~Sauron~:

How many can one marry at a time??
Choosing one out of 200 seems to be the problem.
They all look ravishing.

Do eeny meeny miney mo
It has never failed me

tope2000:

Amen to that in bold
May God bless you
U have have wisely spoken . . . . .many naija men dont know how to work as a team with their partnes at all
Its so SAD. . . . sometimes i just imagine if marriage is really worth it esp seeing how many naija men behaves . . .too much ego n pride

i am saying this in love. it is same problem dome men have with some naija women.  it is more a societal issue than gender issue.  did you notice most of our men were raised by mothers.  my mum had only 2 boys. she always told us God knew we could do what  daughters could do for her.  by God grace me and my bros gave her and my granny the best we could becos they both poured into us all they had especially my granny.

my gran ma always told us no son of hers would treat another person daughter bad. infact from the time we were small that was what we heard.  we didnt know it then she brain washed us and over praised us into doing things for her grand daughters we would not have naturally done.  she made sure we all lived together and looked after one another. today we are almost all in different continets but are still close.

all men were not raised to see women as trouble

~Sauron~:

There is an army of sexy lasses in Holloway, ma friend.

I agree but this is theoretically based.
It's a different thing to know what one wants, it's another thing to find the right woman.
There's no perfect woman but the level of imperfection these days makes Queen Jezebel look like Mother Theresa.

true sir  but there are no perfect men either.  theory! forget about theory my bros.  the no 1 reason these things are becoming theories these days is there are too few good men standing.

there is nothing you compromise to get that will be a lasting blessing.  most of us are too readilly willing to jump into bed with jezebel and expecting to get the reward of marrying a sarah.  

a good wife is ALWAYS from the good Lord. we know where the bad one comes from.  some many years ago  as a naive young man i nearly manufactured myself one.  thankfully a lovely good freind off loaded her off me deceitfully i must add. they had 3 kids in 9yrs. sadly he is resting in eternity now.  gone too soon as they say in naija.

there is no harm in waiting for the right one.  we dont have to rush into everything in skirts.  i am talking from hard learnt experience brother.  if we have value for ourself and desire to  acheive much in life we owe ourself the duty of saying No to everything that wont last us the journey we are embarking on.  there is always a price to pay for everything good.  id ont know why we think we will not pay for all this bed with rose today, sarah tomorrow and sister wonderful next tomorrow.

i learntthat you have more to loose as a man in life when you go into wrong relationships.  what has been your expeience or what is your opinion on this kind sir?

Shouldn't husband and wife strive to love and be supportive of each other.

What I've read here is highly disappointing. . . .well, we now know the the stones from the rice.

@Poster

I think you should throw your idea of marriage out of the window.

So pregnancy does not give a woman the right to be lazy, so why should marriage allow men to be lazy?

Obviously, you're looking for a nanny at this point. When you really know what marriage involves, then you can look for a wife

When you wear that ring, you best be ready to take off the bachelor gown

*yawn* Big surprise that this thread took the turn for predictable gibberish

ThiefOfHearts:

*yawn* Big surprise that this thread took the turn for predictable gibberish

i wish mods/ seun will lock up threads like dis, instead of locking up debos thread

@topic

if i did not know any better i will say u r d one pregnant here,jeezzz must u men nag all d time

That is a parasite not a wife!

I do not believe in sharing duties in marriage. I do believe in both parties being adults and acting like one by doing what they are supposed to do at the appropriate time. If Kanayo's wife really love her marriage, she should be sensitive on how her husband feels too. It's not only women that are sensitive. While I do not have any problem at all as a husband doing house chores, the wife shouldn't lazy around just because she is crippled by pregnancy. Like someone said, pregnancy is not a disease.

There are many single women that are pregnant who work to pay their bills, do their household chores during the pregnancy without the help of anybody. It's not entirely healthy for the woman to be sedentary during pregnancy because it may have serious consequences during labour.

My fiance went back to grad school and I don't know whether she'll quit the school if she eventually become pregnant and stay home all day watching desperate housewives and nollywood. I wouldn't take out my precious time telling my fellow adult on how labour should be divided when she knows what is right. My mom was a lecturer and she did whatever she could during pregnancy and all that so I don't see why your wife's pregnancy is any different. Is she carrying Osama Bin laden in her womb?. I blame you tho because it seems you knew she was lazy yet you married her because you were smitten with her beauty and hoped she'll change with time. In igbo we say "anagi amu aka ekpe na nka" meaning you can't learn how to use your left hand at old age.

@ Poster,

After reading your input, I seem a bit confused to the topic. Should the topic have been:

a) What's The Duty of Pregnant Wife In Marriage?

b) What's A Woman's Duty in Marriage?

That said, there are no two words to your woman. She is a parasitic loafer (My apologies, she is still your wife though). Early pregnancy does not imply a period of laziness. I suggest you communicate with her, to state where you are aggrieved on this matter. Probably she has plausible explanations to her plight which you as a man may not see at the moment.

Nevertheless, this is a clarion call to all the men out there, no all that glitters is gold. Too many nonsense around these days.

@ Poster,

After reading your input, I seem a bit confused to the topic. Should the topic have been:

a) What's The Duty of Pregnant Wife In Marriage?

b) What's A Woman's Duty in Marriage?

That said, there are no two words to your woman. She is a parasitic loafer (My apologies, she is still your wife though). Early pregnancy does not imply a period of laziness. I suggest you communicate with her, to state where you are aggrieved on this matter. Probably she has plausible explanations to her plight which you as a man may not see at the moment.

Nevertheless, this is a clarion call to all the men out there, no all that glitters is gold. Too many nonsense around these days.

I do not believe she just started showing signs of her laziness during pregnancy. That kanayo guy must have seen it before marrying and thought that everything will be okay with time. I think it's better you make the clarion call to both sexes, if you know your man/woman has a habit you just can't tolerate, discuss it with him/her before marriage. If he/she refuse to give it up, step.

JJYOU:

i don't know why we think we will not pay for all this bed with rose today, sarah tomorrow and sister wonderful next tomorrow.

They are all parts of growing up. . . . . . Mental development.
What is there to pay for sleeping with Alexandra, Rose n Sarah??

i learnt that you have more to loose as a man in life when you go into wrong relationships.  what has been your expeience or what is your opinion on this kind sir?

It depends on the commitment. . . . . . .
If you don't aim too high, your level of disappointment would be minimal.
I don't really expect 100% from anyone so when they bring 10% to the table. . . . . . .It's a bearable loss(that is if it's a loss at all).

Pataki:

Nevertheless, this is a clarion call to all the men out there, no all that glitters is gold. Too many nonsense around these days.

Especially the breed of bitter women populating the forum these days . . . .
Buncha irresponsible schleppers.

Pataki



@ half of page 6

women bashers Inc. 

:DTo be the 'minister of home affairs' in her husbands house

Sisi Jinx:
The day a man can push out something the size of a water melon out of a pocket size hole is the day they can dictate what a woman can and can't do while she is pregnant. Until then, I suggest you all PUT A SOCK IN IT!!!!!!!

Nonsense!!

Kai! take am easy na. . But thats the point, ist it? there are basic physiological, emotional and psychological differences that defines the roles of each partner. Obvoiusly men dont posses em. . .pocket size hole (THANKFULLY). . ., so that role is their(women) exclusive preserve.

aba mai gidan na, Ka sani mana!!!

Okay here is a typical example of some people's mindset

When it is time to pay the bills. . . help mate.

Hmmm

That will be wrong of the man. it supposed to be his responsibility, but if she is willing to assist, why not. . .

When it is time to take care of the yaara. . . it's all her job.

Like I said, she is better suited for this job so what's da problem?
Sorry madam PERFECTION, I simply cannot be changing Junior's diapers while mata gida is reclining on the sofa. Yeah, I know you find this repulsive, but . . .   

ThiefOfHearts:

*yawn* Big surprise that this thread took the turn for predictable gibberish

Chai Men and food!!!

@Kanayo
After nine months I'll take your complaints seriously.

My wife's duty wouldnt be to work all day like a jack ass. Thats because before i would think of bringing a wife to the house i have have thought of neediing help in one way or the other. Cooking, laundry, and the like. She has to be fully in marriage. Means her Job shouldnt be a distraction. It would be very sadnin when i come come and she is not yet back from work, or food is not ready cos she has had a stressfull day, thats not marriage.

Kanayo, I really feel your pain, cause I have been in the same position for over 8 years. It’s really very frustrating. When you have a wife who feels you serving her is a birth right and not is expected of her in return. She only expresses any sense of responsibility when she has to do something for her kids or if any of her siblings is visiting.

Me: - Can you make me breakfast?
Her:- Am very tired I slept late yesterday.
Me:- ah! Ah!! How come you slept late?
Her:- Nothing.(meaning she must have been watching TV or on the internet).

When her sibling visits and they have to leave the house very early

Her:- Are you not going to eat before going out
Sibling:- Am alright, I will get something on the island.
Her:- No you must eat before going out.

You look at the whole issue and you feel like a BONZI, lol

Bottom line, you must really decide what you want, reduce your expectation, Ignore her and make yourself happy, become self supporting and pray that things change for the better or simply walk away. The biggest mistake you can make is to try to force her to change, from experience it will only get worse.

To be her mans better half.

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Pregnancy is not a disease really but at thesame time body differs,we react to hormones differently.
When I was pregnant,i was doing less not that i wasnt doing anything at all.
Have a heart to heart talk with her and show some understanding.Maybe u get her a help.and she shld knw that sitting down will not help her during delivery.

Pregnancy tends to make one Lazy but one has to brace up and fight the laziness.
Also try and understand that the site of kitchen alone not to talk of cooking is nauseating .

All the best

Early pregnancy is the worst hence the idea of giving badges to pregnant women so they can be given priority seats on the tube in London etc. If pregnancy had no impact at all on a woman's strenght, there wouldn't be talk of things like that. I'd suggest people who haven't been through it and probably never will because they are of different species should do some research. because ur mom could farm till kingdom come whilst pregnant does not mean your sister can do the same or your wife. Some rather unfortunate women you married or will be marrying.

Boslo:

Pregnancy tends to make one Lazy but one has to brace up and fight the laziness.

Pregnany doesn't make one lazy, it exhausts the whole body so you have no choice but to slow down, obviously to varying degrees in different women.

if household shores were solely 4 women, i'm sure God would'nt have failed to list them out in the bible instead of just saying women were to be men's helpmates. being that woteva a man were to do, a woman should help out. so u men, its all ur responsibilties. she's just helping around. so when she helpz, be it in the area of finances or in the home, u should be appreciative instead of condemming and complaining if for some good reason she's not able to help out more. belive me, pregnancy is good reason.

some men can be real selfish, thinking only for how it benefits them. thats not to say that women are saints. but if u want someone to be a better partner, u should try being better.

early pregnancy is the worst stage due to hormonal changes in the woman's body.it takes quite some time like 8 to 12wks for the body to adjust to the higher hormone levels and most times it varies,especially if it is the first pregnancy.it comes with nausea and vomiting and in some women it's so severe that vomiting may occur at any time of the day.the woman experiences one discomfort after another( bladder irritability,nausea and vomiting,back ache,loss of appetite,headache ,everything and everybody around you irritates you and so on,unfortunately you can't even take any drug to ease the discomfort cos of the baby,the doctor can only give you paracetamol,danacid,avomine which does'nt even stop the vomiting so be patient with her it will get easier as the pregnancy advances.you see human body react differently,the lucky ones don't experience any of these symptoms,when my sister-in -law was pregnant with her first child,though a banker she was strong all through and went for maternity leave a wk before her edd.but when my other sister-in - law was pregnant with her first child,everybody's prayer was for her to come out of it alive.when i was pregnant with my first i thought i was going to die,others go through morning sickness but mine was everytime,as early as 5am i was always up and vomiting,1am same thing i became so lean,so weak,thought of food alone makes me vomit.i was totally useless in the house,i don't know how i managed not to get sacked at my place of work,you stand up and you feel faint,my husband got scared but everybody kept telling him it's normal and 4mnths after it all stopped,and of course it doesn't happen to my sistres.so you take it easy with your wife with time her body will adjust,just try and accomodate her,complaints is the last thing she needs from you right now.you can do your own research about pregnancy and the changes you are bound to see in expectant mother and the causes,you can read books like everywoman,pregnancy etc.or talk to pregnant women and mothers and i'm sure when you hear their experiences,it will help you understand the duty of a pregnant woman in marriage.

Mai Suya:

Kai! take am easy na. . But thats the point, ist it? there are basic physiological, emotional and psychological differences that defines the roles of each partner. Obvoiusly men dont posses em. . .pocket size hole (THANKFULLY). . ., so that role is their(women) exclusive preserve.

That will be wrong of the man. it supposed to be his responsibility, but if she is willing to assist, why not. . .

Like I said, she is better suited for this job so what's da problem?
Sorry madam PERFECTION, I simply cannot be changing Junior's diapers while mata gida is reclining on the sofa. Yeah, I know you find this repulsive, but . . .   

Aaaah haaa. . . Haka ne??!!

Thanks for telling me. . . makes it easier to abandon you with junior nipping at your ankles.

Let's see who will change diaper now.

seriously though, you are right. . . men are not equipped to push, therefore they don't know how it feels, which is more reason to shut their pieholes.

Gaskiya, no?!!

well if you asked me I would say man don do him own, some times ago God told Adam, be fruitful and multiply and so they did, just after he told them that they would suffer and it was not going to be easy as he said that man will suffer and toil the soil before he would feed and then turned to woman and told Eve that she would suffer during child labour and that we al know as its not a new thing, so why is it that women want men to console them as if it was our fault. a man has done his part and suffered to make money and without this money woman will never get attracted to him or even marry him, Kpam!


now lets loook at the woman's part, woman must take in. labour and then have their children alone, Kpam! man should be in a beer parlour on the day of delivery celebrating with his friends for a job weldone hopping for the result of his hardwork he did to even, some women dey talk support for labour room, you need to see me laugh, come on na women can never think of such a better excuse to want to rule the world or have their cake after eating it, get a grip room, PLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ/

Sisi Jinx:

Aaaah haaa. . .  Haka ne??!!

Thanks for telling me. . . makes it easier to abandon you with junior nipping at your ankles.

Let's see who will change diaper now.

seriously though,  you are right. . .  men are not equipped to push, therefore they don't know how it feels, which is more reason to shut their pieholes.

Gaskiya, no?!!

KAI? abadon who?? but that's not the deal naa,  remember your vow to be a good husband worshiper wetin happen to your website sef? , part of the duties include never abandoning Junior with mai gida 

BTW menene 'piehole'? Na suya I dey sell o! I no go skool

Awww, Baby. . . piehole means baki!!

Ya know, the one y'all stuff all that pie or maybe in this case. . . all that Suya into while you sit on your behinds making rules on how a woman should feel, how she should feel it and when she should feel it during pregnancy.

Re: Website
Walahi, ban ni da time ne. . . too busy worshipping you, I guess.

wats a woman's role?
to be the neck that supports the body (whole family) while giving the head (man) the false illusion of ruling (it soothes their ego )

i have seen all your responses.

naturally as expected most women are in support of being idale cos of pregnancy.

they forget one thing that its a natural for them to do.

nobody is telling them to do anything from the extra ordinary.

women that are lazy see pregnancy as an excuse to idle and lazy away.

but in all i believe in support which i give to my wife and i expect her to supportive in all she does.

@ KANAYO

i have seen all your responses.

naturally as expected most women are in support of being idale cos of pregnancy.

they forget one thing that its a natural for them to do.

nobody is telling them to do anything from the extra ordinary.

women that are lazy see pregnancy as an excuse to idle and lazy away.

but in all i believe in support which i give to my wife and i expect her to supportive in all she does.[quote][/quote]
KAPAM! you have hit the nail on the head.

it is a woman's role to get married and get pregnant and also have kids, not just having kids as well as making sure that they are weaned and well bred along with the husband and society both moral and religious have roles to play in these.

now back to the family and roles of the husbands, a woman must take her pregnant role very crucial and important in her life as well as being a good mother and moral factor in her childrens life, she should not take pregnancy as an excuse or as her hsuband's cross because he got her pregnant. lol funny how women do these. hehehe, well it is for one a woman to be pregnant and then give birth which is half the job, the other half is making sure that she takes care of the child to a well bred and cultured way then the father does as well, just as a man works hard tilling the farm or feilds with his bear hands so does a woman have to till her children in whatsoever ways she thinks she can, no woman would want to marry a lazy man or a man that cant work or yeild fruits so as no man would want to marry a barren woman, paris persu

so in a nut shell when a woman is pregnant, the man should leave that as her point of responsibilty and cross to carry and then you should know that his sense of compassion and pity is what is called love and that love extends as a caring factor which made him to fall in for her and marry her. this love we are talking about is what is extended in the relationship quo which makes him do all these extra-manly affairs like taking care of her , sweeping the house and washing her clothes, taking care of the kids and also taking her post pregnancy sh***t, lol

its funny that some men in our society today mix these together and do not know their rights anymore . just as before the woman gets married to the man so does she continue to ride the man,

we all have our positions and how we run our roles depends on the individual, for me I will love that woman that would take my children in her and will do all I can to make sure that she doesnt suffer during this course but she must note that it is not an act I am doing because its my fault she is pregnant or its my role to do her house shores.

never marry a woman for the wrong reasons for you will live all your life the wrong reasons,

that right room?