okay here is my question.

Is it a bad thing to want to know where your husband is when he goes out and has not returned for like 5 hrs after he called you to say he was coming back home. i do not want to be a nagging wife, i trust him and don't think he is cheating (cuz he knows i will leave him in a heartbeat if i knew he was cheating).
According to my husband, "a man is not required to tell his wife where is", which i totally disagree with cuz if something bad happens to him, i would want to know. i feel like maybe i am up all in his business when i ask him where he was. what do u guys think.

should i just let him do his thing and do mine, and not care where he goes to or what he does. cuz most of the time i am stuck in the house alone while he is out, i work and go to school full-time and when i have a day off, i just wanna spend it with him but he is not home and i don't wanna be a nag.

so what should i do, go out myself and have my own fun and just ignore him, cuz wats the point of being married.

ima1:

okay here is my question.

Is it a bad thing to want to know where your husband is when he goes out and has not returned for like 5 hrs after he called you to say he was coming back home. i do not want to be a nagging wife, i trust him and don't think he is cheating (cuz he knows i will leave him in a heartbeat if i knew he was cheating).
According to my husband, "a man is not required to tell his wife where is", which i totally disagree with cuz if something bad happens to him, i would want to know. i feel like maybe i am up all in his business when i ask him where he was. what do u guys think.

should i just let him do his thing and do mine, and not care where he goes to or what he does. cuz most of the time i am stuck in the house alone while he is out, i work and go to school full-time and when i have a day off, i just wanna spend it with him but he is not home and i don't wanna be a nag.

so what should i do, go out myself and have my own fun and just ignore him, cuz wats the point of being married.

Was he joking when he said that??

ima1:

okay here is my question.

Is it a bad thing to want to know where your husband is when he goes out and has not returned for like 5 hrs after he called you to say he was coming back home. i do not want to be a nagging wife, i trust him and don't think he is cheating (cuz he knows i will leave him in a heartbeat if i knew he was cheating).
According to my husband, "a man is not required to tell his wife where is", which i totally disagree with cuz if something bad happens to him, i would want to know. i feel like maybe i am up all in his business when i ask him where he was. what do u guys think.

should i just let him do his thing and do mine, and not care where he goes to or what he does. cuz most of the time i am stuck in the house alone while he is out, i work and go to school full-time and when i have a day off, i just wanna spend it with him but he is not home and i don't wanna be a nag.

so what should i do, go out myself and have my own fun and just ignore him, cuz wats the point of being married.

Go out with your girlfriends and have fun.
Leave him alone to do his thing.

tope2000:

Was he joking when he said that??

I wish he was cuz, i was shocked when he said it and was like what the fu*k did u say

~Sauron~:

Go out with your girlfriends and have fun.
Leave him alone to do his thing.

That is what i have been thinking

~Sauron~:

Go out with your girlfriends and have fun.
Leave him alone to do his thing.

Communication is vital in every relationship.

@Poster
Please dont just start going out with ur friends because ur husband wont tell u where he has been . . . . . .This might have effect on ur relationship later on e.g. Lack of trust

Try n talk to him

B.T.W I op the tone in which u asked him where he was wasnt too harsh? this might have pissed him off

~Sauron~:

Go out with your girlfriends and have fun.
Leave him alone to do his thing.

Bad advice IMO. Your husband's "thing" is now your "thing" . . . if anything happens to him its you who will feel the pinch the most. Try and talk to him and make him see sense. I wouldnt want to spend so much time away from my wife.

ima1:

That is what i have been thinking

Join a Yoga class, go to the nearest cinema, take a stroll to the library.
Keep your mind busy. . . . .get PS3 console, burn ur energy playing Mortal Kombat.  
The more you worry about your hubby's whereabouts, the shorter your life span gets.

BE HAPPY!!!

tope2000:

Communication is vital in every relationship.

And who told you they don't communicate on other issues??
There's nothing in the constutition that says a man should tell his partner everything.
Hell. . . . . .I don't tell God everything.

davidylan:

Bad advice IMO. Your husband's "thing" is now your "thing" . . . if anything happens to him its you who will feel the pinch the most. Try and talk to him and make him see sense. I wouldnt want to spend so much time away from my wife.

I get antsy when women overdo their calls bombardment.
"Where are you" question every 5 mins can be tiring.
Jeeeez, i am fyne(i have been taking care of meself since). . . . . . .That should be enough.

~Sauron~:

And who told you they don't communicate on other issues??
There's nothing in the constutition that says a man should tell his partner everything.
Hell. . . . . .I don't tell God everything.

Telling ur wife where u were or went is now a big deal ?
So own wife's whereabout is non of ur bizness?

ima1:

okay here is my question.

Is it a bad thing to want to know where your husband is when he goes out and has not returned for like 5 hrs after he called you to say he was coming back home. i do not want to be a nagging wife, i trust him and don't think he is cheating (cuz he knows i will leave him in a heartbeat if i knew he was cheating).
According to my husband, "a man is not required to tell his wife where is", which i totally disagree with cuz if something bad happens to him, i would want to know. i feel like maybe i am up all in his business when i ask him where he was. what do u guys think.

should i just let him do his thing and do mine, and not care where he goes to or what he does. cuz most of the time i am stuck in the house alone while he is out, i work and go to school full-time and when i have a day off, i just wanna spend it with him but he is not home and i don't wanna be a nag.

so what should i do, go out myself and have my own fun and just ignore him, cuz wats the point of being married.

do you want to go out to get back at him? or you really want to hang out with ur friends?
if you are doing it to get back at him, history and statistics suggest that you'd be on the losing side.

dont' do it ma'am. talk to him

tope2000:

Telling ur wife where u were or went is now a big deal ?
So own wife's whereabout is non of ur bizness?

It's a big deal if i had already told her where i was going and she kept asking.
Gosh. . . . . .I am going to Finsbury park, i will be back in 2 hours.
Why call him again within the 2 hours to ask the same question?

~Sauron~:

It's a big deal if i had already told her where i was going and she kept asking.
Gosh. . . . . .I am going to Finsbury park, i will be back in 2 hours.
Why call him again within the 2 hours to ask the same question?

I dont think u read the poster's story very well

Is it a bad thing to want to know where your husband is when he goes out and has not returned for like 5 hrs after he called you to say he was coming back home

So therefore she is bound to be worried n have the right to ask him where he has been.

~Sauron~:

I get antsy when women overdo their calls bombardment.
"Where are you" question every 5 mins can be tiring.
Jeeeez, i am fyne(i have been taking care of meself since). . . . . . .That should be enough.

As long as she's not asking in a way that makes it sound like she's suspicious of your every move, i think its a valid question to ask as your wife. I'd be worried if my gf (not even wife) wasnt bothered about where i'd spent my day.

ima1:

okay here is my question.

Is it a bad thing to want to know where your husband is when he goes out and has not returned for like 5 hrs after he called you to say he was coming back home. i do not want to be a nagging wife, i trust him and don't think he is cheating (cuz he knows i will leave him in a heartbeat if i knew he was cheating).
According to my husband, "a man is not required to tell his wife where is", which i totally disagree with cuz if something bad happens to him, i would want to know. i feel like maybe i am up all in his business when i ask him where he was. what do u guys think.

should i just let him do his thing and do mine, and not care where he goes to or what he does. cuz most of the time i am stuck in the house alone while he is out, i work and go to school full-time and when i have a day off, i just wanna spend it with him but he is not home and i don't wanna be a nag.

so what should i do, go out myself and have my own fun and just ignore him, cuz wats the point of being married.

The highlighted is a recipe for a precipice in a relationship.

Maybe his response was impulsive thus communication and  understanding is KEY.

And remember we are talking about a life-long journey here.

davidylan:

As long as she's not asking in a way that makes it sound like she's suspicious of your every move, i think its a valid question to ask as your wife. I'd be worried if my gf (not even wife) wasnt bothered about where i'd spent my day.

Couldn't have said it any better!

oh goodness Sauron is making me laugh, do her thing playing mortar kombart? now that's funny

Are you minding Sauron?

@topic

Ask him if it works both ways? I mean are you also entitled to be wherever you want to be, go wherever you want to go without telling him? He didn't put your feelings into consideration before blurting out that statement. Does he realize the type of trauma one can go through if their loved one appears to be missing? I don't know why people think like this.

davidylan:

As long as she's not asking in a way that makes it sound like she's suspicious of your every move, i think its a valid question to ask as your wife. I'd be worried if my gf (not even wife) wasnt bothered about where i'd spent my day.

Thanks jare
some men deserve to grow old alone . . . i swear

@poster
Talk to him

stillwater:

Are you minding Sauron?

@topic

Ask him if it works both ways? I mean are you also entitled to be wherever you want to be, go wherever you want to go without telling him? He didn't put your feelings into consideration before blurting out that statement. Does he realize the type of trauma one can go through if their loved one appears to be missing? I don't know why people think like this.

Before we jump into conclusions here . . . we have only heard Ima's side of the story. How did she ask him? Nicely or aggressively? Was he stressed or in a bad mood when she asked the question? There is a way to win over your husband . . . its not by being dismissive.

kay_pumpin:

The highlighted is a recipe for a precipice in a relationship.

Maybe his response was impulsive thus communication and  understanding is KEY.

And remember we are talking about a life-long journey here.

Are u married? Life-long journey??
U must be an ardent fan of Mills n Boon . . . . .

davidylan:

As long as she's not asking in a way that makes it sound like she's suspicious of your every move, i think its a valid question to ask as your wife. I'd be worried if my gf (not even wife) wasnt bothered about where i'd spent my day.

Of course, women ask these questions like they are suspicious of something.
"Where are you, hmmmmmm??"  "Are u sure??" "Don't do what i wouldn't do"
Lets be honest, such comments bore men to death.

davidylan:

Before we jump into conclusions here . . . we have only heard Ima's side of the story. How did she ask him? Nicely or aggressively? Was he stressed or in a bad mood when she asked the question? There is a way to win over your husband . . . its not by being dismissive.

Now thats another thing

deleted

davidylan:

Before we jump into conclusions here . . . we have only heard Ima's side of the story. How did she ask him? Nicely or aggressively? Was he stressed or in a bad mood when she asked the question? There is a way to win over your husband . . . its not by being dismissive.

I can only go by what Ima says for now. She can't even call him to ask how he is after five hours of saying he's on his way before he says she's monitoring his movements, abeg.

~Sauron~:

Are u married? Life-long journey??
U must be an ardent fan of Mills n Boon . . . . .

Of course i am and speaking from experience

Except you have a contrary defination for marriage,i will take your M&B shot as a compliment.

stillwater:

I can only go by what Ima says for now. She can't even call him to ask how he is after five hours of saying he's on his way before he says she's monitoring his movements, abeg.

Perhaps she does this way too often the guy was begining to feel smothered. I'm not even a fan of married folks who bring their marital problems here . . . solve them at home! It isnt rocket science . . . if you cant read your partner's body language by now . . . na wa o.

Pls dont  strike back on your hubby's act.Just talk him.A word is enough,

kay_pumpin:

Of course i am and speaking from experience
Except you have a contrary defination for marriage,i will take your M&B shot as a compliment.

Don't take it personal.

stillwater:

I can only go by what Ima says for now. She can't even call him to ask how he is after five hours of saying he's on his way before he says she's monitoring his movements, abeg.

This musta been going on for a long time.
Men don't just make such comments without under-currents.
Women should learn to give men a little breathing space. . . . .

thank you all for ur advice.

i never asked him where he was just to be a nag, but it was because i prepared dinner and everything and he called to tell me he was coming home, and 5 hrs later no show, so i decided to go to bed cuz i have classes the next morning, and he walked in, i let him put his things down and was asking if he ate outside, cuz it was late and i put the food back in the fridge so it doesn't get spoiled (since i did not know when he was coming home). funny it was the first time i asked him and he blew things outta proportion. i was alone at home and it sucked just being there alone.

i think maybe i need to have a life outside us. i try to keep busy with work and school, and he tells me we need family time, so when i am available he ups and leave with no info as to where is going. i have been supportive but would hate to be taken for-granted.

ima1:

i think maybe i need to have a life outside us. i try to keep busy with work and school, and he tells me we need family time, so when i am available he ups and leave with no info as to where is going. i have been supportive but would hate to be taken for-granted.

You are over-reacting.
Talk to him about it in bed. . . . . . .Maybe he wasn't really in a good mood and the manner of approach was not right.
He is not taking you for granted.

davidylan:

Perhaps she does this way too often the guy was begining to feel smothered. I'm not even a fan of married folks who bring their marital problems here . . . solve them at home! It isnt rocket science . . . if you cant read your partner's body language by now . . . na wa o.

To be honest i don't call him at all to find out where he is at cuz i have work 5-6 days outta the week (in the evening) and classes from 7am in the morning and from class i have to rush to work, so its not like i sit down nagging him, cuz nagging is the last thing i ever want to do. but the thing is i did not get married to be left alone at home.

~Sauron~:

Don't take it personal.

Nah i didn't.

~Sauron~:

You are over-reacting.
Talk to him about it in bed. . . . . . .Maybe he wasn't really in a good mood and the manner of approach was not right.
He is not taking you for granted.

Heed to this one!

ima1:

thank you all for ur advice.

i never asked him where he was just to be a nag, but it was because i prepared dinner and everything and he called to tell me he was coming home, and 5 hrs later no show, so i decided to go to bed cuz i have classes the next morning, and he walked in, i let him put his things down and was asking if he ate outside, cuz it was late and i put the food back in the fridge so it doesn't get spoiled (since i did not know when he was coming home). funny it was the first time i asked him and he blew things outta proportion. i was alone at home and it sucked just being there alone.

i think maybe i need to have a life outside us. i try to keep busy with work and school, and he tells me we need family time, so when i am available he ups and leave with no info as to where is going. i have been supportive but would hate to be taken for-granted.

Im sorry but how long have u guys been married??

How long did u guys dated for b4 u marry each other??

Have u always kept quiet abt everything he does because u dont want to come across as nagging person?? If so big mistake.

~Sauron~:

You are over-reacting.
Talk to him about it in bed. . . . . . .Maybe he wasn't really in a good mood and the manner of approach was not right.
He is not taking you for granted.

Ima take note.