used to kill their husband and take over the wealth. Later they will realise they need a man in their life and they will start to run after another woman's husband in other to satisfy their sexual urge.

iambijo:
if na guy, he will beat you up,emergency meeting with ur parents and at the end he will divorce you and say u bi ashawo

Ooooh I'm shaking in fear because divorcing a philandering mofo is the worst thing that can ever happen to anyone.

This is Toks
Toks is a misogynistic pig
Toks is a hypocrite who can't eat same shit he wants to dole out to others
Toks is a stupid boy
Do not be like Toks

That said, I can swear I get hot feelings too each time I meet some guys with hot bodies and those amazing blue eyes, I fantasize about screwing some of these men, and some times I joke about it with my man.
As much as my body has these urges, I do not act on them because I am a human not an animal with no self control.

I find it utterly stupid therefore for a man to excuse cheating. Nobody enjoys screwing the same thing, same size, same skin texture, same muscle, same moaning sounds and all that shit. No body likes eating same food everyday, we all like variety with everything in life. Even women fantasize and some times they get opportunities to actualize these fantasies but they chose not to

EggovinMma:
When married,4.

two wrongs don't make a right. In dis part of the world, the females get hard knocks while d males are overlooked as regards infidelity.

Toks2008:
All over the world,women divorce their hubbies for so many reasons but statistics have shown that infidelity tops the list especially in this part of the world where polygamy has become the norm,but the question is;does it make sense for a lady to divorce her hubby over infidelity when same man can as well decide and indeed marry more wives?

I want ladies to understand this one vital point that most and i mean MOST HUSBANDS will cheat on their wives even if they are married to angels and the fact that your husband cheats on you does not mean he does not deeply love and desire you.

Please don't get it twisted...Not all men cheat and adultery is a sin before GOD and all adulterers be a man or woman shall end up in hell but i am not here to preach any sermon but to face reality head on.

Many ladies are always quick to say they can not stand an adulterer as a husband and some will threaten to rain fire and brimstone on a philandering hubby but in case you discover your hubby cheats on you please what would you do?

1.Would you rather leave your marriage, remain single and celibate for life?

2.Would you rather leave your adulterous hubby and start sleeping about with other men who are probably randy or husbands of other women?

3.Would you keep changing the new man to start all over with another if he also cheats on you?

4.Would you prefer to stay with an adulterous hubby and also shamelessly philander about in the bid to seek a revenge?

5.Would you prefer to stay with a philandering hubby,live a decent lifestyle and focus on your life and that of your children and just see him as a sex partner warning him to use protection if he must eat out?

6.Would you prefer a sexually decent hubby to take a new wife because he says he hates sleeping with random women?

Please don't answer with "none of the above because if you are in that position,you will certainly be faced with an option.

This is what i want many married ladies to know and i can't stress it enough..There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop a man to be polygamous either by sleeping around or taking a second wife "IF" he wants to and you can't even nag him out of it but In order to have a good stand if your hubby cheats on you,be a good wife first by being very humble,GOD fearing,Excellent cook,Financially independent,a crazy LovePeddler only to your hubby then watch and see.

Many ladies make some adulterous hubbies feel too important.Don't even think about worrying your head about your husband's fidelity but warn him to use protection if he must keep mistresses...i bet he will be so scared that he will sit up. Unfortunately many ladies just give their husband an excuse to have that Alpha ego whenever they rant and give them heat over an inconsequential emotionally vulnerable side dish.

There are more interesting things in life so please don't spoil your fun by hinging your happiness on your hubby's infidelity to you..trust me,If every married lady can care less if her husband cheats and just focus on developing her life and that of her child(ren),how happy many marriages will be. Its not difficult,,its a thing of the mind.

Hope this makes a little sense.

This is a very useless post...exactly what is your point

Kachisbarbie:


Endurance ... 'patience' better still.




Naso.
You didn't get pissed at jmoore's question, but you got SO pissed because I 'discussed/elaborated' on his question.
Then your days of getting SO pissed on NL shall tarry... no offeinse

you haven't answered Timbuktou's question either... the man you were going to marry at first... Isn't he faithful till you found out he cheated...?!

We should do well to keep the relationship going. https://www.nairaland.com/2937918/10-likely-questions-interviewer-should

I usually laugh when women complain that their husbands are sleeping around. Would they prefer he called a meeting and says he is going to take in 2 new wives? If your husband cheats.....then you are not fulfilling your bedmatics duty.

freecocoa:
Really? Every man must cheat, if I ever for any reason believe this after my research, than that means I'm cheating in marriage, because whatever will make him cheat despite trying his best not to, (meaning he couldn't say no), will definitely happen to me too, leading me to cheat, as afterall, we are both humans with no self control.

Must you get married to him...?!

Toks2008:


Easy to say.

Si at 26 say you caught your hubby cheating then you will leave and never have sex again?

I hear you.

If the above are ur reasons, then why get married? For you, sex is the ultimate reason for marriage. Wouldn't it be better for a woman to just have a sex partners and have her own kids and focus on her career, than marrying and then viewing her husband as a sex partner cos of infidelity. I don't believe in settling for less cos of low standards of morality. Divorce after infidelity is a personal choice in which many issues should be considered before the decision. But the reasons u have given is as flimsy as the word flimsy

jadelyn007:
This is Toks
Toks is a misogynistic pig
Toks is a hypocrite who can't eat same shit he wants to dole out to others
Toks is a stupid boy
Do not be like Toks

That said, I can swear I get hot feelings too each time I meet some guys with hot bodies and those amazing blue eyes, I fantasize about screwing some of these men, and some times I joke about it with my man.
As much as my body ht act on them because I am a human not an animal with no self control.

I find it utterly stupid therefore for a man to excuse cheating. Nobody enjoys screwing the same thing, same size, same skin texture, same muscle, same moaning sounds and all that shit. No body likes eating same food everyday, we all like variety with everything in life. Even women fantasize and some times they get opportunities to actualize these fantasies but they chose not to

If only it is possible not to have teenagers and ladies who have no clueof what marriage ia all about comment on this thread.

Most comments i have seen so far are from ladies who are still living in fantasy.

This is a realistic thread and how i wish even after these ladies with wild adrenaline make their odoriferous remarks, they end up answering the questions i asked..WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF FACED WITH SUCH SITUATION?Period.

If you like curse me from here to the skies,it does not change the fact on ground that most guys cheat on their wives and even if i preach from now till kingdom comes,it will not chnage the polygamous nature of men so start living with this fact or dont bother getting married.

this OP is a misogynist, I wonder why his topics keeps getting pushed to FP. What does that say about NL I am very sorry for your future wife OP cos all your opinions are just about surpressing women. So a woman should stay with a cheating husband right? even when she knows he is cheating Do you know the emotional consequence of that Have you heard of emotional breakdown Pls dont annoy me, it's too early for this non.sense

Let's flip your stupi.d ideology round for a moment. What if it was the wife sleeping around should the husband divorce her?

Some men giving reasons for their dog-like behavior! Must you get married?

If you cannot be faithful in a marriage by all means remain single!

Omotayor123:

I use the word crazy because your 5 questions only give married women one Option And that is to stay with a philanderer husband.

Don't women deserve more than that Why should women stay with a philanderer Why not talk to the men to be a faithful and caring husband Men deserves a faithful wife but women don't deserve a faithful husband shey

The thing dey vex me seriously. No, I'm not married But I will sooner or later.
Letz say A big No to Cheaters!!!

please... don't get married...

cococandy:


@bold, gbam. Exactly.

You guys lead. We follow.

If you will stay married to the lady and endure her lover after lover, pray for her to change and protect the marriage from divorce even when the lady can't stop sleeping around, we will.

If you won't, we won't.

Hehehehehehe!!!

I can't imagine my wife distributing my personal belonging to other men oh! Straight up, divorce! Even if she just kissed a man (knowingly or unknowingly), then divorce is a must...

However, if am not man enough to keep myself from cheating when am married, then I don't deserve a faithful wife either...

It's a vice versa thingy...

OP this ur write up is very insulting to faithful wives!!!!....a married woman should decide what she wants to do with a cheating husband,why does she have to stay with a dishonest and cheating man ?....there are lot of things preaching don't solve....any woman that accept what you wrote hook,line an sinker is a goner!!!!