How to talk about past relationships
The next time you come face to face with a
question about your past relationships and
the number of notches on your bed, keep
these pointers in mind.
It’ll help you answer well and your partner
will hear exactly what they want to her,
rather, what they should hear.
The do’s and don’ts of confessions
First of all, you have to understand that all
of us have a past. At times you may find
yourself in a relationship with someone
who’s not dated many people. When you
go out with someone who really doesn’t
have a sexual past as exciting or brag
worthy as yours, you really have to think
twice about telling all your secrets.
You’re with this special person today
because of the coincidences and
relationships you’ve experienced before.
And you really don’t have to feel bad about
your extensive list of past lovers once
you’ve settled down with someone else,
but you do have to be careful about what
you say to your new lover.
Remember, you can still tell the truth to
your new lover without going into explicit
details.
Past relationship confessions
When you start going out with someone
seriously, one of the first questions you
may face after reaching a certain level of
closure may be about your old flames.
Everyone wants to know how frisky their
mate has been in the past, and they want
to know as much of their partner’s past as
they possibly can.
But what you reveal can change your
relationship, always remember that.
You may have had previous partners, one
night stands or even sex buddies. Or you
may even have participated in activities
that are way past your lover’s moral
barrier, so watch what you say. Try to
avoid talking about your sexual partners as
far as possible, but if the push comes to
shove, then go for a very low figure, based
on your partner’s personality. Never ever
make your partner feel second-best, or
third or even fifteenth-best. Your present
lover is special, and this is the person you
want to be in love with, for the rest of time.
Let them know that.
Talking about the details
Even if your sweet love asks you to talk
about your feelings and wants explicit
graphic details of bedtime activities with
your ex, don’t do that. Things could only go
from bad to worse. If your ex lover used to
call you “tongue twister”, “mind blower”,
“Mr. Yummy”, or “Ms. Perky”, just avoid
mentioning that tiny detail. It’s not
necessary, and it is definitely not going to
help.
And if you’ve had a few one night stands or
even made out with a total stranger, you’re
on dangerous grounds.
If you don’t say anything, there’s always the
odd chance that your partner may find out
anyways. On the other hand, even if you’re
a great lover, the fact that you had a few
one night stands or experienced a sex-
with-a-stranger fantasy, will inadvertently
change the way your new partner looks at
this new relationship. Really, unless
someone’s had a one night stand
themselves, can they ever understand the
real circumstances that led to the sex in
the backseat or would they just think
you’re a Hot perv who just can’t wait to
stuff or get stuffed?
When it comes to talking about the
intimate details, skip the parts where you
went sowing your wild oats or let anything
that walks enter your doorway. It’ll change
your partner’s perspective about the
relationship. But do bring the topic up
someday, when you’re in a seasoned
relationship and have built enough trust
for your partner to overlook your wild
earlier days.
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