bellong:


Yoruba will say if a kind gesture of yesterday is appreciated, you set up yourself to receive another.

Whosoever don't know how to appreciate should learn to do it. If as adult you can't appreciate your spouse, how will you train your children the art of appreciation.

Words!

bellong:


Yoruba will say if a kind gesture of yesterday is appreciated, you set up yourself to receive another.

Whosoever don't know how to appreciate should learn to do it. If as adult you can't appreciate your spouse, how will you train your children the art of appreciation.

Some folks warrant a 'Toddler approach' to grasp basic life lessons.

My kid will say 'you're welcome mommy' to jerk a 'thank you' out of me when I forgot to acknowledge her good deeds. They say it to strangers too just so you know

Wassup B, how are the gods?

onegig:
If there is anything i fear in marriage. It is this issue of over familiarization to the point that people tend to neglect their chosen spouse and take them for granted. If there is anything that pains one to the bone. It's an unappreciative person.

Op. Just please sit her down and talk to her.[b] Or just send what you typed exactly here to her in a mail o[/b]r whatever and wait to see her response. Sometimes we are oblivious of our bad behaviors to others until we are told of such. Her reaction should be what would determine your next point of action.

i second the bolded

Ewuro4:


Wassup B, how are the gods?

Doing fine madam..

The gods are in Hawaii on vacation

bellong:


Doing fine madam..

The gods are in Hawaii on vacation

Barawo gods

Ewuro4:


Barawo gods

Don't offend them except you want them to use your atonement for vacation in Rio De Janeiro.

bellong:


Don't offend them except you want them to use your atonement for vacation in Rio De Janeiro.

This is serious

Ewuro4:


This is serious

They don't take blasphemous jokes lightly..

RiloKiley:

I have talked to her about it several times and have actually given up. It now looks like I am begging for thank yous and thats not the way it should be. I wouldnt have even bothered sharing this if not that she did this last one again.
Some part of me thinks she does it deliberately to "prevent my head from swelling" but i think she's overdoing it. I came from a family where appreciation is shown. I dont know if thats the way in other families.

To me she disregards you which is wrong attitude. I just wonder what happens if your means becomes limited. I suggest you correct her and insist she does the needful. What wll she teach ya kids in this aspect, not to show appreciation. Also doubt her friend telling about the business, rather I believe she brought in the friend so she won't give you the credit

Ewuro4:


Barawo gods

Im with you Ewuro
His gods get proper long throat
yet to see who they have helped with all their egunje

***Singing*** Jesus na You be Oga Jesus na You be Oga . . . . . . .. .
***Slams the door on her way out******

every woman or a lady must learn to say this two words




THANK U AND AM SORRY so as to stsy long wit der husband

Tearoses,

You know the gods just released you from a ban. The money from your sacrifice is what is paying the Hawaiian vacation.

Do you want to pay another?

OP, do you say "thank you" to her as well, for little things such as bringing you dinner?

See, I'm going to ask you a question: have you ever made comments, maybe during a fight or absent-mindedly, to the effects that "without you or what ypu provide, she's nothing? " A lot of times, women are told to love a man, adore him, pet him like a child and all sorts and he will treat them well. Which is kind of bad advice as it makes it seem like women need marriage and they have to spend the rest of their lives placating the man for "stooping so low as to marry her". So since you've spoken to her about this issue several times and she's still ignoring, perhaps, we should assume this is what goes through her mind:

"oh he wants to be constantly say "thank you" like his slave, yes he's taking care of me but when I take care of him, he doesn't notice, he treats it as if it is his right like he did me a favour in marrying him so I should spend the rest of my life pleasing him whilst whatever he does, anything involving me, he's expecting me to acknowledge it like a king stepped down from heaven to help a servant. Well guess who's not falling for that!! "

She's silently fighting you the fight has already begun since, you just didn't realise it (most men never do until the screaming part, which is the end of the fight, comes around )

I suspect this is the case because of how you described her behaviour in the Job matter. She was proud of her own input but deliberately refuses to acknowledge your own input. It's galling to be a woman in Nigerian society where you are treated as a second-class citizen (people of recent keep asking me to thank my husband for helping to take care of his own child, yet no-one is asking him to thank me for taking care of him. And he brings it up, I will keep quiet but start acting like your wife).

It's the same with parents and kids, yes you are sacrificing for them but do not constantly bring it up and throw it in their face, it rankles.

Start by saying "thank you" to her for little things: say "oh thanks for doing the dishes", "hey thanks for lunch", "oh did you already give Junior his bath and get him ready for school, thanks o". Teach her by example (you be the man no, Natural Born Leader abi ). She will follow your example.

Acknowledge her efforts in the little things (by your own admission she's a good wife) and she will acknowledge your efforts in the big things.

She's a good wife and she loves you and you love her but I suspect you subtly make yourself seem like a benevolent dictator and she dislikes it but dare not complain (lest the society starts to harangue her with "be grateful or he will leave you o! " so she's fighting you in her own little way. Just you start appreciating her little efforts, she'll join you.

Onegai:
OP, do you say "thank you" to her as well, for little things such as bringing you dinner?

See, I'm going to ask you a question: have you ever made comments, maybe during a fight or absent-mindedly, to the effects that "without you or what ypu provide, she's nothing? " A lot of times, women are told to love a man, adore him, pet him like a child and all sorts and he will treat them well. Which is kind of bad advice as it makes it seem like women need marriage and they have to spend the rest of their lives placating the man for "stooping so low as to marry her". So since you've spoken to her about this issue several times and she's still ignoring, perhaps, we should assume this is what goes through her mind:

"oh he wants to be constantly say "thank you" like his slave, yes he's taking care of me but when I take care of him, he doesn't notice, he treats it as if it is his right like he did me a favour in marrying him so I should spend the rest of my life pleasing him whilst whatever he does, anything involving me, he's expecting me to acknowledge it like a king stepped down from heaven to help a servant. Well guess who's not falling for that!! "

She's silently fighting you the fight has already begun since, you just didn't realise it (most men never do until the screaming part, which is the end of the fight, comes around )

I suspect this is the case because of how you described her behaviour in the Job matter. She was proud of her own input but deliberately refuses to acknowledge your own input. It's galling to be a woman in Nigerian society where you are treated as a second-class citizen (people of recent keep asking me to thank my husband for helping to take care of his own child, yet no-one is asking him to thank me for taking care of him. And he brings it up, I will keep quiet but start acting like your wife).

It's the same with parents and kids, yes you are sacrificing for them but do not constantly bring it up and throw it in their face, it rankles.

Start by saying "thank you" to her for little things: say "oh thanks for doing the dishes", "hey thanks for lunch", "oh did you already give Junior his bath and get him ready for school, thanks o". Teach her by example (you be the man no, Natural Born Leader abi ). She will follow your example.

Acknowledge her efforts in the little things (by your own admission she's a good wife) and she will acknowledge your efforts in the big things.

She's a good wife and she loves you and you love her but I suspect you subtly make yourself seem like a benevolent dictator and she dislikes it but dare not complain (lest the society starts to harangue her with "be grateful or he will leave you o! " so she's fighting you in her own little way. Just you start appreciating her little efforts, she'll join you.

Beautiful.

Op, this is the best advice so far. It is a fundamental natural law that you always have to give what you expect from life.

As this poster has said, stop expecting appreciation from her instead give her appreciatioon and she will definitely reciprocate.

Please understand that we are not assuming you have not been appreciative of your wife. You probably need to show more appreciation. That's all

@Onegai: Deep. Nice.

i wonder whats the age difference between you two..maybe theirs a big age difference and therefore you have taken the 'daddy' role.lol.probably if theirs a big age difference,thats why

Phema:
@Onegai: Deep. Nice.

Tenkyiu

tellwisdom:


He must have discussed this with her, countless of times before coming here to share it with you guys...Don't you think?

Ahah u re talking normal! lol nice

seriously i just have to comment despite the topic being old...

@Poster...u really are a good man. though its only ur side of dstory we read, i urge u to continue d good work u r doing in keeping ur home. however u must talk to ur wife....sit her down and explain how hurt u are by her indifference to u in terms of appreciation. if need be...call in someone shes close to n can listen to: eg her mum, best friend, pastor or priest. i think she wil understand better how u feel if someone else breaks down d possible effects of her behaviour on d marriage.

and to all posters above me who dont see anything wrong with wat d wife is doin....please u all shuld gerrarahere. appreciation goes a long way in every situationship we find ourselves.
God himself revels in our praises and worship of him.
personally...i am a very grateful person...mayb thats why am so irked abt d whole tin. u need to see me thankn pals for lil favours and help. Gratitude is an attitude and shuld neva b taken for granted. Nigerians and dir sense of entitlement shaa....smh!

Go here: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/

Read the sidebar...

Prec1ous:
That woman loves you.

It look like a problem but it is not, your wife has forgotten that you guys are two. She sees herself in you and naturally expects you to know that she appreciates.

She is not doing it intentionally, but since it hurts you, let her know about it. I know your type of man, the quiet man who wants validation and a sense of belonging.

Talk to her. No cause for alarm.

PS: did you ever suffer from inferiority complex or were you bullied in school. Your childhood may not have hold much fun and thus, you need to know others are concerned and see your effort.

Take care.

Wow, Like are you really really serious